Shared Destinies
by amightypenguin
Summary: Marriage Law fic. Not HBP/DH compliant. Forced together because of a law Voldemort has put into effect, Hermione and Remus try to hold onto their friendship while faced with Dark Lords, jealous friends, and more werewolves.
1. Breaking the News

Hermione always seemed to know when something bad was going to happen. It wasn't like a light went off inside her head and she suddenly knew what dangers were about take place, but she got a strange prickly feeling between her shoulder blades. When she was younger, she had thought that she had just felt a chill. But as the years progressed, and she was Harry Potter's friend longer, she realized it was like an alarm system.

For when you were Harry Potter's friend, you were in danger quite a bit. Harry and Ron would jump into any situation without a second thought, but Hermione was the one who seemed to think about it first. The reason was the strange prickly feeling. Harry and Ron seemed to think they were impervious to danger. They didn't ever say it, but judging by the way they barged into any situation, they believed subconsciously that they were going to be fine no matter what.

Hermione didn't share their views.

And so when she woke the morning of October twenty-ninth to the strange prickly feeling in her back, she was a little cautious in her movements. She knew, somehow she knew, that any moment news would reach their ears that would send her best friends into a fit of heroic duty. And she would have to be the one that held them back.

They went down to breakfast, the boys chatting happily amongst themselves while Hermione was silent. Maybe she was being paranoid. Maybe nothing was wrong. She was probably hormonal.

She brushed aside her unease and sat at the Gryffindor table and reached for a piece of toast.

"I heard that it's going to be a dance on Halloween!" Parvati said excitedly. "Dumbledore's hired a band and everything!"

"If it was a dance, don't you think they would have told us?" Seamus asked around a mouthful of bacon. Parvati grimaced and looked away from him, turning her nose into the air.

"Why would they?" Lavender asked.

"Aren't you supposed to have a date to a dance?"

"Not necessarily," Parvati replied, still not looking at Seamus while he stuffed his face. "It's not a formal thing, just a bit of fun."

_Well_, Hermione thought bitterly. _At least it's not formal._

Was that what the prickling was? About a _dance_? Sure, she wasn't a fan of dances but really. She thought her inner alarm system would be more fine-tuned than warning her about hormonal teenage over-excitement.

The hall suddenly filled with the sounds of flapping wings and low screeches as owls flew in through the windows to bring the mail. Hermione looked for her owl which would bring her the _Daily Prophet._ She read it each morning with trepidation, but knowing what horrors were happening outside the world of Hogwarts was better than being left in the dark. Each new day brought more news of destruction and death, but Hermione kept reading. She had to know what was happening, and had to keep reminding herself what they were fighting for.

A tawny owl landed before her with the _Prophet_ in its beak and she took the paper before filling the little leather pouch with the right amount of coins. As the owl took off and Hermione unrolled her paper, another owl landed before her. Hermione frowned. She never got mail outside of the newspaper. She took the letter and had just enough time to see the official Ministry seal before another owl landed. And then another. And another. She stared at the owls in confusion as they shuffled forward and dropped their letters onto her plate and took off. More and more came to her, leaving their letters behind until her plate was piled with them.

"What the-"

"Miss Granger." Hermione looked up and saw the Headmaster standing next to her and looking intent. "Come with me and bring those letters."

Hermione did as he asked, looking curiously at her friends who looked as confused as she felt. She grabbed the envelopes, all thirteen of them, and stood up to follow Dumbledore out of the hall. Harry and Ron stood up as well, but Dumbledore stopped them.

"No, just Miss Granger, thank you," he said kindly, but with a hint of steel behind his words. Ron looked bewildered and Harry frowned. Hermione followed the headmaster out into the Entrance Hall.

"Professor, what-"

"Not here, my dear," he said softly. "Wait until we're in my office."

The continued down the corridors in silence, and she matched her pace to Dumbledore's as he sped up a little. When they reached the stone gargoyle, Dumbledore didn't even stop as he said, "Ton-Tongue Toffee."

The gargoyle leapt aside and the headmaster stepped up onto the moving staircase. Hermione followed him up to the top and through his office door. Fawkes was seated on his perch by the door and turned his head into Dumbledore's hand as the headmaster gave him an absent pat. The phoenix turned his bright eyes to Hermione and tilted his head. She smiled and followed Dumbledore all the way in.

She looked around herself, having not been in the office before, and almost jumped out of her skin when she saw Snape by the fireplace.

"Headmaster, I swear-" he saw Hermione and halted for a moment, staring at her intently before continuing. "I didn't find out until this last night and I only just got back. If I had known, I would have informed you, I swear it."

"I believe you, my boy," Dumbledore said heavily as he sat in his chair behind his desk. "I believe you. Now, we must decide what's to be done."

Were they talking about her? What's to be done about what?

Snape eyed the letters in her hands with dismay as Dumbledore gestured to the seat before his desk. She sat, looking between the two men with rising alarm. Did this have something to do with the letters? She looked at all the envelopes in her lap and saw that they were all identical. Each had the Ministry seal and were addressed to her.

"What is going on?" Hermione finally asked. The two men looked up at her with carefully blank faces. She frowned.

Dumbledore sighed and rested his hands on his desk. "Miss Granger," he said. "Do you know anything of the Marriage Act of 1027?"

"Yes," Hermione said cautiously. "It was a marriage law put in effect because of the low numbers of witches and wizards at the time. Witches and wizards were told to marry Muggles and Muggle-borns to expand the Wizarding race. Had it not been made, the magical blood-lines would have probably died out."

"Precisely," Dumbledore said with a nod. "The law, however, was terminated in 1807 because it was considered old-fashioned and was no longer needed. Magical people were flourishing. Unfortunately, in recent years the numbers of our kind have dropped. The law was brought up in the Ministry again recently but was never pushed through because it was considered unfair to the populace."

"Okay…" Hermione said. "What does that have to do with me?"

Snape and Dumbledore were silent for many moments. Dumbledore finally leaned forward and looked her in the eye. His were no longer twinkling like they normally did.

"Voldemort has his hands in the Ministry," he said seriously. "It is under his control now. Each person there is like a puppet on a string. Because of this, he has pushed the Marriage Act back into effect."

Hermione was silent, uncomprehending. "Why would he do that? He cares about blood purity! What would be the point in having pure-bloods mix with Muggle-borns?"

"Actually, Miss Granger," Dumbledore said thoughtfully. "He doesn't really care about bloodlines at all. All he cares about is power. He saw how blood purity was a way of life for many people and used it to his advantage. Now he is one of the most powerful wizards of the day, with many followers who don't realize their leader is a half-blood himself."

"I still don't understand the point of this," Hermione said. "Yes, the numbers of witches and wizards are dropping, but not that desperately. This makes no sense."

"Miss Granger," Snape said suddenly. She looked up at him. "He's using this law as an excuse. He doesn't care about Muggle-borns as a whole. His only target is one."

Hermione still didn't understand. She thought the only person that Voldemort cared about was Harry, but Harry's a half-blood.

"He wants you, Miss Granger," Dumbledore said morosely. Hermione's heart stopped. Her throat closed. She couldn't breathe. She made an odd sort of choking noise as she tried to draw air.

"Breath slowly, my dear," Dumbledore said

"Why…?" she rasped.

"A number of reasons," Snape said, sounding perfectly normal. The bastard. "You are Harry Potter's best friend, which puts an automatic target on your back. If you were to marry a Death Eater, which is his plan, you'd be put into his hands and would be a hard blow to Potter."

"You are also the brightest child to come through Hogwarts since Tom Riddle himself," Dumbledore said, standing to his feet. He began to pace slowly around the room. "He wants the use of your mind. He can force you to make whatever he wants, because he knows you have the ability."

"Couldn't he make others do it instead?" she asked.

"No," said Snape. "You can only force people to do what is within their capacity. In the Death Eater ranks, there is a serious lack of intelligence and powerful magic. Only myself and the Malfoy's are deemed truly clever. With you and the Dark Lord put together, there is no end to what you can accomplish and he knows this. It is why he desires you so much."

"To make me create things that will kill hundreds of people," Hermione whispered.

"Yes," said Dumbledore, coming to a stop next to his desk. "And to help him bring an end to Harry."

"I wouldn't do it," Hermione said stoutly.

"You wouldn't have a choice," Snape said with a sneer. "He would Imperius you the moment you were before him. You'd be doing anything and everything he asked without a moment's hesitation."

So Voldemort wanted her because he wanted to use her as a weapon against Harry and the Wizarding world. He couldn't force anyone else to make these potions or spells or whatever because they didn't have the magical capability that she did. Nothing would be to the level that Voldemort wanted. So he would join his magic to hers and ruin the world.

"Why is he doing this with the marriage law?" she asked. "Couldn't he try to kidnap me or something?"

"He knows you are heavily protected," Snape said. "It would be almost impossible to capture you. With the law, it makes escape illegal. If you were to refuse, you'd be sent to Azkaban. The problem with that choice is that the Dark Lord is in charge of the prison as well. If you were sent there, he would have you anyway."

"So I have no choice," she murmured. "I have to marry a Death Eater. Is that what these are?" She gestured to the letters in her lap.

"Those are petitions for you, yes," Dumbledore said. "But we're going to think of a way out of this. I will not have you marrying a Death Eater."

"How long do I have before I have to make a decision?" she asked, looking up resignedly.

"You have a month to choose before one is chosen for you," Snape said.

She nodded and sat there silently. What was she to do? How could they possibly find a way out of this?

"Wait," she said suddenly, her fear increasing. "Even if we were to find someone else for me to marry, it has to be accepted by the Ministry, correct?" Dumbledore nodded. Her heart dropped. "No matter who I choose, they'll decline it until I accept a Death Eater."

"No, Miss Granger," Dumbledore said kindly. "I have a contact at the Ministry. She'll be able to accept who we decide, as long as he's either a half-blood or pure-blood. You must get married, yes. But not to a Death Eater."

She felt only marginally better about that. She still had to get married. Her dreams were being ruined before her eyes.

"Is there anyone who comes to mind, Miss Granger?" Dumbledore asked gently. She shook her head. Ron, but he wasn't seventeen yet and wouldn't be able to marry her. Same with Harry.

"It should be someone from the Order," Snape said to Dumbledore in a low tone, as though trying to block Hermione from the conversation. "She'll need all the protection she can get."

"I agree," Dumbledore replied, also in a low voice. "Someone powerful enough to protect her and well-hidden enough to keep her safe."

They were planning her future for her. She was going to be stuck with someone from the Order. Well, someone was going to be stuck with her, really. Who would it be?

An image of Bill Weasley popped into her head and she suppressed a snicker. Yeah right. The world was not kind enough to her for her to end up with Bill. He was way too attractive to end up with her. And wasn't he dating that Fleur girl?

Charlie was in another country, and not likely to accept. They'd had a wee bit of a fight at the Quidditch World Cup about…well she didn't really remember. But they hadn't parted on good terms.

Percy was no good. He worked at the Ministry and was a royal arse.

Fred or George. Hermione grimaced. They were sweet guys, really, but she'd be forever nagging at either of them and neither would appreciate it. They were too immature.

Ron…she liked Ron. Why couldn't he be of age? She wouldn't mind marrying him…She'd only thought of it a few (hundred) times. She really liked him. And she knew that he really liked her. Life was ridiculous.

She didn't really know any of the other Order members. She's never been to a meeting and had only flashes of random people.

"If we could keep her here, that would be even better," Dumbledore said. That was true, Hermione admitted. But who could she marry that she could stay at Hogwarts? Another student, but that didn't fall into the category of 'Order' though. The only Order members she knew of at the school were McGonagall, Snape (ew), and Lupin, who had been brought back as the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.

They'd been worried at first about an uproar from the parents about having the werewolf back, but because of the horrors happening in the world, no one seemed to notice a new teacher being appointed at Hogwarts. He'd easily been the most instructive teacher they'd ever had. He was more than qualified. And so he was back this year, much to Harry, Ron, and Hermione's delight.

Almost as if hearing Hermione's thoughts, Dumbledore said softly, "There's always Remus."

Hermione's jaw dropped, but it went unnoticed by the two men. They want her to marry Lupin? Snape didn't look too pleased by the idea, but he didn't protest.

"You'd have to convince him, Albus," Snape said dubiously. "He wouldn't be too excited about marrying his own student, even if it was for her safety."

"Well then, there's you," Dumbledore said, as though the thought had merit. Hermione's insides went cold. _No bloody way…_

Snape went rigid and said through clenched teeth, "I'll go get him. Excuse me."

Snape swept from the room with all due haste and shut the door. As soon as the door closed Dumbledore let out a small chuckle. Seeing the horrified look on Hermione's face, Dumbledore smiled.

"I wouldn't want you to marry Severus, Miss Granger," he said. "Too dangerous. You two also can't stand each other. It wouldn't be fair to either of you."

Hermione nodded, sighing in relief.

"You're thinking Lupin?" she asked after a moment. Dumbledore nodded.

"I think it's our best option," he said, stroking his beard. "He's a great fighter and would protect you to his best ability. Would it bother you to be paired with him?"

Hermione shrugged. "I don't know. It's just so odd to even think about. I like him, certainly, but we'd be married even after the war. Wizarding marriages can't be dissolved, can they?"

"I'm afraid not, Miss Granger," Dumbledore said. Before she could reply, there was a knock on the door. "Enter."

The door opened and Lupin's head peered into the room. He'd cut his hair short recently, so that the only long pieces were his fringe. It was a handsome look for him, showing the strong lines of his face. It made him look younger, and his eyes appear all the more intense.

"You wished to see me?" he said to Dumbledore.

"Yes," the headmaster replied, gesturing to the empty seat. As Lupin walked to the empty seat, Hermione suddenly felt nervous. What if he said no? What would they do then?

"Have you read the paper this morning yet, Remus?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yes," Lupin replied with a nod. "I see they're reinstating the marriage law."

"Indeed, which is why Miss Granger is here," Dumbledore said, pointing at Hermione. She squirmed in her seat and lowered her head. She could feel Lupin's eyes on her and could tell the exact moment he realized why he was there. He went still in his seat and didn't say a word.

Dumbledore explained the situation to him, telling him of Voldemort's plan and what they needed to do for Hermione's safety. Lupin remained silent.

"Do you know what I'm going to ask you?" Dumbledore said softly.

"Yes," Lupin said, looking at the floor. "You want me to petition for Hermione."

"That is the plan," Dumbledore replied.

"But I'm a werewolf," Lupin said in irritation. "I can't petition for her. It's not possible."

"Yes it is," Dumbledore replied, looking surprised. "Your lycanthropy can't be passed on to a partner sexually."

Hermione's eyes widened and her stomach dropped. She hadn't even considered that part of marriage. She would have to have sex with whoever she ended up with. That was the point of the law, after all, procreation. Oh dear God.

"I know that," Lupin said dismissively. "But what of any child? Would it be possible to spread it that way?"

"No," Dumbledore said firmly. "It has been researched and no lycanthropic children have come from a werewolf parent."

Lupin sat back in his chair. "This doesn't seem fair to Hermione."

"It's not," Dumbledore said. "It's not fair to any Muggle-born. But we must keep Hermione safe and this is our best bet."

Lupin looked over at her curiously. "Do you even want to marry me?"

"I don't want to marry anyone," Hermione said sadly.

"I know this is difficult, and unfair to both of you," Dumbledore said, looking between the two of them. "But you must take something into consideration. You have to decide if your own comfort is more important that than of an entire country. If she is put in the hands of Voldemort, our chances of winning will be demolished. We need her with us. She'll be safest here, with you Remus, than anywhere else."

Lupin nodded but closed his eyes and rubbed them with the thumb and middle finger of his right hand. He wanted to do this as much as she did. He dropped his hand and looked at her, his tawny eyes resigned.

"I'll leave you to talk for a moment," Dumbledore said, standing and taking his leave.

After he was gone, she and Lupin were silent for a long moment. They looked at each other for a split-second and then looked away.

"I can't believe this," he finally said. "If I say no, it's like I'm turning my back on the Order."

"I don't think of it that way," Hermione said, trying to sound something other than terrified. "You couldn't possibly want to marry me."

"It's not that, Hermione," he said, looking over at her. "I mean, yes it is, but not because I don't like you. You're so young…you're my student. This just seems wrong. I want to protect you, keep you safe, but I wish there was another way."

She nodded. "I never wanted this. I wish Ron was of age, then this wouldn't be so bad. I wouldn't be ruining your life."

Finally the tears came. She tried to keep them in check, but they fell from her eyes onto the petitions in her lap. She heard Lupin stand, probably to leave and let her sob in private. She was surprised when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up and he smiled sadly. He took her clasped hands and pulled her to her feet. The petitions dropped to the floor and he wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm so sorry, Hermione," he said into her ear. Hesitantly, she wrapped her own arms around his middle. "You won't be ruining my life, just changing it a bit."

"I don't want to do that either," she murmured, her chest heaving with her every breath.

"As long as you're safe, that's all that matters," he said reassuringly.

"I'm going to get you all wet," she said in between sobs.

"I'm not going to melt," he replied, hugging her closer. She laughed, unable to help it, and set her cheek to his chest. He rubbed her back gently and said, "I'll do it."

She leaned back and looked up at him. She sniffed and said, "Really?"

"Really," he replied, reaching up and wiping away her tears. "I think it's for the best. I would hate to see you being used as Voldemort's puppet."

"Thank you," she whispered. He only nodded.

When Dumbledore came in a few minutes later, they were back in their chairs waiting for him.

"Well?" he asked, eyeing Lupin.

"Yes," Lupin said.

Hermione felt oddly disconnected as she watched Lupin fill out a petition. She watched his large hand sign his name. She looked at his old jeans and old shirt, smiling softly. He was much too young to look so tired. The lines around his eyes and mouth had deepened. He was still attractive though. He was tall and broad, though slightly thin. He'd been a wreck when he'd first come to Hogwarts, looking like a skeleton in his skinniness, but with a steady stream of food he'd begun to fill out again.

Lupin finished filling out a form that Dumbledore had procured when he'd first found out the news of the law. Hermione thought that was rather presumptuous of him, but didn't say anything. Lupin handed the parchment to Dumbledore, who called Fawkes.

The phoenix soared silently over to Dumbledore's shoulder and obediently stuck out his leg.

"Make sure no one but Mrs. Cheeks sees this," Dumbledore said to the bird. Fawkes gave a single ringing note and disappeared in a flash of fire. Hermione gasped and stared at the blank space where Fawkes had vanished.

"Now what?" Lupin asked, sinking into his chair to get more comfortable. He spread his long legs out before and looked at Dumbledore.

"Now we wait for the response," Dumbledore said softly. "Mrs. Cheeks must receive the document, or else this will not work. If it falls into anyone else's hands, our plan will be ruined and no doubt the Ministry will force Hermione into a marriage of their choosing."

Hermione's fear, which had abated somewhat as Lupin signed the forms, returned. She didn't realize how important this whole situation was. A very powerful and influential wizard was after her, one who would do anything to get her. Even by bringing a defunct law back into being, ruining many young people's lives. He had spies everywhere. What if one did find Lupin's petition?

Her life would be over as she knew it.

They waited for almost a half hour in silence. Hermione tried to regulate her breathing as she eyed the petitions that had fallen to the floor, wondering who had asked for her. The faces of some of the men from the ministry last year entered her mind and she shuddered.

_Please,_ she thought helplessly. _Please let it go through. Please let it work._

There was a sudden flash of fire above Dumbledore's desk and Fawkes reappeared, clutching a parchment in his claws. Dumbledore wordless held out a hand and Fawkes delivered the missive to him. Upon being relieved of his duty, Fawkes shocked Hermione by soaring over and landing on her shoulder. She went rigid, looking hopelessly at Dumbledore and wondering what to do. But Dumbledore was reading the letter. Fawkes nudged Hermione's cheek and she reached up a hand to pet him. The phoenix closed his eyes contentedly and let her continue to stroke his head.

"Miss Granger," Dumbledore said. She looked over at him and almost cried in relief when she saw he was smiling. "You must sign this form in acceptance." Fawkes swept off her shoulder to go instead to Lupin, who looked as surprised as Hermione had.

She leaned forward and Dumbledore pointed to the line she needed to put her name on. Holding her breath, she signed. The moment the quill was no longer touching the parchment, it vanished.

"What happened?" she gasped.

"It went to the Ministry," Dumbledore replied. "Mrs. Cheeks, Belinda is her name, set a charm on the paper so that she could get it immediately. She broke a few laws, forging another person's signature being the main one, to make sure that this went through. We owe her quite a bit."

"Why did she forge another's signature?" Lupin asked absently, stroking Fawkes's wing.

"She didn't want anyone to know that it was her that validated this marriage," Dumbledore said lightly. "If someone was to find out it was her, she'd be in a lot of trouble."

He crinkled up what appeared to be a small bit of parchment, Hermione guessed it was from Belinda Cheeks and had been attached to the document, and tossed it into the fire.

"Well," Dumbledore said, looking between her and Lupin with a smile, the twinkle back in his eye. "Congratulations. I recommend we do this as soon as possible."

"How soon?" Hermione asked.

"Saturday would be the best, I think," Dumbledore replied. The blood drained from Hermione's face. Two days? She had two days to prepare to marriage?

"So soon?" Lupin rasped. She looked over and saw that he looked more pale than usual.

"Yes," Dumbledore said, sounding slightly irritated. "We must get this done soon so that Voldemort's contacts in the Ministry cannot overrule it. I think Saturday is pushing it a little, but it's a Hogsmeade visit and most of the school will be gone."

"So we'll do it here?" Hermione asked, trying to make her voice sound normal.

"Yes," Dumbledore said with a nod. "It's the safest bet. I'll bring a friend of mine to officiate." He was silent for a moment, contemplating his desk before he said, "Come back here tonight at seven-thirty. I'll have some things for the both of you. Now, Miss Granger, you should be going to class."

She nodded and stood, glancing at Lupin for a moment before taking her leave. How on earth was she going to take classes from her _husband?_

_

* * *

  
_

Remus stared at Dumbledore without really seeing him. In a span of one hour, his life and been turned upside down. He was going to be married, something he had promised himself a long time ago that he would not do. To make it worse, he was marrying his student.

He groaned and covered his face with his hands. Fawkes left his shoulder and went back to his perch.

"I know this is hard-" Dumbledore began but Remus cut him off.

"You have no idea what this is," Remus spat, looking up from his hands. "She's seventeen years old. She's my student. She's Harry's best friend. How are we supposed to do this? How can I teach her after…after…"

He stopped, unable to say it. He had to sleep with her. He had to sleep with a seventeen year-old girl.

"It's either this, or she goes to Voldemort on a silver platter," Dumbledore said sternly. "I know you're not comfortable with it, I'm not comfortable with it, but for her safety, it must be done."

"I know," Remus said heavily. "I know."

"You're doing what's right," Dumbledore said faintly. "It may feel wrong, but it's the right thing to do for Hermione."

Remus gave an indistinct noise as the door to the office opened again. Remus didn't want to look. He didn't want to deal with anyone at the moment.

"I take it that it worked," came Snape's drawl.

Remus stood and moved toward the door, refusing to look at Snape. He was the last person Remus wanted to talk to.

"Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials, _Professor,_" Snape said scathingly. Remus stopped and turned to the unpleasant man.

"Fuck you," he said softly. "If you ever say anything about this to me again, I'll find you the next full moon and finish what I started when we were in school."

Snape went a sickly green color and Remus left the room, slamming the door behind him. Oddly, threatening Snape made him feel better. He'd never tried it before, wanting to try and make peace between them. No wonder James and Sirius were always so chipper through school.


	2. Shock

Hermione tried to ease into Transfigurations without being seen, but McGonagall announced her arrival for her.

"Where were you, Miss Granger?" she asked sternly. Hermione smiled feebly.

"I was in the Headmaster's office," she replied, inching toward her seat. McGonagall nodded and let Hermione off the hook with nothing more said.

"What happened?" Ron asked in an undertone as McGonagall continued to lecture on Animagus forms.

"I'll tell you later," she replied, reaching for her bag.

The lesson was an absolute mess. Her head wasn't in it, and so her magic suffered. She couldn't change the lemur before her into cockatoo. Even Ron got it and she didn't. The lemur watched her with interest as she waved her wand at him, but nothing happened. At least he didn't try to get away, like Neville's lemur. The thing jumped all over the room before it was caught, resulting basically in chaos.

Lunch was a welcome sight. The bell rang and McGonagall pulled her aside to issue the extra homework, not wanting to embarrass Hermione in front of the class.

"I know this marriage law business is a shock, but you can't let it affect your studies," she reprimanded, giving Hermione a maternal glare. Hermione nodded weakly, unable to speak, and was let loose.

"What is wrong?" Harry demanded once she left the Transfiguration classroom. He and Ron had been waiting outside for her.

"I…well…it's…" she still couldn't seem to speak. She shook her head helplessly and the tears from earlier returned to her eyes. Harry gave her a confused look and pulled her into a hug.

"It's that law thing, isn't it?" he asked. She nodded.

"You have to get married?!" Ron shrieked, causing a few students in the hall to look at them curiously.

"Ron," Hermione hissed. "Shush!"

She gestured for her friends to follow her into an empty classroom. They shut the door and she cast a silencing spell so that no one on the other side would hear their conversation.

"Yes, I have to get married," she said, turning away from them. She walked slowly to the other side of the room and stared at the floor.

"Is that what those owls were?" Harry asked. "People offering for you or something?"

Ron made a sound like a charging bull and Hermione smiled faintly.

"Yes, those were official petitions," she replied. "All of which were from Death Eaters."

Ron gasped and Harry went rigid. She explained everything, how Voldemort wanted her, the marriage law being mainly about having a legal way to get his hands on her, and how she has to marry someone from the Order for protection.

They ended up sitting in a corner. She leaned against the wall and looked between her friends. Harry looked livid and Ron looked a little ill.

"Is it one of my brothers?" Ron asked, looking uncomfortable.

"No," she said with a shake of her head and grimacing.

"Well they're not that bad," he said indignantly. Hermione laughed.

"That's not it," she said. She looked between them and then back at the floor.

"Hermione," Harry said slowly. "Who do you have to marry?"

She looked at him helplessly, afraid of his reaction. Lupin was like a parent to Harry. How could it possibly be okay to him for her to marry his parental figure?

"Lupin," she whispered. Harry's face went blank with surprise as Ron made gasping sound.

"Lupin?" he asked, looking horrified. "Our Defense teacher?"

She nodded. Harry still looked like he'd been hit in the head with a Beater's bat. Ron shoved himself to his feet and began to pace.

"Why can't it be me?" he demanded.

"Because you're not of age yet," she replied in a warbled voice. She broke down into sobs yet again. She felt like a watering pot.

She was marrying someone she hardly knew. The man, well boy really, that she loved was having conniptions and she would never be able to be with him.

Harry rubbed her back as Ron slumped to the floor next to her. Together, they held her between them. Over her despair, she felt surprised that the boys were holding her like this. They hardly touched her normally.

"When?" Harry asked, pulling back and regarding her face.

"Saturday," she whispered. His eyes widened but he nodded, understanding the urgency.

"Lupin's a great guy," Harry said. "It could be loads worse. You could have been put with Snape."

"Dumbledore didn't want me with Snape," Hermione sniffed. "He said it was too dangerous."

"Thank Merlin for small favors," Ron muttered.

* * *

Remus gave his classes a silent study hall for the day, allowing them to finish their homework from other classes while giving him the chance to think. While under the pretense of grading, he stared blankly at the sheet in front of him and thought about the next few days.

The room was silent around him as the fifth-year class scratched away at their parchments with their quills. Two girls in the third row were passing notes, but Remus didn't care.

Hermione was only a year ahead of these kids. Sometimes, he forgot that fact. She was really quite mature for her age, which made the situation slightly easier. He could have been put with someone immature and selfish, but Hermione was neither. She was one of the smartest people he'd ever met. She actually kind of reminded him of Lily from back when they were students. Always reading, always studying, always snapping at the students who were too loud or causing trouble.

Hermione was always nice to him as well. He'd never seen her lose her patience with anyone but Ron, Fred, and George. And then it was because they were irritating her.

He thought back to the Ministry last year, remembering how it had been he, Remus, who had brought her back to Hogwarts. She'd been limp as a doll in his arms as he'd gone through the floo network into the hospital wing. Funny, he didn't remember looking at any of the other kids as Pomfrey looked to Hermione. She'd been so still, she'd looked dead.

He'd sat next to her until Aurors from the Magical Law Enforcement questioned him. When he'd looked over and saw that Hermione was awake, he'd left. He's not sure why he had waited until she awoke, it just seemed like the right thing to do.

He liked Hermione. Being married to her wouldn't be bad. It will be strange, but not bad. Would they have to live together? Remus didn't think so. They were probably going to want to keep this quiet from the general public. Death Eaters were going to know anyway when they looked into it. They probably already knew. At least they didn't know what day. They probably figured they had time to ruin the plans, but they were wrong.

Two days. Two bloody days.

So she would live in her rooms in the Gryffindor quarters, and he would live in his private quarters. They would only have to sleep together once, right? For consummation of the marriage. That was it. Perhaps they wouldn't even have to do that.

Maybe they could go on as if nothing had happened. _They'd_ know. _The Order _would know. But that's it. It's not going to be a thing of public knowledge.

The bell rang and he didn't even look up at the class as they filed out. Instead he looked at his watch.

Five o'clock. He had two and a half hours. What did Dumbledore need them for?

Remus sat in his desk chair for the next two hours and fifteen minutes. He didn't feel the time go by. When he next checked his watch, he thought that maybe ten minutes had passed. When he realized that it was seven fifteen, he jumped from his chair and left the classroom, idly thinking that the person who invented the phrase, 'Time flies when you're having fun' was mentally unbalanced.

He rushed past students on their way to their dorms, all looking at him curiously. They probably wondered where he was going in such a rush. He made it to the stone gargoyle and paused, trying to catch his breath and remember the password.

"Ton-Tongue Toffee," said a quiet, hesitant voice. He looked to his right and there was Hermione, dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt with her hair up in a ponytail. She gave him a small smile as she climbed into the revolving stairs. He stepped up behind her and neither said a word as they ascended. Both were still silent as they entered the headmaster's office.

"Ah, good," said Dumbledore, standing from his desk and moving around to stand before them. He looked in better cheer than when they had visited him earlier.

"Good evening, professor," Hermione said. Remus only nodded.

"I realize this whole affair is very unfair to the pair of you," Dumbledore began. Hermione looked to the floor, as though wishing it would swallow her, and Remus suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. _No fucking kidding. _"And so I've been thinking of a way to make the situation, if not easier, then at least more sparkly."

Remus peered at the old man and saw the twinkle was back in his eyes. That didn't ease him in the least.

"Sparkly?" Hermione repeated.

Dumbledore nodded cheerfully and motion for them to follow him as he went to a blank stretch of wall. He raised an old, long-fingered hand to a stone and the wall slid away, revealing a secret staircase that lead down in a spiral.

"Follow me," Dumbledore said.

He disappeared down the stairs. Hermione looked at Remus uncomprehendingly before following the old man. Remus followed and felt as confused as Hermione looked. What was Dumbledore doing?

The spiral staircase twisted down and down, sufficiently throwing Remus's equilibrium off. All he could see was the back of Hermione head with the help of random wall sconces that were spaced too far apart, sometimes leaving them in pure darkness.

Remus was beginning to get irritated. Where the hell were they going? What did Dumbledore mean, 'sparkly'?

Below him, he started to see the stairs lightening up. With each step down, the space around them became brighter. The stairs ended and then they were walking down a corridor. There were sconces on the walls. The light looked to be coming from ahead of them. Remus looked around Hermione and saw an open doorway ahead.

When Hermione entered the room after Dumbledore, he heard her gasp. When he entered, he saw why.

They were in a room about the size of the Great Hall. Everywhere he looked, there was gold, silver, jewels. Goblets, platters, suits of armor, swords, all of it made in either silver or gold with inlaid jewels of every color. Tapestries that looked to be centuries old adorned the walls, clothes dating back five hundred years, piles of coins.

"What is all this?" Hermione asked in awe.

"A collection," Dumbledore replied. "It's all very old, and very valuable. Things I've found, things Headmasters before me have found. These coins," he waved at the piles of gold, silver, and bronze, "are from the earliest time of when they had to be hand-made. Today, they have machines to do these things. I really need to go through and sort them, for about ten centuries are thrown together in there."

Remus approached four paintings at the back wall. Obviously, it was the four founders but they looked different than the other paintings in the castle. These ones didn't move.

Dumbledore sidled up next to him and eyed the paintings.

"These were done back before they knew to do charms to make them move," he said. "The charms were invented in the fourteenth century."

"They look different than the moving ones up in the school," Remus replied, eyeing Rowena Ravenclaw, who had to be one of the most beautiful women he'd ever seen. Her skin was pure white, her hair was raven black, and her lips were bright red. Her dark blue eyes held an intelligence within, even though they didn't move.

"These are the only accurate portraits of the Founders," Dumbledore replied. "We had them up in the school, but in the sixteenth century children were beginning to wonder why the paintings didn't move. We took them down for fear of them being ruined."

"So this is what they really looked like?"

Dumbledore nodded.

Slytherin looked very much the same, only his eyes were smaller than the other portraits around the castle. His face was monkey-ish, his hair was long and grizzled. And he had a disagreeable look on his face, as though he smelt something unpleasant.

Hufflepuff looked to be caught mid-laugh. She was a little round, with apple cheeks and merry brown eyes. She had curly brownish-blond hair with a crooked circlet that Remus could just imagine her absently putting back into place, only to have it slide sideways again.

Gryffindor had a look about him like he was about to perform some serious mischief. Remus remembered seeing that look on Sirius's face before mayhem was about to break loose. Remus and James had named it, 'The Shit-Eating Grin.'

"You know," said Hermione, coming up on Remus's other side. "You kind of look like him."

"I do not," Remus scoffed.

Hermione looked at him sideways and then back at the painting. "Yes you do. If you grew your hair out and didn't shave for say, a month, you'd look quite a bit like that. Not identical, or anything, but close. You even have the same eyes."

Remus looked and saw tawny eyes grinning back at him. They were his exact color.

"And I bet that you've had that same look on your face a few times," Hermione continued.

"No, that would be Sirius," Remus said with a shake of his head.

"Actually, I remember that look on your face Remus," Dumbledore said. Remus looked at him curiously.

"Really? When?"

"Your sixth year," Dumbledore replied with a slight smirk. "I believe you, Mr. Black, and Mr. Potter went on a, what was it called? A 'panty-raid'?"

Remus blanched as Hermione snickered.

"Did he really?" she asked.

"Oh, yes," Dumbledore continued in a conspiratorial voice as Remus flushed. "They snuck into the Slytherin dormitory and stole quite a bit, then covered the Entrance Halls walls with many a young girl's under-clothes."

"You knew it was us?" Remus said in a choked voice.

"I did," Dumbledore replied, looking back up at Gryffindor. "I didn't punish you because no one was hurt and the articles of clothing were given back. Well, the girls retrieved them from the walls at any rate."

Hermione's snickers grew to full belly-laughs.

"I can't imagine you doing that!" she giggled.

"I was conned," Remus replied with a sniff.

"Conned? With what?"

"Do you really think I'm going to tell you that?"

She eyed him for a moment, her cheeks pink from laughter, and shook her head.

"Nope," she said. "And I don't think I want to know."

"Alright," Dumbledore said. "Come with me."

They followed him to a large cabinet. The doors were made of glass and within were shelves of jewelry. Dumbledore opened the doors and pulled out a shelf. He set it on an old table with a bowl full of rubies and gestured to what looked to be about fifty rings.

"Pick one, both of you," he said, looking between Remus and Hermione. "And have them as your wedding rings."

There was a quick inhalation from Hermione and Remus looked at Dumbledore as if he'd gone mad.

"You can't be serious," he said, looking back at the rings. Gold ones, silver ones, jeweled ones. So many, all were priceless.

"Oh, I am," Dumbledore said cheerfully. "You two didn't choose this life. It's being forced on you, both of you. This is the least I can do. Please, pick one. Consider it my wedding gift to the both of you."

He looked so sincere. Remus sighed and looked at the rings. How could he accept something like this? Hermione seemed to be thinking the same thing. She looked unsure as she looked at the neat rows on rings.

"I don't know…" she whispered.

"Please," Dumbledore said softly.

Hermione looked at him, then up at Remus. They shrugged at the same time and bent over the rings.

"This side," Dumbledore pointed to the left, "is for men. The opposite is for women."

Remus looked through the rows, waiting for something to jump out at him. Hermione didn't seem like a silver person, so he focused on the gold. There were plain gold bands, but he wanted something brighter. It was forever, after all.

There was a pretty gold and sapphire one, but that wasn't quite right. Gold bands with inlaid diamonds, but that didn't feel right either. He skimmed the rows and then something caught his eye.

_There._ It was a gold ring with rubies inlaid around the middle. It wasn't large, or gaudy, but quite elegant. The gold was carved with Celtic symbols around the red stones. He smiled. It was perfect.

Just as he reached forward to pick it up, Hermione reached for one on her side. He didn't look over as plucked it from the shelf. He held it up to the light and it sparkled and winked back at him. This was the one.

He turned to Hermione and stopped when he saw the ring in her palm. It was the masculine version of the ring he had picked for her. It was larger, heavier, and the jewels were a bit bigger, but it was almost exactly the same. It even had the Celtic carvings.

Hermione glanced at the ring in his hand and went still. She slowly looked up into his eyes and he read her confusion. It mirrored his own.

"It looks like you two have the same taste," Dumbledore said cheerfully.

"Do you like it?" she asked, holding up the ring she picked.

"Very much," he replied. "I don't think I'll mind wearing that for the rest of my life."

She looked at the ring he held. "I don't think I'll mind either."

"These have charms on them, so that they'll immediately fit the finger they are put on," Dumbledore said. "Once the wedding takes place, you will not be able to remove them."

Hermione nodded and slipped the men's ring on her thumb, where it shrank to fit her.

"I don't want to lose it," she said when she saw their puzzled faces. Remus slid her ring onto his pinky finger.

"Good idea," he said.

Dumbledore replaced the shelf and they followed him up the stairs. He looked around the room once more, taking it all in, and then followed Hermione up the stairs.


	3. Unexpected

Hermione woke the next morning feeling groggy. She hadn't slept well at all. She had recurring nightmares where she was in the middle of her wedding to Lupin and Death Eaters charged her and took her away while no one did anything to help her.

She dressed and threw her hair into a messy bun, not wanting to deal with it, and grabbed her bag. At the bottom of the stairs were Harry and Ron.

Both were acting awkward. Harry was quiet, looking confused and unsure how to treat her while Ron was glowering. They didn't speak much on the way to breakfast.

The Great Hall was alive with activity, just like it had been for dinner last night. People were all abuzz about the marriage law. So far, Hermione had heard of three other people being married within the month, all of them seventh years and having to leave the school.

Other students in the sixth and seventh years were planning on marrying each other. Now that it was legal, they were jumping at the chance. Rumor had it that there was a wing on the western side of the castle where private rooms for married students was being set up. According to the Hogwarts rules, married students could not sleep in the dormitory with the other students.

The trio walked past the buzzing tables unnoticed. _If they only knew_, Hermione thought wryly. If they knew she was marrying a teacher, all eyes would be focused on her right now.

Hermione chewed on a piece of toast idly as she thought about the Order. Dumbledore was calling an emergency meeting tonight at Grimmauld Place. He had invited Hermione and Lupin, but both had declined. She really didn't want to be there when everyone heard. Molly Weasley would most likely explode.

The tell-tale rustling took place above their heads and the owls came in with the mail. It was then that Hermione remembered that she hadn't read the paper the previous day. She sighed. If there had been any other big news, she would have heard about it.

The tawny owl with her newspaper landed. She gave it the payment and it took off, but another took its place. Panic set in, making her eye the owl with the letter clamped in its beak. She didn't think she'd be getting any more petitions because her impending marriage was on record. Maybe no one knew yet…

She took the letter with shaking hands and the owl left, knocking over her juice. She didn't notice, however, because the Ministry seal captured her attention right away. Could it be another petition? Curious of which Death Eaters had asked for her, for she hadn't opened any the day before, she slit the letter open and read. She almost dropped the letter.

It wasn't a petition.

_ Dear Miss Hermione Granger,_

_ This is an official letter from the Ministry with a few regulations regarding your marriage. Because this marriage was made through a petition as a result of the Marriage Act, you are therefore marrying for the procreation of our race. To ensure pregnancy within a timely manner, you are required to have intercourse at a minimum of once a week with your spouse. _

_ Intercourse with anyone but your spouse is prohibited._

_ Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!_

_ Sophia Lemark_

_ Marriage Act Registration Office_

_ This is an automated response from the accepted marriage petition. Please do not respond._

Hermione stared at the letter with horror. Once a week?

Pregnancy? So soon?

She refused. They would do a contraceptive potion or something. There was no way she was getting pregnant before she graduated.

Hesitantly, she looked at the teacher's table. Lupin had just received his letter and was opening it. How would he react? Would he feel nauseous, like her?

He unfurled the letter with a frown and she watched as he took a sip of tea. He almost immediately choked. He dropped his teacup and finished the letter, his cheeks blushing, and then looked at her.

Immediately, they looked away.

"What's that?" Ginny asked. Hermione stuffed the letter into her bag.

"Nothing," she replied, pushing herself to her feet.

Ginny gave her an odd look but didn't inquire any further. Harry and Ron walked with her to Defense, all of them holding an uncomfortable silence.

Oh, God. She had to take class from him. She slowed. How was she supposed to look at him? She walked up to the closed door and slumped against the wall. She knew the next hour and a half was going to be very awkward.

Lupin opened the door from the inside and gestured everyone in. Hermione stared at the floor and followed Harry's shoes. When she saw him heading toward the three front desks that they always sat in, Hermione groaned inwardly. This was not her day.

She sat between Harry, who was eyeing Lupin with uncertainty, and Ron, who was eyeing Lupin with hatred. Lupin, however, was facing away from the class, picking something up from his desk. It was a squishy little ball that Hermione noticed he sometimes squeezed as he spoke. It was a form of tension release.

When he turned finally turned around, he looked about ready to say something. But then his eyes found Hermione, sitting right in the front with a bright pink face, and the words didn't come. He shrugged and said, "Study hall. Use your time wisely to finish any homework from other classes. We're ahead of our schedule anyway, so finish any un-finished homework."

"Unless you're Hermione," Seamus snickered. Hermione's heart stopped and she whipped around to stare at the boy.

"What?" Lupin snapped. Seamus's humor died from his eyes.

"Well," he said hesitantly. "She always has her homework done the night it's assigned. So she'll have an hour and half to do nothing."

Hermione smiled faintly and Lupin's shoulders lost their hostile rigidity.

"Get to work, and no talking," Lupin said, going to his desk.

Hermione was actually quite grateful for the study time, for she hadn't done one bit of homework the night before. She'd been too distraught.

She pulled out her Transfiguration homework and forced herself to focus. She had it done in fifteen minutes. She tucked it away in an orderly fashion, and pulled out Arithmancy. That should hold her for a while.

It took her half an hour.

She was done.

She looked sideways and saw that Harry was only halfway through Transfiguration and Ron hadn't done anything.

She put away her work and sat quietly. She tried not to look at her future husband, but he was directly in front of her and only ten feet away. Before she knew it, she had her head in her hand and was watching him.

He appeared to be working on some essays. She watched his hands. She had always appreciated large hands. They seemed more comforting in a way, as though they would hold onto you if you ever needed it. They weren't exactly elegant, but the fingers were long and she could see calluses from where he held his quill. On his left pinky was the ring that he would be putting on her hand tomorrow. It glittered in the light merrily.

He was wearing his teaching robes, and they still appeared a bit too large. He had broad shoulders and they filled the robes quite nicely. His neck was hidden by the collar, but she could see his square jaw and firm mouth. He had a full lower lip and Hermione had a vision of taking that full lip between her teeth. It was gone as soon as it came, leaving her very confused. Would he even want to kiss her? She wasn't sure if she wanted to kiss him…It seemed so personal somehow. But then, they'd be sleeping together every week and you didn't get much more personal than that.

His eyes were focused on the paper before him and a slight frown creased the skin between his eyebrows. Yet again she was shocked by her emotions when she had the sudden urge to smooth that frown away.

What the hell?

His eyes suddenly snapped up and met hers. She wanted to look away, she really did, but the golden orbs seemed to grab her attention and not let go. The frown lines eased slightly. He gave her a reassuring smile and a nod before going back to his essays.

Ron bristled next to her.

She liked Ron, so much, but would they have been happy married? Would they have gotten along? Probably not. She would have been controlling and he would have resented that. He was too immature. Perhaps it's not love that she feels for him. Maybe it's just a silly crush. She hasn't had too many of those, so she couldn't be sure.

The bell rang. Where had the time gone? Why was it that the moment your life takes a serious turn, time speeds up to force what you're facing upon you?

Everyone around her stood up and put their things away as she grabbed her bag.

"Miss Granger?" Lupin's voice rang over the tumult. She looked up at him. "A word, please?"

She nodded and waved the boys on. Ron looked about ready to stand there glower at them while he waited, but Harry pulled him away. Lupin waited until the room was empty before he waved his wand at the door and shut it.

"This is about the letter, isn't it?" she asked. He nodded.

"I want you to know that there are ways of making it as quick as possible," he said lowly. It amused her that his cheeks were starting to turn pink. He didn't look at her; instead he looked around the class as he leaned back onto his desk.

"I know," she replied, trying to sound mature when all she wanted to do was hide her face and sink into the floor. "Certain potions and such. I can make them, if you'd prefer not to go to Snape. I'm going to be making contraceptive potions anyway."

He looked obviously relieved about that. "You don't mind making it for me? I'm rather horrible at potions," he said with a sheepish grin.

"I don't mind at all," she replied. He cocked his head and regarded her. She suppressed the urge to shuffle her feet.

"That doesn't seem very fair to you," he finally said.

"What do you mean?" she asked curiously.

His cheeks darkened further, the blush now spreading to the visible top of his neck. "Well, I get to, ah, reach…full achievement once a week and you get…nothing. It hardly seems fair."

Now she was blushing like mad. She bit her lips shut and looked at the ceiling, unsure of what to say. She really didn't want to tell him she was a virgin, but he might like to know. To be honest, she hadn't done that much kissing either.

She coughed delicately, not removing her eyes from the ceiling, and said, "You should know, erm, that I…ah…well…I've never…that is to say…"

"You're a virgin," he said hollowly. She nodded. He cursed, quite colorfully too, and began to pace.

"I'm sorry-"

"No," he said, stopping before her and smiling weakly. "That's a perfectly good thing. For you, I mean. I've just never…not with a virgin…God, this gets more and more difficult."

He began to pace again, looking supremely agitated. Yet again, she didn't know what to do. She felt guilty. He was marrying her to save her, and yet things just got more and more uncomfortable. She was seventeen, she was his student, she was a virgin.

"It doesn't change anything," she said reassuringly. "You can still do the potion. This isn't about the, ah…sex anyway. It's just to keep me safe. I don't mind, really."

He smiled softly and her stomach felt as though a swarm of butterflies had been let loose in it.

"I still don't think it's fair," he said. "How about this; after we…fulfill the contract every week, I give you a shoulder rub? I don't want you to walk away with nothing."

She brightened at the thought. Her back always seemed to ache because she had so many books and was constantly crouched over her homework.

"I like that idea," she said cheerfully.

"Good," he replied. "Now I don't feel like such a letch. I'll write you a note to give to Flitwick," he said, pulling a piece of parchment over. "You're already late for Charms."

"This is very sweet of you," she said. He gave her a confused frown. "Not the note, the massage. It's nice of you to do that for me, especially when it's not necessary."

He shrugged as if it was no big thing and finished the note. Feeling slightly adventurous, maybe to show that she wasn't afraid of him, she leaned over to kiss his cheek. Unfortunately, he turned at the last moment to give her the note and instead of her lips meeting his cheek, they met his mouth.

Both went rigid. She was too shocked to pull away and that shock grew when he didn't pull away either. His eyes were huge. She could tell, for they were centimeters from hers. Her heart pounded behind her ribs and she couldn't breathe.

His lips were soft. She wasn't sure what she'd been expecting, but soft lips never entered her mind.

Finally her wits returned to her and she pulled back slightly.

"I meant for your cheek," she said quickly. "I didn't mean-"

But he cut her off by leaning forward and kissing her again. This time he was not still. It wasn't just a meeting of lips. He was gentle, but forceful, as he molded his lips over hers. Her immediate thought was to push him back but her arms wouldn't work properly. Instead of shoving him away, her hands moved to his chest and rested there as melted into him. His strong hands, which she had been admiring during class, softly touched her waist and then slid up to her shoulder blades. He leaned backward into the desk, pulling her with him so that she was putting more of her weight into his chest.

His lips played over hers, causing delicious little shivers to travel down her spine. One of his hands snaked to the nape of her neck and massaged the muscles there, causing her to moan into his mouth. She arched into his hand, luxuriating in his caresses.

All of a sudden, he thrust her at arm's length. "You should go," he rasped. His lips were puffy and red from kissing her and his eyes held a fire that she didn't understand. Her body ached in a way it never had before. She didn't want to stop.

"Sure," she replied before gripping his neck and pulling him back to her. His lips opened on a gasp and she slid her tongue into his mouth. She'd never tried this kind of kissing before and she berated herself for it. No one should miss this kind of feeling.

His mouth was slick and his tongue wrapped around hers. They groaned together and he pulled her closer. It wasn't close enough. She wanted to be wrapped in his skin, she wanted to breathe from his lungs.

She didn't understand these feelings. At the moment, she didn't care. All she knew was if he stopped kissing her, bad things would happen. Instead of focusing on what those bad things would be, she kissed him harder.

It wasn't enough…she needed something else, but she didn't know what. Lupin seemed to get a hold of his senses again and thrust her away at arm's length.

"No," he said, closing his eyes. "Go. Class. You're late."

"But-"

"No," he said sternly. He opened his eyes and regarded her. "Go to class, Hermione."

She tried to calm her body, bring it back into check, but she didn't know how. She didn't understand. Instead, she stepped back and grabbed her bag. She turned away and marched between the rows of desks and left without looking back. He had, if not started it, continued it. He didn't have to kiss her again. But he did. Why?


	4. The Wedding

After spending a sleepless night staring at the ceiling above his bed and wondering what the hell he'd been thinking when he'd kissed Hermione Granger, Remus still had no conclusion.

It had been an accident at first, he could admit that. Hermione had not meant to kiss him. He had practically tasted her surprise. Perhaps that was it – her taste. Even with her lips closed, he had tasted her in his mouth. It had been glorious. No other woman had tasted too sweet, so pure, like Hermione.

But that wasn't enough for him to completely lose his head like he did.

Maybe it was her smell. She didn't cover herself with perfumes like every other female in Hogwarts. With his heightened sense of smell, it could be nauseating at times. But Hermione…she smelled natural, earthy, and it had hit a certain spot within his brain that had sent him into primal mode. As he'd continued to kiss her, another smell reached his nose – female arousal. She'd become aroused by him and it had inflamed his animal urges.

He was in such turmoil that he didn't sleep one bit. He hated that he had lost control of himself, especially with Hermione. He always had power over himself, with everything he did. How could one girl have him go completely animalistic? He had wanted to consume her. He wanted her taste in his mouth, her scent on his body. He'd wanted to take, take, _take._ This was not normal behavior for Remus. Women never affected him on such a level.

_Tap, tap, tap._

Remus inhaled and listened. What was that?

_Tap. Taptaptaptaptap._

Was that…was someone knocking on the portrait to his rooms? He launched out of his bed and went into his sitting room, staring at the door.

_Taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap._

"Alright!" he called, moving to the doorway. He eased it open and stared with raised eyebrows at the crowd before him.

All the male Weasleys, with the exception of Charlie and Percy, accompanied by Harry stood in the hall.

"Yes?" Remus asked tonelessly.

"Mate," Harry said, looking torn between excited and hesitant. "You're getting married in a few hours."

"I know, Harry," Remus replied cautiously. What did they want?

"We're here to give you company in the meantime," Arthur said gently, giving him a look that told him this man knew almost exactly what he was feeling.

"Come on in," Remus said, stepping back from the door.

The men followed him into his private rooms. Fred and George flopped onto his couch and set a fire in the grate.

"Shouldn't you be at your shop?" Remus asked them, settling himself into an armchair.

"We're taking the day off," George said cheerfully, stacking his hands behind his head.

"It's not every day something this important takes place," Fred said seriously, settling his feet on the coffee table.

Remus sighed. At least he had something to divert his attention from his impending marriage.

"So Remus," Harry said, glancing around the room. "What are you wearing to the ceremony?"

"I have dress robes," Remus said with a yawn. The lack of sleep was going to kill him. "They're hanging up in my room."

Fred immediately hopped up from the couch and went to investigate. Remus had no energy to stop him. As long as he didn't do anything to them, it was fine.

Arthur meandered over and sat in the chair next Remus. He gave him a warm look.

"Nervous?" he asked softly.

"A little," Remus admitted.

"It's a mighty fine thing you're doing for Hermione," Arthur said, giving his shoulder a squeeze.

"You need to gain some weight, mate," George said, eyeing Remus's naked torso.

"I'm working on it," Remus replied defensively. "After years of learning to eat as little as possible it's going to take a bit."

He'd gained twenty pounds since returning to Hogwarts, but it still wasn't enough to make him look healthy. He just didn't like to eat too much.

"Damn!" Fred exclaimed from the other room. Six heads turned to the bedroom door. "These are quite spiffy!"

Fred emerged from the bedroom holding the hanger with Remus's dress robes.

"Are they new?" Harry asked, standing up and taking a closer look.

"No," Remus replied. "They just look nice because I haven't taken them out of the bag in years."

Harry fingered the navy blue material lightly. "When did you last wear them?"

"Actually, I believe it was your parent's wedding," Remus said, causing laughter from the men surrounding them. All except one.

"So," Ron said. "That would be before Hermione was even born."

The room went quiet and Remus rubbed the bridge of his nose. He was not in the mood to deal with love-sick teenagers.

"Harry, Ron," Arthur said suddenly. "Why don't you go to the kitchens and get us some food and drinks?"

Harry, understanding immediately, nodded and pulled Ron out after him. Ron didn't look too happy, but he didn't fight it either. Remus decided to omit the fact that he had a special piece of parchment that was connected directly to the kitchens. He only had to write what he wanted and it appeared within moments. Once the door shut behind them, Arthur sighed.

"I'm sorry, Remus," he said sadly. "Ron's always had a bit of a yen for Hermione."

"I know," Remus replied, letting his head fall back and covering his face with his hands. "That only makes this even worse, and it's not a great situation to begin with."

"You could do worse than Hermione," Bill said, flopping down next to George. Fred took Remus's dress robes back into his room and returned to sit next to his twin.

"Sure, she's bossy and a know-it-all," George said sagely. "But she's mighty fun to look at."

"I've always loved her hair," Fred chirped. "It's all wild and crazy. It's the kind of hair you want to grip in your fingers."

"And she isn't stupid," Bill added. "She's has to be the smartest witch I've ever met."

"And she has those huge brown eyes!" Fred exclaimed. "You could get lost in them!"

"And she's so neat," George said. "Whenever she stayed at our house, her things were always put away in perfect little rows. At least she isn't a slob."

"Why aren't one of you marrying her again?" Remus asked bemusedly. Fred and George frowned at each other.

"You know, that's a valid question," Fred said.

"We should take it up with Dumbledore," George replied.

"Boys," Arthur said tiredly. "Stop being irritating."

"That's like asking the sun not to shine," Bill quipped.

"If you're all trying to distract me," Remus interrupted. "It's not working."

"What's got you so nervous?" George asked.

Remus rubbed his hands over his face once more and pushed himself to his feet. "I thought it was going to a marriage in name only," he said, pacing in front of the hearth. "I thought I'd keep her safe. But now I'm getting letters from the Ministry telling me…"

He stopped. He wasn't sure he wanted to give the twins this kind of ammunition.

"It's only sex, Remus," Bill said. Remus stopped and turned to the other man.

"Only sex?" he repeated. "She's seventeen years old! I've known her since she was thirteen! I'm over twice her age! Doesn't that seem a little odd to you?"

"In my opinion," Bill said wisely. "You're thinking too much."

"I agree," Fred said magnanimously. "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth."

"You people are insane!" Remus snapped.

"It doesn't mean anything," Arthur said reasonably. "You both are adults and can treat the situation with maturity."

Remus decided to just remain silent. Hermione's virginity was her own business. He wasn't going to talk about it. But Gods he wished he could ask for some advice.

He felt completely out of his depth. How could he possible just tear apart her innocence and walk away? It was completely unfair to her, plus he wasn't sure he'd be able to walk away. After tasting her kiss, he couldn't help but wonder – how would the rest of her taste?

Harry and Ron reappeared right about then and conversation was steered to Quidditch. Remus didn't talk much, for his stomach was starting to roll.

* * *

Hermione stood outside of McGonagall's office door, wondering what the hell the woman wanted. Hermione was in an irritable mood, for she hadn't slept at all. She'd tossed and turned all night, thinking about the wedding, the wedding night, and the kiss… She tried to think of other things, she really did, but her brain wouldn't cooperate. She'd find herself thinking back to those soft lips on hers, those rough hands on her back…

She was so dumb. It was only a kiss.

The previous afternoon she'd spent a few hours in the Potions lab, hoping the work would help clear her mind. Having to explain to Snape why she needed his classroom after school was out for the day had been utterly mortifying.

He'd looked down his large nose at her, enjoying her discomfort, as she'd stammered about contraceptive potions. To her complete astonishment, he'd not argued with her. Instead he'd waved a hand into the room and stalked into his office. He'd kept the door open, making brewing the second potion, the one for Lupin, a little tricky because she didn't want Snape to know she was making it, but he'd never once come to check on her. She'd cleaned up her worktable and hid the potions in her bag and approached the doorway hesitantly.

"Professor?" she asked in a small voice.

"What do you want now, Miss Granger?" he asked in irritation, never once looking up from the essays he was grading.

"Might I, uh, be able to perhaps use the classroom to brew potions after school hours once a week?" she had inquired while blushing bright red. He looked up and raised an eyebrow.

"So often?" he asked innocently, giving her no doubt that he was enjoying tormenting her.

"The Ministry has told us, that is to say that we're under the law to – I mean we can't-"

"You may, Miss Granger," he said, waving his hand once more at her to leave.

So she had her potions hidden up in her room in the drawer of her nightstand. She'd already taken the contraceptive potion because it lasted twenty-four hours and she didn't want to forget. She'd grab the one for Lupin before the wedding ceremony and ask Ginny to hide it in her pocket for her.

Parvati and Lavender had gone into Hogsmeade that morning, chatting away about the Halloween dance and what they should wear. So far, Hermione had just heard rumors about the dance. Chances were one wouldn't be taking place.

She had wanted to lie in bed a little longer this morning, just enjoy the quiet of the empty room, but an elf appeared with a note from McGonagall asking her to come to her office and bring her dress robes.

So there she was. Her periwinkle blue robes in one hand and the other placed on her hip. She was really not in the mood for this.

She knocked on the door and it flew open. Before Hermione had any idea what was happening, hands reached out and pulled her inside. Strange noises, like squealing, surrounded her. Was she being attacked? The hands tightened around her arms. Was she being kidnapped? Had the Death Eaters found a way to get her?

She shoved the hands off and looked around. No Death Eaters. But from the looks on the faces of the females before her, she thought she might have a better time with the Death Eaters.

"Hermione!" Ginny exclaimed. "This is so exciting! We're here to get you ready! Why didn't you tell me you were getting married? I couldn't believe-"

"Don't smother the girl, Ginny," Mrs. Weasley chided. She turned her cheerful face to Hermione. "Come in and sit, dear."

"Wotcher, Hermione," Tonks yawned. "I didn't find out about this until last night, and there was a unanimous vote that we should be here."

"She needs support!" McGonagall said imperiously. "This is a big day for her."

"Really, this isn't necessary," Hermione said quickly. "I was just going to throw my robes on and-"

"Nonsense," Mrs. Weasley scoffed. "There will be no throwing."

"Unless Lupin gets a little rough," Ginny snickered.

"Ginevra Weasley!" Mrs. Weasley gasped, looking scandalized. Ginny just rolled her eyes and smirked at Hermione.

"Sit," McGonagall said, pushing her into a chair before the large desk. She tugged the blue robes from Hermione's hand and hung them on a hanger, sizing them up. "These are lovely, my dear, but I'm going to change them up a bit. Nothing that can't be put back, mind."

Hermione was about to protest, not seeing the point, but Ginny suddenly was behind her and forced her head to look straight forward.

"Up, I think," she said. "Don't you think so, Mum?"

"Oh yes," Mrs. Weasley replied. "Do one of those twisty things, I love those. It will make her neck look lovely."

"What about a cascade?" Ginny supplied. "She has enough hair and with the curls, it'll look fabulous. What do you think, Tonks?"

"Oh no," Tonks said raising her hands up before her. "I'm not offering any advice on hair or make-up or whatnot. I'm here for the food."

Hermione snickered as Ginny pulled her hair back. She sat silently as the girl tugged and twisted, trying to manage her hair. She decided, just for the sake of peace, she'd let them do whatever they wanted. If she didn't like it, she'd change it.

"I must say, Hermione," Mrs. Weasley said. "You look unusually calm for a girl about to get married. I was terrified on my day."

"Well, I'm sure you just had more time to get nervous," Hermione replied. "I've only had two days."

"You're not nervous for tonight?" Tonks asked, cocking her head to the side.

"Erm, well maybe but it's really not-"

"Remus knows what he's doing," Mrs. Weasley interrupted with a nod. "A man of his age, he should have a lot of experience."

"He's never been with a virgin before," Hermione said quietly. She decided not to tell them that they were going to use the potion to make it as quick as possible. For some reason, she thought that it would be lost on this crowd.

"You're a virgin?" Tonks said incredulously. Hermione nodded. "Wow. I lost mine when I was fifteen."

"I'm still a virgin," Ginny said cheerfully.

"I'm glad to hear that," Mrs. Weasley said, giving her daughter a bright smile.

"You both are making me feel like a slut," Tonks said petulantly.

"From what you've said on occasion, you kind of are one," Ginny said. Tonks made a rude hand gesture, much to Molly's chagrin, and Ginny stuck her tongue out at her.

"There's only one bit of advice for virgins, dear," Mrs. Weasley said gently, taking Hermione's hand. "Relax and breathe, and just remember that the second time is always better than the first."

"At least you'll have good visuals," said Tonks with another yawn as she reached for a cookie on McGonagall's desk.

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked.

"I've seen the man almost naked," Tonks said conspiratorially. Ginny made a noise of interest. Molly looked heavenward as though asking for patience, but she didn't put a stop to the conversation. Did Hermione really want to hear this? "I barged in on him as he was getting out of the shower. I guess he forgot to lock the door."

"And?" Ginny asked, pulling a bit more of Hermione's hair back.

"The man's got no fat anywhere," Tonks said. "He's one of those people that just had natural muscles. He had a towel covering his bits, sad day, but I got to see the rest of him. He's got scars and such, but _man!_ You could do laundry on his abs!"

"He's lost a bit of weight since then, though," Hermione said.

"He's gaining it back," McGonagall replied. "He just needs solid meals, which he's getting here at Hogwarts."

"So you're marrying a nice, hot, experienced older man with washboard abs and a nice paycheck," Tonks said, ticking Lupin's attributes off her fingers. "Wanna trade places?"

Hermione giggled and then winced as Ginny jabbed a pin into her skull. The next few hours were quite enjoyable. Tonks was more than happy to tell some of her sexual exploits, making Hermione and Ginny laugh while Mrs. Weasley and McGonagall rolled their eyes.

Ginny tried to talk Hermione into make-up, but Hermione refused. Tonks said that was smart because it would just get smudged and ruined later, making Hermione blush.

When McGonagall finally finished on her dress and showed it to Hermione, she was lost for words.

The robes were no longer blue, and no longer really robes. It was a wedding dress, pure and simple, but one of the most beautiful things Hermione had ever seen.

"You didn't have to-"

"This is a terrible situation you and Remus are in," McGonagall said softly, standing next to Hermione and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "I want to make the best of it. So you'll wear this, you'll look beautiful, and you'll have as real to a wedding as we can get."

Hermione's eyes filled with tears and Mrs. Weasley offered her a handkerchief. No one stopped her when she collapsed into a chair and burst into tears. What she was crying about – the wedding, the dress, her life – she wasn't sure. But it felt good to cry it out anyway.

* * *

The wedding was to take place at four-thirty in some room in the western part of the castle. Hermione had never even heard of it before. She followed Mrs. Weasley, who somehow knew the way, while arm and arm with Ginny.

She still couldn't quite get over her dress. It was pure white, with a low neckline and long sleeves that came to a point in her middle knuckle. The waist was corseted, making her appear to have hips, which she really didn't, and the skirt was full and fell all the way to the floor, even though Hermione was wearing heels. She wanted to appear taller, especially since Lupin was a good ten inches taller than her in her bare feet.

"The ceremony is quite exhausting," Mrs. Weasley said from in front of her.

"Why's that?" Hermione asked.

"All the spells and magic being woven into the pair of you," she replied airily. "The fidelity charms, and the bonding spell. That one is the worst, believe me. At first after the wedding it's really a nuisance, but you'll get used to it."

"Why is it-"

"Here we are!" Mrs. Weasley said brightly. They were outside a pair of white double doors that had to be at least twelve feet tell. "Let's go!"

Hermione suddenly felt faint. She didn't want to go in there. She didn't want to get married. She had a life that she was supposed to live, and this wasn't it. If she ran would she have enough of a head start? Would she be able to hide herself and never be found? If she put her mind to it…

She began to shake, but Ginny and Mrs. Weasley had already gone inside. Tonks turned to her with a grin but saw how pale Hermione had become.

"Now, none of that, missy," she said, walking up to Hermione and grasping her shoulders. "I know you want to run. I know you don't want this, but if you don't go in there and marry that nice man, you're fate's worse than death. Between the two, being a weapon of mass destruction or marrying a guy with a killer body, I'd say the answer is obvious. Yes, it's forever. But there are worse fates."

"But there's a potion! In my room! I have to go get it!" _And run like hell_, she thought silently.

"Sure there is," Tonks said with a roll of her eyes. "You can get your 'potion' afterward."

"But-"

"After, Hermione Granger," Tonks said sternly. She gripped Hermione's shoulders and steered her to the door. "Now march!"

Hermione stuttered a bit more, but the grip Tonks had on her was tight. Once inside, she shut the door behind them.

Hermione stopped in her tracks and stared around the room in awe, momentarily forgetting her fears. The whole back wall was stained glass. There wasn't any real design to it, just huge blocks of colored glass that looked like they had been thrown up on the wall at random. Late afternoon sunlight shown through it, making the room appear dim with the exception of the bright glass wall and the colored reflections on the white marble floor.

There was no furniture in the room. The walls were white and candles were floating around the people milling about, including the Weasleys, Harry, McGonagall, Flitwick, Dumbledore, Snape, and a short man she didn't know.

Nervously, she looked for Remus and almost missed him completely. She would have if he hadn't turned and saw her and gone still. He was standing next to the short man in front of the stained glass, and he looked amazing. His hair was combed back from his face and with the light coming from the glass the planes and edges of his face were thrown into sharp relief. His golden eyes seemed to glow as they wandered over her, taking in her dress.

Her own eyes took in the sight of him. He was wearing beautiful blue robes that showed off his broad shoulders, though they were slightly big on him, as though he'd lost quite a bit of weight since the last time he wore them. There was some sort of thing around his neck, a white piece of cloth, tied in an intricate knot. Why did he always hide it? What was it about his neck that fascinated her?

The people around the room suddenly realized she was there, for she heard small exclamations, but she didn't pay any attention. She was too busy staring at her soon-to-be husband. Tonks was right; he was good enough to eat.

Her hollow stomach clenched. She really should have eaten something. Her palms felt sweaty and her head felt light again, but she didn't want to run this time.

Dumbledore gestured her forward and she joined him, the short man, and Lupin at the back of the room. Everyone went silent. She could hear her heart thumping madly in her chest and she wondered vaguely if she was going to pass out.

"This is Seymour North," Dumbledore said, gesturing to the little man. "He'll be officiating."

Seymour North gave her a cheery grin and she felt mild relief. He was cute, looking between her and Lupin with nothing more than merriment. Obviously, this man loved his job. Dumbledore sidled away to stand by McGonagall.

"Shall we get started?" North asked jovially. Hermione glanced at Lupin and they both nodded at the same time. "Alrighty then. First we'll do the vows, just repeat what I say, and then we'll get into the spellwork. We'll leave the binding spell for last, because it's rather intense for some people. It might not be for you, but better safe than sorry, eh?"

Hermione grinned at the little man, feeling more relaxed from his friendly manner. The vows went by in a blur. Hermione repeated the words she was supposed to, listened to Lupin's baritone voice as he did the same. They were then told to face each other and raise their left hands, palms forward.

Her hand was shaking and it relieved her to see that his was too.

"Take the rings in your right hands," North said. Hermione took the ring from her thumb and smiled as Lupin took her ring from his pinky. "Well those are good places to keep them safe," North said with a jolly smile. Lupin gave her a conspiratorial smirk that sent unwanted heat to her abdomen. She smiled faintly back.

"Now, together, slide them onto the ring finger of each other's left hand," North continued. She moved the ring to Lupin's finger and watched as it resized itself to fit him on the way down. She moved her eyes from watching him put the ring on her, to her own hand putting it on him. Once they were on, perfectly sized, North nodded. "Now clasp left hands."

Lupin placed his hand palm to palm with hers and slid his fingers between her own. She grinned when she realized his hands were sweating too. They held each other's hand and waited.

"Let's begin with the Fidelity Charm," North said. He retrieved his short wand from his pocket and began to move it around their joined hands. Absently, she realized Lupin chewed his fingernails. She felt a sudden heat in her hand and quickly looked at Lupin. He gave her a reassuring smile and squeezed his fingers around hers.

"Now we have the truly rude little spell that Ministry has told me I must do," North said with a pinched look. "I apologize for this." He swished his wand between them, ignoring their startled looks. What was he talking about?

Her insides suddenly felt like they were squirming. She gasped and twitched, but the feeling was gone as soon as it came. Lupin's eyes suddenly got very wide and he grunted slightly. He glared at North, who looked apologetic.

"Sorry," he said. "It's over now."

"You could have bloody warned me," Remus said lowly.

North, suddenly looking like he was trying not to smile, continued, "Now it's to the binding. For a few moments, you'll be sharing energies and magic. Some people lose their breath for a moment, others feel dizzy. Some people don't feel anything at all! So, take a deep breath and let's finish."

Hermione was suddenly nervous. What did he mean, some people felt things while others didn't? What did it mean if you felt something? What did it mean if you didn't? Lupin didn't look worried, however. He watched the little man as he began a serious of complicated wand movements.

He was saying something, a spell, but she couldn't hear it over the sudden rushing in her ears. Her skin prickled and she involuntarily tightened her grip on Lupin. He looked startled, like her. It was getting hard to breathe. It felt like the energy was being squeezed out of her body. Her head felt faint again and she started to sway on her feet. She was going to pass out, she knew it. She needed air, she needed that energy back or she was going to fall.

Suddenly there was an overwhelming surge of power hitting her like a tidal wave. She gasped as all of her nerve-endings tingled throughout her body. Then it was gone, leaving her light-headed and disoriented. Her legs gave out and she fell to her knees at the same time Lupin did, still grasping his hand.

Unconsciously, they leaned into each other for support to stay upright. Her head fell forward and she found her face pressed to his neck as he lowered his head to her shoulder. They were both breathing as if they'd run miles in a matter of minutes.

"Are you alright?" he whispered breathlessly.

She nodded, though she wanted to keel over and go to sleep.

"I now pronounce you man and wife," North said happily. "You," he tapped Lupin on the top of his head, "may kiss the bride."

She wasn't sure she had the energy to move, but everyone was cheering and it was expected. She let her head roll back and she gazed at Lupin, _her husband_, groggily. He smiled dazedly and covered her mouth with his own. It was brief, too brief for Hermione's liking but then again, she was in front of all her friends.

He lifted his head as the cheers got louder. He then moved from his knees to him bum and stretched his legs out before him. Hermione followed, he was still holding her hand, and sat next to him. Her skirt billowed around her, covering part of Lupin's legs as she stretched her own out, showing her white heels. The room around them was clapping and whistling and Hermione grinned sleepily. There was a flash as one of the Weasley twins took a picture.

"Drinks!" the other twin shouted. Soon people were crowded around a table that Hermione hadn't noticed in the back. Neither she nor Lupin got up to go over. That would take too much energy. The floor was perfectly nice. Mr. North walked around from behind them and gave them another cheery grin.

"Congratulations!" he announced. "I haven't seen a power surge like that before in my entire time of marrying couples!"

She shrugged, not sure what to say to that, and looked at Lupin, who didn't appear to be paying attention. Mr. North chuckled and moved over to Dumbledore.

"I could use a nap," Lupin said.

"Me too," Hermione replied. He still had her left hand in his, though the clasped hands were resting on his thigh. Their rings winked in the candle light, for the sun had gone down, making the stained glass go dark.

"Well that was pretty interesting," said Harry, walking over and sitting next to her on the floor. He handed her a drink. She didn't know what it was, but she drank it anyway. Harry was looking at her a bit hesitantly, even more uncomfortable than he had been in the previous few days. She wanted to tell him everything was fine, but she didn't have enough energy to care at the moment. She'd do it later.

Lupin's shoulder looked mighty comfortable. Would he care if she leaned her head on it? She did it anyway. If he cared, he'd shrug her off. His shoulder _was_ comfortable. Before she knew it, her eyes drooped and she fell asleep, right there on the floor in her wedding dress with her head on her husband's shoulder.


	5. The Wedding Night

***WARNING* SEVERE LEMONS AHEAD. I'M TALKING SERIOUS SEX HERE, PEOPLE. IF THAT OFFENDS YOU, PLEASE JUST SKIP OVER IT ONCE IT GETS HEAVY. OTHERWISE, ENJOY!

* * *

**

Remus's head felt fuzzy. It was the after-effects of the binding spell, he knew this, but it was incredibly disorienting. Hermione had fallen asleep on him, much to the amusement of everyone around them. Harry seemed to have set a trend, for most of the people in the room were now seated on the floor with them.

"Those are lovely rings," Mrs. Weasley said. She was still standing but was right next to him. "Where did you get them?"

Remus looked down at his hand, which was still holding Hermione's, and frowned. He could see it in his head, but he couldn't make the words come out. He really _was_ knackered.

"They were a gift from me," Dumbledore answered for him.

People continued to talk around him, but he didn't pay attention. He thought longingly of his bed, up in his room and ready to be slept in. His muscles felt much too weak to support him. He thought he deserved a gold star for being able to sit up and hold up Hermione as well.

Suddenly a twin was kneeling in front of him.

"Have a drink, mate," he said cheerfully. "Special brew for the groom."

Next to him, the other twin was gently waking Hermione up. He handed her a goblet that matched his and she drank without further comment.

"What is it?" Remus asked groggily.

"It'll give you a little bit of energy so that you aren't nodding off in front of us," said one of them, Remus wasn't sure which.

"Lupin," Severus said warningly. "I wouldn't-"

But Remus didn't really process the warning until he'd already started to drink. Unfortunately, he didn't see the evil grin on the twin's face until after he had swallowed. He almost dropped the goblet as he stared at the boy.

"What did you just give us?" he demanded, he awareness suddenly sharpening. The twin, Fred he could now see, gave him an innocent look.

"Nothing," he said sweetly. "Just something to, er, _wake you up._"

No one else was listening to their banter, except Harry who looked confused and Severus who's face was carefully blank.

What the hell was Fred talking about? His mouth held the sweet after-taste of whatever had been in the goblet, but Remus couldn't tell what it was. He should have known better than to trust the damn twins. How bloody tired had he been?

Hermione stretched next to him and he looked over. His eyes were immediately drawn to her cleavage. Remus snapped his eyes away and frowned. He tried again, warily looking over at Hermione just as she looked at him. At the exact same time, their eyes were drawn to each other's mouths.

Remus ripped his eyes away and glared at Fred and George.

"I'm going to kill you," he said lowly. "Both of you."

"Come on, mate," George said, looking a little unsure all of a sudden under fierce look from Remus. "We just wanted to make the night easier for the two of you."

"What-" Hermione began but Remus was already in motion, grabbing Fred and standing up, hauling the twin to his toes. The abandoned goblet rolled away.

"You had no right," he seethed, ignoring the gasps and exclamations around him. "Absolutely no Goddamn right to slip us something in our bloody drinks!"

"You're right," Fred squeaked. "You're right!"

Remus dropped him and raked his hand through his hair.

"What did they do?!" Molly shrieked, glaring at her sons.

"Nothing," Remus muttered, turning to Hermione. She had stood up and had a queer look on her face. She rubbed her abdomen, looking slightly confused. He knew what was wrong. He could feel it too. His abdomen was heating up. Just looking at her was arousing him.

The Weasley twins were dead men.

Severus made an odd sort of snorting sound. Remus realized he was trying, and failing, to suppress laughter. _He_ knew what had been in the drinks.

Hermione's eyes lifted to Remus's and his stomach clenched as those large brown eyes darkened. Wordlessly, he held out his hand to her. She approached him and grasped his offered hand, refusing to look at anyone around them. He could hear Molly demanding what the twins had done and as he and Hermione left the room, he heard her explosion.

"You did WHAT?!" she screamed.

He slammed the door behind them and together, he and Hermione walked away.

"What did they give us?" she asked. "I feel…I don't know but it's…strange…"

"Aphrodisiacs," he muttered. "They knew we weren't too excited for tonight and in some weird, twisted way they thought they were helping."

She didn't speak again as they made their way through the corridors. His body was growing in heat, sending fire to his limbs and crotch. He led her to his rooms and outside, he stopped. Hermione was breathing deeply, probably trying to get her body under control. With each inhalation, her chest pressed against the front of her gown.

He groaned and lost control, yet again. He seized her and hauled her up into his arms and took her mouth fiercely. She didn't protest; indeed she wrapped her arms around his neck and let him take. He forgot they were in the hallway. He forgot they might be seen by someone.

He didn't think about anything at all as he pressed her back against the wall and plundered her mouth. She tasted so good…He ran his tongue over her teeth and inside her cheeks. Mindlessly he grazed his hands over her gown, hating all the fabric in the way. She groaned and pulled him closer, taking as much as she gave.

"Room," he gasped between kisses. "Must get into room."

She nodded but didn't release him. Pulling her up in his arms as he looked at the portrait guarding his door, a group of old men playing chess, he barked, "Open!" The old men gave him reproachful looks for his impoliteness, but the portrait swung open.

Remus carried her inside and set her on her feet.

"Please tell me," he said, pausing to crush his mouth to hers again, "that you have that potion."

Her response was delayed, as his mouth was determined not to release hers.

When he finally let her up for air she replied, "It's in my room." She tugged his head back down and kissed him roughly. "I forgot to grab it. I thought I'd have time," she said against his lips.

"Bad," he groaned. "Very bad."

"Why is that bad?" she asked, tilting her head back as he ran his mouth over her neck.

"Because now I have to take you," he murmured. "And I'm not in my right mind."

He was starting to lose awareness the longer he put it off. He was mindless, pulling her as close as possible and tasting her neck, her chest, her cheeks.

"I'm not either," she moaned. "Please, we'll do the potion next time."

Her hands threaded through his hair and she held him to her neck. He ran his tongue along the artery there and nibbled in the spot where the neck and shoulder joined and she sighed. His hands found the back of her dress and he paused when he didn't feel any buttons.

Standing up abruptly, he turned her around to face away from him. Laces. The back of her dress was made up of laces. He cursed and pulled on the bow at the bottom of her back, ripping the ribbon apart. She gasped and arched, resting her hands on the back of his couch. He tore at the laces, promising her he'd fix them later. Her dress gaped open in the back, revealing the clasp of a plain white bra.

His ferocity decreased somewhat, helped by his deep breaths. He slid his hands around her middle and pulled her upright so that her back was flush up against his chest. She grasped his hands and wriggled, unable to contain her arousal as easily as he had, and it hadn't been easy for him.

"Sshhhh," he whispered. "Breathe."

She tried to do as he said while he slid his hands into the shoulders of her gown, easing them off over her arms. She helped him, tugging her hands free of the sleeves. The sight of her plain white bra made him smile. So very Hermione. Simple, serviceable underwear. She didn't need extravagance. She was magnificent without it.

Her skin was milky-white and unblemished. Her flat stomach moved with each deep breath and he could see goose bumps forming on her skin, though it was not cold in his rooms. He eased the rest of the gown over her hips, revealing matching white underwear. Shivering and leaning back into him, she grasped his hands and brought them to her abdomen. His control snapped again. He could almost hear the crack within his mind.

He gripped her hips and spun her around. With graceful fluidity, she slid her hands once more around his neck. He reached under her bum, lifting her up and she automatically wrapped her legs around his waist as he sat her on the back of the couch, unashamed in her near-nakedness. Her legs cradled his hips and his arousal was flush up against hers.

He rolled his hips into her and she jerked, making a whimpering noise in her throat. Her hands slid under his out robe and shoved it from his shoulders. She unlocked her legs from around him long enough to let it fall to the floor before they resumed their place around his hips.

He crashed his mouth onto hers and pulled her closer to him. He was wild, completely without any thought other than to consume her. She appeared to be likewise, gripping the coat he still wore as if it were an anchor as her tongue battled with his.

He picked her up again and went in the general direction of his bedroom. She tugged at his coat, pushing it off his shoulders. He set her back against the doorframe, propping her up, as he shrugged the garment off onto the floor. He ripped of the silver vest as well before taking her back into his arms and walking into the darkened bedroom. He didn't turn on any lights, but he kept the bedroom door open. The light from the sitting room was enough.

He set her on the edge of the bed and her hands immediately went to his cravat. He was much too tall and so dropped to his knees, making them eye-to-eye. She fumbled with the cloth, but he didn't move to help her. He breathed through his nose, his eyes focused her face as she tugged and pulled on the fabric around his neck. She finally got the knot undone and held the strip of fabric up triumphantly. He grinned and she tossed it aside.

Her hands moved to his neck, touching it as though it were some priceless artifact. He let her hands roam, cooling his lust for a moment. She appeared enthralled, ghosting her hands over his Adam's apple and into the shirt hairs at the base of his neck. He closed his eyes and his breathing increased. When she traced her fingers over his collarbone, he grabbed her hands.

"Enough," he growled, pushing her onto her back.

* * *

Hermione was completely transported. It never occurred to her to be shy. It never crossed her mind to cover herself or not touch him.

She _needed_ to touch him. She _needed_ to be touched by him.

Lying on her back, she looked at him. The light from the sitting room made it impossible to see his face, for it was right behind him. She hadn't seen his neck, only felt it, but it was perfect. She had felt him swallow, she had felt his pulse, and she had reveled in it.

He slid his palms up her thighs, which were still spread on either side of him. Shivering and arching, she silently willed his hands higher. Instead, she felt his mouth on her right knee. She sat up onto her elbows and watched him skim his lips over the sensitive skin. He moved his mouth higher and higher up her leg and she mindlessly widened her legs. He chuckled, sending hot air against her skin. Instead of placing his mouth where she wanted him to, he started all over again on the other leg.

She groaned and flopped onto her back, closing her eyes. She felt him laugh again and she only growled in reply. His large hands caressed her hips as his mouth continued to roam higher. She expected him to torment her further and so was surprised into crying out when he pressed his mouth to her knicker-clad center. He grasped her hips and moved his mouth over her, driving her crazy.

She arched and twisted, flexing her thigh muscles on either side of him.

"Already so wet for me," he murmured. She ran her hands through his soft, graying hair and he lifted his head. "Gods, you taste perfect."

His tongue probed the cloth, moving in circles over her. He kept hitting one spot that had her seeing fireworks over and over.

She made a noise of protest as he pushed himself up. He grasped her legs and put them together as he reached for her knickers. Understanding immediately, she lifted her hips and he tugged them down her legs. Once he tossed them somewhere in the room, he set her legs back onto the bed.

"Move back," he ordered, his voice husky. She did as he asked, scrambling backwards. He crawled over her, nudging her legs apart once more with his knee.

He settled his still-clothed form between her naked legs and pressed his mouth to her sternum. She arched into his mouth and he slid it down, down to her bra. She made to remove it but with reflexes she didn't know he had, he captured her wrists and pinned them above her head. Perhaps it was depraved of her, but that turned her on enormously. She moaned and wrapped her legs around him.

He once again rolled his hips into her and she raised her head to his, trapping his lips in a kiss. His free hand moved under her and unclasped her bra. Letting go of her hands, he ripped the bra from her, releasing her breasts to his gaze. She still couldn't see his eyes, but she knew he was looking at her.

She arched wantonly, unable to vocalize what she wanted. He understood, swooping down and attaching his lips to her left nipple, drawing it into his mouth. She cried out and lightly grasped his head. He ran his calloused hands up and down her sides as he nibbled the hard little bud.

Writhing and groaning, she arched madly into his mouth. Never in her life had she felt anything so glorious. The fact that he was still fully clothed aroused her further.

His mouth traveled to her other breast, giving it the same treatment. She should have been embarrassed at the noises coming from her mouth, but she was too far gone to care. Suddenly he pushed himself up and got off the bed. Disoriented, she stared at his outline blankly.

"Take down your hair," he rasped. She did as he asked, raising her shaking arms and pulling at the pins in her hair.

He watched her while unbuttoning his shirt as she tossed the hairpins over the side of the bed, her eyes riveted to his form as he slid the shirt off. She needed more _light._ She couldn't see anything but his outline.

His trousers came off next and she smirked when she saw he didn't wear any pants. He kicked the trousers off and kneeled on the bed. Should she be afraid about what was to happen?

No. There was no point, she decided.

She saw the faint outline of his erection, but couldn't really s_ee_ anything, which annoyed her. He raised a hand and stroked himself a few times, which sent a bolt of heat to her core. She'd never thought that watching a man touch himself would be so arousing.

"Get onto your back," he whispered. She complied with all due haste, flopping onto her back and watching him.

Climbing on top of her, he settled between her legs. He slid a hand down to the curly thatch of hair between her thighs and she jerked and arched when he touched her.

Heat lanced through her, icy hot twinges that had her begging.

"Please…" she moaned. _"Please!"_

"Please what?" he asked directly into her ear, sinking one finger inside her to the first knuckle.

"I don't know," she rasped. "I don't know! Just please…"

He chuckled darkly into her ear and moved his finger the rest of the way inside her. It was strange, but so good, and she rolled her hips into his hand.

"So wanton," he purred. "So wet for me."

She nodded frantically and he moved his finger within her. So good… Another was added to the first and it stung a bit, but the pain eased within moments. Kissing her neck, he pleasured her with his fingers, allowing her to get used to the invasion. But it wasn't enough…

"Not enough," she moaned. "It's not enough!"

"I know," he said gruffly. "But I don't want to hurt you."

"I don't care," she replied. "I don't care! Just do it!"

He removed his hand and she felt strangely empty. He settled once more between her thighs and at the first brush of his arousal against her folds, she groaned and arched her head back. He positioned himself but didn't move forward.

"Look at me," he whispered. She lifted her head regarded him. "I'm so sorry."

He pressed his lips to hers and thrust into her. She cried out in pain, but it was muffled by his mouth. He didn't move within her, for which she was grateful. It stung and burned, and tears leaked from her eyes. He kissed her slowly, stroking her face and brushing away her tears.

"I'm sorry," he said again. He repeated it over and over as she got used to him inside her. The pain eased and she cautiously moved her hips. Only mild discomfort met her explorations and she sighed. He went rigid and hissed out a breath.

"You can move," she whispered.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

He groaned in relief and withdrew from her slowly. The pain was evaporating. He moved at a slow pace, not wanting to harm her, but she didn't want slow. Her brain was screaming at her to move, thrust, take. Finally at her wit's end, she planted her feet and plunged her hips into his.

He choked out a breath and it seemed his control snapped. He thrust into her wildly and while it hurt slightly, the pleasure overpowered it. Running her hands over his stomach, she enjoyed feeling the muscles contract over and over again as he moved within her. Leaning down, he possessed her mouth once more as his movements became erratic.

His hand sipped between them and into her folds once more and she bucked against him as he fingered one spot over and over again.

"Come with me," he groaned. "Please, come..."

She seized. There was a moment of pure silence and rising tension before her muscles spasmed. Heat, scorching, blazing heat flowed over her as lights exploded before her eyes. He cried out and then there was warmth flooding her pulsing core.

She went limp and he collapsed on top of her. He made to move off put she held him close.

"'M gonna crush you," he mumbled.

"I don't care," she replied drowsily.

She liked his weight on top of her. It was comforting, especially now that the haze of the aphrodisiacs was slowly starting to evaporate. Now she felt mild embarrassment, wondering what he thought of her.

He pushed himself up, ignoring her protests and pulled the covers back. Feeling slightly ashamed, she looked away. He crawled into the bed and went still. He must have gone asleep. Should she leave?

"Hermione," he grumbled. She turned and looked at him.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Get in bed," he said. "Don't make me pick you up and put you in here with me, I have no energy to be gentle."

Her heart lifting with delight, she dove under the covers. As she settled into the big bed, lethargy like she felt after the binding spell washed over her. He reached for her and pulled her into his chest. As she fell asleep, she realized that he had hair on his chest.


	6. Repercussions

Hermione woke up to the funny sensation of her nose being tickled. She opened her eyes and saw that she was not in her room, and the thing she had her head on was definitely not her pillow. She lifted her head slowly and looked down, almost jumping out of her skin when she saw that her head rest had been Lupin's chest and the tickling feeling was from his chest hair.

Memories of the previous night flooded her brain and she cringed. She'd been a total harlot. What had possessed her to act that way? She pulled the comforter up to her chest and looked around. His clothes were all over the place from where he'd pulled them off. Her knickers were in the middle of the floor, her bra somehow making it to a door handle. Pins from her hair were scattered everywhere.

She glanced back down at the man next to her. Her husband. She looked at the ring on her finger. She waited for regret, depression, anger, or something else equally unpleasant. But all she felt was slight…ease. As though something heavy had been lifted from her shoulders.

He looked peaceful in his sleep. The frown lines disappeared. He had one hand by his head while the other was resting palm-up on the comforter, which was riding low on his waist.

He was thin, yes, but his muscles, having no fat whatsoever covering them, stood out in his abdomen and chest. Scars criss-crossed his entire upper body, even his neck. Now she knew why he kept it covered.

Blond stubble had broken out on his face, though she wouldn't have seen it if the light from the window hadn't hit it.

Absently she reached out and traced a few scars on his stomach. They looked like they came form some sort of animal. She ghosted her hands over them, then walked her fingertips up to her chest. He didn't have a pelt of chest hair, but he had enough for her to immediately think 'manly'.

Her eyes scanned down to his covered lap. She remembered what he had felt like, but she never did get to see what he looked like. Her eyes darted to his face once to make sure he was asleep and then they went back to his crotch. Did she dare?

She took a deep breath and reached for the blanket. Slowly, so as not to wake him, she lifted it up to take a peek.

"You know," he said mildly. She squeaked and dropped the blanket. "That's rude."

She blushed crimson and refused to look at him

"Sorry," she mumbled.

She heard him chuckle and he sat up. Both were silent for a moment, not looking at each other. He scrubbed a hand through his hair and she twirled one of her curls around her finger.

"Should I-"

"Let's not-"

They both stopped at the same time and smiled sheepishly.

"Go ahead," she said, staring at the comforter and picking at one of the threads.

"Um," he mumbled, looking around helplessly. "Last night…ah…Look. Last night I wasn't myself. The twins drugged us with God only knows what. I don't want you to think that I'm…well…always like that."

She looked up in surprise. She had been the total hussy, not him.

"You don't have to sound to apologetic," she said.

"I don't?" he inquired.

"I was the one who…Well I was practically begging you…Actually. I think I did beg you."

She blushed bright red and covered her face with her hands. His deep laughter made her reach out blindly and punch him in the arm without looking up.

"I don't want you to be embarrassed, Hermione," he said while pulling her hands from her face. She still couldn't meet his eyes. "We weren't ourselves last night. It wasn't our fault. The next time I see the twins, I'll kill them. It'll be fine."

She laughed reluctantly and looked into his eyes. Oddly enough, the lines in his face weren't as deep, even though he was awake.

"Well," she said. "Whatever they gave us did make the whole process a lot less awkward."

"Of course it did," he said, leaning back onto his hands. The muscles in his abdomen stuck out even more. She forced herself to focus on his face. "We weren't thinking. It's hard to be awkward when you're not thinking."

"So, will it be uncomfortable next time?" she asked. At his inquisitive look, she elaborated. "When we have to do this again. Will we be embarrassed?"

"We'll have the potion," he said airily. "We'll just be adults about it and not think on it too much. We'll get used to it."

Hermione nodded and looked down at her hand, which was still picking at the comforter. Were they never going to do it again? Were they only going to use the potion from now on? But it had been so…nice. Better than nice, really. The things she had felt, that he had made her feel…she felt hot just thinking about it.

Her hands wandered over the comforter but she went rigid when she saw a spot of scarlet red on the blanket. The spot where she'd lost her virginity.

_Oh please don't let Lupin see it!_ She thought wildly. They were already awkward as it was.

"Hermione," Lupin said, sounding stricken. "Did you happen to take…I mean to say were you able to…ah."

She looked over at him and bit back a grin at the pink spots on his cheeks.

"I took a contraceptive potion yesterday," she said, trying to sound matter-of-fact. "It lasts twenty-four hours."

His relief was palpable. "Thank God you're on top of things," he said, flopping onto his back.

"I should probably get going before people start to wonder where I am," she murmured. She grabbed the comforter, hiding the blood-stain and wrapped it around her. She wasn't sure she could parade around naked in front of Lupin just yet. Or ever, for that matter.

She reached for her knickers and froze.

"Um, Lupin?" she said. He lifted his head inquiringly. "I, ah, don't have any clothes to wear to the dorm. Just my dress and that might get me a few odd looks…"

"Right," he said, sitting up and scratching behind his ear. "Hold on for a bit."

He stood up on the bed, pulling the sheet with him and tugging it around himself like a toga. She bit back her sudden giggle and looked away. He was built so well, Hermione thought, with his long arms and broad shoulders. He disappeared into the closet and she heard him shuffling things around inside.

She grabbed her bra from the door handle and pulled it on while he was busy. Her fingers fumbled and she cursed in her head. She never had problems with her bra! Nerves were getting the best of her. She got it latched and just pulled the blanket around her once more just as Lupin reappeared.

"These will probably be too big for you," he said, holding out a pair of jeans and a battered t-shirt with the hand that wasn't holding his toga-sheet around him. "But they're too small for me now, so you can have them."

"Thank you," she said meekly. He turned back to the closet, vanishing once more, and she dressed quickly.

The jeans were much too long, though fit quite well around the middle. She rolled the legs up so that she didn't trip on them and pulled the shirt over her head. It was too large for her, by quite a bit, but it was incredibly soft and it smelled like him; like woods with a hint of mint.

He reappeared, fully dressed, and there was a moment of awkwardness again. Both were silent, looking around for something to say, until Hermione finally broke the tension.

"I need to be getting along," she said. "I'll see you soon?"

He nodded, meeting her eyes briefly and leading her to the door.

"We'll figure out a time for next week for us to…right." He looked so embarrassed and flustered that it warmed Hermione's heart for some reason. She reached up to the tip of her toes and gave him a kiss on the cheek before leaving, refusing to look at his face.

There were no students in the halls as she made her way to Gryffindor tower, as it was still rather early. The Fat Lady gave her a shrewd look as she swung forward, but she didn't ask where Hermione had been.

Hermione barely walked into Gryffindor common room before someone grabbed her hand and hurried up the stairs to the girl's dormitory.

"Ginny," Hermione gasped, tripping over her feet. "What are you doing?"

"Shush!" Ginny commanded, leading Hermione to her dorm room. She looked around to make sure no one was inside before pulling Hermione after her and closing the door. She plopped onto her bed and gave Hermione an expectant look.

"What?" Hermione asked self-consciously.

"Well?" Ginny prodded. Hermione looked at her blankly. "How was it?"

"How was what?"

"Oh don't be dumb!" Ginny exploded. "How was the sex?"

"Ginny!" Hermione shrieked, covering her mouth.

"You can tell me!" Ginny said earnestly. "I won't say anything to anyone."

"I'm not going to tell you!" Hermione said, feeling her face heat up. "It's private!"

Ginny looked like a wounded puppy. "But…come on!" she said. "You must be bursting to tell someone about it!"

"I assure you I'm not," Hermione said vehemently. She would prefer not to tell anyone about last night ever.

"It must have been interesting," Ginny pressed.

"Why's that?"

"Because the twins ended up telling us what they gave you," Ginny said with a grin. Hermione's blush deepened.

"What did they say?" she asked curiously. Ginny patted the bed next to her and the two girls ended up facing each other on the bed.

"It was a really potent aphrodisiac," Ginny explained. "They didn't want to tell us, but Dumbledore made them. He was so angry!"

"Dumbledore?" Hermione asked. "Really?"

"Oh yes," Ginny said with a nod. "I've never seen anything like it. He told them that they had no right to force anyone to do anything and that if you got hurt, it would be their fault."

"Why would I get hurt?" Hermione asked in confusion.

"No one would tell me anything, but from what I overheard, the drugs might have made Lupin really rough, bringing out the animal side of his condition."

"Oh," Hermione squeaked. Ginny looked stricken.

"Did he hurt you?" she asked quietly.

"No!" Hermione said quickly. "No, he didn't hurt me! We just…got a little…"

"Go on," Ginny said, leaning forward.

"We lost our heads a bit," Hermione said. She found that she _did_ want to talk about it a little. It was a life-changing night, and Ginny was more than a good listener.

"How do you mean?" Ginny asked.

"Well," Hermione said uncertainly. Ginny just smiled, silently saying that Hermione could tell her anything. Hermione took a deep breath and went on. "We weren't really thinking. We didn't even make it into his rooms before we were kissing like mad."

"Is he a good kisser?" Ginny asked, looking intrigued. Hermione nodded fervently.

"He makes Viktor look like a novice, and Viktor was no novice," Hermione replied before blushing again.

"Go on!" Ginny grinned.

And so Hermione told her. She talked about how her dress was basically ripped off, how she had in turn forced Lupin out of his clothes, how their apparel ended up strewn all over the place.

"He was very…commanding," Hermione conceded.

"That doesn't surprise me. Probably part of the whole wolf-thing."

Hermione went on to tell her how she wasn't even shy. She'd been too out of her mind to be shy. When she got to the part where Lupin used his mouth on her though, she faltered. Should she go on? Wasn't in an invasion of Lupin's privacy?

"What's wrong?" Ginny asked when Hermione went silent.

"It's just, I don't feel right telling you about what we did after that," Hermione said, looking away. "I feel like it's giving away his privacy."

"Oh please," Ginny said, waving her hand. "Girls talk about this all the time. You've just been with two boys too long."

"But it's Lupin," Hermione said. "He's a teacher."

"Who would I tell?" Ginny said. "I just want to know what it was like!"

"Okay," Hermione said, thinking that men talked about this kind of thing all the time. "When we finally made it to the bedroom-"

Ginny snorted.

"-he ah, well he…that is to say that erm…."

"Did he go down on you?"

"Did he what?"

"You know, use his mouth."

Hermione's eyes widened a little but she nodded. Ginny gave her an evil grin.

"Isn't it fun?"

"What?!" Hermione gasped. "You've done it and never told me?"

"I did quite a bit with Michael, if you must know," Ginny said primly.

The girls ended up spending the next three hours holed up in Ginny's dorm room discussing Ginny's sexual experiences, Hermione's wedding night, and any tips that Ginny might have for her. Hermione hadn't asked for these tips, knowing that it wasn't as if she was ever going to use them, but Ginny gave them anyway. Hermione figured Ginny just liked knowing something that she didn't for once, and let her young friend have her moment. After all, it was very informative.

* * *

Remus woke Monday morning feeling oddly lonely. It was like part of him was missing. He tried to shrug it off as he got dressed, but it was persistent. Like an itch he couldn't reach. Realistically, he knew it was the bond and that the reason he felt out of sorts was because Hermione wasn't there and hadn't been anywhere near him for two days, but that didn't help the feeling abate.

At breakfast it got worse. It was nagging at him. He glanced at the Gryffindor table but Hermione she wasn't there. He looked up and down the two sides of the table four times before giving up. Where was she? Harry and Ron weren't there either.

A sudden wave of distress hit him. It had nothing to do with him, they weren't his feelings, and yet he felt them anyway. Uneasiness, confusion, and hurt all rolled into one. He stared at his half-finished plate of food without seeing it. What was going on?

_Hermione._

Something was wrong with Hermione. He could feel it. He stood up abruptly and left the head table. Where could she be? He stalked past the Slytherin table and out into the Entrance Hall. Luck was with him. She was on the stairs. The nagging feeling seemed to infinitesimally go down but the distress was still there. He looked around her and saw Harry and Ron, who looked ready to kill. There at the bottom of the stairs, was Draco Malfoy.

Even if Remus couldn't hear what was being said, he knew taunting when he saw it. Remus weaved through the students standing in the Entrance Hall and approached the blond boy, picking up on the last bit of what he was saying.

"- think you can get away with it that easily, you're wrong," Malfoy sneered.

"What is going on, here?' Remus demanded.

Malfoy turned and regarded him, eyes going from Remus's feet all the way to his face. Crabbe and Goyle sniggered.

"Why, congratulations on your marriage, Professor!" Malfoy said with false cheer. Around him, students stopped and looked around, staring at him.

The blood drained from Remus's face as he stared at the boy before him. He couldn't speak, as he was caught by surprise.

"What?" someone asked from somewhere behind Remus. A student.

_Oh, please God no._

"Oh, didn't you know?" Malfoy asked cheerfully to however it was.

"Malfoy-" Remus said warningly.

"Professor Lupin got married," Malfoy continued, ignoring Remus completely.

The entire Entrance Hall was watching now. Remus couldn't move. His life was in the hands of this boy. His reputation, his job, everything was at the mercy of a spoiled little brat who loved to create havoc. Remus could feel his own fear mixed with someone else's. He looked up at Hermione and saw pure terror. Harry pulled his wand out and aimed it at Malfoy, but it was too late.

"Yes, the Professor here married Granger," Malfoy said gleefully.

"What?"

"He's kidding, right?"

"That's not possible!"

Student's voices rang through the hall and Remus closed his eyes for a moment before glaring at Malfoy.

"Isn't that right, Professor?" Malfoy taunted.

Remus opened his mouth to deny it, to say it wasn't true, but the words stuck in his throat. He grabbed his neck with one hand, wondering why the words wouldn't come.

"Oh, didn't you know?" Malfoy drawled. "You can't lie about being married. It's part of the Fidelity Charm. Congratulations again, Professor."

He turned and walked into the Great Hall, leaving Remus standing there staring at him in horror. The hall around him broke out into whispers as people stared at him and Hermione.

There was a blur in the corner of his vision as Harry bounded down the stairs and grabbed Remus's forearm.

"Come on," he said urgently.

Remus let him tug him up the stairs. Ron steered Hermione around by the shoulders and propelled her down the hall next to Remus.

What were they going to do? No doubt word that he had married a student was spreading like wildfire by now. How was he supposed to teach? All his students would look at him differently. No one would take him seriously. What would he do if he didn't teach? No one would hire him. It was public knowledge that he was a werewolf. Now they were going to think he was a pedophile as well. Brilliant.

Harry stopped before the gargoyle guarding the Headmaster's office. Remus allowed himself to be pulled up the revolving stairs and into Dumbledore's room.

"Well hello," Dumbledore said curiously. He saw the look on Remus's face and his eyes flew to Hermione, who looked about ready to faint. "What happened?"

Harry pushed Remus into a chair. He couldn't speak. Harry spoke for him as Ron put Hermione in the chair next to his. He looked at her helplessly and she regarded HIM with bright eyes, as though she were holding back tears.

Dumbledore sat in his chair on the opposite side of the desk as Harry finished.

"This is a problem," he said quietly.

"I tried to deny it," Remus choked out. "I didn't know that the Fidelity Charm prohibited that."

"I was going to Silence Malfoy," Harry said apologetically. "But I wasn't fast enough."

"What do we do?" Hermione whispered. Dumbledore looked at her kindly.

"Right now," he said. "We'll have to move your things to Remus's rooms. There is an old rule about married students not staying in house dormitories that we must stand to. Right now, we'll be watched for any rule-breaking."

"Won't we have to leave?" Remus asked.

"No," Dumbledore said firmly. "Not after what young Mr. Malfoy said today. Obviously, Voldemort thinks he can still get a hold of Hermione. No, you will be staying here."

"But I can't teach."

"Yes you can," Dumbledore replied. Remus stared at him.

"I married my student," he said slowly. "I know that's not allowed."

"She will be your student no longer," Dumbledore said. Hermione's head snapped up.

"What?" she rasped.

"You will still be a student of Hogwarts, my dear, but I think you are sufficiently trained in the realm of magical defense," Dumbledore said. "You do not need to take Defense Against the Dark Arts. So, from now on, you won't. Now you cannot be considered his student."

Hermione obviously wasn't happy about having to give up one of her classes, but said nothing.

"What do we tell people?" Remus asked.

"You will say nothing," Dumbledore said firmly. "You do not need to explain it. In your silence, rumors and conjectures will be flying everywhere, but do not say anything. If anyone asks if you are really married, the Fidelity Charm will not allow you to lie so just say 'yes' and nothing further."

Remus nodded to show he understood. So, he still had a job but his reputation was smashed to smithereens. It could be worse, he thought. He could have been kicked out of the school with no income and nowhere to go.

"You both are going to be under the microscope for some time," Dumbledore said sorrowfully. "This is an already difficult situation that just got exponentially worse. You'll have to be strong. I suggest that Hermione pack up her things and move them to her knew room."

"We'll help," Harry said. Hermione gave him a thankful smile.

They were dismissed and when they reached the bottom of the revolving stairs, he looked at her, feeling completely numb.

"I'll go get my things," she said, her voice uncommonly high.

"Tonight I'll help you unpack," he said tonelessly. She shrugged.

"What's the password?"

"Open," he replied. She gave him a funny look. "It's easy to remember."

Humor lit her eyes and she turned to head to the Gryffindor dormitory, but she halted. Instead she approached him and hugged him around the middle.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"It's not your fault Draco Malfoy is an arse," he replied, patting her back. She smiled up at him and walked away. Ron followed, not sparing Remus a glance. Harry smiled reassuringly before following his friends.

He checked his watch and saw that he only had ten minutes before his first class. He had the second years first. Hopefully, none of them will have heard yet.

The second years, it turned out, _had_ heard the news. None of them said anything, but they looked at him with pure interest. They, at least, weren't so interested as to not pay attention. They were respectful, listening to his lecture on small Dark Magic hex defenses and taking notes.

Remus wasn't worried about the second years. Remus was worried about his second class – the sixth years.

He didn't let any emotion show on his face as they filed in. All of them sent him furtive glances. The Gryffindors looked curious, the Ravenclaws looked unconvinced, the Slytherins looked gleeful, and the Hufflepuffs looked confused.

They shuffled to their seats, whispering behind their hands and smirking at him. He felt uneasy, as though this was the calm before the storm. The problem with that theory was that there was nothing calm about him or the class at the moment.

He had a plan, he didn't like it, but he was pretty sure it would work. He'd be putting himself in the spotlight, but better him than his marriage.

The second bell rang, signaling the beginning of the lesson and the room got quiet. Everyone's eyes were focused on him, waiting to see what he'd do.

"As sixth years," he said, beginning to pace before them. "You'll be learning about more than defensive spells against other witches and wizards. You'll need to know how to defend yourself against dark creatures as well. We started that your third year, but those weren't high-level dark creatures. You could get rid of them with simple spells and maneuvers. Now we'll be working on higher-level things."

They hung onto his every word and Remus could see that most of the Ravenclaws had already picked up on where he was going.

"Professor Snape brought up werewolves your third year when he subbed my classes," Remus said. "You weren't quite advanced at the time to work on defense, only recognition. Now, we'll segue into defense against werewolves during the full moon.

"First, I'm open to answering any questions you have about being a werewolf, as long as it's not ridiculous."

The room filled with laughter and almost everyone raised their hands. He swallowed, took a deep breath, and pointed to a Ravenclaw girl with shrewd eyes.

"Do you have energy loss before the full moon?" she asked curiously.

"No," he said, relieved that it was a question pertaining to his lecture. "Quite the opposite. There's an energy fluctuation in the few days leading up to the full moon. We get restless and nothing really holds our attention."

"I've never noticed you looking inattentive," said a Hufflepuff boy with a round face.

"I've learned to hide it," he said with a smile. "The energy loss is after the full moon," he continued. "Immediately after the change, we can barely move because we're so lethargic."

Remus's heightened sense of hearing caught a faint whisper at the back of the class, coming from the Slytherins.

"_Just like after sex,"_ whispering the nasal, drawling voice of Draco Malfoy. _"We'll have to ask Granger if his symptoms after fucking are the same as after the full moon."_

"I'm sorry to hear of your lack of energy after your sexual pursuits, Mr. Malfoy," Remus said loudly. "I'd have that checked if I were you. But in the meantime, please keep that topic of conversation for outside my classroom."

The Gryffindors snickered and Malfoy's pale cheeks tinged pink. He gave Remus a malevolent glare.

"Moving on," Remus said cheerfully. "Any other questions?"

The lesson continued on. Faced with the opportunity to ask a real werewolf questions about his life, everyone seemed to forget about the rumor. That is, until Harry and Ron arrived toward the end of the lesson. Remus nodded to them while answering someone's question about how long the change took.

"Usually only about thirty seconds," he said as Harry and Ron sat in their habitual seats in the front. "It feels longer, to be honest, but I find if I keep telling myself it's almost over, then it goes by quicker. Not quick enough for my taste, mind you, but it's better with the Wolfsbane."

"Aren't you going to punish Potter and Weasley for being late?" Pansy Parkinson demanded.

Remus regarded her for a long moment, long enough to make her look uncomfortable, before answering. "No," he replied. "Because I know where they were and why they were late."

"Where's Hermione?" Neville asked Ron curiously. Ron, not being suave in the least, glanced at Remus for the first time in days with a helpless look. Remus didn't say anything, he couldn't. Dumbledore said to say as little as possible.

"She's doing something else," Harry said dismissively.

All eyes then focused on Remus. Someone's quill rolled of a desk and clattered to the floor and it sounded much louder than normal in the silence. Everyone was wondering the same thing – did it have something to do with Lupin? Did this mad rumor have any merit?

A shaking hand rose from the group of Hufflepuffs. He regarded the pale, uncertain face of Hannah Abbot and sighed.

_Here we go._

"Yes, Hannah?" he sighed.

"Did you really marry Hermione Granger?"

"Of course he did," someone snapped. "He's wearing a ring."

All eyes slicked to his left hand, which he didn't bother to try to hide. That would have been a little obvious.

"That doesn't mean anything," someone else said.

"Yes it does!"

"Why don't we just let him tell us?"

The silence was acute. Everyone seemed to lean forward in their seat, waiting for his answer. He considered waving it aside, putting off the inevitable for a little while, but dismissed the idea.

"Yes," he said simply, doing as Dumbledore told him.

The room erupted into gasps and murmurs.

"Why?" someone asked.

"That's between me and Hermione," Remus said, a hint of warning in his tone. "Now, can we focus on Defense, please?"

Keeping their attention after that was a bit difficult. Everyone seemed to be whispering and watching him. Eyes kept darting to his ring to try and get a better look at it. He checked his watch. Two minutes until lunch.

He finally just stopped talking. No one was listening anyway. He'd skip lunch in the Great Hall. Now that his marriage had been confirmed, he was sure he'd never have a moment's peace walking through the hallways or eating meals.

When the bell rang, many people seemed to fly at the doors, eager to be the first ones out with the news: Professor Lupin confirmed that he married Hermione Granger.

Remus rubbed the spot between his eyebrows and stared at his shoes.

"We shouldn't have even come in," Harry said. "If the three of us had been missing the whole time, no one would have thought about it."

"It's better this way," Remus replied, looking up. The room was deserted with the exception of him, Harry, and Ron.

"She's up in your rooms," Ron said. Remus looked at him.

The boy didn't look angry anymore, only a little sad. It broke Remus's heart. Everyone knew that Ron had liked Hermione as more than a friend. Even Hermione knew. And the worst part was that she liked him back.

A terrible thought occurred to him. Had she been thinking of Ron when they'd…? It didn't matter. It wasn't any of his business. If she wanted to think of other men when they had sex, it was her prerogative.

"She doesn't want to unpack without you there," Harry said. "She doesn't want to put something where it doesn't belong."

Remus smiled. How very Hermione. She didn't want to do something to irritate him. He'd help her out that night, for at the moment he didn't want to deal with anyone.

"Go on to lunch," Remus said, waving them out.


	7. Changes

Hermione sat on the couch in Lupin's private rooms and stared at the empty fireplace. Her trunk was next to her, unopened. She had shooed the boys out, but now she wished that they would come back. She felt incredibly lonely and what's more, she was feeling emotions that didn't belong to her.

It took a few minutes to realize that she was feeling Lupin's emotions through their bond. Ron told her that it would wear off after a few weeks, but since they had exchanged magic and energies, it was a side-effect.

It was a dizzying mix of nervousness, irritation, and a small stab of anger. As she sat there focusing on these feelings, she herself began to feel more depressed. Lupin wouldn't be feeling these things if it weren't for her. He wouldn't have to deal with the school, the outside world, or her. He'd have his own life, instead of having to cater to hers.

Feeling restless, Hermione stood up from the couch and opened her trunk. She didn't want to wear her school uniform anymore. Shoving books and random clothes aside, she searched for the shirt and jeans that Lupin had given her. For some reason, she wanted to be wrapped in his scent as she hid in his rooms.

Not bothering to go into the bedroom to change, she stripped down and pulled the worn clothing on. Immediately, she felt a sense of relief. She stuffed her school robes into the trunk without folding them and shut the lid.

The silence around her was deafening. Perhaps it was magnified because she was scared and alone. Trying to distract herself, she looked around the sitting room. It amazed her that she never really noticed it before, though she had been a little distracted at the time.

It was a very masculine room. The carpet was burgundy, as were the two chairs and sofa before the fireplace. Golden patterns were stitched meticulously into elaborate designs on the pillows and furniture backs.

She walked around barefoot, liking the plush carpet caressing her feet. Pictures were placed on the mantle, the occupants waving at her as she got close. She smiled when she saw one of the four Marauders.

They looked to be about fifteen or sixteen, all grinning goofily at the camera. Lupin was squeezed between James Potter and Sirius, his hair sticking up all over the place as though someone had ruffled it.

The next picture was of Lupin and Sirius. Hermione frowned. They were dancing slowly and in the background were Harry's Mum and Dad dancing also. It had to have been their wedding day, for they were wearing wedding robes. Lupin and Sirius were holding each other tight and Sirius was whispering into Lupin's ear. They almost looked…like lovers. Lupin had his eyes closed and was resting his head on Sirius's shoulder and looking like he never wanted to move again.

The last picture was taken last year. Hermione remembered. It was Christmas and Lupin and Sirius were giving each other presents. Fred had taken that picture. Sirius had a ridiculous Santa hat on his head and was laughing uproariously while Remus was grinning like a fool.

Where they…intimate? Hermione wondered. She thought back to everything she knew of them and found that it wasn't too much of a stretch. It wouldn't have surprised her, really.

She moved away from the sitting area over to the bookshelves that had been built into the walls. He didn't have much of a collection, though the books that he did have made her bookworm's heart skip a beat. They all seemed to be collector's editions or limited editions of some kind. He had works by both Muggle and Magical authors, novels and biographies. He had them all spaced out over the walls, for if he stacked them next to each other they would only take up one bookcase.

Huge windows overlooked the forests behind Hogwarts. They looked so peaceful. She smiled ruefully. Never judge a book by its cover. She sat on the window seat and almost sighed in pleasure. The dark, plushy material made her want to curl up and snooze like a cat.

A cat.

Crookshanks!

What was she going to do about Crookshanks? Would Lupin allow a cat into his rooms? Her pet was currently somewhere in Gryffindor Tower, probably wondering why his favorite blanket was missing. She'd have to talk to Lupin about that right when he got back.

Forcing herself from the comfy window seat, she meandered into the bedroom. Now, this room she remembered. Her cheeks began to heat as she looked at the king-sized bed, remembering all that had happened there. The red stain was gone. Had he seen it? Or had the house elves cleaned it before he could? She desperately hoped for the latter.

More large windows faced the forests, though there was no window seat in this room. Dark draperies were tied back on each side with gold ropes. A large fireplace faced the foot of the bed, and she could just see in her mind being curled up in the massive bed with a fire going. It sounded quite cozy.

She shuffled over the plush carpet, this time colored navy blue, and went to the closet. She felt slightly guilty looking at his clothes for some reason, but she told herself she had to see how much space there was for her own wardrobe. She was shocked to see that his clothes barely took up a forth of the huge closet. He didn't have much, and that made her feel angry. If only the world wasn't so prejudiced, then he could have a more normal life, with more nice clothes and square meals. A smile tugged at her lips as she saw shoes, mostly of the tennis variety, tossed into a pile below his hanging clothes.

She left the closet and moved on to what she thought would be the bathroom. The door opened silently and this time she did gasp out loud. The bathroom was huge, almost as large as the bedroom. Where the rest of the rooms had had a definite masculine feel, the bathroom did not. It was mostly white, with white tile floors and white draperies at the large bay windows. Her bare feet slapped against the floor as she wandered in further.

A huge bathtub was settled into the middle of the floor and could easily hold four people. Six taps were lined up on one side of the white tub, each a different color, and she couldn't wait to try them out. A glass-fronted shower was set into the far wall opposite the door. Black tile made up three of the walls with two silver shower-heads on opposite sides.

The side of the room opposite the windows was one long counter-top with two sinks and a large mirror. Lupin had all this to himself? Lucky man.

_Now lucky me as well,_ Hermione thought with a grin. No more sharing one small bathroom with four other girls who hogged the mirror and shower time.

At home with her parents, she had her own bathroom.

Oh, no. Her parents! Her parents didn't know she was married! She hurried out of the bathroom, through the bedroom, and into the sitting area. She couldn't tell her Mum and Dad in person, but at least she could write a letter. Hopefully during the holidays, she'd be able to go see them and hopefully they will understand.

* * *

Remus trudged up to his rooms after the last class of the day. He was exhausted. Who knew that keeping your emotions hidden was such hard work? After lunch he'd had the third years. He ended up taking about ten points from each house because no one was paying attention. They were whispering and pointing, sitting up in their seats to see his ring. It was a nightmare. The seventh years had been worse. He got smirks and giggles and knowing glances. He knew what they were all thinking. He never said a word about his marriage, however. He wouldn't rise to the bait.

He didn't even bother to look at the portrait to his rooms as he said, "Open." The painting swung open and he stepped in, though immediately stopped. He wasn't sure what he had expected to find when he got back to his rooms. Would Hermione have changed anything? Would there be frills and bows everywhere now? It didn't sound like her, but then you never really know for sure. Would she have changed the colors from a comfortable dark theme to pink?

Everything looked exactly the same as it usually did with only one difference. His usual empty rooms now held the small form of a young female asleep on his sofa. Her trunk was next to the coffee table with its lid open.

He walked closer and saw that she was wearing the clothes he had given her. She was curled on her side with one hand under her head and the other by her chin. He was going to go straight to his room to change, but halted when her eyes opened and settled on him.

She gave him a sleepy smile and sat up.

"What time is it?" she asked, rubbing her eyes.

"Everyone's at dinner," he replied, removing his outer robes.

"Oh!" she stood up and grabbed an envelope off the coffee table. "I need to mail this while no one will see me."

"What is it?" he asked while pulling off his tie.

"A letter to my parents," she replied. "I want them to know what happened, and that I'm married. They'll be terribly disappointed they weren't here, but I explained everything. I wanted to mail it while everyone was distracted so that I could escape any questions."

"I'll go with you if you like," he offered. She looked at him curiously.

"Why?"

"Well, I've been having to deal with everyone all by myself all day," he replied. She looked guilty, causing him to continue. "It's not your fault, Hermione. I'm just saying that people might leave you alone and not ask questions if I'm there with you."

She nodded and smiled shyly before looking at the floor. He changed out of his teaching robes into more comfortable jeans and a grey sweatshirt and walked beside her as they made their way to the owlry.

"Do you think they'll be angry?" he asked as they moved past empty classrooms.

"Not angry, no," Hermione replied. "Confused, maybe hurt because I didn't invite them, but not angry. They'll be happy that you did this for me."

"Will they really?"

"I'm an only child," she said with a sad smile. "They'd be alright with anything to see me safe."

They fell into a companionable silence as they walked through the deserted corridors. She was walking rather fast, no doubt hoping to get the errand done before anyone could see her. Unfortunately, luck was not with them. Students were finishing up with dinner and had started to make their ways to their dormitories.

At first, it was just a random student here and there who gave Remus and Hermione gobsmacked looks as they passed. As time progressed, however, more and more students were becoming visible. Whispers followed them down the halls, but none of the students tried to talk to them.

Hermione kept her head held high, though Remus could feel her tension. She ignored everyone around them, even when it got to the point that it was difficult to get through the hallway because people were stopping to watch them.

Remus's irritations spiked. Without a word, he grabbed Hermione's arm and literally pushed people aside. Moving quickly so that no one would see what he was doing, he pulled her around the corner and tapped a brick in the wall of an empty corridor. Knowing that people were right behind them, he pulled her into the newly-revealed doorway of a secret passage and closed the entrance behind him.

"What -"

He pressed a finger to her lips for silence and listened.

"_Where did they go?"_

The voice was muffled from the other side of the wall, but the words were distinguishable.

"_Dunno," _someone replied. _"He probably pulled her into a broom closet for a quickie."_

Hermione stiffened against him, but made no noise.

"_Oh, get a life, all of you,"_ came the clear voice of Ginny Weasley. _"What they do and where they do it has nothing to do with you. Now go on, move along, you're all blocking the hallway."_

Remus smiled in the darkness. God bless Ginevra Weasley. Remus lit his wand silently and gestured for her to follow him into the passageway. If he remembered right, it would take them to the fourth floor near the Arithmancy classroom. No dorms were around there, so hopefully there wouldn't be many people to gawk at them.

It became clear in the trip to the owlry that privacy was going to be a rare gift for him and Hermione. Even with the shortcut and trying to make their way from people-populated areas, they were still bombarded with stares, whispers, smirks, and giggles. When they finally made it to the owlry, Remus warded to the door to make sure no one could enter the room with them still in it.

"This is a nightmare," Hermione groaned, pulling the envelope from her pocket and moving to one of the school owls.

"I know, I got to teach it today," Remus replied, moving to stand next to her.

"I could feel you," she said absently. The old grey owl she was tying her letter to watched her in bored nonchalance.

"Feel me?" he asked curiously.

"I could feel your emotions," she clarified. "Nervousness, irritation, anger. I could feel it."

"How strange," he said. "This morning I could feel you as well, when Malfoy was harassing you."

She finished tying the letter to the owl and it swept out one of the glassless windows. They watched the bird until he was nothing but a speck in the sky.

"I wonder what they'll say," she said quietly.

"I wouldn't worry about it," he replied, putting his arm around her. "If it bothers them, we can set up a time to go see them and take some Order members."

She smiled up at him and his heart clenched. She looked so sad, so unhappy. Her life had been changed like his, if not more so.

"Stop looking so depressed," he chided, squeezing her a little.

"I can't help it," she sighed. "This is all so…odd."

"I'm afraid we'll just have to get used to things," he said.

"Um, by the way," she said hesitantly, gripping the hem of her shirt tightly.

"Yes?" he asked uncertainly.

"I kind of have a cat," she mumbled. "I can probably give him to Ginny, if you don't want him in your rooms, but I thought I'd ask first."

His heart sank. He hated cats. "That ugly orange thing, right?"

"He's not ugly!" she said defensively. "He's just slightly off-looking."

Remus snorted. "Is he well-tempered?"

"He just likes to sleep really," Hermione replied. "He only gets up for food."

"Well, I don't think it'll be a problem," Remus said with false cheer. He was really tempted to just say no, but Hermione was upset as it was and it was only a cat. Albeit a really ugly one.

Her face lit up and for the moment he didn't regret his decision at all.

* * *

Lupin went with her to Gryffindor Tower. She told him it wasn't necessary, but he waved off her protests.

"They'll converge on you," he'd said on the way. "At least with me there they'll have the good sense to keep their mouths shut."

In the Gryffindor common room, she'd been the first through the portrait hole. Her dorm mates hadn't seen her husband right behind her, otherwise they wouldn't have questioned her like they did.

"What is going on?"

"Does he eat raw meat?"

"Does he snore?"

"Is it true he has a tattoo on his back?"

Hermione stared around all the teenagers surrounding her, bombarding her with questions, in total confusion. She tried to move past them, but they held her fast, tossing out ridiculous questions and trying to get her attention on them. Suddenly, everything was quiet as they looked over her shoulder.

"I don't eat raw meat, I don't think I snore, and the tattoo isn't on my back," Lupin said mildly.

A few of the students smiled sheepishly while the rest backed away slowly. Hermione glanced back at Lupin and saw that he looked slightly amused. He had a tattoo? Where?

"I'll just go find him," she said awkwardly.

"So where's your tattoo, then?" someone asked as she bounded up the stairs.

After a quick search of her dorm room, she found Crookshanks curled up under her bed. When she stuck her head under and saw him, her gave her a kitty-glare and refused to budge.

"Come on, darling," she said. "I'm taking you to our new home."

Crookshanks was unmoved. She stretched out her hand but he was too far back. He looked at her hand as though it carried the plague and curled in further on himself.

"Oh, don't be like that," she huffed. Crookshanks yawned dramatically and laid his head upon his paws and regarded her sulkily. "I know I took everything out of here and forgot you, and I'm sorry, but I've been really distracted. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

Again, Crookshanks was unmoved. He took her forgetfulness as a personal insult and refused to budge. She used all kinds of endearments, ranging from 'darling' to 'sweetheart', but her cat was unimpressed.

"Problems?"

Hermione banged her head on the side her bed in her haste to pull backwards. She whimpered in pain and touched her hand to the crown of head. Before she knew it, Lupin was on his knees next to her and gently touching what looked to be an impressive bump.

"Are you okay?" he asked in concern. "How bad is it?"

"'M fine," she mumbled. "I'd be better if I had longer arms so that I could force my errant cat from his hiding place."

She looked into Lupin's eyes and saw the mirth there. She scowled.

"Where is he?" he asked gently.

"Under the bed in the corner," she grumbled.

To her great astonishment, Lupin lowered himself down and peered under her bed. Wondering how her snotty cat would react, Hermione bent down to look.

Crookshanks was eyeing Lupin warily, wondering what he wanted. Crookshanks probably remembered Lupin from Grimmauld, but Hermione wasn't sure.

Lupin didn't say a word as he extended his much longer arm and lightly grasped Crookshanks' tail. Lupin pulled slowly and her cat began to slide on the wooden floor. Crookshanks glared at them over his fluffy shoulder but didn't try to dig his claws in the floor or protest in any other way. He looked resigned and when he was fully out from under the bed, Hermione picked him up in her arms.

"Thank you," she said with a bright smile. Lupin smirked and stood up.

"Let's go before I have to answer more questions from your nosy house," he said warmly.

Crookshanks, being truly miffed that he had been sunken so low as to have been pulled along by his tail, sat grumpily in Hermione's arms as they made their way out of the tower. Everyone watched them closely as they left but Hermione made sure no to look at anyone.


	8. It Keeps Getting Worse

The next few days were a blur for Hermione. Lupin helped her to unpack, telling her that the rooms were now hers as well and she had every right to leave anything she wanted anywhere. It was oddly liberating.

The bathtub had been an experience in paradise. She played with the taps and filled it to the brim with multi-colored bubbles. She'd been in the tub for an hour until Lupin checked on her to make sure she was alright. He'd blushed slightly and apologized, even though she was completely covered by bubbles up to her neck. When she'd entered the bedroom again, he was in bed reading a book wearing pajamas that had seen better days.

She remembered standing there awkwardly, wondering if she should sleep out on the sofa when he'd stared pointedly at the other side of the bed. It was a king size after all; they'd have plenty of room. He'd read for an hour further after she'd fallen asleep and taken pains to make sure they'd not touch each other in their sleep. So it was with confusion that they'd woken up the next morning wrapped around each other.

Neither said a word about it and went on with their day.

Hermione opted to eat meals in the private rooms, where she wouldn't be made a spectacle of. Lupin ended up joining her because he was tired of being stared at. Harry whined to her that he never saw her anymore but Ron didn't say a word about it. As a matter of fact, Ron rarely spoke at all anymore.

Classes were torture because everyone wanted to ask her why she married a teacher and what he was like in private. She never answered, remaining stoically silent and glaring at them in offense for even asking.

As with most scandals of Hogwarts, another usually comes along to sweep them aside. Because the story of Hermione Granger and Remus Lupin marrying was the biggest bit of Hogwarts gossip in years, the whispers and stares didn't go away, but they abated slightly. Soon people were talking instead of the other people to get married in school. There had been a flurry of proposals in the week after the Marriage Law. Some people were petitioned for and had to leave school, but the big bit of news were the students marrying other students. The bit of gossip about the marriage wing had been correct. People were engaged all over the place, planning on being wedded on the next Hogsmeade trip. Because they were of age, they did not need parental consent. So school crushes and pairings were decided to bind themselves to each other eternally. Hermione thought it was the stupidest thing she'd ever heard.

Why, she thought, would you willingly bind yourself to someone so young in life? School crushes never lasted! These people would be at each other's throats within weeks! And then they'd be stuck and not realize their stupidity until it was too late.

On Thursday, she decided that it was time to see if she could eat in the Great Hall without too much fuss. So far breakfast had been relatively normal. She received the random odd stare, but people in her house were too busy talking about some seventh year petitioning for a sixth-year Ravenclaw.

"No one knew they were together!" Parvati whispered excitedly to Lavender.

"I heard she's expecting, and that's why they're jumping on the Marriage Law train," Lavender replied.

"Convenient," Parvati snickered.

Hermione buttered her toast and read the _Prophet._ Part of her had been expecting something about her and Lupin to be run in the paper and she was endlessly relieved that nothing had shown up yet.

Harry and Ron were arguing over the best tactics for the upcoming Quidditch game against Hufflepuff next to her. She zoned them out, not interested in the game at all, and continued to read.

Without warning, a sudden wave of distress hit her full in the head. She gasped and dropped her toast, staring straight ahead.

"Hermione?" Ron asked. "Are you alright?"

She ignored him. Shock molded with the distress and it reached the point where she could hardly breathe.

_Remus._

She shot up from the bench, leaving her book bag behind and tore out of the Great Hall. Heads turned and watched her race from the room and before she'd even left the room, questioning voices rang throughout the hall.

She pounded up the grand staircase in the Entrance Hall and sprinted to down the corridor. What was wrong? Where was he? Was he alright? She pulled her wand from her sleeve, readying herself for the possibility of a fight, and continued to run.

She felt like she was getting close, like he was near. She rounded another corner and there he was with McGonagall outside her office. Gryffindors were passing her in the hall, taking in her winded breathing and disheveled appearance. Lupin and McGonagall turned to her at the same time and even though they were twenty feet away, she felt their tension.

Lupin looked physically fine, but his facial expression was one of deep shock and remorse. She walked toward them slowly. What could have happened?

"Hermione," McGonagall said gently. Her usually stern face had melted into one of sadness. "I'm afraid there's been some news."

Hermione moved up to stand next to Lupin and looked between them. "What kind of news? Has Voldemort found a way to dissolve the marriage?"

She shook her head. "No, my dear," McGonagall replied. "Did you send a letter to your parents?"

"Yes," Hermione replied in confusion. "I wanted them to know what had happened."

"Apparently your owl was tracked," McGonagall said. Hermione ears started to ring. McGonagall's next words were oddly muffled. "After your owl arrived, your parent's house was set under attack by Death Eaters and Voldemort himself. I'm afraid it was set on fire."

"Fire?" Hermione repeated weakly. "My parents? Are they alright? Where are they? Have they been taken somewhere? Do we have them?"

McGonagall winced and took a deep breath. Hermione knew, somehow she knew, what the woman was going to say. "Hermione, your parents were inside when it was set on fire. They…they didn't make it out. I'm so sorry."

For a moment, Hermione didn't feel anything. It was like the words didn't quite sink in. Silence, even with all the people walking by, invaded her ears. It didn't last long, however.

Her heart seemed to crumble and her knees couldn't support her. Her vision blurred as hot tears erupted from her eyes. Strong arms caught her as she fell, as though in slow motion, to the floor. Lupin slid down the wall with her and held her tight as she sobbed and sobbed.

Her brain wouldn't function. She couldn't seem to think.

As though from a distance she heard McGonagall tell the students in the hall to move on and not stare at the 'poor girl'. The hall was soon deserted and Lupin pulled her into his lap and rocked her, rubbing her back.

He didn't give her empty words of comfort like, "It'll be alright" or "Don't worry". He was silent as he held her through her breakdown.

When he spoke, he seemed to say exactly what she needed to hear.

"_I've got you."_

"She'll be alright, boys," Remus said to Harry and Ron as he let them into his private rooms. They had brought her bag and thanks to the gossip chain that is Hogwarts, they'd heard about Hermione's meltdown by Gryffindor Tower and were concerned.

Remus let them enter the sitting room and they looked around, expecting to see Hermione.

"She's asleep," Remus explained. "We had to give her a calming draught."

"What happened?" Harry asked, dropping her bag onto the couch. "We only heard she was crying, but no one seems to know what about."

Remus ran his hand through his hair, suddenly feeling very tired. Harry wasn't going to take the news well. He never did when it came to his friends and their happiness.

"Voldemort tracked her mail," he said finally. "He knew that it was only a matter of time before she would try to contact her parents. She wrote to them on Monday, telling them about the wedding and she told them the whole situation. I'm afraid…"

"He killed them," Harry said tonelessly. Remus nodded. Ron abruptly sat in an armchair, at a total loss, while Harry threw his bag at a wall. Remus didn't try to stop him.

"What's going on?" said a sleepy voice from the bedroom door. Hermione was standing there, still in her uniform, and looking half asleep. "Why are you throwing things?"

Remus walked up to her and steered her back to the bed. "You need to go back to sleep. Fighting the calming potion will not help you."

"Why's Harry mad?"

"He just heard…he just found out about your family."

She stopped at the edge of the bed and stared at the pillows. He rested his hands on her shoulders, completely unsure of what to say.

"This is all my fault," she whispered. Remus tightened his hands, about to deny it but she stopped him. "I ruined your life, I ended my parent's life, there's no telling who will end up next."

He turned her around by her shoulders and stooped down to look in her eyes, a fury like he had never felt strengthening inside of him. "You didn't ruin my life, Hermione. You didn't. Don't ever think that again. You are not responsible for what happened to your parents. Voldemort is a vindictive bastard and we should have realized that he wouldn't stop just because you married someone other than a Death Eater. We should have been more prepared. None of this is your fault. Don't you ever think that it is."

She nodded slowly and got back into bed. Remus pulled the blankets over her and waited for her to close her eyes. When she had fallen asleep again, he turned to the door and stopped.

"You're really good with her, mate," Harry said softly. He entered the bedroom quietly and together they looked down at the pale face among the dark pillows.

"Where's Ron?" Remus asked.

"He went to the kitchens to get some of her favorite foods for when she wakes up," Harry said.

Remus smiled slightly. Hermione twitched in her sleep, but didn't wake.

"I should have gotten her a Dreamless Sleep potion," Remus said.

"No, this is better," Harry said with a shake of his head. "Because if she fell asleep and didn't think about it, it would only worse when she woke up. She'll have bad dreams for a while, but that's better than the alternative."

"You boys can stay here if you like for today," Remus said softly. "I have to teach and I don't want her here alone. I'm sure Dumbledore will understand."

"Sure. No problem."

Remus hurried to his first class, already late. He would have preferred to stay with Hermione to make sure she didn't harm herself, but the boys would look after her.

The last hour had been as emotionally charged as the day one week ago when he'd learned he was getting married, though in a completely different way. Then there'd been apprehension and worry, not to mention fear, but today it was only shock and grief.

Hermione's misery was seeping into Remus through their bond. If it lasted much longer, he'd have to take a potion himself. The fact that he was only feeling a fraction of what Hermione was going through worried him.


	9. Upholding the Law

**WARNING: LEMONS!

* * *

**

Remus turned out to be a very good caretaker. He seemed to know, without her having to say a word, that she needed to be held during her grief.

Remus understood. He held her while she slept that Thursday night, he held her hand on the way to her first class, ignoring the looks they were receiving, and he hugged her when she had a pang of loss during the evening when she had finished her homework and had nothing to keep her thoughts off of the fire.

Unfortunately, her parent's death didn't prevent or put off their duties as a married couple. On Saturday, the boys showed up again. Hermione didn't even remember that they had to 'have intercourse' until the evening, when she was playing chess with Ron. She was losing, as usual, when Harry brought up the engagements sprouting up all over the school.

"You wouldn't believe how idiotic it's getting," Harry said, watching Ron trounce Hermione. "I don't think there's a single seventh-year who isn't engaged. All the younger years are talking about marrying their boyfriends and girlfriends when they become of age, now that it's an actual law."

"Unbelievable," Hermione grumbled. "Don't they realize that it's forever? It's not a Muggle marriage! They won't realize that the love they're feeling now is actually hormones until they're already married and want to kill each other."

"Is that your way of saying that you want to do me harm?" Remus asked, looking up from an essay in his lap.

"No," Hermione said matter-of-factly. "I think we're perfectly fine because we didn't go into this with stars in our eyes. We don't expect eternal love from each other. You have to admit that these marriages with the students are just the boys thinking that they get sex a minimum of once a week."

"What do you mean?" Ron asked, moving his bishop.

"The girls are all excited, thinking they're marrying for love, when really the boys are petitioning for them for free and clear sex. It's an actual rule that anyone who enters into a marriage through petition by the Marriage Law has to have sexual intercourse once a week, minimum. I wonder if the boys realize that they can never have sex with anyone other than their wife."

"That's an actual rule?" Harry asked. "You must have sex once a week? Why?"

"For procreation," Hermione sneered.

"So you two…" Ron stopped talking. "I don't want to know."

Hermione felt her cheeks heat up.

Remus calmly changed the subject, instead asking the boys to relay the Quidditch game. Hermione and Remus had stayed at the school, Hermione making up her homework from the day she missed, and Remus taking an afternoon to relax and read on the couch. Crookshanks had eventually crawled up onto his belly, curling up into Remus's thick sweater. Remus had been so involved in his book that he hadn't noticed. Only when he went to sit up did he realize a large orange cat had commandeered his stomach.

Crookshanks was currently taking up a pillow on the couch beside Harry and looking disgruntled by all the noise they were making by talking. He yawned and stood up, stretching his back. Setting his tail high in the air with a sniff, he stalked off to the bedroom. The hour grew later and later and soon, it was almost midnight. Hermione had to get rid of her friends soon so that she and Remus could get their duty over with or else they'd get in trouble.

Hermione stood up and gave a theatrical yawn. "It's getting late. You guys should be getting back to the dorm."

Harry nodded and stood up, stretching his back. They had ten minutes. The boys took their sweet time getting to the door until Hermione finally shoved them out.

"I'll see you tomorrow!" she said and shut the portrait. She hurried through the sitting room, past Remus, to the bedroom and took a vial of potion out of the bedside table. She ran back into the front room and came to a halt in front of Remus with the potion held up.

"What are you doing?" he asked mildly.

"We have nine minutes to get this over with," she replied, shaking the potion in his face.

"We don't have to," Remus said gently.

"Of course we do!" she said.

"We'll only get fined if we don't," Remus said, standing back. "I thought you would rather not, after the week you've had."

"We'll only get fined this time, but what about next time?" she asked. "It would be easier to do it now. I promise I don't mind and I'll just be angry if you don't."

He sighed and took the potion from her outstretched hand. He swallowed it down, grimacing, and gave her back the empty vial. He stood there for a few moments and then frowned.

"Nothing's happening," he said, looking down.

"Um, maybe you have to, ah," she blushed and looked at the ceiling.

"Right," he said gruffly. "Why don't you get your pants off, and I'll work on this."

She nodded jerkily and turned away. They had seven minutes. She quickly unbuttoned her jeans and stripped them off and, hesitating only a little, removed her knickers. Behind her, she could hear him. Her heart pounded in her chest and sudden heat took over her midsection. She could hear his unsteady breaths, the meaty sound of flesh on flesh.

Five minutes.

Unwanted wetness appeared between her thighs. She blushed harder but figured that it would be easier that way anyway.

"Are you ready?" he asked. She nodded.

"Are you?" she replied.

He was suddenly behind her and his hand touched her lower back and slid up to her shoulder.

"Bend forward," he whispered. She did as he asked and spread her legs a little. Mortification mixed with arousal had her biting her lips shut. His other hand touched her center and she jumped.

"Shhh, it's alright," he murmured.

His fingers slid through her wetness and his breathing changed. His inhalations were shaky.

Three minutes.

He took his hand away and she almost made a noise of protest, but she held it back. Suddenly he was at her opening and pushing inside. She couldn't stop the moan as she was filled. It felt so different from the last time. There was no pain, only the feeling of being stretched and filled.

He surged forward and groaned, and she felt his release inside of her. She gripped the back of the couch in white-knuckled hands and bit her lips together to stop herself from begging him to touch her.

His forehead rested between her shoulder blades. She waited for him to pull out and for them to be done, but he didn't. Instead his hand snaked down the front of her and landed between her thighs.

"What are you – nnnggghhh…"

His fingers played over her where she was swollen and aching, touching that one little spot that demanded attention. His mouth was suddenly on her neck, nibbling at the sensitive skin. She unconsciously bucked against his hand and he grunted, flexing his hips forward. She moaned at the feeling of being full and the intensifying heat mounting in her.

His fingers became more insistent, moving faster and faster on her until she shattered. She opened her mouth in a silent scream as she convulsed. All the energy evaporated from her body and she slumped forward onto the back of the couch.

His softening arousal slid from her and he stepped back. She was slightly embarrassed about being spread out before him, but lacked the inclination to move. She heard his belt-buckle and realized he was doing up his pants. Had he even taken them off?

His arms were suddenly around her and he lifted her up and carried her to the bedroom. She smiled at him weakly. His face was flushed and his eyes were bright. Once in the bedroom, he laid her on the bed.

"You need to take the contraceptive potion," he said. She rolled over and opened the same drawer where his potions were kept. She pulled out a neon pink vial and downed it in one gulp. She set the vial on the bedside table and before she could even roll back, she fell asleep.

* * *

Remus stood stock still. To his shame, he was getting hard inside his trousers again just looking her half-naked and spread out on the bed. Her evil cat hopped up next to her and pawed Hermione's side. He pushed the animal away, but it only stared at him balefully and walked up to her side again. He curled in on himself and pressed his back into her ribs and started to purr.

"You're going to have to move," Remus whispered to the orange blob. Since it had curled into itself, Remus couldn't see its head. "I have to take off her sweater and get her into her pajamas, so you need to go away."

The cat lifted its head and gave him a look that clearly said, "Make me."

Remus growled and shoved the irritating creature aside and gently rolled Hermione over. Crookshanks moved up to Remus's pillow and laid down, looking straight into Remus's eyes as if to say, "This better?"

"You're going to move off my bloody pillow before I lay there or you'll be sorry," Remus warned. The cat commenced to clean himself, right there on Remus's pillow.

Ignoring the cat for the moment, Remus pulled Hermione upright and stripped off her shirt. She was limp in his arms, making him feel as if he were undressing a doll. He unsnapped her bra and pulled it off and laid her back on the bed while he turned to go grab something for her to sleep in.

But he didn't want to turn away. She was so beautiful, laying there asleep and spread on his dark bed. The navy blue made her skin seem luminescent. His jeans grew tighter.

Forcing himself to look away, he went into his closet to search for her pajamas. Unfortunately, he had no idea where she kept them. She was an organized soul, whereas he was more the kind of person to just throw things in the closet. He'd been more than a little shocked when he'd gone in one morning to find that she'd organized his clothes and paired up his shoes. To his amusement, she'd not touched his underwear drawer.

When it came to her side of the closet, Remus had never ventured there. He admired the orderliness, but didn't usually touch anything. Now, however, he needed to find the purple fleece pajamas she usually wore.

The first drawer showed her socks, lined up like little soldiers. The second drawer was shoes. Who put their shoes in drawers? The third drawer was jeans. Fourth drawer was sweaters. Fifth was shirts. Wondering just how many clothes Hermione had, he opened the sixth drawer.

No pajamas in there. Just her underwear. Her bras were neatly stacked, and he was a little surprised to see a black one. Little Hermione Granger had a black bra? It didn't have any lace or anything, but it was still black. On the opposite side of the drawer were her kickers. Plain, simple little pieces of cloth. He smiled slightly and moved on. Nowhere could he find anything that looked remotely like something she would sleep in.

When he returned to the bedroom, he had one of his old shirts and a pair of boxers. He'd explain the situation in the morning. He approached the bed and stopped.

Crookshanks had migrated. Now he was lying over Hermione's bare stomach as though he were a shield.

"Move," Remus rumbled. The cat was unimpressed. Remus bent down and looked the cat in the face. _"Move."_

Crookshanks huffed and moved his considerable flub off of Hermione and moved next to her instead. He sat there and stared at Remus.

Neither moved.

Obviously, the cat was waiting for Remus to dress Hermione so that he could crawl on top of her again.

"You are a pain in my ass," Remus growled. Crookshanks twitched his tail.

When Hermione was fully dressed in his clothes, he stripped down to his boxers and crawled into bed. His arousal was still there, but he ignored it. He turned out the lights with a wave of his wand and settled back.

Before he could fall asleep, however, Hermione rolled over and wrapped her arms around him. Crookshanks, irritated at being replaced, stalked up Remus's legs and sat on his stomach.

"I can't help that she likes me more than you," Remus smirked. Crookshanks narrowed his eyes and moved in-between Hermione and Remus, successfully burrowing himself between them.


	10. Holiday Spirit

Hermione wasn't sure which she hated more – the pleased looks from the Slytherins or the sympathetic looks from everyone else.

It was almost Christmas break and she was still getting sympathy from nearly everyone about the death of her parents. She had kind of recovered but there was still a small part inside her that felt shriveled up. She knew it would never go away and had long-since accepted it.

Her life had more or less gotten back on track in the last month. Everyone seemed to have gotten over the initial scandal of Hermione marrying Professor Lupin and had moved on to the newest scandal – couples being caught all over the castle in broom cupboards, empty classrooms, and in the case of one adventurous couple – the Potions classroom.

It had been two weeks since the Hogsmeade trip where numerous couples went into the village to get married. Now married people were being caught in compromising positions all over the place. They explain themselves by saying they're only following the rules about copulation, but the teachers are not swayed. More detentions and lost points had occurred in the last two weeks than in the last three years of Hogwarts combined.

When a seventh year Slytherin and sixth year Ravenclaw were found by Snape on his desk in the Potions classroom, both houses were sent into the negative numbers with the loss of house points, even though Snape was the head of Slytherin.

Hermione could now walk through the halls barely noticed, while the married couples were being watched by everyone, hoping so see more scandalous behavior. Hermione and Lupin were boring by comparison.

Hermione's prediction about some couples getting angry with each other did come true, not a week after the marriage.

Marital spats broke out in the hallways, the Great Hall, and classrooms. Some were just yelling fights, but some were settled with hexes. Hermione watched one morning as a Hufflepuff and Gryffindor screamed at each other from their House tables in the Great hall, arguing because the boy had left his underwear on the floor, leaving the girl to pick it up.

"It's GROSS!" the Hufflepuff girl screamed. "I don't want to pick up after you anymore!"

"Then leave the house elves to do it!" the Gryffindor boy screamed back. "And picking up my pants is not nearly as nasty as what you did last night with your mouth on my-"

"SHUT UP!" she shrieked, throwing a Giggling Hex at the boy.

Hermione had laughed into her goblet of pumpkin juice and couldn't look at her friends for many minutes.

"Trust a Hufflepuff to shut someone up with a hex that makes you giggle," Ron muttered.

Some nights, Hermione would join the boys up in Gryffindor Tower to do her homework. People had finally stopped asking her personal questions.

Even though life had settled down for her somewhat, Hermione was looking forward to Winter Break when the castle would be mostly deserted. She was staying behind, along with Harry and Ron, and couldn't wait for the time to herself. She was counting down the days. Well, she was, until Dumbledore made the announcement.

Two weeks before break and Dumbledore stood up from his place at the head table and called everyone's attention. The hall went quiet, all eyes focusing on the headmaster.

"I have an announcement," he said, his eyes twinkling like mad. "Before everyone decides to leave for the holidays, I thought I should tell you that on Christmas day, Hogwarts will be holding a Holiday Dance."

The hall erupted with girl's excited murmurs and boys cursing like mad. Harry slumped in his seat while Ron looked like he was about to lose his dinner.

"I know a few of you were disappointed that the Halloween dance never took place, so this is to make up for the lost night," Dumbledore continued.

They were all dismissed and immediately the hall broke out into animated chatter.

"Do you remember the last dance I attended?" Harry demanded. "I made a bloody fool of myself."

"I wasn't much better," Ron grumbled. "The night was a disaster."

"You don't have to go," Hermione said cheerfully, remembering how much fun she'd had at the Yule Ball.

"Are you going, then?" Ron asked.

"Sure," she replied with a shrug. "I don't have any horrible memories of my Yule Ball to plague me."

"Goin' with Lupin?" Harry asked.

Hermione frowned. "You know, I don't know. Can someone who's married go to a social event with another person, when their spouse will also be there?"

"I think you'd have to take it up with Lupin," Harry replied.

Remus, it turned out, didn't care. Hermione, Ron, and Harry had trudged up to the private rooms and she'd asked.

"I don't care if you go with someone else, Hermione," Remus said with a smile. "I have to be a chaperone."

"DIBBS!" Ron yelled, snatching Hermione and pulling her close. He pointed a finger at Harry and snickered. "Ha ha ha! Now you have to find a real date!"

"Ron!" Hermione barked. "Let go of me! I'll go with whoever I want! And just because of your boorish behavior, I'm not going with you."

"But, Hermione!" Ron gasped.

"No, Ron," Hermione sniffed. "I think I'll go with Harry."

"But Harry can go with Ginny!" Ron said, looking panicked. "I don't wanna havta actually ask someone! C'mon Hermione!"

"You should have thought about that before being a prat," Hermione said sternly.

"I don't think Ginny would go with me anyway," Harry said. "She and Dean have been making eyes at each other for a while."

Ron's head whipped around fast enough that his neck cracked. "Dean? As in, Thomas? Dean Thomas? Our dorm mate?"

"Yeah," Harry said slowly.

"I didn't authorize that!" Ron yelled.

"You're not her supervisor, Ron," Hermione said angrily. "She's a human being, a fifteen year old one, and she can make her own decisions!"

"But I thought she liked Harry!"

"Perhaps she's moved on," Hermione said loudly, throwing her hands up in irritation.

"Like hell," Ron said.

"Oh, get over yourself," Hermione snapped.

"Children," Remus said mildly. Three heads turned to look at him. His tie was gone, as were his outer robes, and he looked amused but exhausted. "Please take this somewhere else."

Hermione shooed the boys out the portrait hole, but before she shut it she said, "And I've decided to go with neither of you. Good night!"

Harry didn't appear to care, but Ron looked horrified. She meandered back to the bedroom and found that Remus had flopped back onto the bed without taking off his clothes.

"Come on, sleepyhead," she teased, poking him in the leg. "You've got to get changed first."

"No," he mumbled, sounding like a petulant child.

"Yes," she said, smiling.

"That takes energy. Something I lack right at the moment."

She rolled her eyes and crawled up onto the bed next to him. Without asking for his permission, she started to unbutton his shirt.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm taking your clothes off," she replied. "Just like you did to me once."

"Do I get to wear your underwear, too?" he asked.

"Only if you ask nicely," she said with a laugh. He smiled without opening his eyes and let her undress him. It was just after the full moon and his energy levels weren't quite normal yet.

His first full moon of the marriage had been extremely anti-climatic. She'd been expecting something horrible to happen, just because nothing ever went according to plan in their lives, but everything had been fine. Remus had been locked up in his office, where he'd spent the night, and Snape retrieved him in the morning. Hermione had been up all night, worried sick, and when Snape came in supporting Remus, he'd sneered at her red eyes and dark circles. Remus had fallen asleep the moment he hit the bed. For the following days, he'd been tired but slowly regaining strength.

The full moon had been two days previous, and his strength was easily depleted still. He didn't move a muscle as she pulled his shirt from his trousers and finished unbuttoning it.

"You're going to need to sit up for me to take it off," she said. He pushed himself upright and winced. "Headache?"

He nodded.

"I'll grab you something for it in a minute," she said. The shirt was pulled off and she stared at his trousers. Remus flopped back and left her to it.

How strange. She'd never undressed him before. The previous full moon he'd done it himself, no matter how much it drained him. She rarely saw him half-clothed, and never naked. She'd yet to see his private bits.

Whenever they'd upheld the Marriage Law, they did it from behind. It was the most convenient and the least personal.

She tried to be as efficient as possible and not think about the fact that her hands were so near his crotch. She tugged the trousers down his legs and saw that he still had his shoes on.

"Bugger," she muttered.

The shoes slid off, followed by his socks and she stared. Now she knew where his tattoo was. On the ball of his right foot was a black paw print. She was dying to know what it was about, but she'd ask him later.

She slid the trousers the rest of the way off and tossed them onto the floor.

"Do you want to sleep in you boxers? Or would you prefer me to grab your pajamas?" she asked.

"Boxers," he mumbled.

"Then get on into bed," she said warmly.

"Mmf," he replied and didn't move.

"If you stay out like that, you'll get cold."

"Mmf."

"I could always ask Crookshanks to lay on you like a blanket," she said.

Remus forced himself up. The muscles in his arms and abs contracted and Hermione twitched a little at the heat that pooled in her abdomen. He'd gained more weight, no longer looking unhealthy. Now he was tall, broad, and muscular. He filled out his robes and Hermione noticed more than one female in Hogwarts admiring her husband.

Remus pulled the comforter up to his shoulders and collapsed onto his stomach, where he didn't move again. Hermione bit back a laugh and took off her own clothes. Down to her knickers, she went into the closet and pulled on her own pajamas.

Since he'd already fallen asleep, she didn't bother with the pain potion for his headache. It was probably tiredness that caused it anyway. Crookshanks crawled onto the bed before she could get there and curled up on Remus's bum.

"He won't thank you for that," Hermione said, eyeing the cat in amusement. Crookshanks purred loudly.


	11. Holiday Cheer

Hermione woke on Christmas morning sandwiched between her cat and her husband. Remus was pressed to her back and Crookshanks was curled up against her middle under the blankets. Groggily, she raised a hand to her face and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Remus was normally out of bed before she even woke up. Ever since that first morning when they'd woken up wrapped around each other, he'd made sure to be up and about by the time she awoke.

She took a moment to enjoy his hard body behind her and his long arm wrapped around her middle. His breathing was deep and even, ruffling her hair. Did he always sleep like this? Right next to her? Whenever they went to bed, there was always space between them. Crookshanks usually laid there like a barrier.

Remus shifted behind her, pulling her closer, and she felt something at her bum. Her eyes widened and her breath caught. That was his…

She poked Crookshanks, silently telling him to move, and her cat grumbled. Taking his sweet time, he crawled out from under the blanket and stared at her as if to say, "What?"

Gently, she pushed him over so that she could try to crawl out of Remus's embrace before he woke up. He would surely be mortified if he realized that she had felt his morning erection. Inspiration dawned and she realized that that was probably why he got up before her in the mornings, so that she didn't see it.

She gingerly picked up his hand and placed it on his own side. He slept on. As she eased her front away from him, he suddenly rolled onto his back. She stifled a giggle as his position made his lap all the more obvious. He wasn't wearing a shirt this morning. Sometimes he said he got too hot under the covers. She liked it when he wore so little to bed. She liked seeing his body. With it on display before her, she couldn't help herself as her small hands reached out to him.

She traced his scars, just like she had the morning after the wedding. There were so many and it broke her heart. She traced them all the way up to his neck. Because their relationship was only one of convenience, they weren't exactly close. They were friends, but nothing more. Because of that, she had never been able to touch him with him knowing it. It would be too awkward for him. He was rather shy around her, never looking at her as she got dressed or undressed, giving her privacy in the bathroom when she was washing, and never touching her aside from the mandatory intercourse once a week.

She desperately wanted them to have real sex again, like after the wedding. There was an ache in her that just wasn't being fulfilled. Now that she knew what sex was, she wanted more of it. She didn't know how to bring it up in a conversation. She was pretty sure she never would. It was too embarrassing! How does one admit to one's significant other that one wants a higher level of intimacy?

He'd never do it anyway. Though, she didn't know that. Surely he had to be suffering as well? Forced orgasm after one thrust couldn't be making him happy. Hermione guessed she'd never find out. Both of them were too shy about it. So she'd take what she could get of him while he was asleep, gently tracing his scars and touching his irresistible neck.

Hermione never thought she'd be one for chest hair, but she liked his. It was kind of soft at her touch. She had the inexplicable urge to rub her face in it. She wouldn't do that, however. Fingertips were one thing, a face was another. Surely he'd wake up.

She glanced at his lap again and saw that his erection had not gone away.

"It's normal," he said groggily. She snapped her head around.

"I'm sorry?" she asked.

He pointed to his lap. "Happens every morning." His cheeks were turning a charming shade of pink.

"Is that why you always get up before me?" she asked slyly. "So that I don't notice?"

His cheeks darkened and he looked away.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about," she said matter-of-factly. "I know it's normal."

He smiled at her and sat up. "I'm just not used to waking up next to someone. You're the first woman I've ever slept with."

She raised and eyebrow shrewdly.

"Oh! I've had sex with women," he said quickly. "But not technically slept with them."

"Oh, right," Hermione said, feeling stupid. But something about what he said nagged at her. "Then, have you slept with men?"

He went pale and stared at her. "What?" he rasped.

Suddenly, she regretted saying anything. "I-I just-that is to say-" She halted. What could she possible say?

He turned away and threw back the covers, preparing to get out of bed.

"Wait!" she cried, hurrying over and wrapping her hand around his middle from behind. He went rigid, with his legs over the side of the bed, and waited. "I saw the picture of you and Sirius and I just assumed – I'm sorry. It was stupid of me. Please don't be angry."

He didn't speak for a moment. His muscles were tense under her palm but she was afraid of letting him go. She didn't want things even more awkward between them.

"What picture?" he asked softly.

"On the mantle," she replied. "You two were dancing at the Potter's wedding. You looked so…and I just thought…but I'm wrong and I'm sorry and I'll never bring it up again."

He was silent for so long that Hermione moved to pull her hand away and sit back, allowing him to get up, but he caught her hand and held it to his stomach.

"You weren't wrong," he said hoarsely. "Sirius and I…we were together. It wasn't made public. Only our closest friends knew. I didn't want to tell you. I didn't think it would matter and I wasn't sure how you'd react."

That surprised her. She shuffled closer and spread her legs on either side of him. Wrapping her other arm around his middle, she hugged him from behind.

"It doesn't bother me at all," she said softly. "Why would it? But does it make this…between us… difficult for you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if you like men, then sleeping with a woman must be weird."

"Oh," he said, then chuckled a little. "No. The strange thing was that I always liked women. Never had I liked men before Sirius, and no one since. It was just him. Sirius was a total homosexual. He didn't want his family to know, so he became kind of a playboy at school."

She squeezed him around the middle. "I'm glad you told me." He rubbed her hand against his skin and she sighed. "Get back in bed. We have presents."

She let go of him and pulled up the covers. She glanced at his crotch in curiosity and saw that his erection was gone. She only then realized how little she knew of the organ.

He levitated the gifts onto the bed and they tore into them. They were soon surrounded by wrapping paper and ribbon, laughing and chatting about their gifts. As usual, Hermione mostly received books. This was perfectly fine with her. There was still room on the bookshelves in the other room.

When Remus reached for the gift from her, she halted her present-unwrapping to watch. He tore through the paper and stared at the gift.

"It's a quill," he said in surprise.

"It's a self-refilling quill," she said quickly, unable to tell if he liked it. "You'll never run out of ink. They're becoming quite popular."

"I've seen these," he murmured. "I always wanted one. Thank you, Hermione."

He smiled warmly at her and she blushed, pleased with herself. He tossed her a large package and she read the tag. Seeing it was from him, she ripped in enthusiastically. She saw light brown leather and frowned in confusion. Pulling away the rest of the paper, she saw that it was a book bag. She smiled to be polite, but she already had a bag.

"Before you judge it," he said, "you should know that it's charmed. No matter how much you put into it, it will never weigh anything."

"Oh!" she gasped in delight.

"I know that you carry more books than anyone ever should have to, and I thought this would be helpful."

"Thank you so much!" She leaned over and absently kissed him on the cheek and then hopped out of bed.

"So what are your plans until the dance tonight?" she asked, picking up her gifts and reaching for the ruined wrapping paper.

"I plan to do absolutely nothing," he replied. "I'm going to lay in bed and read one of my new books. What are you going to do?"

She sighed, tossing the trash away walking to the closet. "The boys are putting together a massive snowball fight. I, apparently, must be there."

"You sound like you'd rather lie around in bed a read a book as well."

She disappeared into the closet to put on warm clothes. "You have no idea," she called out. "Ron never plays fair and then gets mad whenever someone gets him. Harry has irritatingly perfect aim, and Ginny's almost as bad. I'm hoping some of the other girls from the dorm come down so that I can sit with them."

"I'm sure that once they're deep into the game, they won't notice if you mysteriously vanish."

She grinned and walked out of the closet, holding her clothes for the battle.

"You read my mind," she said. "But if I have other people to sit with, it won't be so bad."

He looked away towards his book when she reached for the hem of her shirt and she bit back a sigh. He was too much a gentleman for his own good. She dressed quickly, throwing on her denims and boots, thick sweater and jacket. She tossed her hair up into a ponytail and grabbed her watch.

"I'll be back around five-ish anyway to get ready," she said. "It takes about that long to tame the wild beast." She pointed to her hair.

He looked over and grinned, his tawny eyes bright with laughter. "I like your hair. The twins do too, actually."

"Really? How do you know?"

"The morning of our wedding, all the Weasleys and Harry arrived to keep me company," he said, laying back onto his pillow and watching her lace her boots. "They listed your many attributes, ranging from your neatness, to your big brown eyes, to your wonderfully wild hair. I do believe one said that it was the kind that a man wanted to get his hands into."

Hermione looked at him in shock and then blushed bright red_. If only,_ she thought. He laughed at her discomfort and she retaliated by reaching over and flicking his ear.

"I'm leaving!" she said shrilly. "Enjoy your day of doing nothing!"

His laughter followed her out of the room.

* * *

The snowball fight had turned from a fun game between friends, to a battle raged by their entire year. Hermione sat on the front steps with Lavender, Parvati, Padma, and Hannah Abbot and watched as all the boys of their year, including Ginny, let out battle cries and chased each other with snow. Sometimes they'd try to hit the girls sitting on the steps, but Hermione would lazily wave her wand and the errant snowball would go racing back to whoever threw it.

"He's so cute," Parvati said wistfully. Her dark head was tilted to the side and her brown eyes looked longingly out at the players.

"Who is?" Hermione asked.

"Justin," Padma replied with a long-suffering sigh. "She's been mooning after him all year."

"Shut up!" Parvati hissed.

"Well then don't talk about him!" Padma snapped back.

Hermione kept her mouth shut. She looked over at Justin, who indeed looked rather dashing with his wind-swept dark hair and laughing expression. He was quite good-looking, but what Hermione knew and everyone else didn't was that Justin didn't exactly swing Parvati's way. As a matter of fact, he swung the way of a different gender. She'd walked in on him with another Hufflepuff boy last year. Justin had been in a panic until Hermione calmed him down and said that she would never tell anyone.

So she just sat back and watched in amusement as Parvati eyed him longingly.

"It's like he doesn't even see me," Parvati finally said, pouting. "I was rather hoping, what with the law and everything…"

"Are you serious?" Hermione demanded. The four girls all looked at her at the same time. "You _want_ to get married before you're out of school? You want to be tied to someone you have a crush on for the rest of your life? What if the crush goes away and you find yourself in love with someone else? You can't just get a divorce."

"Is that what's happened to you?" Hannah asked hesitantly.

"What? No," Hermione replied dismissively. "Not at all. I just think it's dumb to marry a school crush. Look at most of the other couples already married! They're ready to kill each other!"

"And then there are _some_," Parvati said primly, "that are obviously meant for each other."

"How can Justin be meant for you if he doesn't even know you exist?" Lavender asked Parvati shrewdly.

Parvati's mouth dropped open and she stared at her best friend in shock. The two then began a hushed argument that Hermione tuned out. Instead, she focused on her friends. Harry was obviously having a good time. He pelted everyone easily and was laughing loudly. Ron was not having as good of a time. He was having trouble with his aim and his face kept getting redder as time went on and she was sure it wasn't from the cold.

And then there was Ginny. Obviously, something was going on between her and Dean Thomas. They tried to be discreet about it, but some things are just too obvious. Like how he looks at her in adoration, and how she glances at him all too often. Sometimes he'd chase around and he'd 'catch' her and they'd go tumbling down. If Ron ever noticed…

"How's your marriage, Hermione?" Hannah asked suddenly. The bickering next to her stopped suddenly and she then had four sets of eyes on her again.

"Um, fine?" she replied.

"Do you get along, then?" Lavender asked.

"Yes, quite well actually," Hermione said.

There was an awkward silence. Parvati absently bounced her knee, not looking away from Hermione. Padma twirled her hair. Hannah played with her fingernails. Lavender, however, narrowed her eyes.

"Oh come on, Hermione," she said with a huff. "Give us _something_."

"Like what?" Hermione asked nervously.

"Like what is like in bed!" Lavender squealed. The other girls gasped and giggled, leaning forward to hear her answer.

"What?" Hermione squeaked.

"We know you have to do it at least once a week," Lavender continued. "And since he is easily the best looking professor, some people are curious!"

Hermione stared at the girls in shock. "Are you kidding me?"

"Of course not," Parvati replied. "Some of us have had crushes on him since third year. Now that we know someone who would know these things, we want some answers."

"Absolutely not!" Hermione said, turning back to the snowball fight without really seeing it.

"Come on!" Padma moaned. "Please?"

"No!"

"Is he at least a good kisser?" Hannah asked. Unbidden, an image from their wedding night where he snogged her senseless came to her mind and she hated herself when she blushed. The girls squealed in delight and leaned closer.

"They say a good kisser is a good lover as well," Lavender said knowingly.

"Oh, who says that?" Parvati snapped.

"People!" Lavender bit back.

Hermione sighed and stood up. There was no way she could stay if this was how the conversation was going to go.

"I have to go get ready," she said quickly. "I'll see you all later!"

They called after her to come back, but she was already running away as fast as she could.

* * *

Remus sat at the head table and watched the holiday merriment before him in pure amusement. There was a live band, a group of unknown young men in pants that were too tight and shirts that were too small, but they sounded good. One whole side of the great hall was packed with dancing students. They jumped up and down as one so that they looked like some massive organism. Ron, Harry, and Hermione, all dateless, danced around together.

At the beginning of the evening they'd just sort of shifted around from one foot to the other but as the night wore on, their dancing became more exuberant. Looking at all the faces before him, he wondered idly if the punch bowl had been spiked. There was a lot of unsteadiness, bawdy laughter, and lascivious groping. He knew that as a chaperone, he should stop such activity, but he didn't care enough.

Hermione extricated herself from the crowd and made her way unsteadily to the refreshment table. She got another glass of whatever was in the bowl and meandered up to the head table. He watched closely and sure enough, her eyes were glazed and her cheeks were pink. She sat gracelessly in the chair to his right and gave him a sloppy grin.

"Hullo, Remus," she said cheerfully.

"Hello, Hermione," he replied. "Are you drunk?"

Her mouth dropped open comically. She hadn't meant for it to be, as a matter of fact she probably thought she looked indignant, but really her mouth was open too wide and her eyes popped a little. He couldn't help it; he laughed.

"I am not _drunk!_" she said forcefully, leaning forward a bit. "I've never been drunk in my_ life!_ I've never even had _alcohol!_"

Had the music not been so loud, she probably would have attracted a lot of attention to herself, but luckily it was only Remus who heard her.

"Really?" he said mildly.

"Yesh really!" she slurred. She licked her lips with a frown and tried again. "YeSSS, really. Huh, I can't feel my mouth."

He lifted the cup out of her hand and took a drink. Immediately he choked and put the cup aside.

"God!" he gasped. "That's almost straight firewhiskey!"

She frowned at the cup and then shrugged. "It tasted good, at least. So this is what it's like to be drunk?"

Still sputtering, he glanced at her in shock. "How could you not tell?"

"I just thought it was holiday cheer or something," she said vaguely.

"Yes, Hermione. That was a lot of cheer."

She smiled benignly and then sat up straight. Unfortunately, she was too inebriated to sit up perfectly straight and ended up leaning sideways.

"Hey!" she said, bouncing in her seat. "You have to dance with me!"

"I do?" he asked in amusement.

"Yes! They made an announcement that all married couples are gonna have a dance soon!"

Ah, yes. He'd heard that little announcement. He'd hoped that he would conveniently have taken a bathroom break at that moment.

"Hermione, you can barely sit, let alone dance."

"You'll jus' have to hold me then, won' you?"

He looked heavenward, praying for help. He didn't want to hold her. Well, that wasn't true. He wanted to hold her too much, which is why he couldn't hold her at all. It was wrong and bad of him to even think of her that way.

"It's jus' a dance, Remus," she said, leaning forward. Her hair was coming down from its neat twist. Right then, with her eyes all sleepy and her hair a mess, she was temptation incarnate.

As if someone had heard his prayers and decided to have fun at his expense, the lead band member began to speak.

"Okay everyone, now it's time for just our married couples to come out," he said with an annoying amount of cheer.

"Let's go!" she said with a smile. She stood up and immediately almost fell over. He was up and had her steady in his arms before he had time to think. Believing that that meant he'd agreed, she grabbed his arm and stumbled her way over to the dance floor.

The band began a slow song, something dramatically romantic. Remus sighed unhappily and tugged her close.

"Just hold on and try not to fall over," he said.

"It's a slow one!" she said happily. "We don't even have to do anything other than lean side to side."

"And you're doing that well enough without the music."

She snorted and leaned her head onto his chest. Warily, he looked around. To his surprise, no one really noticed them. It appeared that just about everyone in the room was drunk. Couples leaned into each other, some were even kissing. People were scattered around the sides of the room, all too wobbly to be sober. Even Harry was hanging onto Ron to stay up. He had his arm around his neck and his dark head was laying on Ron's shoulder.

"How did everyone get so drunk?" he asked, not really expecting an answer.

"I think it's Seamus," she replied, speaking into his robes.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because he's pouring something into the punch bowl right now."

Remus looked over and sure enough, there was Finnegan pouring something clear into the punch bowl. He saw Remus frown at him and he stopped, vanishing into the crowd with a horrified look on his face. The dance continued on until a couple off to the side fell over. They were laughing much too loud which called the attention of McGonagall. She stomped over, glared at them long and hard, and then marched up to the stage where the band was. She ripped the microphone away from the lead singer, who looked at her in alarm, and she faced the crowd. The other musicians stopped playing abruptly.

"This dance is now over," she said sternly, ignoring the groans that followed her statement. "You all will now go directly to your dorms and each house will lose fifty points for imbibing alcohol and not telling a professor that the punch had alcohol in it. This is extremely inappropriate behavior and each of you deserve the hangovers you will all have in the morning."

With that, she hung up the microphone and turned to the band, who looked at her gobsmacked. The people around them on the floor made their way to the door, all grumbling about the abrupt end to the evening. Hermione didn't seem to care.

"I'm rather tired," she said suddenly.

"I'll bet," he replied with a smile. "Come on, let's go home."

She followed him happily enough, letting him tug her to the door. Unfortunately when they tried to pass through, they couldn't. It was like an invisible wall had suddenly sprung up. Looking around in alarm, he didn't notice the snickers and laughs behind him right away.

"Ooooohhhh!" someone said suddenly. "They got caught by the enchanted mistletoe!"

Remus's groan of irritation was drowned in a sea of gasps, giggles, and whistles. Hermione glared up at the mistletoe tied above the door.

"Stupid plant," she grumbled. Enchanted mistletoe captured a couple under itself until the two had kissed, no matter who they are. The two were not allowed to leave until they'd kissed on the mouth. Hermione gave him a resigned looked at tilted her head back so that he'd only have to lean over.

Everyone whistled louder and soon they began to chant, "Kiss her! Kiss her!" Never more mortified in his life, Remus leaned down and hesitantly pressed his lips to hers. Cheers and catcalls erupted around them. Remus pulled back and now easily propelled Hermione out the door, not looking at the group behind them. Judging from the new whistles and cheers, another couple had been caught in the mistletoe.

Hermione stumbled along, gripping his arm rather hard. Every time she'd trip, an accompanying giggle would ripple down the hallway. Remus tried not to be amused, but the truth was that he'd never seen Hermione as anything less than perfectly put-together. She had to be one of the most proper people he'd ever met, and here she was tripping over nothing and giggling like a child.

He looked down at her as they made a turn onto the hallway where their portrait hole was and his heart stumbled in his chest. She was grinning; her cheeks were rosy and her glazed eyes warm. He couldn't help but grin back at her, even though he really didn't have an excuse.

Once back inside their rooms, she didn't let go of his arm. Instead, she looked at him quite seriously. Or rather, she tried.

"You know," she said. "We should really change the password."

"Why?"

"Because 'open' is too easy. Anyone could figure that out."

"Let's talk about it when you're sober."

"I'm fine!" she said loudly. "Perfectly fine!"

"Uh-huh," he replied blandly.

He led her around the couch and into the bedroom, where he tried to pry her hand off of his arm but she didn't appear to want to let go.

"Hermione, my arm-"

"You know what?" she said suddenly. Remus sighed.

"What?"

"Alcohol makes me feel strange things."

"It does that to a lot of people," Remus said. "No, I need my arm."

She shoved herself away from him and made her way to the bed, unbuttoning herself along the way. Remus turned to the closet but stopped when she called his name.

"Yes?" he asked, turning back to her. He went still, his heart stopping entirely. She was naked. Her robes, knickers, everything were gone. All that were left were her silver high heeled shoes.


	12. Happy Christmas

_**Lots of people have wondered what's going to happen next and have unanimously decided it must be lemons. I'm fascinated to see what you think about what really happens...**_

* * *

"Can I ask you somthin?" she slurred.

"Ah, what's that?" he rasped.

"Do you find me attractive at all?"

Oh, dear lord. This couldn't be happening.

"Er, why do you ask?" he said, looking determinedly at her face, not the perfect body attached to it.

She pouted prettily, sticking her lower lip out. She wasn't acting like herself at all; Hermione would never pout. She'd never strip down naked in front of a man if she weren't intoxicated. The thought was only a mild relief. He had no idea what to do with her right now.

"You never look at me," she said sadly. "When I change, you look away."

"I thought that would make you more comfortable," he mumbled.

"No," she said, stepping closer to him. Six feet separated them. Quite a ways. He was still safe.

"It, ah, doesn't make you more comfortable to have me look away?"

"Silly man. You don't look away to make me more comfortable."

"I don't?" Remus said in a high voice.

"Nope," she replied, taking another step closer. "You do it so that you can't see me. You're not looking away now, though."

He blinked and looked down, furious with himself. _Child, _he thought_. She's only a child._

"No no no," she said sternly. "Don't do that. I _like_ it when you look at me."

"Hermione," Remus said in a strangled voice, looking up at the ceiling. "This is entirely inappropriate."

"No it isn't," she replied. "We're married, aren't we?"

"You're too young-"

"What?" she snapped. Against his will, he looked into her eyes. They weren't as glazed now; instead they were furious. "I'm seventeen, Remus!"

"Exactly," he said. "Young and-"

"Seventeen year-olds can't want sex?" she demanded.

Robbed of his voice, Remus just stared at her. She stomped up to him (stumbling only once) and poked him in the chest.

"I beg to differ if you honestly think that!" she said. "Look at the other married couples in this castle! Horny, the lot of them!"

"Yes, and they're all matched in age!" he snapped back, at his wits end.

"So, what then? Am I to be sexless for the rest of my life because you have a guilty conscience?" Her eyes, so angry a moment ago, now looked hopeless. "Are you going to be like this forever?"

"Hermione," Remus said softly, uncertainly. "This is so wrong."

"So what if it is?" she asked. "Everyone thinks we do it anyway."

"_I_ know we don't."

"And does that make you feel better?" she asked. He hesitated and her eyes lit with triumph. "You want it too. You can't feel sated, with what we do."

"It doesn't matter," he said roughly.

"It matters to me!" she yelled. He flinched back into the wall behind him. "Do you not comprehend that I might be suffering? Every bloody week you're right there and I have to keep my mouth shut because of your misplaced sensibilities! I just want – I just –"

She turned away and crumpled to the floor. Alarmed, he hurried forward and dropped to her side. When he realized she was crying, his chest seemed to clench. He was swarmed by conflicting emotions and too embarrassed to ask, he just closed his eyes and let himself feel what she couldn't say.

She was…sad. Lonely. There was a deep depression within her that she'd kept very well-hidden from him but that was coming out quite clearly now that she was drunk.

"Hermione," he murmured. "What's wrong?"

"I dare not say," she sneered. Her eyes, now narrowed at him, were red-rimmed and still leaking tears.

"Please tell me," he said softly. Her face fell.

He nearly winced at what he felt now. Her loneliness and depression were slowly molding into despair. Against his better judgment, he sat next to her and pulled her naked body into his lap. He held her close when she went limp and let her head fall back over his arm. Staring at the ceiling, she was quiet for many moments. When she spoke, her voice was dead.

"I feel like an island," she said.

"How so?" Remus whispered.

"No one gets close to me anymore," she said. "The boys don't understand. It started with the marriage thing. Now we talk, but it's nothing like it was before. Then I lost my parents. They treat me like a bomb that might go off at any moment."

"I see," he replied.

"And I never see Ginny anymore," she continued. "I thought I might be able to talk to her at least, but this is her OWL year and she's too busy. I don't really have any other friends."

His heart ached for her. Pulling her closer, he closed his eyes.

"And then there's you," she said. His breath caught, wondering what she would say. "We're barely even friends. I thought with time we'd be more comfortable with each other, but you only get farther and farther away. And now I realize it's about something that I cannot fix. I can't be older for you."

"It's not your fault, Hermione."

"I know it, and that makes it worse. If I could just fix it, if we could just be friends, then it wouldn't be so bad. But I cannot make you see that I'm not a child. I cannot force you to realize that I need you, that I need someone, anyone. No one will have me. I've lost my closest friends and I can't even rely on my husband." His heart broke, right then and there. He felt it rip down the middle. "You know the worst part?"

He swallowed, fighting the burning in this throat. "No, what?" he said.

"It's no one's fault," she whispered. More tears leaked out of her open eyes, but she didn't seem to notice. "They can't help how they feel, just like you can't help how you feel. I've always been the odd one. Whether it was because I was the teacher's pet or because I was just smarter than everyone else, I was always different. I should be used to being my own island by now. I guess I never noticed before. Now that I have, it hurts more than I thought."

She went silent then, completely limp in his arms and still staring at the ceiling. Remus didn't know what to say. He couldn't tell her the truth, as it would likely scare her.

"I wanna go t'bed," she mumbled.

"Alright," he said.

He carried her over to their king bed and set her on her feet. Tugging the covers back, she crawled in. She still had her shoes on.

"Hermione," he said. "Your shoes-"

But she was already asleep. He sighed and removed them himself. Once she was settled and tucked in, he back away and simply looked at her. Even with her eyes closed, they were still puffy. Leaning back into the wall by the door, he thought on what she'd said to him.

He'd no idea that the boys were acting different, but then she'd known them for years. And it sounded like something a teenage boy would do, back away from any emotional kind of scene. Especially Harry, who'd had to deal with rough emotions his whole life. Most likely they'd thought it would be helpful not to even bring her life up. He smiled, imagining her stuck in conversations about Quidditch and the latest merchandise from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

It hadn't occurred to Remus that her friends would treat her different after everything that had happened. When he'd had any sort of trouble when James and Sirius had been alive, they'd been right there for him, always helpful. But then, they were all males as well. Remus had idea how to figure out the female mind. Even just tonight, she'd gone from trying to be a temptress (and succeeding a bit) to an empty shell. Obviously, the temptress façade was just that – fake. It worried him that Hermione might actually be becoming depressed.

And that he might be at fault. Sweet, silly girl. She had no idea the effect she had on him. Yes, her age bothered him but he knew better than anyone that the number of years someone had lived did not necessarily show their age. He was a perfect example. He'd never been young. Harry hadn't either. Some people just weren't given that stage of innocence in life.

If he were honest with himself, he knew that he wanted her more than could possibly be healthy. Now, he just didn't know why. It was an unholy temptation every night that she lay by his side, sometimes in his arms. He'd never had such a base reaction to anyone – not even Sirius.

But he just couldn't act on it. The thought had occurred to him, multiple times, but there were some things that were hard to forget. She was a student. She was Harry's best friend. And she was too good for him, though there was nothing to be done for it. She was stuck with him, no matter what. If he had known how everything was going to turn out, he would have flatly refused to enter into such an arrangement.

Pushing himself away from the wall, he went into the living room and poured himself a brandy from the often-forgotten bottle on his mantle. He then flopped gracelessly onto his couch. The fire was still going in the grate and he stared at the dancing flames absently as he continued to think.

It wasn't just her body that he was attracted to. He would frequently find himself charmed by her little quirks. Her side of the bathroom sink was perfectly clean and arranged. Out of curiosity one day, he'd looked into the drawers and found everything lined up in neat little rows and grouped together by subcategories. Things for her skin, her teeth, and her hair were all put away accordingly. Same for her clothes and shoes. She made him look like a right slob. The thought made him smile as he took a drink.

He also liked her after-class regimen. She'd come home, usually bringing the boys with her, and would sit them down and make them finish their homework. Most of the time Remus wasn't there, rather in his office grading his papers, but sometimes he was home and would grade in his favorite chair. She was usually bent over her own homework, furiously writing away as the boys procrastinated. They made good use of the parchment attached to the kitchens, ordering enough food to feed an army. Hermione would frown, no doubt bothered by the work the house-elves put into it, but said nothing. Before shooing the boys out, she'd give them one last lecture about getting their work done on time.

As her homework was nearly always done early, she'd then curl up with a book on the couch. Usually her demon-cat would lay with her. She'd already read everything on his shelves (twice no doubt), and was back to working her way through the library. He believed that could finish the whole thing before she left the school.

And when she went to bed, she'd busy herself in the bathroom. He'd never look, knowing it would be too much of a temptation, but she'd come to bed with a clean face, brushed and braided hair, and minty breath. And when she slept, her hands curled up by her smother face, she looked like an angel.

For their weekly 'duties', as they called them, they'd retreat to the bedroom. They'd each take their potion at the same time and then she'd turn away to remove the clothing covering her lower half. It didn't take much more than that to get him hard and ready. Being inside of her tight warmth was heaven itself, even though it lasted no more than three seconds. He wished more than anything that he could take her like he wished; slow and soft until she was moaning his name. Or hard and fast as she screamed for him.

Immediately he shied away from the thought. The last thing he needed right now was to get hard, though it would be the first time in a long time that he'd had his apartment basically to himself. When Hermione moved in, it was like saying good-bye to a leisurely wank whenever he wanted. She was always there when he was. Now, though, she was passed out in a firewhisky-induced coma. He could probably rub one off without her the wiser.

It was tempting, but after what she'd said tonight it would hardly be fair. The poor girl was probably one big mass of sex-starved nerves and he knew he was the only one who could fix it.

No, he'd do nothing about it. It was only fair. She had to suffer, more so than he, so he'd suffer right along with her. Gulping down the rest of his brandy (and grimacing at the burn), he set his glass aside and went back to the bedroom. Hermione hadn't moved.

Feeling a nice buzz from his drink, he pulled off his clothes and left them on the floor. He'd deal with them in the morning. Left only in his boxers, he crawled into bed next to his wife. Her face was puckered in sleep this night, not smooth and care-free like usual. Hesitantly, he reached out and touched her brow. She mumbled something incoherent and frowned harder before relaxing completely against his touch.

Emboldened, he continued to trace her face. He'd never really touched her like this. He'd hugged her (rarely) and held her hand (even more rarely). He'd held her in his sleep, but that didn't really count, as he'd not been conscious to appreciate it. Now, with her face so close to his and so open, he could appreciate just how lovely she was. Not beautiful, really. She was much to interesting to be a classic beauty. Her face was too round, her mouth too wide. She had a cute, pert little nose and humongous brown eyes with delicately arched brows. Put them all together and you had a pretty, but plain face. He found that he liked it enormously.

Her hair was going to be a mess in the morning. It was still held mostly in place by pins. _That can't be comfortable_, he thought to himself. He reached around her head awkwardly and began to pull the pins from her hair. Negligently, he tossed them over the side of the bed as he removed them. There were a bloody ton, but finally he could sift his fingers through her wild curls and not find anymore.

Suddenly, Hermione moaned slightly. He went still, staring at her face, his heart pounding.

"That feels nice," she said quietly, not opening her eyes. Timidly, he continued to rub her scalp. She sighed and seemed to melt into her pillow a bit. With a quiet laugh he realized she was still asleep.

He played with her hair and rubbed her skull lightly for a while, enjoying the different textures and the small smile on her lips. Unfortunately his hand became tired after a while and he had to stop. But instead of pulling away as normally would, he wrapped his arm around her back and pulled her to his chest gently. It wasn't until he felt her skin against his front that he remembered she was still naked. He took a deep, cleansing breath, and held onto her. He could master himself.

But then she leaned into his neck and sighed. It was obvious that this was where she wanted to be, even in her sleep. The thought cut him deeply. He thought he'd been doing the right thing by keeping her away. But if she was in so much pain, if she was so unhappy, how could it be right? He'd been selfish. He hadn't considered her at all in his decision to push her away. Mistakenly, he'd thought it would be best for her.

Fate was one cruel bitch.

He pressed a kiss to her forehead, inhaling her sweet scent (marred slightly by the firewhisky smell that clung to her) before whispering, "Happy Christmas, Hermione."

"Mmmm," she sighed. "Happy Christmas, Remus."


	13. Something's Different

**LEMONS AHEAD! TURN AWAY IF YOU'RE OFFENDED!

* * *

  
**

Something was different. Something had changed. She could pinpoint the exact moment when it did – The morning following Christmas.

She'd woken up with a blistering headache to find herself in Remus's arms for the second day in a row. That in itself was strange enough, but then she looked up into his face and saw that he was wide awake. He'd smiled at her, wished her a good morning, and gotten up to get ready for the day. It took her a few moments, but she realized with total shock that she was naked. He'd been holding her while she was naked. Not only that, but he'd been watching her sleep. And _then_ he'd smiled at her. Not polite smile that never reached his eyes, like he usually gave her. No, this one made his eyes crinkle. This one made her heart stutter for a moment before it throbbed in her chest.

After that, things began to change. He didn't treat her like an acquaintance. He treated her like a friend, a companion. He smiled more, talked more, and he touched her more. Nothing truly earth-shattering if you thought about it but for some reason, her pulse would quicken whenever he'd touch her shoulder or her face would heat up in a blush every time he took her hand.

It was truly ridiculous.

The worst part was that she had no idea what brought this change on. She had a horrible feeling that she did something on Christmas, but she'd had so much to drink that she didn't remember much past the beginning of the dance, where she sort of bopped side-to-side with Harry and Ron. After that, there's nothing until waking up in Remus's arms.

The thought made her blush and smile before she frowned. She was beyond ridiculous.

She just wished she knew what, exactly, she'd done. She had to have done something. Had she tried to force herself on him? No, he would be even more distant. Did she do something amusing? Or worse, embarrassing? She could ask him, she supposed, but she'd rather saw her tongue in half.

For now, she'd just go with it. Certainly she was enjoying it too much to do anything that might make it stop. But her marriage life wasn't the only that had changed. Frowning, she remembered breakfast the day after Christmas.

She'd been sitting at the Gryffindor table with her aching head in her hands when Ron and Harry had ambled up and plopped down across from her. Harry looked like she felt, with his pale face and dark circles under his eyes. He hadn't looked at her, but instead at the glass of pumpkin juice he poured.

"Alright, Hermione?" Ron asked with a yawn, reaching for some toast.

"Er, headache actually," she replied.

Ron nodded. Harry, it appeared, was ignoring them.

"I was right sick this morning, let me tell you," Ron said. "I had my head in the toilet for a good hour but now I'm fine."

"Well that's good then," Hermione replied before turning to Harry. "How are you this morning?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Harry demanded with a glare.

"W-what?" Hermione stuttered.

"Do I look different?" he snapped. "Do I look like I've changed?"

"That's not what I said-"

"Whatever," he said with a glower, standing to his feet. "I'm going to go work on my essay."

He then stomped off, leaving both her and Ron staring after him – Ron with toast hanging out of his mouth.

"What was that about?" Hermione asked.

"Erm," Ron swallowed his toast and then looked above her head uncomfortably. "I think it's because he got caught in the enchanted mistletoe last night."

"Really?" Hermione asked, curious. "With who?"

"Uhm, well, it was me, actually."

Hermione stared at Ron for a good full ten seconds before responding. "What?"

"Yeah, we got stuck in it right after you," Ron said with a forced laugh, staring down at his plate. "We were pissed drunk and we had to, y'know, to get out of it, and so I just smacked one on him. It didn't mean anything."

"Of course not," Hermione said weakly. "So you think that's why he's…?"

"Acting like an arse?"

"Yeah."

"I think so. He won't look at me and has hardly spoken two words all morning. I told him it was nothing! Tons of people got stuck together. We weren't the only blokes."

Hermione hummed noncommittally. Normally, Harry would have laughed it off after looking uncomfortable for a while. But he just seemed so…mad. After that, Hermione watched him curiously. As time went on, he and Ron seemed to have a mind-swap. Ron became happier, more jovial. He didn't look at Hermione with resentment anymore and seemed to become more comfortable with her marriage, even going so far as to shake Remus's hand one night when he, Hermione, and Harry had been in her living room working on homework. There seemed to be no more animosity whatsoever and the change from before confused Hermione more than she could put into words.

And then there was Harry. He was suddenly sullen, angry, and mean. He'd snap at the drop of a hat and usually left their company after only a few minutes. He was mostly silent now and hated it whenever someone touched him, even by accident. It was worrying Hermione quite a bit. He was acting like he had last year, when he had that bond with Voldemort.

After about three days of it, she voiced her concerns to Ron.

"I'm just worried that something has happened that he hasn't told us about," she said lowly as they walked through the halls. Harry had just left them angrily again and was charged down the hallway in front of them.

"I am too," Ron replied. "I've been waiting to go to sleep after he does, to see if he's been having nightmares like last time. But he's been sleeping like a baby. I think it has something to do with Ginny."

"Ginny?" Hermione asked. "Why?"

"Well I sort of compared him to me after, you know, when you married Lupin," Ron said, looking at his feet in embarrassment. "He's acting like I did and you know that Ginny's with Thomas now."

His face darkened so Hermione quickly said, "But did he even like her?"

"Course he did," Ron said stoutly. "Everyone has a crush on Ginny."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "That doesn't mean Harry did."

"I've known since second year that they were meant to be together. It's Thomas who's ruining everything."

"Oh, stop it Ron," Hermione snapped. "I don't think it has anything to do with Ginny."

But just to be sure, she kept a closer eye on Harry whenever Ginny was around. To her satisfaction, she could rule out Ginny as being the cause. He treated her with the exact same amount of animosity that he had for everyone else. Though, admittedly, Ron was on the receiving end of most outbursts. It could be because of the mistletoe kiss, or it could be because Ron was acting so bloody cheerful all the time. It was like he was looking at life through new eyes. Hermione thought that he might have lost his virginity (Seamus had the same look on his face at the beginning of the year and wouldn't shut up about Hannah from Hufflepuff for weeks). If that was the case, she didn't want to know.

So between her friends, she was going to end up with whiplash. From warm friendship from Ron to angry outbursts from Harry, she didn't what to do or say at any given moment.

Now, laying on her stomach on the bed and staring at the fire, she still couldn't figure it out. Though, if she were honest with herself, she wasn't trying very hard. It was Friday, their designated Duty Day. It used to be Saturday, but they changed it because Saturdays were supposed to be days of rest and they found that they were too nervous throughout the day until the moment of truth. She supposed they could just do it in the morning, but it seemed like it should be something done at night with as much darkness as possible. So it became Friday night instead.

Remus hadn't come back from his classroom yet. Part of her was nervous. Would his change around her extend to this as well? The very thought sent a flutter to her abdomen. There'd been nothing to indicate that their intimacy in this situation would increase, but she hoped. Something inside of her burned for what they did not do.

She perked up, looking to the bedroom door when she heard the portrait swing open.

"Hermione?" his raspy voice called out.

"In the bedroom!" she called back, then mentally smacked herself for sounding breathless.

He entered a few moments later, looking somehow tired yet animated at the same time. His eyes brightened somewhat when they landed on her. Nothing brilliant, but enough to make her pulse pick up a little.

"How are you?" she asked, pushing herself up into a seated position.

"Quite well, really," he replied. "Yourself?"

She just nodded. He tossed a stack of parchments onto a small table and pulled his outer robes off. She bit her lip nervously. He wasn't acting any different…

"Shall we do this now then?" he asked. Was there a slight edge to his voice? Did he sound a bit nervous?

"Sure," she said in a high voice. "The boys will be around later so… yeah."

"Alright."

He pulled open the drawer in the bedside cabinet as she hopped up off the bed. They reached for their own vials and Hermione bit back her disappointment when he downed his potion. With the smallest of sighs, she drank down her contraceptive potion. Feeling somewhat pouty, she turned away and reached for her jean button.

"Wait."

She went still at his soft command. His hands appeared on her shoulders and her heart began to throb in her chest.

"Yes?"

"May I?"

She swallowed thickly and dropped her hands. What was he doing? She stood absolutely still as his hands softly trailed down her arms and then went to her jeans. He pressed himself against her back as he unbuttoned her and pulled the zip down. She was quite certain she'd forgotten how to breathe. Slowly, almost hesitantly, he reached into the sides of her open denims and pushed the material down. Without a word, she stepped out of them.

He then took her shoulders again and turned her to face him. She gave him a questioning look but he just pushed her backwards back onto the bed. Now she seemed to be breathing too loud. She tried to calm herself, to try to be slightly more worldly. But she couldn't stop panting, her heart wouldn't slow down. She bit her lips shut as he reached forward and began to unbutton her shirt. She watched his hands in awed curiosity.

They were so much darker than her skin and they had calluses. These were the hands of a man who had not had an easy life. And right now, they were removing her shirt. With all of the buttons taken care of, he gestured for her to slip it off. She complied, leaving her clad only in her plain beige bra and knickers. He was so calm, so serene as he touched her lightly. His fingers traced her collarbone and she realized absently that it was quite bright in the room from the fire. He could see all of her for the first time ever. The wedding night had been mostly dark and ever since, she'd remained half-clothed.

Her frantic pulse practically thrummed as his head lowered and he pressed a chaste kiss to her sternum. Her eyes fluttered shut and she forced herself not to moan as his mouth dragged down, down, to her navel.

His tongue flickered out and giggled madly as he tickled her with his mouth.

"Stop!" she gasped. "That tickles!"

His laughter puffed out against the sensitive skin of her stomach, but he complied. His fingers slipped into the waistband of her knickers and she had to bite her lips shut again. Why was he doing this? He'd already taken the potion. They wouldn't be able to have real sex, so what was the point of seducing her? He tugged the material down her legs and she couldn't help her blush. For all intents and purposes, this was the real first time she'd bared herself to anyone. Her wedding night didn't count because he'd been high on some mystery potion the twins had inflicted upon her.

Remus stood up and tossed her knickers aside while looking down at her. She blushed harder. Her embarrassment seemed to amuse him, as he had a smirk on his face as he bent down and reached behind her back. His face was so close, all she had to do was lean up and she could press her mouth to his. Only a few inches separated them. His tawny eyes were bright as he stared into her own. The desire to kiss him was so strong that she nearly cried out in denial when he pulled back, taking her bra with him. But common sense prevailed.

His eyes swept over her in a thorough sweep. She resisted the urge to cover herself as she didn't want him to stop whatever it was that he was doing. But instead of coming back to her, like she had thought, instead he dropped down to his knees beside the bed and gently touched her legs.

"Open your legs, Hermione," he murmured.

Instinctively, her legs clenched shut. He smiled wryly and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her right knee. He repeated the gesture to her left knee, then her thigh, then the opposite thigh.

She spoke then, the words slipping from her mouth. "What are you doing?"

"Just open your legs."

He then kissed her left hipbone and she suddenly knew. He was going to do _that_ again. Hesitating for a moment longer, she finally gave him with a mental groan. This was much more embarrassing than last time, but her urge for him was great enough to give her the courage to continue. She could see his satisfaction as she complied. His eyes darkened and he licked his lips. The gesture was so absently lascivious that she couldn't help her groan this time.

Without any more teasing, he lowered his head to her center and licked her. It was so glorious, so incredible, that her back bowed against her will and she moaned low and deep. His mouth was wicked, licking and sucking her and heating her from the inside out. Hot tingles shot through her with each stroke of his tongue.

It was wonderful, but not enough.

"More, please," she whispered. Part of her hoped he didn't hear her shameless begging, but the other part wished he miraculously overcame the potion, hauled himself up, and pounded her into the mattress until she was nothing more than a puddle.

Obviously he heard her because he then felt his hand where she ached the most. He touched her reverently with a hint of deep need. And then one of his long, calloused fingers edged inside of her. Oh, she was being filled and touched and _sated_. Her legs opened wider and she reached down to thread her fingers through his hair. She could see his mouth on her, his tongue working her, and it aroused her further.

He played her perfectly. He took her to new heights and when she felt the edge coming closer, he'd retreat to prolong her pleasure. Soon, his one finger was not enough. She rolled her hips, trying to take more of his hand into her throbbing center.

As if he could read her mind, he looked up into her eyes and said, "More?"

She nodded frantically and then there _was_ more. She felt full. With his fingers pressing against her walls, she could feel her every pulse. His hand and mouth worked faster with unmistakable intent. She didn't want it to end but she was already one big mass of tense energy.

She let her mind shut off and threw herself into what her body was being given. She focused on the throbbing, aching, pulsing spot where his mouth was working so furiously on her and then everything snapped. She cried out as wave after crashing wave took over her body. He never stopped, not until she went limp.

Then his mouth was gone, his hand was gone, and she felt suddenly bereft. She didn't realize her eyes were closed until she opened them at the sound of a belt buckle. He was still kneeling and then he was upon her. She gasped in surprise, reflexively wrapping her arm around his chest as his hands came down by her head. His eyes were frenzied and then he was inside of her. She watched his face intently as he thrust into her, easily with the excess of her climax, and then he reached his own pinnacle. She stared in awe as his eyes clenched shut and his mouth opened slightly on a groan.

She continued to watch his face as he fell onto his elbows above her. He never opened his eyes. Not even when he lowered himself and pressed his face into her neck. Her arms tightened around him and she shut her own eyes, marveling at what just happened.

"Are you alright?" he asked. She shivered pleasantly at his hot breath on her neck.

"Yes," she replied. Her voice was barely a croak. He nodded and then, to her dismay, pushed himself off of her. She liked his weight on her, even though he'd been fully clothed. He buttoned his pants and stood up, smiling hesitantly down at her.

"I'm just going to, ah," he stumbled over his words slightly as he stared at her, still stretched over the bed. She couldn't be fussed to move at the moment, however. "I'm going to take a shower. Do you need anything?"

He was so adorable, standing there looking all nervous and rumpled. "No," she replied. "Thank you. I'm just going to lie here for a while."

"Right." He stood there for a moment, obviously unsure, and then he vanished into the bathroom. The man was a mystery, she thought with a stretch.

One moment he was doing unspeakable things to her…person… and then the next he was as nervous as a schoolboy. Crookshanks hopped up onto the bed a moment later and stalked up to sit right next to her head. He gave her a distinctly disapproving glare.

"What?" she said, reaching up to scratch his ear. "If it bothers you, then you should have left."

Her cat made a 'hmph' noise and then marched to Remus's pillow to give himself a bath.


	14. A Kind of Healing

Even with the reassurance Remus gave her every time before he left, and even with the disgusted looks Snape sent her every time he brought Remus back, Hermione worried. And when Hermione worried, she didn't sleep. She would settle herself out on the couch, watching the fire in the fireplace dwindle, and try _not_ to think about her husband in his office, going through God only knew how much pain. She would think about her schoolwork, her hair, her nails, everything and nothing. But she always came back to Remus.

Even before their newfound closeness, she'd worried every full moon. She just couldn't think of it as normal for her husband to just walk off and turn into an animal. She knew it hurt, she knew it made him miserable. So she waited for him, all night.

This night she felt, through their bond, the moment he changed. His emotions went from calm to berserk. She bit her lips shut and went through it with him, but more like an observer instead of a participant. She couldn't tell what he was seeing, but she felt his terror and forced calm. She could almost tell what he was thinking – _Almost done, almost done, almost done…_

And then she waited for hours, unable to do her homework or anything else that needed concentration. She painted her nails pink. She braided her hair. She tried the new lotion Ginny found in Hogsmeade. This night seemed worse. The impatience he was emitting was almost staggering. But whether it was Remus or the wolf, she couldn't tell.

Finally, hours later, she felt the impatience shift to horror. That was when he changed back. The sun was not up yet, but the moon had set. She could tell because after that, she couldn't feel anything other than relief. Pushing her weariness aside, she sat up straight on the couch and watched the door. When he gets back, carted in by Snape, she'd have to be alert and ready. She liked to help whenever she could. Luckily this full moon landed on a Saturday night and she had all of Sunday to recover.

She hopped up when the portrait hole opened and was about to ask what she could do but she stopped in horror. Remus was being held up by Snape and McGonagall. His face was bruised and his hands were bloody.

"What-" she began but Snape waved her aside.

"Stand aside you silly girl," he snapped, leading McGonagall back to the bedroom. Bewildered, Hermione followed.

McGonagall, at least, remembered that Hermione was his wife. "We don't know what was wrong," she said. "But not too long after the transformation, students began to report hearing howling."

"That's not normal, is it?" Hermione asked, darting to his side. They'd laid him on the bed, still in his robes. He was unconscious.

"No, usually he just paces, or sleeps," McGonagall replied. "Dumbledore had to go down and fortify the wards and place more silencing spells on the room so that he could not be heard."

"He'll need to be undressed and allowed to sleep it off," Snape said, pulling out a vial from his robes. "This should heal all his injuries-"

"He has more?" Hermione gasped. Snape shot her a quelling look and continued.

"It should heal his injuries, but he'll need to stay in bed for the day."

Hermione nodded, hiding her horror. What was wrong with him? Did the Wolfsbane not work properly?

"You'll need to contact one of us when he's conscious," McGonagall said, looking down at Remus like a mother would to a sick child. "We'll need him to tell us what happened."

Nodding once more, Hermione reached out and began to unbutton Remus's robes.

"I think we should leave, Severus," McGonagall said quietly. "Contact us, my dear, when he awakens."

Hermione barely spared them a glance as they left. Snape hadn't told her where he was hurt. Once he was down to his boxers, she levitated him into the bed on his side of the mattress. When he was settled, she pulled off her own clothes and moved to her own side.

He looked so tired, so battered, even in sleep. His right cheek was bruised, as if he'd run head-first into something. She was afraid to go to sleep, worried that he'd wake up and need her. Yes, she was right by his side but what if she didn't wake up right away? She hadn't slept after all. She didn't want him to exert himself just to get her attention…But soon all such thoughts were moot as she fell asleep.

She dreamed that she was running, searching for something. The need for it was overwhelming, but she didn't know what she was looking for. The woods around her were completely quiet. Even when she called out, there was no sound. She ran through shadows and light from the moon above the tops of the trees.

Her breath hitched in her chest as she ran faster, further. But still there was no noise. She couldn't help the panic that ripped at her, but she continued to sprint, looking for she knew not what. She'd know when she saw it. Ahead of her, the trees thinned. She poured on the last bit of her energy and forced herself to go faster.

Through the low branches she saw something. It was what she'd been searching for, waiting for. The moonlight glinted off of what looked like fur. A howl pierced the silence of her mind.

She awoke with a gasp, sitting up straight and staring around. Her heartbeat was uncommonly loud to her own ears. But she was safe – she was in her bed in her room with her husband.

Remus.

She looked down at him, expecting him to be asleep but his eyes were open and trained on her.

"Nightmare?" he rasped. His voice was ravaged and barely louder than a whisper.

"Oh God, are you alright?" she asked, leaning down and unconsciously brushing the hair from his face.

"Hurts," he said, closing his eyes as she continued to touch his face.

"I have a potion that Professor Snape left for you," she said quickly, reaching over and grabbing it from her nightstand.

He didn't protest as she went to his side. He opened his mouth and she poured the purple potion in. He swallowed, grimaced, and seemed to melt before her eyes.

"Better?"

"Oh yes," he replied.

Unsure of just what to do now, she continued to watch him. His eyes remained closed and she was sure he'd gone to sleep. She settled down into his side, needing at least some contact. She nearly jumped out of her skin when he turned his head to look at her.

"What time is it?" he asked in a whisper.

She blinked a few times and looked at her clock on her bedside table.

"Good lord! It's nearly noon!" she exclaimed. "We've been asleep nearly six hours!"

"That's good," he replied softly.

"I'm supposed to call someone in when you're… conscious."

"Please don't."

"Oh?"

He closed his eyes and nodded. "I'm not up for anyone other than you right now."

Inwardly glowing at his words, she curled into his side and watched his profile. His bruise was slowly evaporating.

"How're your hands?" she asked.

"I have no idea," he replied. She reached down and felt for his wrist and pulled it up above the blanket. There was dried blood all over each finger, but there didn't appear to be any cuts or scrapes. She reached back for her wand and siphoned the blood off of his hands. When they were both clean again, she put them back below the comforter.

She bit her lip, wondering if she should even ask. But she had to know.

"Remus?" she whispered. He turned to look at her again. "What happened?"

He frowned, his tawny eyes turning slightly confused. "I'm not sure."

"Really?"

"You have to understand, Hermione, that even though I take the Wolfsbane, after the change the wolf is still in charge," he said. "I'm there, but almost like an observer. He's just more in control of himself. From what I could sense, he wanted something."

"That's why he was howling?"

"Yes. I don't know what he wanted, but he needed it enough that he raised a hell of a lot of noise and threw himself at the door and tried to claw his way out."

Hermione gasped and gripped his hand tighter.

"He didn't want to hurt anyone," he whispered, looking slightly ashamed.

"Oh, I know that," she said quickly. "I'm just worried that… well. That he hurt you."

With obvious effort, Remus rolled to his side to face her, bringing the front of their bodies together. She bit the words that wanted to jump out of her mouth to tell him to stop, to not exert himself. He made it with hardly a grimace and then wrapped his free arm around her back. Her heart warmed and she couldn't stop the smile that spread over her face.

"He was just going on instinct," Remus said softly, his golden eyes intent on hers. "He didn't mean to hurt me."

"I know," she replied. "I just don't like you coming back with bruises and cuts. I don't like you leaving at all."

His face softened and his hand spread on her back.

"I don't like leaving either."

They laid like that, watching each other's faces, for many minutes before they dropped off to sleep again. Her sleep was dreamless this time. When she awoke again, his eyes were open already.

"Aren't you the one that's supposed to sleep more?" she asked groggily.

"Did you spend the whole night awake?"

She bit her lips and looked away, embarrassed at being caught. She wasn't sure she wanted him to know just how much and how deeply she thought of him.

"You can't do that, Hermione," he said chidingly. "You need your sleep."

"When you're gone…" she stopped, cleared her throat, and tried again. "When you're away, I worry. I know it's stupid, but I do. I can feel your apprehension, your fear. And I can feel the moment you change. Then I feel the wolf, though I didn't realize that was who I was connected to."

"You feel him?"

"Yes, his emotions, just like I feel yours. I wasn't sure until this morning who I'd been feeling on the full moon in the past."

Remus frowned. "I didn't know that was possible. I always thought… But even when it's him, during the full moon, I can feel you."

"You can?"

"You're always so nervous, so…worried. I always figured that you slept, though."

"Would you sleep, if it were me?"

His silence, his obvious discomfort, gave her the answer. She was sure her heart was going to catch fire if it warmed any more this day. He cared for her, though if he did for her as much as she did for him, it remained to be seen. She was quite sure she had an enormous crush on her husband. She didn't know if that was a good or bad thing.

"Are you wearing your bra?" he asked suddenly, looking at where her chest was pressed to his.

"Um, yes?" she replied.

"Why?"

"Well, I just sort of threw off my clothes to get into bed…"

He raised an eyebrow and it made her wonder how he could still be attractive when he looked like he'd been run over a train.

"Is it comfortable?"

"I didn't notice, to be honest," she replied. But, of course, now that he had said something, she felt the tight elastic and the itchy lace.

He must have seen her frown because in the next instant, he'd unsnapped her bra. She felt her eyes just about bug out of her head, but didn't move. Without a word, he pulled the piece of fabric away and tossed it over the side of the bed. Unconsciously, she pressed herself even closer to him. It was completely the wrong time and totally inappropriate, but she was really enjoying the feel of his naked chest pressed against hers. She could almost feel his heartbeat. He was so _warm_. No wonder he usually went to bed shirtless.

"Better?" he asked, lightly rubbing her back.

"Urm, yes," she squeaked.

It was hard for her. She could admit that. It was hard for her to go from barely touching him, barely speaking to him beyond the pleasantries. This was damn near impossible for her. How can she just lay here in his arms and not start giggling madly? How can she speak when their naked chests were plastered to each other? How could she form a coherent sentence with his face so close? His every exhalation hit her face pleasantly.

She cleared her throat again needlessly before trying to get the topic back to something safer than her undergarments.

"So, erm, what do you think he wanted?" she asked.

"Moony?" he said, idly reaching up to play with one of her curls.

"You call him your nickname from school?"

"Well, no one has called me that _since_ school, and it seems appropriate."

Bewildered, she only nodded.

"I'm not sure what he wanted, but it was more than just want," he said, frowning slightly. "It was like… a desperation. I couldn't communicate with him at all."

"So you can… talk to him, when he's…"

"Sort of," Remus said, slipping into his Professor Voice. "When there is no Wolfsbane, I can only just watch what he does. With the potion, I can try to reason with him because he's more in his own mind. The potion is a release for him as well, in a way. He's less a monster and more an animal."

"You know, that makes sense," she said.

"I'm glad you get it because I'm not sure that I do."

She laughed, making him smile as well. He had such a lovely smile. He had a lovely everything. More than anything, she wished she could reach her own arm out wrap it around him like he was with her. But she was not brave enough and her free arm remained curled into her chest, pressed between their bodies.

"What was it like when you were in school, with the other marauders?"

"What do you mean?"

"Just sitting back and watching the wolf, Moony, with your friends," she said. "Weren't you worried?"

"At first I was terrified, but I couldn't change their minds," he said quietly. He dropped the curl and began to trace her neck. She bit back her sigh and forced herself not to quiver. This was heavenly and she didn't want him to stop. Instead she focused on his face, his voice. "I remember them coming out of the tunnel one at a time, slowly. James was first, being the largest. We figured he'd handle me the best. Moony was curious, confused, but ultimately as lonely as I was. After a few shaky minutes where I was screaming at him to not kill my friends, it was like they were perfect for him."

"So now, with the Wolfsbane, does he ever listen to you?"

"Not really," Remus said with a laugh. "I don't think he really understands. I certainly can't understand him."

"Did he have a favorite, amongst your friends?"

"So many questions," he said softly, looking into her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she said quickly. "You're tired, I'll stop. It's not-"

"No, I like it," he said. "I'm just wondering where they're all coming from."

"I've had them for a while," she replied. "I just never….had the courage to ask."

He hummed in his throat and watched her curiously before he answered.

"Moony got along the best with Sirius, which isn't too much of a surprise as they're both canines," Remus said. "He really couldn't stand Peter, though. I should have paid attention, I guess."

His mood rapidly shifted from comfortable to morose. It must be hard on him to remember his past, remember his best friends before life had taken them, in some form, from him. Not wanting the mood ruined because of her, she pushed aside her nervousness and wrapped her arm around him. His gaze shot to hers and held as she pressed even closer and touched his back.

"I'm sorry it makes you sad," she whispered.

"So am I," he replied.

"Can I ask another question?"

"Of course."

"Was Sirius your first kiss?"

He raised an eyebrow at her and she shifted uncomfortably under his stare, but she was curious.

"No, he was not," Remus said finally. "He was my first, and last, kiss from a male, but he was not my first kiss ever."

"Oh," she said cautiously, wondering if she could push her luck and ask for more details.

"My first kiss went to Mary Maplethorpe," Remus said matter-of-factly. "And I was not the instigator." Hermione gave him an amused look. "I'm serious! I was walking down the hall and suddenly a hand shot out of a closet and pulled me in. She then kissed me furiously, got me all worked up, and then left me alone in the closet as she ran away."

"I see," Hermione said, biting back a smile. "And how did things go with Mary Maplethorpe after that?"

"There were a few more serious snogging sessions," he said thoughtfully. "And one life-altering moment where I felt her breast, completely by accident of course."

"Of course," Hermione said with a roll of her eyes.

"And then Mary Maplethorpe found love elsewhere in the arms of Derrick Mathens of Hufflepuff."

"Ah, young love," Hermione said lightly.

"Who was _your_ first kiss, then?"

"Ahhh…"

Hermione began to turn away and said, "You know, they said you shouldn't exert yourself. You should really be sleeping right now."

But Remus's arm tightened around her, keeping her pressed to him, and he looked her in the eyes.

"I told you mine," he whispered.

Hermione winced, swallowed, and said, "Viktor Krum."

Remus's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Er, yeah," Hermione said embarrassedly. She closed her eyes and said, "It was during the Yule Ball. Ron was being a prat and I was really upset and so Viktor took me out into a courtyard. We talked for a bit and then he leaned right over and kissed me. The first one was, well… not very good because I didn't know what to do. But then I guess I relaxed and…yeah. It was quite lovely."

"Is that _all_ you did with Viktor Krum?"

He was teasing her! The horrible man! His gorgeous golden eyes were lit with mirth and his wicked mouth was smirking. But he looked less tired, less beaten, than he had earlier. With pride, Hermione realized that she made him that way. She made him better by talking to him, making him laugh. Even if it was more at her than with her.

"I did as much with Viktor as you did with Mary Maplethorpe," she said haughtily.

"But was your breast being fondled an accident?"

Blushing straight to her toes, Hermione shook her head.

"Oh really?" Remus practically sang. Why did he have to be such a horrible, terrible, adorable prat? "Why don't you tell me all about it?"

He was bright with boyish laughter. His cheeks were gaining cheery color. How could she deny him?

"Fine!" she said sulkily. She would _never_ admit that she was sort of enjoying herself. "After the second task! This is sort of…wicked to be honest."

"Do tell." His voice had turned to velvet and she stuttered a bit in her response.

"Uhm, after were, ah, pulled out of the lake, we had to get out of our wet clothing." She paused, cleared her throat, and shot him a shy look before continuing. "So I stripped down to nothing in a little tent they had nearby just for that purpose. No one else was in there and I didn't know what I was supposed to put on because there weren't any other clothes, so I wrapped myself in a blanket and went to do the door to ask for help but I was supposed to go out and wait for the other contestants to come out…"

She'd never told _anyone_ this, not even Ginny. It was too wicked.

"Yes…?" Remus prodded, rubbing her back lightly.

"So before I knew what was happening I was being herded over to stand with Viktor and Fleur to wait. I didn't say anything because I didn't want anyone to know that I was naked under the blanket! We waited for quite a while and I ended up sitting in Viktor's lap on the side of the lake and he was rubbing my arms and back through the blanket for warmth…I think he noticed then that I wasn't wearing anything underneath. I was too busy trying to make sure I was covered because the next thing I knew…his hand was under the blanket."

"Viktor Krum, that naughty boy," Remus said with a smirk.

"I know I should have been bothered, or offended or something, but it was so…and I just…and he…well. I'm sure you can imagine."

"In front of everyone?"

"Yes," she murmured, blushing harder. "I was so terrified that someone would see, would notice, but no one did. It was… exciting."

"Hmmm, Hermione Granger," he said softly. "An exhibitionist."

She snorted and looked away. "It's Hermione Lupin now."

He made a noise in his throat, like a contented cat. She glanced back up into his eyes and he said, "Yes, you are."

"So I make a good wife, then?"

"The best I've ever had."

She giggled and pinched his back lightly before curling into him. Even though he'd been hurt, even though he was still healing, this was one of the most perfect moments of her life so far. She was so comfortable, he was obviously happy.

"You should go back to sleep," she said.

"So should you," he replied.

"I was planning on it."

"One thing first," he said, reaching below her chin to tilt her head up. She looked at him questioningly. "So, am I as good of a kisser as Viktor Krum?"

She bit her lip, unsure of how to answer. He hadn't kissed her for so long, but she could remember it vividly. How could she admit to that?

"I-I don't know," she said, her gaze inadvertently dropping to his mouth.

"Do you remember at all?"

Oh God, his voice was like melted chocolate. How could he do that? How could he be injured, for crying out loud, and still sound sexy? He was recovering from being a wolf for a night! He could at least have the decency to be tired and _un_sexy.

"Uhm," was her intelligent reply.

"Here," he said softly. "Let me remind you."

Before she could protest, before she could remind him that he should be recuperating, he lowered his head. His eyes remained on hers when their lips met. She couldn't stop her moan of pure pleasure. His lips were so soft, so skilled, that she melted into him. Closing her eyes, she just allowed herself to feel.

He kept it soft, slow. She wanted more, of everything, but allowed herself this simple pleasure. He was kissing her, holding her, like a husband would to a wife. Up until now she'd been telling herself not to get used to it, not to hope for more because it would likely not become normal and he would probably not keep doing it.

But now, with his lips on hers and his hands on her, it felt wonderful. It felt right. And when he pulled back, she whimpered.

"Well?" he asked, his eyes playful. "How do I compare?"

For her answer, she grinned cheekily pulled him back to her. The kiss went from lighthearted to needy within moments. Both of them wanted more than light pecks and easy brushes.

"I have to stop, Hermione," he rasped, pulling back and collapsing onto his side.

"Alright," she said in a quiet voice, ashamed of herself and mortified at his denial.

"I want to, God knows I want to," he said weakly. "But I think I've depleted all my strength."

"Oh." She curled into his side, needing the contact. "Go to sleep. We'll talk more later."

He rolled his head and looked at her. The lines were almost gone, which was a miracle since he'd only transformed that morning. She brushed her fingertips over his tired eyes. He was asleep within moments, but she was awake much longer. Thinking on everything that was said, everything they had done, she knew they'd crossed some sort of line that day. Whether that was a good or bad thing, she didn't know.


	15. Unsatisfying

"Lupin, I need more of your blood."

Remus stopped just outside of the portrait to his rooms and sighed.

"I gave you enough already," he said, turning around to face Snape. The man looked like a damn vampire. In the darkness of the corridor, with the only light from the sconces in the walls, Snape looked sallow and unpleasant with his black hair covering most of his face. The large protrusion of his nose would have been humorous, but as it was _Snape_, nothing was funny about it.

"The testing process is long and there are many mistakes, Lupin, and-"

"Severus Snape has made a mistake?" Remus asked in mock horror, laying on hand over his heart. "Oh the humanity."

"Do you want to know if your gaining an immunity to Wolfsbane or not?" Snape demanded.

"Well come in, then," Remus said tiredly. "I'm not doing this out here."

Snape 'hmph'd and followed him through the portrait hole. The familiar scent of his rooms, now a mixture between himself and Hermione, immediately calmed him. He'd had a horrible day and the last thing he wanted was Snape sticking needles into him, but he needed to know what was happening with his werewolf self. If he was getting an immunity… But they'd cross that bridge when they came to it.

"Hey, Professor Lupin."

Remus went still and looked up into the faces of Hermione, Ginny, and Ron. Hermione had the couch to herself and Ginny was on the floor on the other side of the coffee table, facing her. Ron was in the chair by the fire.

"Er, hello," he said awkwardly.

"I'm helping Ginny prepare for her OWLs," Hermione said quickly. "Is that alright?"

"Yes, of course," Remus replied with a smile.

"Where do you want to do this Lupin?" Snape said in irritation.

Remus bit back his frustration and said in a tight voice, "I'm going to sit on the couch. If you want my damn blood, you can take it there."

"Oh yes," Snape sneered. "You should sit down if you're going to faint."

Remus just shook his head and shrugged out of his outer robes as he walked over to the couch.

"Why does he need more blood?" Hermione asked, her dark eyes flashing at Snape.

"Apparently _mistakes have been _made and he needs more to continue trying to figure out what went wrong," Remus replied, flopping down onto the couch beside his wife.

Hermione's jaw tightened, but she said nothing. She understood the importance of what they were doing, but he could almost feel her pure hate of Severus Snape. She'd wanted to help and the Potions master and not only said no, but had called her useless in the process. Remus knew that she could be a help, everyone did, but Snape, being Snape, was being an utter arse. And mistakes were being made because of it. A lab partner would undoubtedly be convenient, but Snape always worked alone.

Remus tried to unbutton his cuff but he was so tired and so irritated that he was having problems. He resisted the urge to just rip the damn thing open, but barely. He fumbled with it as Snape stalked up to his side and he could just _feel_ the insult about to be thrown his way. But before the bat of the dungeons could open his mouth, Hermione leaned across Remus's lap and unbuttoned the cuff for him, then rolled it up past his elbow.

Remus leaned back, raised his arm, and gave Snape a cheeky grin.

"Have at it, Snape," he said.

Snape scowled and pulled out a contraption that was made of tubes, a vial, and a needle. Remus watched without interest as Snape sterilized the needle with his wand and then stuck it in his arm. It didn't hurt all that much. Next to him, Hermione grimaced and reached for his hand.

When the vial was full, Snape put away his instruments. He cast a disapproving look at Ron and Ginny before he swept from the room, his black robes billowing around him.

"I really, truly hate that man," Hermione said through gritted teeth.

"You're not the only one," Ron said. "So what does he need you blood for, Professor?"

"During the last full moon, the wolf was having some problems with his control," Remus said calmly. "We're running tests to see if my blood is gaining an immunity from the Wolfsbane potion. That sometimes happens when someone has been taking certain drugs or potions for a long time."

"What will you do if that's the case?" Ginny asked, giving him a fearful look. He smiled reassuringly.

"We'll figure something out," he said. "The wolf wasn't dangerous, just impatient. And with that, dear students, I'm going to bed. Hermione, may I speak to you for a moment?"

She nodded briskly and held onto his hand as they went into the bedroom. Remus shut the door.

"Hermione, it's Friday," he said quietly, looking into her eyes. She shot an annoyed look at the bedroom door.

"I know," she said. "They just _had_ to come over. I said it might not be the best time, but Ginny needed help and Ron wanted to come along, no doubt to con me into doing his Potions essay. The next thing I know they're begging me to let them stay the night. Is that alright?"

"Well, certainly but, you know…"

"Yes," she said, looking uncomfortable. "I do know, and I figured that after they'd gone to sleep I could just come back in here for a bit."

"And if they stay up after midnight, like I'm sure they're going to?"

She groaned and rubbed her forehead. "Why they had to do this today, of all days…"

"We can do it now," he said with a shrug.

Her head snapped up but she smiled, in a not-so-convincing way. "Of course."

They went to the bedside table and took their respective potions, though neither looked happy about it. This would just have to be a thrust and a finish, what neither of them wanted. He'd been looking forward all day to the possibility of having his hands, his mouth on her. Ever since last week, when he'd brought her to orgasm, he'd been looking forward to this. Neither of them were courageous enough to instigate something outside of their Duty Day.

With jerky motions, she pulled her pants and knickers off and bent over the side of the bed with an aggravated sigh. He opened his trousers with a smile and rubbed himself to get hard. She was so adorable. She faced away from him with her chin on her hand. He could see the pout on her face in his mind.

They were done within seconds. One thrust and completely unsatisfying orgasm later, he pulled back and put himself away. She gave him an awkward smile as she got dressed and then she left without a word.

So. It was back to being awkward. Goddamn it.

Why did her friends have to choose today, of all days? And why did she have to be so bloody accommodating? No, it was good that her friends were there for her. Really. He just had to get over it.

The evening was interminable. He didn't want to go out to the living room and interrupt her with her friends. That wouldn't be polite and she rarely saw them anymore, what with Harry suddenly becoming a recluse. And it was nice of Hermione to help Ginny with her OWLs. If he went out there, he'd be in the way.

He was still awake that night when their voices had died off in the other room. He was restless. It had never occurred to him just how large his bed was. Without Hermione there with him, there was an awfully large amount of space. He was laying right in the middle of the huge bed and staring into the fireplace. He was tired, but he felt too edgy to just roll over and go to sleep. Hermione's presence was like a balm on his nerves and without her there, he ended up drifting into an uneasy sleep.

_The forest was silent, oppressing. His four feet moved stealthily over the uneven ground. He could smell the woodsy scent of the bark of the trees, the twigs under his paws. But somewhere near, somewhere just out of his range, something waited. Something important. Something necessary. _

_His excellent eyesight captured the movement of small animals, all moving quickly to get away from him. But he didn't want them. He wanted what was ahead. A gentle breeze wafted the scent to his nose and he kicked up his pace. Floral…familiar…_necessary_._

_He was getting closer. The scent was stronger. Ahead, the trees began to clear. His paws met grass and he slowed. It was there. Right there in front of him. He whined with need, with pure want of it. Its pale skin glowed in the light of the full moon and when it turned, its chocolate brown eyes smiled at him._

_Not it. Her._

Remus jolted awake with a gasp. His heart was throbbing in his chest and his skin was slick with sweat. He stared around frantically, and sighed with relief when he found himself in his huge bed. The fire in the fireplace was still going, though a bit less bright than earlier. He slumped back onto his pillow and out of habit, looked at where Hermione's head usually was.

And nearly jumped out if his skin again when he saw that he was not alone.

Hermione was, in fact, laying next to him. She was asleep on her stomach with her face towards him. One hand was curled by her mouth and her brow was furrowed in a frown. Why wasn't she out on the couch? No matter. She was here now, and he if she wanted to sleep by him then he'd let her.

Dream forgotten, he slid over until he was right next to her and pulled her into his arms. She didn't wake. Smiling to himself, he settled back into his pillow. Funny how fast he'd gotten used to this. With one lingering kiss to her temple, he went to sleep. This time there were no dreams.

* * *

Hermione lazily turned her pocket watch in to a parakeet. The room was loud with the sounds of squawks, tweets, high-pitched chiming, and low curses from her fellow students. So far, she was the only one able to fully transfigure her watch.

Neville had only been able to make his sprout feathers so far.

Professor McGonagall marched by, gave her a nod of approval, and continued on. Hermione settled back in her chair and got comfortable. Having completed the assignment, she had nothing better to do than to sit and wait for the class to be over.

Next to her, Ron cursed again. Hermione didn't even bother to tell him that wouldn't help his situation any.

Across the room, Harry transfigured his own watch easily. Hermione watched him curiously. He'd never done so well in class before… perhaps he really was just studying more. Lord knew he didn't do anything else. He didn't hang around his friends, he didn't talk. He didn't do much of anything anymore. Whenever he disappeared, she figured he moped. But maybe he really was just working extra hard in his studies.

His tired green eyes caught hers. She smiled weakly. He sighed and turned back to his bird. She frowned and slumped in her seat. Fine! If he wanted to be that way he was more than welcome! This was getting ridiculous anyway!

"Stupid fucking watch," Ron grumbled. "You know you'd rather be a stupid fucking bird!"

Hermione rolled her eyes. Over the general chaos, she could hear female chatter behind her. Normally she would have just tuned them out but something about the conversation pricked her interest.

"He was with a boy!" Parvati hissed. Hermione could hear the incredulous anger in her voice.

"Who was?" Lavender asked in a hushed whisper.

"Justin!" Parvati said. "I opened to door and saw him shove a boy out of view!"

"How do you know it was a boy?"

"He had short hair and broad shoulders," Parvati sneered. "Girls are definitely not built that way."

"You couldn't see who the boy was?"

"I didn't see his face. It was the wrong angle. But it was _definitely_ a boy."

"Well, I certainly never would have figured that," Lavender said.

"He's been stringing me along! That arse!"

"He hasn't even spoken to you, Parvati."

The conversation then turned into an argument and Hermione shifted her attention elsewhere. So Justin had been caught out, eh? She'd warned him that was going to happen if he kept choosing empty classrooms… The lesson ended not too long after that and Hermione began to gather her things, thinking idly that she'd go down to the Potions classroom and make her weekly batch of Remus's potion. Hers could last indefinitely but because of some of the ingredients needed in his, it had to be done weekly. Luckily she had a few vials left of her own and so her trip down to the dungeons wouldn't take too long. She was still rather angry with Snape.

"Mrs. Lupin?" McGonagall called out.

Hermione stopped and turned toward her professor. Part of her was still unused being called Mrs. Lupin, but it was getting easier. Ron hovered uneasily, unsure if he should leave.

"You may stay, Weasley," McGonagall said in a clip voice. "I have something to say to you that you need to pass onto your friends."

She looked a little stiff, so Hermione said, "What is it, Professor?"

"It has come to my attention that you've been allowing your friends to visit you in the rooms your share with… your husband."

"Yes…" Hermione replied in confusion.

"I'm afraid that cannot be permitted," McGonagall said stoically.

"What?"

"Unwed students are not allowed to visit the private dormitories of wedded students, nor are they allowed in the private rooms of professors," McGonagall said. "I'm afraid your friends cannot visit you there any longer. You are free to visit Gryffindor Tower, however."

"But they've been coming by all year!" Hermione cried indignantly.

"Yes, because we did not know it," McGonagall said firmly. "But now we do, so please just follow the rules, Miss Gr – Mrs. Lupin. You too, Mr. Weasley."

And with that, their inflexible professor strode out of the room. Hermione looked at Ron in bewilderment. After a pause, they too left the classroom.

"How on earth…" she stopped and turned to Ron, her confusion transforming to anger.

"Snape," they both said at the same time.

"He must have gone to McGonagall after seeing us in your rooms last Friday," Ron said.

"Oh, how bloody ridiculous!" Hermione said loudly. "Will the man stop at nothing to make everyone as miserable as he is?"

Ron grunted in assent and they continued on. Hermione was so angry, in fact, that she quite forgot to go down to the dungeons to make a new batch of potion for Remus.


	16. His Blessing

**WARNING: LEMONS AHEAD! This chapter is practically all lemons. If that offends you, go ahead and skip it. There is a little bit of plot, just so you know. But LEMONS!**

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* * *

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Hermione had been in a bad mood all week. Remus decided that his best course of action would be to stay out of her way. She told him what Snape had done, thereby efficiently cutting off all visits from friends. Remus supposed he'd be on a warpath as well.

Luckily, her friends seemed bound and determined to make her feel better. She spent every evening this week in Gryffindor Tower, coming back just before curfew. He'd usually be in bed by that time and she'd crawl in, snuggle into his arms and go to sleep.

Remus didn't like it. Not one bit. He was used to her being around nearly all the time. Now, he saw in the mornings, across the Great Hall at meals, and right before they went to sleep. Had this happened before their newfound intimacy and friendship, he supposed it might have been a good thing. But now…now that he knew her mind better, now that he wanted to be near her more, he hated the current turn of events.

But she needed to be with her friends. That was necessary.

Another necessary part of their life, however, was that it was Friday. Tonight she'd need to come back to their rooms at least long enough for them to get their weekly intercourse out of the way, which is why he was currently searching through the sea of students leaving the Great Hall after dinner for the familiar curly head of his wife.

He spotted the trademark Weasley red and sure enough, next to Ron was Hermione. Remus made his way through the crowd of teenagers. As luck would have it, Hermione spotted him just as he looked up again. She smiled at him and he couldn't help but grin back.

"Hello," she said. Ron and Ginny waved in hello before making their way up the stairs.

"Hi," he replied. "I need to steal you for a little bit."

"I know. That's why I told Ron and Ginny I'd be by Gryffindor Tower later."

"Oh, good."

Together, they joined the crowd leaving the Entrance Hall. At the top of the stairs, they took a left with a bunch of Ravenclaws. Remus's mind was already on what was about to happen in their rooms, because by God this time he'd make her come, and so he was startled when he felt a small, slightly damp, hand slide into his. He looked over and found Hermione watching him. Impulsively, he squeezed her hand.

He noticed the curious looks they were receiving from the other students. He pretended not to see. When they took another left at a hallway, the Ravenclaws slowed and he could feel their eyes in his and Hermione's backs as they walked away.

"Nosy brats, aren't they?" Hermione muttered.

"Quite," Remus replied. "But I don't suppose they can help it."

"Hmph."

They made it to their rooms and entered silently. On autopilot, it seemed, they went back to the bedroom. Remus's heart beat a little faster. He'd been looking forward to this for a week. He was finally going to have her skin under his hands, his mouth. He would once more hear her moans and know he was the cause. There was little that gave him so much satisfaction.

Hermione dropped her bag inside the bedroom door and flounced over to the bedside table. She grabbed a vial of her contraceptive potion and gulped it down before turning to him and watching him with a curious glint in her eyes, no doubt wondering what he would do.

He slid past her and went to retrieve one of his own vials. He pulled open the drawer holding his and went still. There weren't any there.

"Um, Hermione?"

"Yes?" He nearly groaned at the breathlessness of her voice.

"There isn't any of mine here."

"What?"

And as soon as it had come, the breathiness was gone. Now she sounded confused. She came up to his side, looked into the drawer, and gasped. She looked up at him with huge eyes.

"Oh no!" she groaned. "I can't believe it! I forgot to make your potion this week! I've been so out of it, and Ron and Ginny have kept me so busy up in the tower, I completely forgot."

She looked so adorably distraught that he nearly smiled. It wasn't her fault. If he remembered correctly, the day that she usually went down to the dungeons was the same day that she was told she wasn't allowed to have her friends over anymore. No doubt she just didn't want to be anywhere near Snape.

He bit his lip at the unexpected opportunity this gave him. He wasn't sure she was ready for this step – to do their 'duty' without the potion. He knew she wanted it, but wanting something and being prepared were two different things. He'd wanted to take this slowly, only going that far when he was sure they could handle it. It wasn't just a physical thing for them. There was definitely an emotional attachment between the two of them and he didn't want sex to ruin all the progress they'd made.

But God he wanted her. Thought about it, dreamed about it, constantly. And here was his chance…

"I could go down and make it now," she said quickly, looking frantic. "I am so sorry! I don't know what's wrong with me!"

"Hermione," he said, reaching out and touching her shoulders. "It's alright. You've had a stressful time of it. I don't blame you at all."

She was so distressed, on the verge of tears. Unsure of what to do, he settled for rubbing her shoulders soothingly.

"I just… never mind."

"No, tell me," he said softly.

"I was so mad," she said, her jaw firming. "I still am! I've been angry and tense all week! I threw myself into my studies and helping Ginny, but GOD! First Snape tells me I'm useless, then he takes away the ability to be around my friends in relative privacy, and on top of that Harry's being a right prat! He won't even look at me anymore! I don't know what I did wrong! I just want to kick something! Or make something explode!"

She was practically vibrating under his hands with suppressed anger. He'd sensed it all week.

"You just need to relax," he said soothingly.

"No, I just need to go down and make that damn potion," she said with an irritated sigh. She made to move out from under his hands, but he held her fast.

Heart galloping in his chest, he licked his lips and said, "What if… what if you didn't?"

"I'm sorry?"

"What if you didn't go make it?"

"You mean…" Her eyes got huge in her face. Not with worry, but with something that looked like anticipation. The sight made all the blood in his body travel to his groin.

"I mean, do it _without_ the potion."

"I…I think I could agree to that."

Remus's eyes darkened. "Good."

It was like a floodgate opened. She launched herself up into his arms and he caught her easily. Their mouths found each other and it was all lips, tongues, and teeth. Something primal within him growled. God, he'd needed this. Her greedy hands slid down his front and pushed impatiently at his outer robes. Without pulling his lips away, he shrugged the garment off and pulled her close again.

His brain stopped working at some point. He was all visceral feelings and emotions. Her hands, her body, her mouth, all drove him mad. All he could seem to do was kiss her and touch her back as she unbuttoned his shirt. He wanted to reciprocate. He wanted her naked, but his hands wouldn't work.

With a growl, she gripped both sides of his shirt and ripped it open the rest of the way. He didn't have time to gasp. She pulled back and tore the shirt from his body.

"Hermione -"

"Shh," she hissed. Then her hands were on his skin. Groaning, his eyes rolled back into his head. Her small hands left a trail of fire over his bare shoulders, chest and stomach. He felt her come closer and then it was her mouth on him. He couldn't tell her no, he couldn't say to stop. It was too wonderful.

She pressed kissed to his collarbone, his sternum, pectorals. When she reached his nipples, he gasped at the flick of her tongue. Where had his shy, introverted wife gone? Within moments, he didn't much care. She laved his left nipple with her velvet tongue and it sent shocks of pure electricity through his entire body. He flexed his hands to keep from gripping her hair and pulling her mouth closer.

Her mouth slid over his chest as her hands went lower. _Yes! Lower, please lower…_

His eyes popped open and his head dropped down when her mouth vanished. He gasped in shock. She was on her knees. Hermione was on her knees before him and gripping his belt with unmistakable intent.

"No, Hermione -"

"Shut up."

"No, you don't have to-"

"I said, shut up. Let me, please?" Her huge, innocent, provocative, indecent eyes pleaded with him. "Please, Remus? I want to."

"Oh, God."

She took that as a yes, and he wasn't sure that it wasn't. He could only stare in heated shock as she pulled his belt away and threw it behind her. Then his trousers where open and her hands were in the sides of his boxers. She pulled them down together and openly stared at his blatant arousal. She went still, watching it. He nearly whimpered. He needed her to do something. Anything.

Her hands left his trousers around his knees and then she _was_ touching him. She was hesitant and he vaguely recalled that she'd never touched a man's arousal before. He let her do as she willed for a little bit, letting her get accustomed to it. But he needed more. Her tickling explorations were driving him mad.

"Tell me how," she said breathlessly. "Tell me how to please you."

He swallowed. "Harder, please."

She complied hastily and he moaned loudly. God it was wonderful. He was harder than he'd been in years, and that included their wedding night. Her small hand could barely contain him and her innocent determination thrilled him beyond words. When she looked up into his eyes and leaned forward, hesitantly taking him into her mouth, he cried out at the wet heat surrounding him. He had nothing to hold onto, no wall or chair or even the bed. They were in the middle of the room. His hands met her head and his fingers slid into her hair. He didn't pull or tug, but just held her.

Her head began to move, her mouth never stopping in its suction. His head fell back of its own free will and he had to force himself not to rock his hips. But for someone who'd never done this before, she was doing incredible. Where her mouth could not reach, both of her hands stoked him hard like he'd told her to.

But soon it became too much. He hadn't had a real release in months, and she was bringing him to the edge too soon. Gently, but firmly, he pulled her head back from him. He twitched at the pop her mouth made as she released him.

"You need to stop," he rasped.

"Why? Was I doing it wrong?"

"No," he said firmly. "You were doing it too right."

He gripped her elbows and pulled her to her feet. The bed was too far away. Instead he pulled her to his chest and lifted her off of her feet. He kicked off his shoes, trousers, and pants with absolutely no finesse. His socks would have to stay. Moving to the nearby wall by the bedroom door, he reached under her skirt.

_God, she was still wearing her school uniform._

Well there was nothing to be done for it now. He tugged her knickers down her legs and over her shoes. He was too impatient to worry about anything else. He pushed her against the wall and through a haze of lust he reached for her legs.

"Wrap your legs around me," he growled.

Her chocolate eyes darkened with pure hunger. He lifted her up by her thighs and she wrapped them about his middle as her arms did the same around his neck. Their eyes locked and without a word, he pressed into her.

She was so bloody tight, so wet. He was used to just thrusting and being done and it was like a miracle knowing that he didn't have to this time. Her eyes closed on a guttural sigh and her head rolled back, thumping the wall. Part of him wanted to go slow, but he just couldn't.

Without pausing for a breath, he rolled his hips into her repeatedly. It was pure heaven. His hands kneaded her backside as his thrusts began to pick up speed. Just like in his thoughts, his fantasies, she moaned for him. Her hands were in his hair, on his neck. She tugged on his head and he went willingly, capturing her mouth once more.

She tasted like sweet victory. He snaked his hand between them and played with her as he continued to pound into her heat. He captured her soft cry with his mouth and continued to pleasure her. His release was closing in, and he wanted her to go with him.

"_It's…I…close…"_ she whimpered.

"Me too," he groaned. "So bloody close. Come with me."

"Yes…"

His pace picked up, both in his hips and hand. She was getting tighter around him, driving him mad. Icy heat began to form in his abdomen. It was building and building and he was _so fucking close_…

"Come now," he whispered against her mouth.

"Oh!"

And she did. Her inner walls pulsed around his hardness and it pulled his release from him in incredible waves.

"Hermione?"

Remus ripped his mouth from Hermione's and they turned their heads at the same time, both still half-blind in pleasure, and saw Harry standing in their bedroom door, looking around their room. Hermione went rigid around him and her muscles clamped down on his arousal, ripping an agonized groan from his throat. Harry then saw them. Remus wasn't sure what happened next because his eyes closed in pure embarrassment and continued pleasure, but when he looked up again, Harry was gone.

Hermione was still pulsing around him. Her heart was thundering against his chest. Neither moved.

Breathing heavily, Remus looked at his wife. Her face was bright red with a mixture of mortification and arousal, and her eyes were huge in her face.

He helped to set her back on her feet. When he slipped from her body, they both shuddered with an aftershock. Thinking that maybe he should pull away, he moved back. But she reached for him with an unsure look in her eyes and he knew that if he left her now, she'd feel vulnerable. So instead he braced his arms on either side of her head on the wall behind her. His legs were still shaky. Lowering his head to her shoulder, he sighed.

"Did I just imagine Harry walking in here?" he asked.

"No," she said softly. "No, that was really him. Right when we…"

"Had explosive orgasms?"

"Er, yes."

"Bugger."

"Yes, my thought exactly."

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, why?"

"I was rather…rough."

She sighed, wrapping her arms tight around his chest. "I liked it."

"Oh, good."

"So…." She sounded hesitant. He lowered one arm and wrapped it around her protectively. She took a deep breath and said, "Can we do it like this from now on? Without the potion?"

He pulled back and looked into her eyes. She was nibbling her lower lip again. Carefully, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers, soothing that poor lower lip with his tongue. After a few moments he pulled back.

"I think that would be fine."

Her eyes brightened. Laughing softly, he pushed himself up fully and grabbed her hands. He led her to the bathroom and over to the bathtub. Playing with the faucets, he started a bath with blue and white bubbles that were scented like gardenias. While the tub filled, he helped her undress.

It amused him that she could still manage to blush after all they've done, and not just today. But as he removed each piece of clothing in succession, her face glowed more pink. She stared determinedly at the floor, biting her lip again. When she was down to her bra (white today), she finally looked up into his eyes.

"What are you doing?" she asked quietly.

"I'm taking your clothes off," he replied. "Then we're going to take a bath."

"We?"

"Yes," he said with a decisive nod. She smiled meekly, the raging seductress from mere minutes ago gone.

He unclasped her bra easily and tossed it to the rest of her clothes. Her skin glowed in the soft light from the candles on the sink that always lit themselves when it got dark outside. The tub was filled and the sweet scent of gardenias filled the room. He tugged his socks off and stepped in first, turning around to help her in.

As this was not a normal bathtub, but instead like the Muggle Jacuzzis, they were waist-high in the foamy water. Before he could sit, she slid one hand up his chest to his neck.

"What did we just do?" she breathed.

Staring down into her eyes, he replied, "I'm not sure."

"Everything keeps changing."

"I know."

She gazed at him, with a strange look; one full of knowledge and confusion.

"I can't say that I don't like it," she murmured.

He moved back until his knees hit the edge of one of the seats underwater. He sat, sighing at the heat of the water and pulled her with him. She sat in his lap, facing away from him. They didn't move, just enjoying the water and the silence for a while.

Remus found it perfect. He was still a little shaken inside at the level of intimacy they'd shared, both out in the bedroom and just now. She was right, everything did keep changing. He wished he could get a hold of whatever was happening, but he didn't mind it too much. He found like he was liking this strange ride they were taking together.

At length, she got up from his lap. Remus opened his eyes, not knowing when he'd closed them. The dismay he felt at her leaving vanished as she waded over to the other side of the tub and grabbed her soap and shampoo. She set it by him and resumed her seat without a word. But when she reached for the soap, he stopped her and took it himself.

She dipped her head into the water and began to massage the shampoo into her hair as he washed her back. Her lean muscles along her spine caught the flickering light of the candles. He helped her turn and bend back to rinse the shampoo from her hair and soap from her back. Her slick skin entranced him and he couldn't help touching her softly.

"Relax into me," he whispered. She complied, reclining back into his chest. She settled her head onto his shoulder and closed her eyes, allowing him to wash her front.

It amazed him how much she trusted him. She went completely limp in his arms as his hands slid all over her shoulders, chest and stomach. When his sudsy fingers slid over her hard nipples, a whisper of a sigh left her mouth. Had her head not been right next to his, he wouldn't have caught it. He repeated the gesture, hesitating over those little peaks and she did it again, this time with a slight arch of her back.

He smiled. Who knew Hermione Granger could be such a little wanton? She bit her lips, no doubt to try and smother her own reaction. Part of her was probably ashamed, if he knew her at all. Well he couldn't have any of that.

He rinsed off her chest and pulled her tighter against him. Leaning down until his mouth touched her ear, he whispered, "Shall I pleasure you again?"

Her eyes popped open and she stared at him in shock. He waited, but she didn't say no. Keeping his left hand on her breast and his eyes on hers, he slid his other hand down, down to her legs. He separated them easily until she was straddling him. She did not resist, nor did she look away. She only dropped her stare when his fingers met her center. Then her eyelids slid closed and her head fell back onto his shoulder.

He pressed his lips to her neck and touched her slowly, gently. He circled his middle finger around her hard nub at the same pace that he circled his tongue about the skin of her neck. Her breathing turned shaky and her hands reached for purchase on the side of the tub.

"Are you sore at all?" he asked.

"Uhm…. A little," she gasped.

"I'll be gentle," he murmured.

He continued to circle his fingers between his legs as he fingered her nipple, lightly pinching and twisting it. He took his cue from her, not wanting to rush or hurt her. When she began to undulate into his hand, he knew she was ready for more. Had he been a younger man, he could have taken her again right then. But he was not.

Instead he breached her with two middle fingers, rubbing the heel of his hand over her clitoris. She shuddered and moaned, arching into his hand. As he moved them within her, she turned her face to his neck. With every exhale her breath puffed coolly along his wet skin, sending pleasant shivers down his spine. Her arms wrapped up around his head and then her warm mouth was moving along the artery in his neck.

His breathing turned just as shaky as hers as warm pleasure pooled in his stomach. He watched his own hands on her; one on her chest and the other below the water. The bubbles were almost completely gone. Her moans turned to breathy cries. He picked up the pace with his hand. Licking and sucking at the arm reaching around his neck, he played her like an instrument. She rolled into his hand repeatedly and then she grabbed his head, bringing his mouth to hers.

When she came, he felt it on his hand and tasted it in her mouth. Her back arched even further and he captured her wrenching sobs with his mouth. Her inner muscles still rippling, she went completely limp. Her arms collapsed from around him and she slid down his front a bit, leaving him to catch her. He repositioned her across his lap and hugged her trembling body to his chest.

Both of their bodies were shaking; he realized with amazement that it was almost as if he'd come with her. His body felt spent even as his mind raced with awareness. When she finally dragged her eyes open, she looked at him with awe. Yet again, something had shifted between them. It was bringing him closer to something he'd sworn to himself long ago that he would never have again.

But as he looked into those shocked and amazed eyes, knowing that he himself had the same look on his own face, he couldn't bring himself to care. His life was different now. While he may have cursed his ill luck in October, he now counted the girl in his arms as a blessing.

* * *

_Author's note: This'll be the last update before Christmas. After, I may have time but there's a real chance that I won't update again until after the first of the year! I'm a dancer and I have a performance New Year's Eve. We rehearse every day immediately following Christmas. So enjoy this little bit! _

_I want to thank everyone who's left a review. They really do help. I would have given up on this long ago if you all hadn't left me those notes and things. I'm glad I've stuck with it and I'm glad you all enjoy it! Happy Holidays!  
_


	17. Problem

_Author's Note: Thank you so much for being patient! I'm so sorry that this has taken so long! My performance went really well and I had a wonderful time in New York! Updates should be coming along quicker now that that's all out of the way. So here it is! Enjoy!

* * *

_

Even Hermione, who knew nothing about Quidditch, could tell that Harry was not having a good game. He seemed in a completely different world than the rest of his team. From her spot in the stands, she watched his still form up above the game closely.

"What on earth could be wrong with him?" she asked Ginny.

"I honestly couldn't say," Ginny replied in bewilderment. "But if he doesn't snap out of it soon, we're going to lose."

Clutching her Omnoculars to her eyes, she focused in on his face. His eyes were staring off into space and his cheeks were extremely pale. He looked rather sick.

"Ron says he hasn't been sleeping well lately," Ginny continued. "He's moaning a lot and waking up. He'll even leave the boy's room and go somewhere else under his cloak. Ron tried to follow him once but it's impossible when Harry's invisible."

Hermione's heart clutched in fear. "Should we go to Dumbledore?"

"I've been thinking about it."

Hermione looked at her friend and saw the grim determination etched onto her pretty face.

"If he doesn't get better by the weekend, we're going," Hermione said. "Agreed?"

"Yes," Ginny said stoutly. "He's been worse these last few weeks. I wonder why?"

Hermione tried to hide her blush but Ginny chose that moment to look away from the still form of Harry to look right at her. Ginny's eyes widened.

"You know something!" she said accusingly.

"No! Really I don't! I-"

"Yes you do! You look all guilty!"

Hermione was going to continue her denial but the crowd suddenly went crazy around them. She searched the skies and found Harry diving after the Hufflepuff seeker for a small speck of gold.

"Come on Harry!" Hermione screamed.

But no amount of cheering, yelling, hollering, or anything else could close the gap between Harry and the other boy. He'd been too late. When the Hufflepuff seeker caught the snitch, the crowd simultaneously went mad with excitement and shock. The great Harry Potter had lost a match.

"I don't believe it!" Ginny said.

Hermione had nothing to say. The two girls moved along with the crowd exiting the stands, their shoulders and arm jostled as everyone tried to leave quickly. Hermione was going to follow the rest of the Gryffindors back to what probably would be a very gloomy tower but Ginny had other ideas. While passing the greenhouses, Ginny gripped her arm and pulled her into Greenhouse Two.

"Ginny, what-"

"Tell me what you know," Ginny said firmly.

At a loss for words, Hermione backed away, giving Ginny a helpless look.

"I swear I know nothing-"

"No! Don't lie to me!"

"I'm not lying!"

"Then why do you look guilty?"

Hermione tore her gaze away and instead focused on a group of fluffy pink plants that swayed slightly in their pots. She really didn't want to have this conversation, but if she didn't Ginny would never trust her. She'd think Hermione was hiding something.

"I don't know what's wrong with Harry," she said. Ginny look about ready to speak, her brown eyes blazing, and so Hermione forged on. "But I think I know why he'd been even more standoffish. You see, a few weeks ago... Remus and I…Harry just… and we were…"

She couldn't say it. It was too mortifying.

"You were…?" Ginny prodded.

"Oh my God. Alright! Fine! Remus and I were conducting our weekly duty and Harry walked in at the exact wrong moment! Happy?"

Ginny looked confused. Tugging a lock of her flaming red hair absently, she asked, "Duty? What duty?"

"Oh for Merlin's sake! Remus and I must have intercourse once a week! We were having sex, up against a wall, I might add, and Harry walked in right was we were both orgasming our brains out! The stupid prat just waltzed into our rooms and now, I don't know if I could ever look him in the face! But on top of that, I think he's mortified. God, _I'm_ mortified."

Ginny had frozen in shock, her fingers still wrapped around a bit of her hair. She stood like that, eyes wide and mouth open, for a good ten seconds before bursting into giggles. Sheepishly, Hermione smiled and looked at the floor.

"Against a _wall_?" Ginny finally said, erupting into more giggles.

"Well, yeah. I don't want to explain it, but yes. And that's how he found us."

"Well that's just horrifying, isn't it?"

She hadn't planned on talking about it, but she found that talking to Ginny about her sex life was surprisingly easy. Soon her whole story, about the potions, the building relationship between her and Remus, all of it came out. Ginny listened attentively and even gave up some tidbits about her love life with Dean, making Hermione blush and laugh.

It had been a long time since she'd had just a girlfriend talk. She found that she missed it. When they left the greenhouse, Hermione was in better spirits overall, but that didn't change the fact that there was something wrong with Harry and they still couldn't quite figure out just what it was.

* * *

"Can we just call in dead today?" Hermione asked groggily.

"Call in dead?" Remus asked in amusement.

Hermione tilted her head up from where it was propped on his bare chest and eyed him sleepily.

"Yes, call in dead," she said. "I'm so…tired."

"That's what you get for staying up all hours of the night reading a new book."

She _hmphed_ and closed her eyes, settling her head back onto his hard chest. She'd known last night as she was reading a new book (a thriller about Jack the Ripper) that she'd pay for it if she didn't just set the book down and go to sleep. But of course she hadn't and had instead finished the book at around four-thirty that morning.

"No, you cannot call in dead today," he said. Under hear ear, his voice rumbled in his chest. "In any case, we have a certain chore we must do now because I shall be missing this evening."

Instantly, her sleepiness edged away and a familiar sense of anticipation worked through her body.

"Ah, yes," she said with a smile. "We _should_ do it now, I suppose."

"I don't want you anywhere near me this evening," he murmured. Sensing a hint of darkness in his voice, she sat up and regarded him with a flirtatious smile.

"Now, now," she said, reaching out and tracing his stomach. "No thinking about the full moon. Right now think of something a bit more…pleasing."

His tawny eyes lit with warmth and in moments, he had her on her back and was between her legs. Both laughing, they kissed and touched and worked themselves up quickly until –

There was a knock at the door.

Remus cursed into her mouth and sat up, glaring at their bedroom door.

"Er, I'll get it," she said, stifling laughter. "You just…wait a moment."

"Hurry," he said, pressing a kiss to her shoulder.

Heart pounding, she jumped from the bed and grabbed his shirt. She dashed to the door, made sure she was covered, and then eased the portrait open. Standing there, looking like a lost puppy, was Harry.

"Harry?" she said, mystified. "What are you doing here?"

He shifted from one foot to the other, looking first at the floor and then to the ceiling. He chewed his lips and shoved his hands into his pockets. His hair was absolutely wild and his pale skin looked sallow.

"I, er… I'd like to talk to you, if I may," he said quietly.

"I'd love to, Harry, but my friends are no longer allowed in my room," she said apologetically. "And I'm sort of…in the middle of something. Can we get together this evening?"

He nodded, looking like he'd been slapped.

"Oh, Harry," she said sadly. Letting go of the portrait, she stepped out into the hall dressed only in her husband's shirt and took Harry into her arms. "Is everything alright?"

"I don't know," he said miserably, holding her tight. "Just… meet me in the abandoned classroom on the fifth floor tonight at about six, alright? Promise?"

"Of course," she said confusedly, pulling back and looking into his trouble eyes. "But why the secrecy?"

"I don't want anyone to hear us or find us or anything," he said. "I…I have to tell you something. Something… not good."

She wanted to press, she wanted to force him to tell her now, but that would probably not be smart. Something was wrong with her friend and she'd let him tell her when he was good and ready.

"I'll be there," she said.

He nodded and then turned and left, walking dejectedly down the hallway. Lost in her thoughts, she went back to her husband, who she found sitting up in bed and watching her.

"Who was it?" he asked.

"Harry," she said. "He wants to meet up with me later and talk. He said he had something 'not good' to tell me."

"You'll let me know if everything's alright, won't you?" he asked, his eyes narrowing with worry.

"Of course," she said. "We'll all need to help if it's truly bad."

She crawled back into the bed but neither were in an amorous mood any longer. They had to get their duty out of the way, but the morning was ruined with their thoughts of the upcoming evening.

"We still have to…" she trailed off.

"I know."

Still, neither moved. Hesitantly, Hermione took Remus's head in her hands and kissed him softly.

"We'll think about everything else later," she said. "We need to do this now."

And when they did, it was with a rushed feeling and left both of them wanting more. Unfortunately, they both had class and there wasn't enough time for another round.

Harry really did have the worst timing in the world.

* * *

Hermione kept throwing glances at Harry all through dinner, but he never once looked at her. He was sequestered all to himself at the end of the table. All of Gryffindor knew not to bother Harry Potter anymore unless they wanted their arses handed to them.

She wolfed down her dinner, not even looking at what she was eating. She barely paid attention to the conversation around her and when her plate was clean, she hopped to her feet.

"Where are you goin'?" Ron asked around a mouthful of potatoes.

"Er, the library," she said quickly. "I want to get my Arithmancy essay out of the way before the weekend, y'know. More free time."

"Since when do you care about free time?"

She rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Ron. I love free time."

She then sped off, looking at Harry one last time. He sent her a furtive glance in response. On her way through the Entrance Hall, her quick pace was brought to an abrupt halt.

"Where are you off to in such a hurry, mudblood?" a drawling voice called from the bottom of the stairs. She looked up sharply and found herself standing in front of Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle.

"None of your business, ferret," she snapped. She went to go around them, but they shifted together like their three bodies all shared one mind.

"What, off to shag your werewolf husband?" he asked nastily.

"Yep, that's right," she said. "This morning wasn't enough and now I want more. Care to get out of my way so that I can?"

He made a disgusted face, but didn't move. "You think you're so clever," he said softly. "But don't for one moment think that you're safe."

"What do you mean, Malfoy?" she said in a bored voice.

"I mean that we're not done with you. Not by a long shot."

"Well have fun trying," she said airily. "You've done a smashing job so far."

With that, she shoved him none to gently out of her way and sprinted to the empty classroom on the fifth floor. She knew she was ahead of Harry, but she wanted to be there when he arrived. But Malfoy's words followed her the whole way… What could they be planning? She'd have to let Dumbledore know after her talk with Harry. Yes, that's just what she'd do.

She reached the appropriate door and skidded to a halt. She shoved the door open and shut it behind her as quietly as possible and moved into the darkened room without looking around and dropped her bag to the floor.

"Hermione?"

She jumped and looked over to find Remus standing by the windows, staring at her in horror.

"You have to leave! You have to get out now!" he yelled.

Leaving her bag, she ran to the door in pure terror. But right when she reached for the doorknob, a bright blue ward erupted into existence, blocking the door completely. It vanished, but the door was sealed.

"No! NO!" Remus screamed. She turned, her heart in her throat, and backed all the way up to the door. Remus turned away from her and began to shake.

She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. She wanted to do something, but all she could do was stand and stare in horror as her husband seemed to grow before her eyes.

His clothes ripped at the seams and fell from his body as it expanded. Fur sprouted from his skin and he screamed in pain. She reached out automatically but knew there was nothing she could do.

He continued to scream in agony and it slowly turned into a howl. It was over soon enough, but she would never forget the sight of Remus changing in front of her eyes. Where her sweet, kind husband had stood, there was now a huge gray wolf.

And he was staring right at her.


	18. Meet Moony

So many thoughts scrambled through her head as she stared into the tawny eyes of Moony. Absently (deeply under terror, nausea, and shock), she realized that those eyes had the same color were shaped exactly like Remus's.

Neither she nor the wolf moved for many moments. She knew she couldn't escape. Remus had spoken many times about the fortifications put onto the room where he was sequestered. It was even silenced so that no one could hear it if the wolf howled. So if she screamed for help, no one would hear.

The grey fur along the wolf's spine and shoulders bristled as he took one deep inhalation through his long nose. She cringed back into the door, the back of her head banging on the wood, as he took a step toward her.

She didn't want to die. She didn't want to be bitten. She just wanted to get out.

Her heart was in her throat and galloping madly. When Moony took another step for her, she whimpered. Sick fear raced through her veins. This was it. This was her end. What a sad, sad end it was.

Moony inhaled again, craning his neck toward her. She recoiled, gritting her teeth and choking on sobs. But then he did something she did not expect – he sat down and started whining. Mere feet from here, he watched her with distress, whining in his throat. She had no idea what to do. Was he going to eat her or not?

He shuffled toward her and her brief confusion melted with horror once more. She wanted to back away, but there was nowhere for her to go. She could only stare in wide-eyed panic as Moony stood up and ambled up to her. Her mouth opened in a silent scream when his nose brushed her hand, sniffing her.

All he had to do was open his jaw and chomp down and her hand would be gone.

But his cold, wet nose only grazed her skin before continuing on, breathing in the scent of her clothes. He wasn't eating her, he wasn't attacking her….that was good news. It didn't lessen her absolute terror any.

Once he seemed to get enough of smelling her, he sat back and started whining again, nudging her hand. What did he want? When he licked her fingers, she jumped.

"What do you want?" she whispered, her lips hardly moving.

He pushed his head into her hand again. Did he want her to pet him? Moving so slowly that it took her ages, she reached out for his head and touched him with one finger before pulling her hand back to her chest.

He just sat there and stared at her before whining again.

She tried again. This time, she left her finger on top of his shaggy head. He didn't move. Hesitantly, she inched her finger back and forth, thereby barely scratching his head. His mouth dropped open and his tongue lolled out in a big, wolfy grin.

It was at that moment that her legs gave out and she slid down the door onto her bum on the floor. She couldn't support her own weight anymore. Moony took this as a welcome to barrage her face with his tongue.

"No! No, don't do that!" she cried, throwing her hands up to ward him off. "Oh, gross. Stop it!"

But the wolf, seemingly overcome with joy, continued to lick at her until she grabbed his snout and held him still. He didn't fight her, to her astonishment. He just sat down again and watched her curiously until she let him go. They stared at each other, each taking in the other's face, until he scooted closer and bumped her shoulder with his head.

"So you know me, then?" she asked quietly. As a reply, he rubbed his face into her shirt.

She was still afraid to move. She knew how temperamental animals could be; especially wild wolves. And _this_ particular wolf wasn't even a normal wolf, but a _werewolf_. But somewhere in there was Remus. She stared into those honey eyes, wondering what he must be thinking. Was he as afraid as she was? Or could he tell that Moony meant her no harm? But then, Moony could like her just fine now and then have a mood swing. She was stuck in the balance until the moon set.

Why wasn't he in his office? He always changed in his office and spent the night there. What was he doing in an abandoned classroom? And how ironic was it that this was the room that Harry had wanted to meet her in?

A dark part of Hermione's heart wondered if maybe Harry had planned this, but he couldn't unless he knew that Remus would be here. And how would he know that? As far as Hermione knew, Harry didn't speak to anyone. And if he had, Remus would have told her, wouldn't he?

"I was supposed to meet Harry here," she said. Moony moved to her side and sat next to her against the wall, leaning into her shoulder. "He was going to tell me something. I wonder if he just left when he found the door locked? Or maybe he went for help? But he couldn't have known I was here…"

Moony, ignoring her words completely, just stared at her with open adoration. She went silent after that, allowing herself to relax and trust in the situation. If she was meant to be eaten by a werewolf, there wasn't anything she could do about it. She wouldn't be happy, and poor Remus would never forgive himself, but she was here. She was stuck. Hopefully, Moony's playful streak would last throughout the night. For his part, Moony seemed obsessed with licking her face and smelling her hair.

"Would you stop that, please? You're making me nervous."

He whined and nudged the limp hand in her lap with his muzzle. Taking the hint, she (cautiously) touched the top of his face. He closed his eyes and seemed to melt into her hand. He certainly was friendly. When she finally stood, just to get some circulation back into her legs, he trailed after her. When she walked around the room, he was by her side and his eyes followed her face. She wasn't quite sure just what to make of his size. He was huge. His face was level with her neck when they both stood and his shoulders where three feet wide. His head alone was as large as Crookshanks.

But he was beautiful, in his own way. His fur matched the grey in Remus's hair. He lopped along with a leisurely grace and his huge paws made hardly a sound on the stone floor.

She ended up making a makeshift mattress out of an old desk and setting up her homework on it, the huge wolf at her feet. She worked on an Ancient Runes essay, part of her mind on the work and the other part keeping a close eye on Moony. If he decided to attack her, she'd have to fight him off. Did Stunners work on werewolves?

But Moony seemed content to just lay there by her side on the plush burgundy mattress. After a while, he went to sleep with his large head on his front legs. His nose was pressed to her leg and every time he breathed, warm air trailed down her outer thigh. Sometimes she'd reach down and scratch his head and he'd huff in his sleep.

She was desperately tired, but she didn't trust Moony enough to fall asleep. She forced herself to focus on her homework, but her small, neat words on the parchment kept blurring. Her eyes itched and her eyelids were getting much too heavy. She closed them for a moment.

She must not have opened them again for a while because the next time her eyes were open, she was laying on her side and a huge furry mass was in front of her. She leaned up onto on elbow and looked down. Moony was asleep, his whole back pressed to her front, and was snoring softly. On the floor by the mattress was her homework, book, quill, and ink spread out everywhere. It looked like it had been shoved off of her. Looking at her furry friend, she didn't doubt that that was exactly what he did.

Too tired to care overmuch, she laid back down and tiredly wrapped her arm around his neck. He sighed and she once again fell asleep. But when she closed her eyes and went into oblivion, she dreamed.

_She laughed in delight as Moony pranced out on the open lawn of Hogwarts. He raced along the grass, stretching his legs for the first time in years. He laughed, sounding so much like Remus._

_They played together, running this way and that, laughing and yelling. Neither noticed the cloud creep over the bright white moon. _

_Moony leapt into the air and shifted easily into Remus, who moved to her side and lifted her into his arms. Twirling easily, they smiled at each other. When he kissed her, her heart swelled in her chest. He set her back on her feet and became Moony once more. _

_He ran around her in a circle and took off. She wasn't worried. He'd be back. _

_He loved her. _

_He was at her side once more within moment, a mouthful of wildflowers in his mouth. In the blink of an eye, he was Remus once more. He handed her the flowers and said, "It's in the blood."_

_Confused, she replied, "What?"_

_His warm honey eyes laughed at her as though she were being slow. _

"_It's in the blood. It's all in the blood."_

_And then he was a wolf again, running off to find her more flowers. The cloud over the moon turned black._

_Remus was too far away when the other came from the woods. She didn't even have time to scream before a huge wolf with a grey stripe down his back had her on the ground and had his fangs in her side. Greyback, human now, backed away from her and grinned with bloody lips. _

"_It's in your blood now."_

_His voice was like the poison that was now working its way through her body, morphing her, changing her. And then he was gone and Remus was at her side, staring down at her sadly. _

"_Help me, please help me…" she whimpered, reaching a cramping, shifting hand to her husband._

"_It's in the blood, Hermione."_

_And he just continued to watch her with melancholy eyes as she changed into a wolf before him, whining pitifully._

It was the whimpers that awoke her. She thought that they'd been her own, but no. Moony was pacing the room and gnashing his teeth agitatedly. Outside, the sky was turning pink.

"Moony?" she whispered. He looked over at her then and made another sad little noise in his throat before going to her side. He licked her face, but she could see that there was something wrong. He looked like he was in pain. All fear now gone, she wrapped her arms around him, her mind still in a fog.

He laid down and almost immediately began to howl. She hugged him harder, her head moving much too slowly from sleeping to awake. She didn't understand at first what she was feeling when the bones and muscles under his skin began to move. It felt like living things were crawling all over him and she squeezed him tighter.

But with one loud yelp in her ear, she was wide awake and knew exactly was what happening. The moon was setting. He was changing back into Remus. She didn't remove her arms, however. She continued to hold him and swallowed back her sick fear as his face, so close to hers, shifted.

The fur seemed to grow in reverse, going back into the skin. His muzzle broke into pieces with dozens of little cracks, all of them shifting back into a human face. His fangs shrank back into normal, human teeth. Howls turned into cries, and Hermione still held him until he went limp. Once more, he was human.

Remus began to stir his body before opening his eyes. And when he did, he caught Hermione completely off-guard by grabbing her with more strength than he should have had and staring at her wildly. There was something…different. Something new in his eyes.

"Hermione?" he rasped, his shaking hand reaching for her face. She stared at him uncomprehendingly. "It's you," he said wondrously. "It's…you."

He was looking at her like he'd never seen her before, like she was some sort of goddess.

"Remus? Remus, what's wrong?"

"You're…you. You're _you_."

"You're not making any sense-"

The wooden door banged open, coming clean off its hinges and Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Snape were there. In a flurry of motion, they had Remus off the floor and in a black robe. But Remus never once looked away from her. Everyone was talking at once, asking questions, demanding to know what happened, but Hermione and Remus were silent. She could only stare at him.

Some strange warmth was filling her chest the longer that he looked at her. His eyes, which should have been tired, were open and alert and staring at her inexplicably.

Again, he said, "You're _you_."


	19. You're You

He was so pale, lying there in an exhausted sleep. His hair was sticking in every direction and his mouth was slightly open. But he looked peaceful. The thought brought another twinge of amazement to her soul. After everything what he had told her…

Even after they'd both adamantly said they were fine after they'd been found, they had been ushered to the Hospital wing. Hermione had helped carry Remus on one side with Harry on the other.

Outside the abandoned classroom there had been a huge crowd of people. All but one of them had been teachers. When Harry had seen her, he'd launched himself forward and gripped her hard as though to assure himself that she was real.

"I was so worried!" he'd said breathlessly, green eyes wide behind his spectacles. "I saw you go in and I went to follow but the door wouldn't budge. I tried every spell I could think of and when that didn't work, I went for McGonagall. When I told her which room, she practically flew to Dumbledore's office. Somehow it all got out and we all ended up camped outside. I can't tell you how tense everyone was."

Hermione thought it prudent to not talk about how she'd ended up falling asleep while everyone was outside worried for her.

At the Hospital Wing, most of the crowd dispersed after tired good-byes and more thanks to Merlin that she was alright. Only Dumbledore, McGonagall, Snape, and Harry were left when Remus had been settled into a bed at the end of the ward. It always seemed that they were the ones that surrounded her when something monumental took place in her life.

He'd still been staring at her strangely from that bed. So very strangely, as though she were some sort of miraculous vision. McGonagall had been saying something, about how odd it was that Hermione didn't have a scratch on her, and she was asking questions, but Hermione didn't listen. Instead, she spoke to Remus.

"What on earth is the matter with you?" she asked in confusion.

McGonagall when silent mid-sentence. It seemed the entire room went quiet, tensed for Remus's answer.

"You're…it's _you_. You're _you_."

Hermione stamped her foot and snapped, "What does that _mean_? You keep saying it and it doesn't mean anything! Of course I'm me!"

"No, you're… God, you're _you_!" he said again, as if it made all the sense in the world.

Hermione looked helplessly to Harry and McGonagall. They appeared just as confused as she. Harry shook his head silently in puzzlement while McGonagall frowned. Snape looked at Remus like he was a very perplexing slug. Only Dumbledore seemed to understand.

"Remus…" he said softly; knowingly. "I think you need to explain."

Hermione looked back at Remus. Still, he was staring at her. He then blinked quickly and moved to sit up. Immediately Hermione was at his side to assist; setting pillows behind him and helping him to settle comfortably. She went to move back but he took her hand, halting her progress. She sat at his hip instead, keeping her hand in his. Her heart fluttered a little at knowing that he was showing her affection in front of her teachers and friend.

"Hermione," he said softly. "First, you need to understand that animals live differently than humans."

She raised an eyebrow. "Yes… I sort of knew that already."

"No, I mean they go through life on instinct," he said impatiently, his eyes urging her to understand. "They know things, secret things, because it is in their genetic makeup. That's how they survive. They do not question what life gives them because they don't know how. Humans, however, question just about everything. We never take things at face value and because of that, we miss things. We have to understand and analyze everything, which leads us to miss the most obvious things in the world."

She stared at him, not quite comprehending. Questioning, just like he said humans instinctually do. She waited for him to continue with her heart in her throat.

"Animals find their own ways to live on instinct," he continued. "They know, on impulse, where to live, what to eat, how to survive. They feel the world around them. In a way, they know more about life than human beings ever will. They sense things. Moony, for months, has sensed what I, as a human, never would have been able to."

His hand tightened around hers. Some base level of her inner self knew where he was going, but the other part, the more human part, needed him to say it. She still didn't understand.

"He sensed a match in your soul to ours," Remus said quietly. "He and I are one being, though his mind has the natural instincts I lack. I didn't know, not until I saw you through his eyes, that you… you're you. You're the thing that part of me, some part I didn't even know existed, was looking for. You're my soul mate."

Hermione couldn't move. She couldn't speak. Tears came unbidden to her eyes.

"No, please don't cry," he said, pulling her closer. "Please, no. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sorry," she said finally, through a tight throat. "I just…really?"

He only nodded. Behind her, she heard Dumbledore murmur, "Come along. We'll come back later, come along."

The Hospital Wing doors opened and closed and then there was silence once more. She couldn't look away from those eyes, those golden eyes that seemed to be staring into her very soul – the one that was made for him.

"How can humans not know?" she whispered.

"As I told you, it is our instinct to question everything," he replied. "I might have known, but didn't want to accept it. But when it's so obvious… I cannot deny it any longer. I can't tell you what it felt like to see you… Moony knew. That's what he wanted last month. He wanted to get to you. There was a desperation to just be around you."

She leaned forward until their foreheads were pressed together, just feeling the moment. She had a soul mate. No, everyone had a soul mate. She had _found_ her soul mate. He was there, she was in his arms, and nothing had ever felt so perfect.

That was hours ago. They'd fallen asleep together on the little cot. He'd held her close, tracing her face in wonder. She'd laid still, glorying in his soft caresses until they'd both fallen off into oblivion. Now she was seated at his side once more, holding his hand and watching his face.

She didn't know what to make of the situation. It had all started so wrong, so dark. Neither of them had wanted to get married, neither of them had wanted the other. There was no animosity, but there wasn't much of anything else either. But lo and behold, they were soul mates. Did that mean that he loved her? Did she love him? She wasn't sure. Surely one _knew_ when they were in love…?

She looked back at the double doors when she heard a creak. Harry's dark, shaggy head appeared. She smiled at him, waving him in. Looking unsure of himself, he made his way to her side.

"How is he?" he asked in a whisper.

"He's fine," she replied just as quietly. "Just sleeping off the night like he always does."

"I can't get over it," he said. "You and Lupin… soul mates…"

"I know," she sighed. "I can't either."

"I feel like I've missed so much. Like I've let you down."

She turned to him fully without letting go of Remus's hand. Wordlessly, she patted the mattress next to her. Harry's eyes darted to Remus's face for a moment before he eased himself down slowly.

"I don't want to bother him…" he said.

"He's out for a while," she replied primly. "He won't notice and I won't let him go."

Harry smiled weakly before his face fell and he buried it in his hands. With her free hand, she touched his shoulder.

"Tell me what's wrong," she whispered. "What did you want to say to me?"

"I can't in front of Lupin."

"Yes you can and anything you told me I'll just tell him later."

He shot her a wounded look. "Even if I swore you to secrecy?"

She grimaced. "Well, then I'd keep it to myself but it would be really hard. I tell him just about everything now, you know."

"Soul mates, right," Harry said softly. "You have to promise… This isn't good, Hermione. This is bad. I… I don't know what to do."

"Just tell me," she pleaded. "I'll help in any way I can, you know that."

"I don't think there is any help. I've looked."

He went silent and she didn't say anything. She knew that if she kept her mouth shut he'd be more likely to talk than if she harangued him. Sure enough, he scrubbed his hands through his hopeless hair and, without looking at her, started to talk.

"It started at the holiday dance," he said carefully. "I'd never… not one single time before then even _thought_ that… and then we were stuck. We had to!"

"What are you talking about, Harry?"

"I had to kiss Ron, you know that. I just wasn't expecting…" He stopped again and looked away.

In a rush, comprehension dawned on Hermione. "You liked it."

"Yes," he whispered. "I liked kissing Ron. He pulled back first and laughed it off, but I didn't want him to pull away. I almost went back at him but then I realized what I was thinking. I hated myself."

She almost said something, but thought against it. He'd gotten it out and she sensed there was more.

"After that… I started to dream. You know…_dream_."

They both blushed but Hermione said, "Yes, I know. We all get them."

"They were about Ron, but other blokes too. I…I thought that I liked girls! I found a Ravenclaw to kiss, a girl, and I tried, I really did. But…it felt so…gross. I Obliviated her after. She had that look about her that said that she wanted to tell people she'd kissed Harry Potter and I just couldn't… Anyway. I didn't know what to do until I walked in on Justin Finch-Fletchey and some other Hufflepuff guy I don't know. He wasn't even really embarrassed. And then…

"Well he sought me out, actually. He said, 'You looked like you were hit in the face with a Bludger and then you looked like you wanted in. Am I wrong?' I've never known Justin to be so forward in anything. But we set up a time to meet in that classroom, the one I sent you to. And after five minutes with him, I knew. I'm… Oh God."

She wrapped her arm around him and pulled him close, her heart breaking as he started to shake. When he spoke again, it was between sobs.

"I'm…I'm gay, Hermione. I don't want to be! I don't… but I am."

"It's okay, Harry," she said softly.

"No it isn't. It's wrong. It's gross and wrong and totally unnatural and-"

"Stop it," she said firmly. "You stop it right now. I would ask where you got those ideas, but I've met your family. It's not gross, wrong, or unnatural. It's just how you are. And you know what? I still love you. You're still you, Harry."

"But that's not all," he said, looking at her in fear. "It started a few weeks ago. More dreams, more thoughts. They're about Ron, always about Ron. I think… I think I'm in love with him."

And then Harry's eyes overflowed with dejected tears and he collapsed into her side. She didn't know what to say to make him feel better. She felt the mattress shift behind her. She looked back and saw Remus sitting up and staring at the back of Harry's head. When he looked at her, she knew he had been listening. His eyes were haunted and a small, irritating part of her was jealous of the memories that he was remembering of Sirius.

Remus then reached up and gently touched the back of Harry's head. Harry jerked out of her arms and stood by the bed, staring down at her and Remus. He was breathing heavily and looking miserable.

"Harry," Remus said, reaching out a hand. "Come back, son."

"You….you heard me?" Harry asked.

"Yes," Remus replied. "Yes, I heard you. Harry, I don't care if you're gay. We do need to talk. But just know that I'm here, Hermione's here, and we love you, okay?"

Harry crumpled again and Hermione pulled him until he was sitting between her and Remus, enforced on both sides. She knew that he was sleep-deprived, which was why he was breaking down so hard. It didn't make the situation any less heartbreaking. This was one of those times that Hermione wished desperately that Harry had parents.

But when she looked up, she saw Harry wrapped in Remus's strong arms, much like a parent would do to their child. She listened silently as, once again, Remus told the story of himself and Sirius. He explained that Hermione already knew and how it had started with a kiss on a dare. How a few years later they got tattoos together of a canine paw print on the soles of their feet. How it continued on until Sirius's death.

Harry listened and calmed, and when he left he was looking distinctly more like himself. Both she and Remus reiterated that he was more than welcome to come to either of them whenever he wished, hang the rules. When he was gone, she looked at her husband.

"That hurt," she said. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her back onto the mattress with him.

"What did?" he asked.

"Harry," she said on a pained sigh. "I can't believe how much he hated himself. I want to kill his family."

"He feels better now," Remus said. "He has us. I won't let him burrow into a depression, like Sirius did after he found out about himself. Even when he had me, he felt like he was letting everyone down because he didn't like girls. I, at least, liked them too."

"I'm glad you said something," she said softly.

"I am too. You know what I'm glad about?"

"What?"

"That you're you."

Her melancholy mood instantly vanished, smothered under the warmth those simple words gave her.

"You know what?" she said.

"Hm?"

"Me too."


	20. Warmth

_Author's Note: I'm so sorry for the delay! My life was incredibly hectic for so long. And every time that I'd try to write, it just didn't go well. Hopefully this works!

* * *

  
_

Hermione wasn't sure she should bother him, but she didn't want to go to the Great Hall. Eyes followed her every move ever since word got out that last Friday she'd spent an entire night in the same room as a werewolf and came out alive. The attention was enough to drive her mad.

While everyone was at lunch, she made her way to the Defense classroom. Remus wasn't taking any meals with the school either. Everyone would look back and forth between him and Hermione with avid curiosity and Remus wasn't the most socially free of people. He rather liked to not be noticed, and the entire year he'd been in the limelight.

The corridors were mostly empty, and the weak sunlight filtering in through the windows after months of clouds and snow was enough to bring a smile to Hermione's face. She stopped at the open classroom door and peeked in.

Remus was sitting at his desk, reading someone's essay while absently eating a bowl of soup. He was still pale. She eased inside and walked down the aisle to stand in front of his desk. He noticed her feet first and moved his eyes all the way up to her face. It made her giddy how those golden eyes glowed now whenever he saw her.

"Hiding?" he asked.

"I thought I'd join you, if that's all right?"

"Of course," he replied, conjuring her a chair identical to his. She moved around the desk, dropped her bag, and plopped down.

"I feel like we got married all over again," she said wearily. He gave her a confused look. "With all the attention, you know? It's like it was back in November."

"Ah." He nodded sagely. He set the bowl on the desk between them and conjured her a spoon. She smiled and ate with him silently.

When the soup was gone, the essays graded, and everything put away, Remus looked at her again.

"Aren't you supposed to be in class?" he asked pleasantly.

"Double Potions," she replied cheerfully. "But a second year caused a massive explosion of some kind. No one was hurt, but the classroom is a disaster. Class has been canceled for the rest of the day."

"What an amazing thing," he replied. "I have the afternoon free as well."

They smiled at each other. "Care to go home and relax on the couch for the rest of the day?" she asked.

"I'd love nothing better. Let's go while everyone's in class."

They left the empty classroom and moved slowly back to their quarters. Remus was still weak from his transformation, though he'd be back to normal within days. Impulsively, she reached for his hand. She didn't look at him as she twined her fingers in his, though she did blush when he squeezed her hand and pulled her closer to his side.

Back in their rooms, they both relaxed completely. Neither were comfortable out in the eye of the school anymore. It seemed that every move they made, even just making their way to their class, was subject for gossip. Their rooms were like their own personal hideaway. They were safe there.

Out of habit they went to the bedroom to take off their day clothes and put on something more conducive to lazing around for the day. He was no longer shy about changing in front of her. She watched openly as he shed his robes and black trousers. He really was ridiculously well made. Not perfect; he looked too old for his age, but that was what happened when you became a werewolf.

He pulled on his loose linen trousers and a soft button-up top that had obviously seen better days and left the room to settle onto the couch. She changed hurriedly and followed. He was already on his side and had his book in his hand. Hermione took it upon herself to order some snacks and drinks from the kitchen and lit a fire. Even though the sun was shining, it was still bitterly cold.

No words were necessary between them. She sat down with her own book on her side of the couch, pulled her feet under herself. He brought his feet up to her lap. When the house elf from the kitchens came out of the fire, he set a tray full of savory snacks and a tea service on the coffee table with a high-pitched, "Enjoy, Lupins!" and left. Hermione grinned and looked at Remus, who looked entirely satisfied.

Instead of reading her book, she watched him. He usually got this sort absent expression on his face when he was reading that made him look much younger than he was. It showed her what he may have looked like as a teen, before his curse started to age him.

Hermione had been thinking an awful lot about his curse. There was something she knew, something in her brain, that told her she was missing something. She knew that somewhere in her she had the capacity to cure lycanthropy. She just couldn't figure out what that something was. It was most infuriating. It tickled at her mind, poked at her consciousness. But no matter how hard she tried to remember, she just couldn't. Ever since she'd seen Remus change, this strange awareness for it had been driving her to distraction.

Remus turned a page and settled further into the couch cushions. The light of the fire mixed with the sunlight from the window. The mixture of orange flickering on the left side of his face mixed with the bright, almost glow, from the window on the right side. It highlighted her favorite things about his face and neck. The high cheekbones, the firm mouth, the deep-set eyes, the elegant arch of his neck down to his collarbone which was barely visible behind his old buttoned shirt.

She wasn't aware of the decision until she had set her book aside and pushed his feet onto the couch next to her. He looked up, his face still holding that adorable absent expression. His eyes focused sharply, however, when she started to crawl over his legs on her hands and knees. She plucked the book he was still holding out of his hands and set it next to the tray of food. Straddling his lap, she settled herself against him and took his mouth.

If he had any reservations, he hid them well. He wrapped his arms around her back and kissed her languidly. His legs bent at the knee behind her and she settled some of her weight against them. They continued like that, kissing and sighing in pure comfort and leisure, for some time. He pulled back, however, when she started to unbutton his shirt.

"What are you doing?" he asked mildly, staring down at her small hands.

"Undressing you," she replied softly.

"It's not Friday."

"I realize that."

His eyes caught hers as his hands came up to stop her. He didn't say anything, but silently asked her if she was sure. In answer, she continued to move her fingers under his hands. The buttons came loose easily. After that, there were no more interruptions. His shirt remained on, but completely open in the front. Her shirt vanished and she squirmed out of her loose pants, quickly returning back to her position on his lap. There was no hurry. Both knew that they would not be interrupted. Class was in session, everyone in the castle was busy except for them

She slid backwards down his legs, taking his trousers and pants with her. He sat up when his legs were freed and pulled her back to him with a soft smile. She took him inside her then. His legs were crossed under her bum and her legs were wrapped around his waist. They watched each other as she sank further onto him. When she was fully seated, they both exhaled at the same time.

Their eyes held as they rocked together on the couch. The room was bright with sunshine and she realized that this was the first time they'd come together during the day. She felt so warm and comfortable, so perfect in that moment. One of his hands came up to her face and caressed her cheek. As they rocked, she touched his neck and jaw, memorizing every little detail; the color of his skin touched by sunlight, the scratchy feeling of his stubble, the faded scar under his ear.

When she began to feel the pressure building in her abdomen, she didn't speed up. When she came, she shuddered in his lap and pressed her lips to his. It took over her entire body and she tightened around him, pulling him over the edge with her. They fell back into the arm of the couch, still joined. She could feel his heart galloping into her chest and she grinned. Perhaps not what had been on the agenda for the day, but she figured it was better than anything else they could have planned anyway

* * *

Hermione's life was so different now. Every day was like a gift instead of mundane or frightening. With each passing sunset, she grew closer to the man that was her husband, her soul mate. She almost forgot that her world was in the middle of a huge war, that her best friend was in danger from an insane foe, and that she didn't really have any family left.

Remus erased her worries, her fears. Every time he looked at her, with adoration or that aching softness, she knew that she fell a little more. Was this love?

She had no idea. All she knew was that her life, which had been just this side of horrible a few months ago, was now almost a dream. She wasn't stupid, or totally mad either. She knew of the dangers of the world. But it was hard to dwell on them when she was around her husband.

Aside from that, Harry had seemed to come to himself again. He no longer avoided her or sat by himself. He joined her at lunch and in class, and was making progress with gaining Ron's friendship once more. Ron was a little hesitant, no doubt from the numerous outbursts from Harry in the past, but Hermione watched in growing amusement as Harry won Ron back, and even flirted with him a bit. Though Ron was too dense, or too straight, to realize it.

Weeks passed in quickly, turning to months. On each full moon, Hermione would join Moony in the abandoned classroom and stay with him. Moony appeared to adore her just as much as Remus. They took precautions, of course, but it was obvious that Moony would never hurt her.

It was the last week before summer break when Dumbledore called them to his office. It was a beautiful sunny day, but the old man appeared quite grim.

"I know this is not you first choice of summer plans," he said, looking at his clasped hands. "But I think you two need to stay here at Hogwarts during the break."

Hermione looked quickly at Remus.

"Why?" he asked, frowning.

"To be honest, we're not sure," Dumbledore replied. "Voldemort is planning something to do with Hermione. We know this much." Remus reached for her hand and held it tightly. Hermione didn't say anything, but a strange coil of fear began to squeeze her insides. "We don't know what these plans are, but I think it would be safest for the two of you to remain here."

"Of course," Remus replied.

"Thank you," Dumbledore said, relaxing before them. "You're free to visit outside of the grounds, but I'd prefer if it were not for any extended period of time."

"I understand," Remus said.

"While you are here, I want you to treat Hogwarts as if it were your home. There will be no curfews or anything of the like for the two of you. You are free to do whatever you please. This will change of course when the new school year begins, but take the time to enjoy Hogwarts."

Hermione and Remus left then. They'd been planning to go to Grimmauld for the summer, but Hermione liked the idea of staying at Hogwarts better. It was safer, but she rather liked that she would have the whole library to herself. The idea of staying in dreary Grimmauld Place for three whole months made her depressed before she even got there.

"I cannot believe that they're still trying to get to you," Remus muttered darkly as they made their way back to their rooms.

"I can," Hermione replied. He gave her a startled look. "Well, from what I've heard and read, he is rather tenacious and doesn't take no for an answer."

"You seem oddly calm for someone who's just been told that she's still the target of kidnapping by a crazy megalomaniac."

"I think that's because there is no safer place than Hogwarts. And we get to stay here. Not only that, but we'll get to be here without the eyes of the school on us! Hogwarts feels more like home now than any other place ever has in the past."

"Yes, I feel the same way."

They smiled at each other then; Hermione shyly while Remus just looked perfectly happy. He wrapped his arm around her and they went home.


	21. Freedom

"I just want it out in the open, here and now, that I'm not fully behind this decision."

"Everything will be fine, Hermione."

"It _might_ be fine. _Might_. That was all the conclusion we got."

"Stop worrying. If Dumbledore thought it would be a bad idea, he would have said no."

Hermione huffed and crossed her arms, frowning deeply as her husband removed his clothes in the abandoned classroom on the fifth floor. The moon was about to rise and even though he'd been taking the Wolfsbane, even though she'd be there with him, she wasn't sure about what they were about to do.

"But what if something goes wrong? What if Moony doesn't listen to me?" She hated sounding whiny.

"Hermione," Remus said with a chuckle and a shake of his head. He tossed his shirt on top of his trousers and pants and walked up to her naked. After so many months together, she was finally beginning to get comfortable with seeing him completely nude. He took her shoulders gently in his large hands and smiled into her eyes. "Moony will listen to you. The last thing he would want, even if I weren't on the Wolfsbane, would be to scare or hurt you. You're his other half. Stop worrying."

She relaxed at his touch and leaned forward into his chest. Sighing melodramatically, she wrapped her arms around his smooth waist.

"Alright," she murmured.

"Dumbledore will be there if you need him," Remus continued. "No one else is here, except for McGonagall and Snape, and they won't be anywhere near me. We have the grounds to ourselves."

She nodded. Yes, the school year was over and the students and most of the teachers had gone home for Summer break. Harry was back at his Aunt and Uncle's house. Ron was at the Burrow. It was just Hermione, Remus, Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Snape at Hogwarts and even they sometimes left.

It was hard watching her friends board the Hogwarts Express, leaving her behind. But while she missed them, she found that she liked having all of Hogwarts pretty much to herself. Unbeknownst to the student body, when they left for the summer Hogwarts changed in some ways. Some rooms, like classrooms, vanished and were replaced with other things.

Like a swimming pool.

Hermione got the shock of her life when she had left the library one day and was going to go into a classroom to work on her summer homework (she always did like the feel of classrooms) and found, instead of desks and chairs, that whole walls had vanished and that the entire floor was one big swimming pool complete with a short, medium, and tall diving board.

Another room held a sauna, the old Charms classroom was now a Jacuzzi, and the Muggle Studies classroom had turned into a sandy beach that reminded Hermione of pictures of Hawaii.

When she brought the changes up with Dumbledore, he'd merely chuckled and explained that some of the teachers liked to relax after the school year and the castle liked to help when possible. Some of the enchantments had been done centuries before by teachers and the castle remembered. He'd then pointed her in the direction of what he'd said was his favorite room and she found a room full of candy that seemed to refill itself.

Three weeks later and it was the full moon and they were trying something new. Instead of keeping Moony cooped up in a small classroom (well, small for a huge wolf) they were going to see how he did out on the grounds. It was Remus' idea and Dumbledore seemed to like it as well, since the students were all gone.

"I look forward to being able to run," Remus said softly.

"Really?"

"There's no greater joy for Moony than being able to run."

She smiled and squeezed him around the middle before stepping back. Remus' face was fuller now, healthier. His skin was starting to get a nice glow since he liked to be outdoors as much as possible in the nice weather. It warmed her soul that he looked so good. He no longer feared his transformations, saying that she made it bearable. He healed much faster afterward because he could relax now while a wolf and because of the extensive healing potions that Hermione kept stocked in their bathroom.

He caressed her cheek before going still. "The moon's rising," he said softly. She nodded and held her breath, preparing herself for the next few moments. She hated his transformations. They were obviously painful and there was nothing she could do for him.

He tensed and grimaced but made no noise as his bones started to break, as his skin began to shift. Fur sprouted all over his body and grew as he fell to all fours. She winced in pity but soon it was over. Moony stretched and shook out his fur before looking up at her letting his tongue loll out of his grinning mouth.

"Hey there, handsome," Hermione murmured, reaching out and scratching her fingers though his tawny-silver fur. He licked her wrist in welcome before bounding to the door and prancing in place. Amused, Hermione laughed. "Aho, so you know where we're going, eh?"

He responded by rearing onto his hind legs and scratching the door.

"Hold on a moment, let me open it!" she said.

Moony backed up a little and watched her intently as she unlocked the door, but he seemed too excited to sit still. He jostled her hands and headbutted her shoulder in his anticipation, obviously wanting her to hurry. When the door opened, he wriggled by her and shot into the hallway.

"Hey! Wait up!" Hermione called. Moony skidded to a halt and whined.

Dumbledore was on the other side of the door in the hallway, waiting for them. He was going to accompany them to make sure that nothing went wrong. He looked at the wolf, then at Hermione with an amazed expression. His half-moon glasses glinted in the light of the torches on the wall as he shook his head.

"How curious," he said. Hermione left the classroom and shut the door behind her.

"What's curious?" she asked as they set off down the corridor. Moony walked at her side, though it was obvious that he thought they were going much too slowly.

"He seems to understand you," Dumbledore replied. "That's most curious because he's an animal, and animals don't understand human forms of communication unless trained."

"Maybe we're different because of the soul-mate aspect," Hermione said.

"Possible," Dumbledore said with a slow nod. "Your case is so rare that I'm afraid we have no way to really find out."

"Well it doesn't really matter, does it?" Hermione asked, settling her hand on Moony's large head as they descended a set of stairs. "As long as he understands, that's all that counts."

"Truly," Dumbledore replied.

The rest of the trek to the front doors was in silence. When they finally reached the Entrance Hall, Dumbledore stopped in front of the large doors.

"Do you need me to accompany you?" he asked.

"No, I think we'll be fine," Hermione replied with a smile.

"I think so too, but if you are in need of anyone, send your Patronus. It will find one of us."

"I will, Professor."

Dumbledore then turned his attention to Moony, who was staring at the doors as though they held the secrets of life. His ears were perked forward and he was perfectly still, waiting for them to be opened.

"Remus?" Dumbledore said softly.

"That's not Remus, Professor," Hermione said gently. "That's Moony."

"Hmmm quite right," Dumbledore said. "Moony, then."

Moony looked away from the doors and gave Dumbledore an annoyed glance. Dumbledore held out his long-fingered hand to the wolf and waited. Hermione's breath caught in her throat. Oh, this was not a good idea. Moony grumbled and approached the old wizard, snuffling his fingers before rolling his great shoulders and going back to the doors.

Dumbledore laughed. "I see there is no turning his attention from what he wants most."

"No, sir," Hermione said, breathing a sigh of relief. What _had_ the old man been thinking?

Dumbledore then waved his wand and the doors opened. Moony was gone in the blink of an eye. Hermione sighed, thanked the Headmaster again, and went outside after her husband-turned-wolf. It took her a second to locate him, but indeed there he was.

Running in circles across the vast lawn.

She couldn't help but giggle. Skipping down the front steps, she watched run from one side of the lawn to the other. Ecstasy was plain in his furry face. Hermione settled herself on the last step and simply watched as Moony ran in an open space for the first time in years. After running in circles, he chased a few night-flying butterflies but apparently they were not fast enough for him and he abandoned them after only a few moments. He found a rabbit hiding in the bushes and chased them to the edge of the Forbidden Forrest, but did not follow it inside, much to Hermione's relief. The last thing she needed was for Moony to get lost. He then jumped in the lake and swam for a while before bounding out and running around in circles once more.

At some point Crookshanks had left the castle and settled at Hermione's hip. He watched the crazy antics of the wolf with an obvious look of disdain.

"Hey, he's happy," Hermione chided, scratching her cat's ears. "Need I remind you of the last time I gave you catnip?" Crookshanks' eyes narrowed up at her. "Then don't give him grief."

Moony charged up to them and came to a halt, staring at Crookshanks in curiosity. Crookshanks was not impressed, however, and commenced in cleaning himself. Moony edged closer.

"Now, be nice children," Hermione said warningly. Moony's nose brushed Crookshanks' fur and the half-kneazle jumped and hissed, which seemed to alarm Moony who flinched back and stared at Hermione as though offended. "Oh for goodness' sake," she said. "Crookshanks, grow up. Come on, Moony."

She stood up and marched into the grass and Moony followed, stopping every few steps to look back at the ginger cat, who was once again cleaning his paws.

"Don't let him get to you," Hermione said, reaching out and scrubbing her hands through the fur on Moony's side. "He's kind of a brat."

But it seemed that Moony had already forgotten Crookshanks. Sensing a new playmate, he pushed his head into Hermione's side and jumped back, wagging his tail furiously.

"Oh, you want to play, do you?" Hermione said in a sing-song voice. Gingerly, she reached out to Moony's nose and quick as she could, she tapped his muzzle and began to run, laughing all the way. She could hear his panting breaths behind her and it was obvious that he was letting her win, but he chased her around before finally tackling her gently to the ground.

Mirth bubbling up inside her, she wrestled with the wolf in the grass. The grass stained her knees and hands, but she didn't care. Moony made noises of delight as they rolled around and around.

The night was made up of moments were they wrestled, or of Moony running around more. The wolf was obviously in heaven and his happiness spread to Hermione, who played with him gleefully. They were safe, there on the grounds. No one bothered them, there were no dangers.

When the sky began to turn pink, Hermione led Moony back inside where Dumbledore was waiting for them. Crookshanks slinked inside before the huge doors closed.

"All is well?" he asked.

"Everything's great," she replied. Moony seemed to have worn himself out and was merely standing at her side with slightly droopy eyes. "I was thinking, though, that it would make more sense to just take him back to our quarters. That way he could just change and go to bed."

Dumbledore scratched his nose, considering. Finally he nodded. "I think that would be acceptable."

They nodded goodnight to each other and Hermione led the way to their private quarters with Crookshanks trailing them. When they crossed the threshold, Moony began to whine and pace. Recognizing the signals, Hermione ushered him to the bedroom where he collapsed onto the floor. Hermione kneeled beside him, swallowing back her sympathy, and wrapped her arms around the shuddering form. She closed her eyes and rocked him as he shifted, changed. In the stretch of a few heartbeats he was Remus once more.

He panted, his skin glistening with sweat and dirt.

"Are you alright?" she asked, brushing his fringe out of his eyes. He looked up at her and smiled.

"I'm fantastic," he wheezed. She laughed and shook her head.

After a quick bath (Hermione really didn't want him to get into bed while covered in dirt), they retreated to their bed and snuggled together, where Remus proved that he wasn't as tired as she had originally thought. It wasn't until an hour later that they went to sleep.


	22. Happy Birthday, Indeed

_I am so sorry for the delay! SO SORRY! Life has been absolutely crazy. I'm hoping to update more often now, but I'm not making any promises... And anyway, this chapter can totally be skipped. There's not plot in this bit at all, but I decided the story needed one last bright point because after this, it gets serious again. _

**WARNING: LEMONS**

* * *

"You look… different."

Hermione looked up from the silverware that she was setting on the table in the backyard of the Burrow and gave Ron a curious glance. Mrs. Weasley had set each of the young adults (Ron had scoffed at being called a 'child') a chore and Hermione was in charge of the dining utensils.

"In what way?" she asked.

"Just… different. Happy."

"Am I not usually happy?" She moved on to the next setting.

"Not this kind of happy," Ron said, following her and setting down water glasses.

"Ron, you're not making much sense," she said with a snort. "I've not changed, I promise."

"Yes you have," he said stubbornly. "I'm not saying it's a bad thing but you've got this happy… I dunno. Glow, I guess."

"Well I'm enjoying Hogwarts in the summer very much," she said.

"That could be it," he conceded, though didn't look convinced. Hermione didn't think he'd appreciate it if she told him the reason for her glow was a post-sexual haze.

The Burrow was full of movement as family and guests alike prepared for Harry's surprise birthday party. Mr. Weasley and Ron were soon going to leave to pick up the young hero and bring him back to the Burrow for the rest of the summer. Harry, however, only new of the stay and not the party in store for him. Because Ron's birthday had been in March and he hadn't been home to celebrate, Mrs. Weasley was making up for the lost party with Harry.

Remus was currently helping to set up the refreshment table with the twins. Hermione looked over in amusement as they set out an entire table of liquor. According to the twins, it was a rite of passage. Remus had offered to help because it was between that and helping Fleur with the decorations. One look at the beautiful blonde with ribbon in her hand and a steely glint in her eye and Remus had taken off after the twins. Wise man.

The twins, it seemed, were getting an early start on the imbibing portion of the day. There was quite a bit of guffawing at the drink table.

So far nearly all the guests had arrived. Most were milling about and chatting, waiting for the birthday boy to arrive. Bill and Charlie, visiting home for the summer from Romania, were seated by the pond and in a deep discussion about illegal smuggling. Tonks hadn't moved from the snack table in nearly an hour and had a blissful look on her face as she helped herself to more cream puffs. Luna Lovegood had stopped by, as she lived so close and had brought a colorful box for Harry that shook if anyone got too close. Some Order members where there as well and the general mood was relaxed. When Mr. Weasley popped his head out the backdoor to call for Ron, a cheer went through the small crowd.

"We'll be back in about ten minutes, maximum," Mr. Weasley said with a grin. Ron, with an air of relief, set aside the rest of the water glasses and followed his dad back inside. Hermione, her task complete, went over to sit with Ginny and wait.

Ginny was not in a happy mood. It appeared Mrs. Weasley would not let her invite Dean to Harry's birthday party and Ginny had retaliated by flat-out refusing to help with anything. Instead she'd parked herself in a lawn chair that morning and had not moved. Instead she watched everyone else prepare everything with a permanent scowl on her pretty face.

"Ginny," Hermione said with a sigh. "This is ridiculous."

"She actually told me that it was a mistake dating 'that young man'," Ginny hissed. "As if he doesn't have a name! And what does _she_ know about it?"

"Ginny, I think Mrs. Weasley just wishes that you and Harry could be together," Hermione said softly.

"Yeah, well, that's not going to happen. I practically threw myself at him at the start of the year, but he just looked panicked. I managed to make it seem as if I were having a laugh, but just barely. And Dean makes me so happy, Hermione! I just wish that _she_ would get that through her head!"

Hermione decided to remain silent as Ginny railed on. Tuning Ginny's irate voice, Hermione instead refocused on her husband. Today was the first day that they had been around Order members since they'd been married. Hermione had been nervous, worried at what people would say. She was so used to the scandalized attention from the other students that she'd figured that the adults would behave the same way. But instead, to her massive relief, everyone was very friendly. There were a few curious looks, but they at least had the decency to keep them well-hidden.

As if he felt her eyes on him, Remus turned and gave her a warm smile before being hooked back into conversation with George. The day was bright and clear and the sun brought out the color hidden in grey of his hair. No longer was Remus Lupin a bag of bones wrapped in ratty clothes. He'd filled out very well and could afford a better wardrobe on his salary. They'd had great fun the week before in Hogsmeade buying him new things. She'd picked out the shirt he was wearing that day – one the color of a robin's egg with short sleeves that showed his toned arms and square shoulders. Matched with his tan breeches he looked rather dashing. He was still rather pale, as they hadn't spent much time outdoors. But there was still plenty of summer left, and perhaps she could coax him outside during the day back at Hogwarts.

" – with you?"

Hermione snapped her attention back to Ginny, who was looking at her expectantly.

"I'm sorry, what?" Hermione said.

Ginny rolled her eyes. "If you'd take your attention OFF of your husband for more than five seconds, conversations would be much more fun with you. Anyway, I asked how everything was going with you."

"Oh, fine. Hogwarts is a lot of fun in the summer," Hermione replied, making an effort not to let her gaze wander back to Remus. Almost as if hearing Hermione's inner struggle, Ginny smirked.

"That's not what I meant," she said slyly, leaning in. "I was wondering if you were taking the opportunity of a castle empty of nearly everyone to get some much-needed shagging done."

"Ginny!" Hermione gasped, looking around quickly to make sure no one was nearby.

"No one can hear us, now tell me!"

"No! It's private! And you never know when a twin is near or not." Hermione then crossed her arms with a determined air and looked anywhere but at her best friend, who sighed dramatically, and her husband, who had moved over to talk to Kingsley Shacklebolt.

"I haven't seen my boyfriend in weeks, Hermione. I'd hoped to live vicariously through you, just for today."

"Absolutely not," Hermione replied firmly.

"Hmph, you're sex life is probably boring anyway," Ginny grumbled and jumped up with a cry of "LUNA!" and hurried off before Hermione could even think a reply.

Her sex life was most certainly not boring, Hermione thought indignantly. Sure, Ginny would probably think that because Hermione was the teacher's pet, the bookworm. She could admit that she had the stereotypical look about her. She never wore makeup, she usually had a backpack slung around her shoulders, and she rarely did anything out of the ordinary, unless she was following Harry around on some mad adventure. Certainly she wasn't sexy.

Oh, dear. Maybe she _was_ boring…

"What has you frowning so?"

Hermione looked up into the curious eyes of Remus, who'd materialized by her chair without her noticing. She bit her lip and looked away. She knew she couldn't lie to him, he could always see right through it, but she couldn't exactly tell him what was the matter.

"It's nothing," she said evasively, and cringed when her voice came out much too high.

"Oh, I think it's something," he replied as he sat down on the grass by her chair, looking up at her. Leaning his shoulder against her legs, he wrapped his hand casually around her ankle and gave her a smile. "You can tell me, Hermione."

Swallowing the urge to remain silent, she leaned down so that their faces were barely two inches apart. Married couple _talked_ to each other, that was the whole _point_. He wouldn't make fun of her.

"Do you think I'm… boring?" she asked in a whisper.

"Boring? What could make you think that? You're one of the most interesting people I know," he replied, squeezing her ankle. Tiny sparks of sensation travelled up her legs but she held back from shivering. She needed to focus.

"Not a boring person," she said, squirming a bit. Remus looked confused. "I mean… in the bedroom."

She cringed slightly when his face took the resemblance to someone who'd been bitten by a nose-biting teacup.

"I beg your pardon?" he spluttered.

"Oh, never mind," she said, horrified. She sat back and looked around frantically, trying to think of a way to escape.

"No, no, no, come back here," he said, taking her hands and pulling her forward again. She went reluctantly and wouldn't look him in the eye. "No, look at me." When she did, he looked concerned. Brilliant. "What gave you that idea?"

Completely miserable, she said, "I was just thinking and I realized that I'm just… not that interesting I guess. I'm a total bookworm, top of my class, the teacher's favorite. That doesn't exactly sound… I don't know. Sexy."

"Hermione," Remus murmured, reaching up to caress her cheek. "You're perfect. I love what we do. I'm more than satisfied by you. Bookworm you may be, boring you are not." She smiled slightly and he grinned back. "It's just too bad we're not at home, otherwise I'd prove it to you."

Her breath caught and instant heat raged in her stomach. It _was_ too bad they weren't at home, because she suddenly wished very much that they were. When he sat up and pressed his mouth to hers, she gladly accepted him. But at that moment Mr. Weasley and Ron arrived with Harry, and their moment was cut short.

Mrs. Weasley prepared a delicious lunch and everyone sat around the huge table where Harry sat at the very head. He looked thin, Hermione thought absently. She was sure Mrs. Weasley would see to that soon enough.

Hermione stayed out of the conversation mostly, instead focusing on her lunch. Ginny sat across from her so Hermione kept her gaze mostly down, still a little irritated at her friend. Halfway through the meal, she felt Remus' hand on her thigh. The skirt she'd worn for the occasion had risen when she'd sat down so his hand touched her bare skin. She jumped a bit, but no one appeared to notice. He had finished eating his lunch and was deep in a conversation with Mr. Weasley. Under the table cloth, however, his fingers ran in little circles on her skin. She shivered.

"Are you okay, Hermione?" Ginny asked, concern evident. "You look flushed. Are you feeling alright?"

Hermione blushed harder and stammered that she was indeed fine, all the while her husband's hand traveled higher on her leg. Lunch forgotten, Hermione's entire focus was now on that hand and where it was going. They were in public! Surrounded by their friends! What on earth was he thinking? But then she remembered. She'd told him once how much she'd enjoyed Viktor Krum's attentions whilst out in the public eye. An exhibitionist, Remus had called her. Perhaps she was, because she was so aroused that she was having trouble thinking. They could be caught at any moment, and the thrill only made the situation that much sweeter.

Remus' hand suddenly stopped dead on her thigh just as it was about to reach its destination. Shaking herself from her reverie, she looked around. All eyes were on her.

"I'm sorry, what?" she said in what she hoped was an innocent voice.

"I asked if you wanted to go swimming with us," Harry said from the head of the table. "We're heading to the pond, and I was wondering if you'd like to come."

"Oh, yes, of course," she said with a smile, while inside she sulked. _Bloody perfect timing, Harry, as ever._

Remus squeezed her thigh and stood up to say goodbye to the people who were leaving. Hermione remained in her seat, as she wasn't certain that her legs would support her. Soon it was just Hermione, Remus, Luna, Harry, and the Weasleys left. And Fleur, of course, but Hermione considered her a Weasley since she was engaged to Bill.

After a quick change into one of Ginny's swimsuits (a red one, of all colors), the party trooped off to the pond. The twins were the first ones in the water, followed instantly by Ginny. Hermione, however, didn't really want to take off the clothes covering her suit. Her own bathing suit was a tasteful blue color, not fire engine red. But then, no one was going to look at her, she thought. No one but Remus, and he was more than welcome to.

Taking a deep breath, she whipped off her shirt and yanked down her skirt. Afraid to look at anyone, she ran and dove into the water. When she poked her head back up, it seemed that no one had even seen her. Good, that was good. Then all thoughts but vengeance were wiped from her mind as one of the twins splashed her.

She splashed, dunked, pulled, pushed, and screamed along with the rest of them. It had been so long since she could just have a laugh with her friends, that she'd almost forgotten what it could be like. The twins were having way too much fun terrorizing Harry, who'd had to take his glasses off to swim and couldn't see very well. Charlie was taking turns tossing Ginny and Luna into the water from the dock, his muscles rippling down his arms and stomach as he launched them high. Ron was soon targeted by Fred and a raging splash fight ensued. Hermione tread the water in place, watching everyone fondly.

"Hermione!" Charlie called out. "Want a turn?"

"Erm, no, I don't think so," she called back. Of course everyone then urged her up, calling her all manner of names to get her up onto the dock. If she stayed in the water it would look as though she had something to hide. Mustering up her courage and trying to look nonchalant, she made her way to the ladder off the side of the dock. When she'd pulled herself completely out of the water, someone whistled.

"Oh honestly!" she said waspishly, glaring at the twins.

"Who knew you'd been hiding that body under your robes!" George called out.

"Remus did," Fred replied, much to the hilarity of everyone except Hermione. She glanced over at Remus, who was camped out with Bill, Fleur, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley on the bank of the pond. He, of course, just smiled.

Giving up, she turned to jump back into the water but Charlie stopped her. "Oh no you don't!" he said with a laugh. Ignoring her loud (and flailing) protests, he picked her up easily and tossed her high into the air. Her stomach swooped and she landed with a huge splash.

She came up laughing and spluttering and soon it was someone else's turn. After that she wasn't afraid to get out of the water. They weren't making fun of her because she had a _bad_ body, but because it was a rather _good_ body. Charlie launched her four more times after that.

At one point Fred climbed up onto one of the rocks jutting out of the pond. Loudly he bellowed, "I'm the king of this pond! All bow to me!" Unbeknownst to Fred, however, Ginny had climbed onto the rock behind him. After his announcement, she firmly grasped his shorts and yanked them down. Hermione saw more of Fred than she ever wanted to see. With a look of horror he tried to pull his shorts back up, but ended up falling into the pond with them still around his ankles. Ginny remained on the rock, doubled over with laughter.

Fred came back up and was obviously not amused.

"Oi! There are _girls_ here!" he shrieked.

"Oh come on, Fred," Charlie said, still roaring with laughter. "Fleur's marrying Bill. Hermione's _already_ married to Remus."

"There's still Luna!"

"It's alright Fred," Luna said in her ethereal voice. "It was a very nice penis."

It wasn't long after that memorable moment when Ginny tread over to where Hermione was chatting with Harry and Ron.

"Hermione," Ginny whispered urgently.

"What?" Hermione replied, worried that maybe her suit was coming undone.

"Your husband," Ginny said lowly.

"What?" Hermione said again, looking quickly to the bank. But Remus appeared fine. He was lying out on a towel in a pair of trunks that belonged to Bill. Shirtless, he was obviously working on not being so pale.

"Um, maybe the fact that he's gorgeous?" Ginny said.

The four of them, Hermione, Ginny, Harry, and Ron all looked over at Remus. At that moment he stretched and his wiry muscles rippled down his body.

"Yes, I suppose he is," Hermione said lightly.

"You get that all to yourself?" Ginny said with a hint of envy in her voice. Hermione only smiled.

"Yeah," Harry said, tilting his head. "He's not too bad looking."

Ron's head whipped around and he looked at Harry curiously but didn't say anything. Hermione decided that she had swum enough by that point. Her hands and feet were prunes and she felt like she could use some sun herself.

"I'm getting out for a bit," she said and with a small wave, she swam to the bank. Remus had moved her things to join his at his side. She reached for her towel but he beat her to it and held it up above his lap, obviously meaning for her to sit in it so that he could wrap that towel around her.

"You can't be serious," she said, glancing to the adults at his side. Remus only laughed and reached up to pull her down onto his legs. The heat of his skin was a shock to her cold flesh. He rubbed the towel quickly over her, warming her, and smiled. She couldn't help but lean forward and give him a smacking kiss. Soon she was settled in his lap and watching her friends continue to act like lunatics.

Dinner consisted of a picnic spread out between everyone in the backyard of the Burrow. The evening turned cool and soon blankets were fetched and everyone camped outside to talk. Bill told stories about the goings-on at Gringotts, Charlie relayed a few about some of the people he worked with at the reserve. The twins had great fun talking about some of their customers and the strange things that they came in looking for.

"One woman asked if he had an adult line," George said. "And I was like, 'Adult line? Of jokes?'"

Mrs. Weasley did not like the direction this conversation was going, apparently. "George, I don't think-"

"And then she said, 'Yeah! For bachelorette parties and the like!' And that got us thinking, hey. Maybe there's a market for that sort of thing. We've been working on a few things…"

Hermione listened in amusement, curled in Remus' lap with a shared blanket wrapped around them. Hermione laughed, bouncing a bit, as George finished his story. She felt more than heard Remus' groan. His chest was pressed to her back and she could feel the low vibration all the way down her spine. She wasn't sure if it was the atmosphere (the candles, the stars, the food) or just because she'd had a really good day, but Hermione felt just a bit daring.

Locking away the timid part of herself that wanted to her to remain still, she sat back completely and pressed her bum into Remus' groin. A small puff of air escaped his lips and caressed her ear. He shifted, pretending to readjust her in his lap while really moving one of his arms free from around her. Her kept her face carefully blank while inside she felt like a bunch of fireworks were about to go off. His hand found her knee and trailed all the way up her thigh and with absolutely no preamble, made its way under the bottoms of the swimsuit.

She breathed deeply, though silently. Anyone with eyes would be able to see and understand what was happening under the blanket, so she needed to keep her face relaxed. But oh, he knew how to touch her. He played with her curls, trailing his fingers through them before he stroked deeper. Her skin felt hot, her breath felt heavy. But looking at either of them, one could never guess what was happening. He looked slightly bored and she appeared to be staring off into space. But in reality, he kept her on the brink of release for minutes.

Just when her muscles would tighten, just when she was about to be thrown off the edge of oblivion with her friends _right there_, he would ease his ministrations. Tease her. She wanted to throttle him. When once again he left her wanting, she decided enough was enough.

"Oh!" she said loudly, interrupting the conversation around her. Remus' hand stopped. "I think I left my wand by the pond."

"Do you want me to run and get it?" George offered.

"Oh that's alright, I'll go get it myself," she said with a smile. She pulled her husband's hand away from herself and stood. "I'll be back."

"Do you want me to go with you?" Remus asked. She sincerely hoped that she was the only one that saw the glint in his eye.

"If you like," she said innocently. "I won't be gone that long."

"I'll come anyway," he said. "It's chilly out."

And so they left the rest of the party to their conversation and made their way back to the general direction of the pond. But they were only just barely of site of everyone else when Remus grabbed her arm and hauled her close. Her heart throbbing in her chest, she met his ravaging mouth eagerly.

"Can you be silent?" he whispered against her mouth. She shook her head, still kissing him madly. "Oh you're going to have to try. I'm going to take you here, now, and if you make any noise, they'll hear you."

"Oh, Merlin, use a silencing charm!" she moaned.

"No, I don't think I will," he said with an evil smile.

The next thing she knew, he had her back to a tree and her legs were tight around his hips. Her top was up around her neck and her bottoms had vanished. When it became apparent that she couldn't hold back her groans, he covered her mouth with his hand, the one that had driven her crazy under the blanket, and they took their fill of each other while staring into the other's eyes. His pace was fast and soon became crazed. Hermione was glad of the blanket behind her to save her back from the bark of the tree. When he could no longer be silent either, she held her own hand to his mouth. Locked in an intimate embrace and keeping each other quiet, they stroked each other higher.

And then the fireworks in her belly went off, causing her to shake and squeeze him tighter. Through the flashes of light going off in her eyes she felt him shudder and go rigid. Breathing heavily through their noses, they remained locked like that for many moments, both too sated and happy to move. But they had to eventually. At some point someone would notice that they'd been gone too long.

They righted themselves without a word, putting the suits back in the proper places (they found Hermione's bottoms in a bush). They returned to everyone else without Hermione's wand. She said that it must have been with her clothes the whole time and said she felt silly. Almost everyone seemed convinced.

But as they took their seat, they heard Fred whisper to George, "I thought it was _Harry's_ birthday."


	23. The Dream and the Reality

_The calm of the forest matched her mood perfectly. She sat serenely on the ground, the moonlight trickling through the canopy of the woods. The silvery light outlined the fur of the two figures in front of her. Both were beautiful, both looked at her with want, though in two different ways._

_The one on the right watched her with a warm kind of need, his tawny eyes bright with it. _

_The one on the left regarded her with what felt like desperation. His red eyes blazed as he sat, his muscles bunched as though ready to pounce. _

_These two figures called to her, both needing her as much as she needed them. But it was her choice, and such a hard choice it was. She wanted them both, but that could not be._

"_Choose me," the one on the left rasped. His voice sent a horrifying, yet delicious, thrill down her spine._

_Of course she would choose him._

"_Choose me," said the one on the right. Oh his voice, his lovely voice._

_Of course she would choose him._

"_No, you belong to me," said the one on the left. Ah yes, her master. Of course._

"_You are half of me," said the other. Indeed, her mate. Of course._

"_It's in your blood," growled the red-eyed one._

"_I'm in your soul," whispered the other._

_How could she choose? Each were a part of her. She couldn't possible say no to either. She whined, and the noise was pitiful in the serenity of the night. _

"_I'M in your blood," barked the one with the grey stripe down his back, his red eyes flashing. _

_She turned to the other, ready for his reply. But he didn't have one. He regarded her sadly, lowering his snout, pleading with his eyes._

"_You must choose me!" said the other, his sharp-clawed paws inching toward her. "You must!"_

_Her sense of calm was evaporating. She wanted this stranger, very much. Her blood called for him just as he called for her. But part of her was disgusted by him. She wanted her mate. Her soul wanted her to go to the right, to go to her _mate_. But the call of her blood was just as strong. They pulled at her. _

"_You must make your own choice," said her mate, his eyes never leaving hers. "What does your soul tell you?"_

"_No!" spat the other. "No, listen to your blood… what does your blood say to you?"_

_Oh no. She couldn't decide! Both were pulling at her, tearing at her. _

"_Choose me!" roared the one with red eyes._

_Of course…_

"_Choose me, please," moaned the one with tawny eyes._

_Of course…_

"_Choose…"_

_Of course._

Hermione bolted upright in bed. Remus' arm slid from where it had been wrapped around her waist, but he slept on. Her heart was pounding and her body was covered in sweat. Surely she'd had a nightmare, but she couldn't…quite…remember…

A choice? The forest… No, that couldn't be right. What…

But it was gone. She tried to remember, but the more she focused, the more she tried, the faster the images vanished until she was left with nothing. The thought worried her more than she wanted to admit.

But it was a dream. Only a dream. Dreams didn't mean anything, no matter what Trelawny proclaimed. Releasing a huge breath, she laid back down and pulled Remus's arm about her once more.

Just a silly dream.

*

Oh, there was nothing like the air! The sweet, clear air with the stretch of grass and rabbits and birds and things that fluttered in the night! And the best part was that his mate was with him!

Moony raced through the grass, the tinkling of his mate's laughter floating through the air behind him. Oh, how he loved that sound! He loved her laughter, her scent, her smell, her skin, her eyes, her face, her hands, her legs, and if she would stop wearing those shoes on her feet, he bet he'd love her toes as well. Maybe he'd steal the shoes when they wrestled, because surely they'd wrestle before the night was over. She had to know it was one of his favorite things. Right up there with chasing rabbits.

He took a running leap into the lake, the splash most satisfactory around him. He loved splashing. Almost as much as wrestling.

He clambered out of the lake and shook off the excess water, glorying in the patter of the drops as they hit the ground. It was almost like rain.

He loved rain.

As a matter of fact, there wasn't much Moony _didn't_ love.

He took off back to the slim figure sitting on the steps of the castle. Her orange companion was back and as much as he'd like to investigate, he wanted to wrestle more. He gave the orange ball of fluff and curious look before gently (he didn't want to hurt his mate; never never never) taking her shirt in his mouth and pulling her away from the hard steps. It wouldn't do for her to hit her head after all and wrestling could be dangerous business.

"Moony!" she said with a giggle. Oh, giggles were wonderful things! "Where are you taking me?"

He growled playfully, released her shirt, and got down with his hind-quarters in the air, his tail wagging frantically.

"Oh, I see," his mate said with an indulgent smile. "You want to wrestle?"

He barked. She grinned. And then they were a tangle of skin, fur, hair, and laughter. He kept his mouth firmly closed because his other self, the one in his brain, told him to be very careful. Usually he ignored his other self because he could be quite boring, but Moony felt this was important. So he didn't let his tongue loll out like he'd wanted to, but still placed the random very careful kiss to her cheek or hand. He had to show his affection somehow, didn't he? And he was _careful_. He felt that his other self was pleased.

He sensed when she got tired and released her. Of course, he was never tired.

"You got me all wet," she said. Lying with her arms and legs splayed, her eyes were closed and she appeared quite content. He kissed her cheek again. "Oh, alright. I forgive you."

He yipped and took off once more for the lake. He wanted to splash again. He didn't have much longer, he could tell. The moon was about to set and he wanted one last splash. It wasn't until he'd resurfaced, shook out his fur once more (oh, lovely rain-patter sound!), and then took a deep breath through his nose than he realized something was wrong. Had he only been breathing through his nose for the last five minutes, instead of playing in the water, he might have made it in time. And because of this, he'd never forgive himself.

*

_It must be timed perfectly._

His master's words rang through his ears as he charged through the Forbidden Forest.

_The castle is barely occupied. I have Severus with me. You must be quick. Ignore the other. He can't do permanent damage if you move fast._

His lungs were burning, but he'd be in worse shape if he disobeyed his orders. He didn't like this plan. He honestly didn't think it'd work. But he liked his life, and he wanted to keep it, so he ran.

_When you are back in the forest, drink the potion. It should hold you until you can find an Apparating point. _

The little bottle tied around his neck thumped his chest with every step. It was his very lifeline.

_If you succeed, you will be rewarded above all others._

Yes. He will have his own army, his own following, and he will serve the Dark Lord and be loved more than the others. More than Bellatrix. He will have as many victims as he likes and he will have first bite of them all.

Yes, Fenrir Greyback thought to himself. It will be perfect.

The trees were thinning ahead. It was time. He hoped the other, his one and only cub to turn away, would not be close to the girl. He'd heard rumors that the cub had grown into an alpha stronger than most, even though he had no pack. Perhaps he'd been weakened from being locked up during the full moon for so many years. One could certainly hope.

But as Greyback charged out of the forest and onto the ground of Hogwarts, he saw that luck was on his side. The cub, no… He was no longer a cub at all. The other wolf was all the way on the other side of the grounds in the lake.

Perfect.

The silhouette of the girl was propped up on her elbows in the middle of the grass right in front of him. Even better than perfect. The other wolf had no chance to reach him in time.

She didn't even have time to scream. He was on her, her weak limbs totally lax until the last moment. He gave her once last second of lucidity, long enough to see the recognition and terror in her large brown eyes (and oh, it was delightful; one of his very favorite things) and then he tore into her shoulder with his teeth. Her pathetic attempts to push him away amused him as her screams rent the calm air of the grounds.

And her blood was sweet on his tongue.


	24. Sharp Numbness

The moon was about to set. He could feel it in his very muscles, his bones. Normally he'd be pacing, trying to keep the edge off. Or at least lying down, curled into a ball to fight feeling as though every body part were about to fly off.

But this night, this full moon, he ran. He ran as fast as his four paws could take him. All the good feelings, the warmth and tenderness for his mate, had vanished under pure terror as the huge beast pounced the slim female figure on the grass. Moony heard her screams and knew he was too late.

The other wolf, his work done, moved to charge back to the woods. He left her there, bleeding and screaming in pain and something else.

_No, nonono. _

Moony didn't stop but urged himself faster as he saw her shift, flinch, and throw herself backwards to the ground. He was getting closer, almost to her, when her bones began to break. He was at her side, finally, when the fur sprouted along her skin. Her face seemed to snap and then bulge out as her nose elongated into a snout.

He wanted more than anything to follow the other wolf, to catch him and rip him apart, but he could not leave his mate. Not now, not when she was in so much pain. He whined, unable to help himself, as she began to shake.

_It's almost over, I swear._

The other one, the one in his mind, was screaming in pain. Never before had they ever felt so much like one being as they did then, watching their soul mate become exactly like them.

Her paws ripped up patches of grass as she continued to change. Moony vaguely recalled when he came into being. It was a confusing and terrifying experience and he'd had no one. But she would have him, and he'd always be there for her.

At least it was complete. Her screams were now the howls of a wolf. She was beautiful; fur the chestnut color that her human hair had been with chocolate brown eyes. Those eyes were trained on him and they shared a brief moment of shared recognition before suddenly he felt it – the moon was setting. She would have more pain right away. It was so unfair that his howls seemed longer, louder, as he shifted. But he could still hear his mate's shrieks as well. More confusion, more pain.

It was so _unfair_.

Remus was beyond angry. He was beyond livid. He didn't even feel the pain as he became human again. Moony was still there in his mind, his wolfish instincts on the shifting form next to him. Remus was concerned for her as well, but he had to get to Greyback. He had to catch him, hurt him, kill him. He had to.

And so when his transformation was complete, he sent one look at his unconscious wife and then stumbled to his feet. Greyback was at the very edge of the grass by the woods in a naked heap on the ground. Remus forced himself beyond the pain of newly ripped and re-sealed muscles and broken bones. His vision was a hazy red as he staggered forward, pushing faster and faster until he was there at Greyback's side.

He let out a roar that was nowhere near human and began to beat on the semi-conscious man. He used his fists, his nails and he feet. He wanted him to bleed, to be disfigured. To die.

"Why?" he screamed with each new attack. Greyback moaned and tried to shift away, to get out of Remus' reach but Remus would not let that happen. "Why, you son of a bitch, WHY?"

Greyback didn't respond. Instead he ripped something from around his neck and poured it into his mouth as Remus dug his nails into the skin of his back and yanked, causing him to bleed. It wasn't enough. But to his horror, the scratches healed immediately. Greyback kicked out with his foot and connected with Remus' chest. Remus went flying back and Greyback got to his feet, appearing quite recuperated from his transformation.

"Stupid pup," Greyback rasped, walking to Remus' side and kicking him again in the ribs. Remus grunted and now he was the one trying to get away, to run, but he had no potion of his own and the anger had vanished behind a wall of fear. "To bad you no longer belong to me, otherwise I'd make you pay. But I haven't the time just now. Soon, pup. So very soon."

With one last vicious kick, he was gone. Remus moaned in pain, wanting nothing more to curl up in a ball and die, but Hermione was still alone. He had to get back to her. He forced himself to his hands and knees and crawled, unable to get to his feet once more. Dimly he heard the castle doors open.

_McGonagall_, he thought with relief. She was the only one left in the castle this night. He glanced over and saw Crookshanks leading the way and felt warmth in his heart for the furry little creature. Remus finally reached Hermione's side, took her hand, and though he tried to remain conscious, he failed. With their hands firmly clasped, he collapsed at her side.

*

Before she even opened her eyes, she knew something was wrong. Immediately she felt the full-body ache. Barely shifting caused her to involuntarily moan. She didn't even want to open her eyes anymore.

"_Is she awake?"_

"_I can't tell. It might have been in her sleep or something."_

Who was there? Where was she? She slit her eyes open and moaned again at the light.

"_Hermione!"_

"The windows…" she groaned. "It's too bright…"

In an instant the light dimmed and she could open her eyes a little more. The ceiling looked familiar… high walls and stone ceiling…

"Where am I?" Her voice was so soft she could barely hear herself, but someone must have been sitting close.

"_The hospital wing."_

Hospital wing? What on earth –

And then she remembered. Huge and heavy, putrid breath and sharp bloody teeth. She flinched in memory, which caused every muscle in her body to scream in pain. She gasped and tried to relax, but couldn't.

"_Calm down, Hermione! You need to heal!"_

"It hurts… Merlin, it hurts!"

"_Madam Pomfrey!"_

There were pounding footsteps and suddenly she felt nothing. She heard nothing. There was nothing.

The next time she regained consciousness, it was mostly dark. A single candle flickered at her side and she regarded it with mild interest. She couldn't seem to muster any more than mild anything.

"_Hermione, you need to sleep."_

Oh, she knew that voice. It slid over her like honey and warmth.

"Remus…"

"_Sleep, Hermione. Just for a little longer."_

"Remus…please…"

"_For me, Hermione."_

"Yes…"

And she fell asleep again. This time feeling warm and safe with the barest touch of fingers to her forehead.

When she awoke for the third time, the sun was back up and she knew right away, sensed somehow, that there were many people around her. She turned her head to the side and saw numerous heads of red hair, along with one of pink. She looked to her right and in the chair next to her she saw the familiar head messy black hair and she smiled.

"Harry?" Merlin, her voice sounded like she'd swallowed glass.

"Hermione!"

There were murmurs, exclamations. Her smile faded a bit as she closed her eyes.

"What's going on?" she asked. The room suddenly fell totally silent. "Guys?"

She opened her eyes again and saw the faces of her friends. Her surrogate family. They all looked the same – afraid. Unease made her shift, and she cringed at the soreness of her limbs, especially her left shoulder.

"No, don't move too much," Mrs. Weasley said, moving forward. "You're still a bit of a mess, dear."

"Mess?"

"Yeah," Harry said, leaning forward. "Don't you remember?"

"Harry!" Mrs. Weasley scolded. "Don't!"

"She's going to remember at some point!" he retorted, his voice hushed.

Remember. Teeth. Blood. Screaming. Ripping. Breaking.

"Oh…" she gasped. "_No_…"

The hospital wing doors opened and she looked over sharply, ignoring the pain in her neck. Dumbledore appeared with Remus at his side. She'd never seen Remus look so empty, so drawn.

"Remus?" she said. He looked at her and she wanted to scream. To cry. To _die_, because he looked completely hopeless and she knew. "I… was bitten?"

He closed his eyes briefly with a grimace of pain before moving to her side. Harry vacated his chair and Remus took his place and reached for her hand. She gripped it like a lifeline.

"Hermione," Dumbledore said heavily. "I'm… so sorry."

"What… how…?"

"Fenrir Greyback seemed to have gotten through the forest because it recognized him not as a man, but as a creature," Dumbledore said. Remus bowed his head down. No one else appeared shocked; they must have heard this before.

"How long have I been… out?" she asked.

"Four days," Remus replied, holding her hand tighter. "The first change is always the hardest."

"I don't even remember," she said.

"That's probably a good thing," he said darkly.

"Greyback bit you just before the moon set," Dumbledore said, pulling up a chair beside Remus. She'd never seen him look so sad. It was almost indecent. Dumbledore twinkled, always. Now he looked diminished somehow. "All we can do now is conjecture, but I think he knew that he would not have the time to get through the forest, get to you, bite you, and take you with him all in one night. He would have had to fight off Moony as well. So he timed it just right so that you'd change, but then change back."

"Why?" she asked, totally bewildered. "What does he get out of it?"

Remus and Dumbledore shared a look before Dumbledore continued. "We think he is working for Voldemort, and that this was the plan they've been putting into effect. The plan we were trying to save you from by keeping you here."

"But… I don't understand," she said. "How will Greyback biting me take me to Voldemort?"

"It's called the Werewolf Call," Remus said softly. "If you are bitten by a male, you then belong to that male's pack. He is the alpha and you run with others that he has changed. Unless, of course, you're a male as well. You then have the option of fighting your maker for your freedom. I did when after I graduated and now I'm my own alpha, so to speak. Usually the maker doesn't call. It's very rare for one to call to his pack."

"But… what if you're a female?"

"You don't have that option," Remus said hoarsely. Her heart stopped.

"What? _What_?"

"Females don't have that kind of dominance," Remus said brokenly. "They can over other females, but not males."

"So, what then? I have no choice?" she said, inwardly warring between terror and pure anger.

"We don't know that," Dumbledore said. "You are a unique case. You see, because you and Remus are mates, you might be able to join his pack instead because of your bond. There's a possibility you could deny Greyback if Moony wants you with him."

"Which he will," Remus growled.

"Of course," Dumbledore said with a nod.

"But… but we don't know for sure?" she asked softly.

"No," Dumbledore said when Remus remained silent. "No, we do not know for sure."

She took a deep breath. She was not comforted. What if the call of Greyback was too strong? What if she couldn't deny him?

"So he'll try on the full moon, then?" she asked.

"Yes," Dumbledore replied.

"What if… I don't know. What if you lock me up, or something? So that he can't reach me?"

"It's not that simple, Hermione," Remus said, looking into her eyes. He looked so defeated. "It's a call in your blood. It's painful to deny it. That's why my transformations were always so horrible in school. Not only did I not have the Wolfsbane, but every month I had my alpha demand that I come to him. It wasn't until I could fight him, deny him, that it went away. I'm an alpha now. If it comes to it, I might be able to fight him again for leadership of his pack, thereby keeping you and overthrowing him-"

"I don't want you fighting anyone," Hermione interjected.

"There might not be any choice," he whispered.

"I… I don't know what to say," she murmured. There was silence for many moments and as it continued, the very air of the hospital wing seemed to grow tense. Mr. Weasley shifted from foot to foot. Ron was biting a fingernail. Tonks kept running her hair over her hair. McGonagall was furiously blinking.

"Hermione…" Dumbledore stopped, looked at Remus. But Remus wasn't looking at anyone. He bowed over their joined hands and she had the distinct impression that he was about to cry.

"Remus…"

He didn't reply. He just leaned further until his forehead touched their hands.

"Hermione, I'm afraid there's more," Dumbledore said slowly. She looked from him to her husband, to her friends. They all were studiously not looking at her.

"What else could there possibly be?" she said, her eyes darting back to Dumbledore.

"Maybe we should leave," McGonagall said, motioning to the rest.

"No, stay where you are," she said sharply in her gravelly voice. They all went still. "Just tell me what's wrong!"

"I'm afraid… Hermione you were with child when you were attacked," Dumbledore said finally.

Hermione didn't quite comprehend at first. "I'm sorry? I was… Wait. I _was_?"

"The change… Hermione the change forced you to miscarry. A changing physiology cannot hold a stationary fetus. The child did not change and at such an early stage could not handle the trauma of your changing body. I'm afraid… it was lost."

"Oh." That seemed to be all she could say. She'd been pregnant? And hadn't even known it? Suddenly a nameless child, one with its father's hair and eyes smiled at her from inside her head.

"Hermione, do you understand?" Remus asked with his head still bowed.

"Yes," she said, her voice hollow. "I lost a baby."

"Yes, but… don't you see? Female werewolves are infertile. They cannot carry children."

Her numbness became sharp. "I… cannot have children." It was a statement, not a question. Remus still shook his head. "I'm… infertile." He finally looked at her and she saw the heartbreak in his eyes. It matched what she, herself, was feeling. No children. Ever. She'd never be a mother. He'd never be a father. They'd never have a child with his features. Or hers, for that matter.

"I…" She couldn't speak beyond that. There was nothing to say.

Dimly she realized that everyone was leaving. She heard Harry mumble that he'd come back later. The Weasleys said they'd visit soon as well. Dumbledore murmured his apologies. But she couldn't take her eyes from that of her husband's. They just looked at each other, each turning hollow.

When the door closed behind everyone it was like a floodgate opened. She sobbed. She cried for what was, what could have been, and what was going to be.

She was a werewolf.

She was unable to have children.

She was in horrible danger.

Remus climbed onto her bed with her and held her, and they cried together for the future it appeared they'd never have.


	25. Revelations

It had been two days since Hermione had regained consciousness, and Remus never once left her alone in the hospital wing. He couldn't leave her side. After what had happened during the full moon, he felt he needed to be by her, no matter what. Madam Pomfrey said she'd only need one more night in the infirmary, and then she'd be able to go back to their quarters.

"Just to be sure," she'd said. Just to be sure that Hermione really was alright.

They'd move back the following day, September the first. The first day of term. Everyone was coming back to school tomorrow, and Remus felt like it couldn't be any worse timing. She needed time to heal, to come into her own with her new life before the surge of intrusive students came back. But there was nothing they could do about it. Dumbledore had offered her the allowance of taking the first week off, but Hermione had almost been offended.

Remus almost smiled. Hermione? Take time off from school? Never.

She'd spent most of the last two days asleep. Every time she woke up, her eyes were haunted and it looked like she couldn't bear to be conscious for any longer than eating a meal took. They'd hardly spoken. He didn't really know what to say.

He could tell her about life as a werewolf – the tiredness, the ostracism, the loneliness. But he didn't want to tell her about those things. He didn't want her to feel any worse. As for the other thing… Merlin. She couldn't have _children_. They'd never talked about it, really. It seemed like something that could wait a few years, then bring up after they'd lived for a while. He hadn't even known she'd been pregnant. Well, neither had she.

It had been that young. So young, that it wasn't even known. So young that it had been missed before it could be loved. And God, Remus would have loved it. It wasn't until he'd seen the blood, heard the word 'miscarriage', that he'd realized that he _did_ want to be a father. Sons, daughters. Anything. He would have loved them.

There were other options, of course, but those seemed just as impossible now. Who would allow two werewolves to adopt a child? Who would want to be a surrogate? A friend, possibly, but it still had to be approved by St. Mungo's and that was a very distant dream indeed.

And through it all, he could only blame himself. If she hadn't married him, this wouldn't have happened. He'd known it would be a disaster. And God, he'd been right. He looked down at her pale face. She looked like a marble statue with curly brown hair. Even in sleep she looked sad. Remus' nose and eyes began to burn with unshed tears. He'd ruined her. He couldn't save her and that had been the whole point of the marriage. He'd failed. His elbows propped on her bed, he covered his face with his hands.

He was full to bursting with different emotions – despair, terror, anger, failure. But there was something else as well. Something he was trying to ignore with his every fiber and something that filled him with more fear than anything else. Because no matter what people said, it was something that could tear someone apart.

The doors to the hospital wing opened. Remus looked up and his heavy heart sank further. Snape. The last person Remus wanted to be around. Judging by the look on Snape's face, he didn't want to be around Remus either. Remus didn't say anything as Snape billowed over, setting a few vials on Hermione's bedside table.

"Lupin," Snape muttered.

Remus made a noise that was a cross between a grunt and hiss.

"Make sure she takes that when she wakens," Snape continued, pointing to the vials.

"What is it?"

"New version of the old healing draught."

"Is it safe?"

"Yes, it's bloody safe, you idiot."

"Oh, fuck you, Snape," Remus snapped, surging to his feet and glaring at the other man across Hermione's bed. Snape sneered at him and then turned his attention to Hermione, who hadn't moved.

The silence was full of tension. Why didn't Snape just leave? He'd left the potions for Hermione. What else did he want?

"Lupin," Snape said in a voice so low that Remus almost didn't catch it.

"What?"

"Might it be possible for me to examine the bite?"

"_What_?" Remus yelled.

"Shut up, fool, or you'll wake her," Snape hissed. "I want to look at the bite."

"Why?" Remus demanded.

Snape glared at him, then turned on his heel and marched toward the door. Remus probably should have let him go, but he was too wired, to angry, to just let Snape walk away.

"Snape!" Remus called, striding around Hermione's bed and following the other man. "Snape, stop, damn it!" He caught up to him and grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop in his tracks. Snape whirled around, wand in hand and pointing right between Remus's eyes but Remus didn't even flinch.

"Unhand me," Snape growled.

"No," Remus replied. "Why do you want to see her bite?"

"Why do you care?"

"Just answer me!"

Snape was still and quiet for so long that Remus wondered at how he could do it. But Remus never let him go.

"I have..." Snape's voice was soft, but then his face hardened once more. "I don't have to explain myself to you."

"She's my wife, and she's unconscious," Remus said. "I'm looking out for her right now. Obviously you have a reason and she's not in any state to make any decisions at the moment. What do you want with her?"

Remus could hear Snape's teeth grinding together; his lips were pursed so hard that they were white. When he spoke, his face didn't even change.

"I've had some ideas lately," he said finally. "I didn't want to talk with you, or anyone for that matter, about it because I don't want to raise anyone's hopes. But if I could see the bite, run a few diagnostics on it, I might be able to see if I'm heading in the right direction."

Remus narrowed his eyes. "And you have so much spare time, do you?"

"Why do you distrust me?" Snape demanded.

"Because she's my _wife_, and you _just happened_ to be at Voldemort's side the night she was attacked," Remus replied darkly.

Snape shrugged the arm that Remus still had in a hard grip but Remus wouldn't let him go. Not yet. Not until he'd explained himself.

"If you'd release me, I'd tell you why. Not that you deserve it," Snape said, eyeing the hand on his arm.

Remus growled and with one last vicious squeeze, let go. He smiled in satisfaction when Snape flexed his hand in pain.

"The Dark Lord called me to his side that night," Snape said lowly. "He wouldn't tell me why. When I arrived he assigned me mundane tasks and then released me at dawn. I have the feeling…" he trailed off. His eyes were haunted. "I believe the Dark Lord suspects me. I'm positive he believed I'd have helped Miss Gr – your wife, had I been here."

"And he let you come back?"

"I do not understand it any better than you."

Remus sighed, all animosity gone, and ran a hand through his hair. He was just too tired for this right now.

"Come on," he said, leading the way back to Hermione's side. Snape followed silently.

Remus pulled back the sheet covering Hermione's left shoulder, showing the inflamed teeth marks, and moved around to the other side of the bed to give Snape more room. He watched, blatantly curious, as Snape bent over and examined each tooth mark. He waved his wand and symbols appeared over the wounds in a silvery mist, telling Snape things that Remus couldn't begin to guess at.

"Do you have time to look into this sort of thing right now?" Remus asked.

"I'm not a spy every moment of every day," Snape replied. For Snape, that was almost humor.

"School's going to start tomorrow," Remus said dully.

"I know."

"I just don't see-"

"Lupin," Snape said sharply. "It might not occur to you, since you're so blissfully wed and have a young wife on hand, but the rest of us have to keep our minds off of the war somehow. For me, I keep so busy that I do not have time to dwell on anything else."

Remus had never really thought about Snape's life. He hadn't cared. He remembered that his friends had been horrible to Snape in school, but Remus had stayed out of it and pointedly did not dwell on it. But now he was faced with something he did not want to see – Snape was a human being. One who had more responsibility than Remus could comprehend. And just now, he realized how hard that responsibility was. So if Snape needed one more thing to keep his mind off of it, then Remus wasn't going to stop him.

"Do yours look like this?" Snape said suddenly.

"My what?"

"Your scars," Snape said impatiently.

"Exactly like it," Remus said. "It almost makes me ill how similar they are."

"Where are they?"

"Left shoulder as well. It's where he always bites his…victims."

Suddenly it became too much for Remus. The harsh reality that lay before him suddenly struck him as much too real. He didn't want to break down, especially not in front of Snape, but he was helpless as he was assaulted by his despair. He dropped into the chair by Hermione's cot and grabbed her hand, pressing it to his cheek.

"It's my fault," he whispered.

"How so?"

He couldn't look at Snape. He refused. Instead he looked at her too-pale face as the words poured from his mouth.

"I was too far away," Remus said. "I was playing in the goddamned lake. I wasn't breathing through my nose, so I didn't smell Greyback until it was too late. I married her to protect her, and I've failed. _Because I wanted to splash in the lake_. It's all been one big waste. The marriage, everything. It was for nothing. It made no difference."

"Lupin-"

"She deserves so much better," Remus continued. "She doesn't deserve this life that she's going to be forced to have. She's too brilliant, too smart. She had such a bright future, and now it's ruined. And now she can't even have children. If I'd only done my bloody job, she wouldn't be in this position! If I'd just done what was asked of me-"

"Stop whining and listen to me," Snape said softly, but with total authority, cutting Remus off quite effectively. Shocked, Remus could only sit there and stare up at Snape's ugly face. "Trying to take the blame on yourself, while utterly _noble_ of you, is a waste of time. Feeling sorry for yourself is not going to help her, and I have a feeling we're going to need her before this is over. Potter needs her, and she can't help him if she's miserable. For reasons that escape me, you make her happy. So make her happy and stop being a goddamned martyr."

Remus's jaw dropped. Without another word, Snape strode around the bed and disappeared through the doors. While part of Remus wanted to follow him and punch him in his vilifying mouth, most of him realized that, no matter how much Remus wanted to deny it, Snape was right. He looked back at Hermione. She hadn't moved once all evening.

She was going to need someone to help her. To be there for her. Her life was about to change drastically as she once more joined the real world. He took her hand once more. He'd be that person for her. Because even though they were soul mates, Remus had come to a startling realization while he'd been by her side for the last six days.

Remus was in love with her.

*

After an entire summer with the castle basically to herself, it was hard to get comfortable in the Great Hall surrounded by hundreds of students. Of course, it might have been uncomfortable anyway.

Hermione felt contaminated. Her very blood no longer felt like it belonged to her. She was still weak, and tired, but it was the Sorting Feast. She wouldn't have missed it for anything. She needed something normal in her life right now. Harry was on one side of her, Ron on the other. This was right, normal. They had been a little hesitant around her at first that morning, obviously unsure of how to treat her. But soon enough they became their boisterous selves. They made her smile for the first time in what felt like ages.

Remus had been busy for most of the day, getting his classroom and everything ready for his first classes tomorrow. Tonight would be her first night back in her own bed since the full moon. And of course, it had been a week since their last sexual interlude so they'd have to – well. She was not looking forward to it. Something told her that Remus going to treat her like glass and for some reason the very idea annoyed her tremendously.

She tried to pay attention to the Sorting Hat. She tried to focus as the new first years were sorted to their new houses. But she could only manage a few half-hearted claps for each new Gryffindor. As Head Girl, she should have probably mustered up a few cheers as well, but she just didn't want to. It didn't bode well for the rest of the year. It hadn't even started yet and she wasn't even trying. Perhaps once she was back in her classes, back where she excelled, life wouldn't seem so hard. As for the moment, she had to remind herself to breathe.

When the food appeared before her, she realized she had absolutely no appetite. The very smell, magnified now due to her curse (and wasn't that an unpleasant surprise), made her feel ill. Her head was throbbing with the noise around her battering her ears. When did everyone get so _loud_?

She couldn't take it anymore. Before she even realized what she was doing, she'd pushed away from the table and gotten to her feet.

"Hermione?" Harry said with a frown.

"Ron, you'll have to show the first years to the tower alone," Hermione said with forced calm. "I just need to…"

"It's alright, Hermione," Ron said quickly. "I can do it."

"Thanks," she said with deep appreciation before hurrying from the room.

Immediately once she stepped out the doors to the Great Hall, the noise and smells were almost gone. Her stomach still rolling unpleasantly, she trudged up to her quarters. Hearing footfalls behind her, she turned. It was Remus, but he was all the way at the end of the corridor. She sighed. She'd never get used to these new 'gifts'.

"Hello," she said despondently when he reached her side.

"Are you alright?" he asked, slipping his hand over hers. The contact calmed her nerves.

"The food… it smelled so wrong," she said with a grimace. "And everyone was so loud…"

"You'll get used to it," he replied. They continued on their way down the hall. "It takes a while, and you'll be uncomfortable for a while, but it settles."

"Mm," she mumbled.

Back in their quarters, she went directly to the closet and tugged off her clothes. They were so _confining_. She finally felt like she could breathe freely when she was nude. Skipping putting on her pajamas, she went back into the bedroom. Remus was pulling down the covers on the bed, still fully dressed.

"You know it's been a week," she said. Elaborating felt pointless.

"Yes," he replied, continuing to ready the bed for sleep. "I was thinking… We could do it like we used to."

"What, with a potion?"

"Yes, I made some today," he said softly.

"You… why?"

He finally looked at her and she sensed his discomfort. "I know that you're not feeling your best right now," he said. "I thought it would be easier for you that way."

Inexplicable rage hit her square in the chest. He must have perceived her change in temper because he suddenly looked wary.

"Do you think I'm _fragile_?" she snarled. "Do you think _I can't take it_? Am I such a poor little weakling that I can't even have sex with my own husband now?"

"No! That's not what I-"

"I'm so sick of everyone walking on eggshells around me!" she bellowed. "I'm tired of you looking at me like I'm on my bloody deathbed! I'm _healed_! I'm _fine_! I was tired, but not anymore. You know what I want?" she asked, striding toward him.

"Hermione," he said holding up his hands. She shoved them aside.

"I want to fuck," she hissed. "I want sex. I don't want to make love, I don't want to take my time about it. I want you to fuck me. Do you think you can handle that?"

His eyes flared. "Do _you_ think you can handle it?" His voice was soft, but his _eyes_, his gorgeous eyes told her that what she said excited him.

"I know I can," she said. "And if I get even the slightest feeling that you're taking it easy on me, I'm going to bite you. Hard."

And with that, she shoved him backwards onto their bed. They worked together to rip his clothes of and when he was as naked as she, she jumped on top of him and held his wrists above his head while she attacked his mouth with her own. She no longer felt like herself. She was an animal – he was her mate. It was as simple as that.

He was not content to lie there and let her use him. He shoved up and rolled her to her back and set his teeth to her nipple. She cried out and arched back, glorying in the head that rushed through her body. This was what she needed. She tugged his hair, writhed under him, and pulled one of his hands between her thighs. She was already on fire and he immediately used two fingers inside her, stroking her hard. Ah, but it felt perfect.

Her legs wrapped around his hips and she pulled him to her. His hand vanished and soon they were simply rubbing themselves against one another. His mouth found hers and their teeth clanked together at the force. His hardness rubbed against the little knot of nerves and sent her into a frenzy. But she still had the sense of mind to know that when she came, she wanted him inside her.

"I need you," she gasped against his mouth.

"How?" he growled. "How do you want me?"

"Behind me," she said.

He groaned low in his throat and helped her roll over. He yanked her hips back and they both cried out when he thrust into her. She was so close already, but she held off, waiting for him. He was plunging into her madly, holding her with one arm around her waist and the other pressed against the mattress. It couldn't have been more perfect.

"_Close_," he said into her ear.

She pushed her hips back into his with every thrust, the fire inside of her raging higher. When his breaths became shorter, she reached down herself and touched where all of that heat congregated. It felt so good, all of it. Him, his body, her hand. She felt so earthy and _powerful_. She had reduced him to what he was at that moment – an animal like her.

His teeth suddenly sank shallowly into the back of her neck and that was it – she exploded. All that fire rushed through her body, causing her to shake and call out his name. He spasmed behind her, wrapped his arm around her hips and held her to him _hard_. They shook and twitched together, his teeth still on her neck, before collapsing onto their sides while still joined.

Breathing hard, he said, "I think we proved you're not fragile."

"I think we proved it quite thoroughly," she replied, pulling his arm tighter around herself. "Thank you."

"Any time," he said and she could hear the smile in his voice.

And at that moment, she felt like maybe it wouldn't be so bad. She wasn't alone. She had him – and she knew he'd be there for her. Yes, she'd rather not be a werewolf. But she'd best make what she could out of life anyway. She wouldn't be Hermione Granger/Lupin if she didn't.

Funny how sex could put someone in a better frame of mind.


	26. The Full Moon

_Author's Note: Sorry for the delay. I was doing so good, too! Hopefully this'll help you forgive me..._

* * *

"This room is brilliant!" Ron exclaimed, turning around in place and staring avidly at the room Hermione had led him and Harry to.

"Yes, I know," she replied with amusement. "I found it during the summer and though at the time it would be a lovely place to study."

The room was on the eight floor facing the grounds and Quidditch Pitch. One whole wall was made of windows so the view was quite breathtaking. Inside the room there were no real forms of furniture. Instead the middle of the floor was a kind of pit full of multi-colored pillows. There was a huge fireplace that Hermione couldn't wait to try in the winter with a paper attached that led directly to the kitchens, just like in her rooms with Remus. Overall the room was cozy and calming, something Hermione appreciated very much.

Ron went directly for the paper and ordered food, even though he'd just had dinner. Harry wandered to the windows and Hermione went for the pit. She'd been right when she'd assumed that she'd feel more like herself once classes had started. They were delightfully challenging and on top of her Head Girl duties, she rarely had a moment to breathe. She liked it that way. There were moments of great discomfort – the general masses of students didn't seem to know how to bathe properly so she was constantly assaulted by the scents of cloying perfumes and body odor. Some times were worse than others. And now with her improved sense of hearing, she could hear just exactly what people said about her behind her back. For the most part it was jealousy, which she didn't mind one bit. But some people said some truly nasty things that, no matter how often she told herself that it meant nothing to her, really did hurt her feelings. But there was no help for small people with small minds.

Overall, the first two weeks back to school had been pleasant. She spent her days in classes and doing her work, and she spent the nights in the arms of her husband. Along with her heightened sense of smell and hearing, she had other heightened senses as well. The very thought caused her to blush. She looked up from her book to make sure her friends weren't watching her. Harry had a good start on his Defense homework and Ron was staring off into space.

Hermione didn't realize that werewolves were…well…_randier_ than the average person. It wasn't anything obscene, but she found that she was much more sensitive in certain areas. Along with that, she thought about sex much more than should have been healthy. Well that wasn't quite true. It wasn't _sex_ she thought about, exactly. It was sex with Remus. As a matter of fact, she just thought about Remus much more than she used to. When she wasn't thinking about her schoolwork, it was usually Remus that was on her mind.

What he might be doing, if he was thinking about her, how might she seduce him that night. These things plagued her constantly. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing. There were worse things to think about. When she'd swallowed her mortification and asked him about it, he informed her that he was usually thinking the same things. After some discussion, they decided it had to be the soul-mate bond. He swore up and down that he had not thought about her that way that (much) until the night he'd seen her from Moony's eyes. She understood completely, for she had only started after seeing him from her wolf's eyes.

She'd thought about him, about _sex_, certainly. Just… not all the time. But now she at least understood what Remus had meant when he'd told her that animals knew things that people didn't. Even though she'd only been a wolf for barely five seconds, she'd recognized him in a totally different way; she'd recognized his soul. She couldn't remember much beyond that odd feeling. When she'd woken up, however, and been around him longer, she'd realized how changed she truly was. He wasn't just Remus any longer. He was _Remus_, her mate, her other half. She understood him so much better now, and it was wonderful.

It was that feeling that gave her hope for the upcoming full moon. Greyback would come for her. This was almost certain. Surely she wouldn't be able to leave her mate? If she did, if she was forced away… She was sure the separation would destroy her.

"I thought we were going to learn about Animaguses this year," Ron grumbled, doodling on the side of his parchment. "We already know how to transfigure objects and animals. Why are we doing it again?"

"We're going over what we learned before trying more challenging things," Hermione said without looking up from her work. "We'll go into Animagi before the holidays."

"I'm looking forward to that," Harry said wistfully. "It'd be right handy, that would."

"Yes, but it's incredibly difficult," Hermione said. "I heard it takes years to perfect."

"Well you're just a ray of sunshine, aren't you?" Ron said with a smirk. "Don't ruin it for us, Hermione."

She shrugged, but smiled. She loved her friends. They hadn't asked her a single thing about her lycanthropy. They knew she'd tell them when she was ready. But she didn't know what, exactly, to tell them. She would _not_ tell them about her heightened sex drive, nor about her connection with Remus. There were some things that were private. Anyway, after the next full moon she was sure she'd have plenty to tell them.

"I say we claim this room as our work room," Ron said suddenly.

"Yeah?" Harry replied, looking around with a serene smile.

"Yeah," Ron said. "It's nice. Good scouting, Hermione."

"Thanks Ron," Hermione replied wryly, then went back to her homework.

*

Remus was learning to appreciate the weekends. Hermione spent her weeknights with the boys in their new Work Room and didn't come back to him in their rooms until curfew. And then sometimes she'd have to go patrol the corridors, since it was part of her Head Girl duties. He understood that she had her work and her chores for the school, and he respected them. It didn't mean he had to like them. But luckily Hermione was a very studious student and usually had all her work done by the weekend, thereby having more time for him.

He wasn't afraid to admit, if only to himself, that he was incredibly possessive. He _liked_ having her around. He _liked_ it when she sat with him on the sofa reading a book, like she was doing now. It was irritating that she couldn't do it every night. But he did get her at bedtime, at least. He got to sleep with her in his arms. That was something.

But weekends were his favorite. He made sure to get all his work done for his classes during the week so that when the weekend came, he could focus on her. Their relationship had changed yet again. She had seen him through the eyes of her wolf and now understood their bond. No longer was she shy about her thoughts, her needs. She simply told him. And sometimes, words were unnecessary. They felt each other in a way that went beyond words.

And he could admit that her newly-heightened sex drive did not bother him one jot. She'd been a more than willing partner before, but now… He smiled. Now she was not afraid to be the instigator. It was amazing to have such a person for him, and to be that person for her. Their relationship was a partnership, a friendship. It was beautiful.

While the initial realization that he'd fallen in love had terrified him, he now realized that it wasn't something to be afraid of. It was glorious. True, he didn't want to tell her yet. She was already overwhelmed with everything else in her life, the last thing she needed was him to spill his heart in some lovesick manner.

"Remus," Hermione said, looking up from her book. They were seated on the couch next to each other, with his arm wrapped around her shoulders. He glanced over at her.

"Yes?" he asked, tilting his head.

"I have an itch that I can't scratch," she said matter-of-factly. He saw the glint in her eyes and all the blood in his body immediately shot to his groin.

"Is that so?" he replied, trying in vain to keep his voice level.

"Well, I suppose I _could_ scratch it myself," she said, touching a finger to her chin. _That_ mental image made him even harder. "But I'd rather you do it. You do it so well, you see."

"Yes, I do see," he said, playing along. "Well, my dear, the best way to scratch an itch is with direct contact. Your clothes will have to go."

"I understand," she said seriously, but the glint sharpened and she reached for the button of her denims. And right at that moment, there was a knock at their portrait.

Remus's head fell back. "God hates me."

"Make that the both of us," Hermione muttered, shoving herself to her feet and stalking to the door. Remus smiled. She was adorable when she was impatient.

Hermione pulled the portrait open and Snape stalked inside without an invitation. In each of his hands was a goblet. With a pang, Remus realized the second one was for Hermione. Oh, but how he wished that there was no reason for her to have it.

"One week until the full moon," Snape announced. Remus felt that was rather unnecessary. He bloody knew when the full moon was.

"Really?" Hermione said sarcastically. "I had no idea."

"Do be impertinent," Snape snapped. "Wolfsbane. Everyday. Don't put anything in it or it'll be useless."

"Yes sir," Hermione said, looking into her goblet with curiosity. Snape handed Remus the other one.

"Thank you, Severus," Remus said heavily.

Snape nodded once sharply, then turned on his heel and stalked away again.

"Man of few words, that one," Hermione said thoughtfully as she resumed her seat beside him.

"Actually, if you get him angry enough, he has plenty of words," Remus replied blandly. "Alright, on the count of three let's just down it."

"Is it that bad?"

"It's worse."

She looked doubtfully down at the potion again but counted with him to three and they swallowed at the same time. The taste of overcooked cabbage mixed with bitter chocolate assaulted his taste buds. Beside him, Hermione gagged.

"That's disgusting!" she gasped.

"Yes, it is," Remus replied.

"We have to have that every day?" she exclaimed.

"For one whole week leading up to the full moon, yes," he said.

"Urgh."

That about summed up his thoughts on it too.

"Still have an itch?" he asked hesitantly. He was aroused himself, but he wouldn't press her if the potion had ruined the mood.

"It's somewhat dampened, but nothing brushing my teeth and looking at you won't fix."

He grinned, and they raced to the bathroom to brush their teeth together, and then look their fill.

*

The moon had not yet risen. It was minutes away, however. Hermione could feel it in her very blood. All week she'd become more agitated as she felt the coming full moon. How could Remus stand this every month for as long as he had? She felt as if her muscles itched. But she would have to accustom herself to it. It was her life now.

The Forbidden Forest was their refuge this month. Dumbledore had created a special kind of paddock deep into the forest for her and Remus. The walls were wards to keep them inside and five people patrolled the outside – Bill, Charlie, Tonks, and Shacklebolt. Each had one side of the large square and were riding broomsticks. That would make it safer for them when Greyback came for no matter how fast we was, he couldn't fly and therefore wouldn't be able to reach them. Hermione and Remus were already inside their paddock, waiting.

"Remus," she said, reaching for his hand. He tilted his head toward her. "I'm scared."

His face softened and he pulled her to his chest. "I know."

The tension in her body was worsening. The moon was about to rise. Swallowing her embarrassment, she pulled off her clothes when Remus did. Hopefully their guardians weren't looking. Thinking about the night to come, a sob left her throat.

"I'm here," Remus said once they were nude. "And I won't let you go without a fight."

"The wards might be strong enough to keep me here," she said hopefully, biting her lip.

"True," he replied sadly. "But the pain of not joining your alpha is unimaginable. And I don't know how I'll be able to stand it, seeing you like that if you can't go."

"I won't leave," she said stubbornly. "I _won't_. I _can't_."

"Hermione, no one would blame you if you left. It's instinct."

"It's not that!" she shouted. He stood there so calmly, so still. How could he do it? She wanted to tear her own hair out! She wanted to make him understand!

"What is it, then?"

"I don't want to leave you! You're part of me! I think it would be more painful to leave you than to not join _him_!"

Finally, a reaction. His lips parted and he looked like he was about to say something but he had no time. The first light of the moon suddenly reached them and the breath was stolen from her lungs. So much pain. She was being ripped apart, broken, torn. Everything was changing and the process could not have been more painful. Every bone snapped, her flesh stretched. Her face felt like it was crumbling. And then she was shifting, melting, heating, repairing. Her screams changed in tone, becoming howls. She was no longer Hermione. Who, or what, she was, was something else entirely.

The clearing, which had been so dark moments ago, was as clear as day to her new eyes. As the pain vanished, she looked around. Where was she? What was happening? She felt… like two beings. She was herself, her wolf self, and yet there was another presence in her brain that was making words, but she didn't understand. She felt her paws for the first time, her furry body, her large head, and understood what she was, but not who.

She looked to her right and nearly jumped out of her skin. There was another wolf there! Before she could decide if it was hostile or not, it looked into her eyes.

_Oh_.

Even new to wolf form, even though she was barely a minute old, she knew her mate. Her soul heard his call. Her joy was boundless, warming her new muscles. She yipped happily and pounced him. He rolled with her easily, making happy gasping sounds. He nipped her ears, licked her snout, and hugged her tight with his forearms. She felt complete, somehow, with this brown and grey stranger with pretty golden eyes.

Something bright darted in front of her and she went still before surging up and charging after the odd little fluttering bug. Her mate joined her and they chased the bug all over the paddock, barking and yipping together. Oh, she loved chasing bugs!

But the bug soon left their enclosed space. She realized this as she charged after it and ran headlong into an invisible wall. She heard laughter and looked up. High above her was a human on a flying…something.

"Alright there, Hermione?"

It was a female. She didn't know who this person was or what they wanted, but she didn't sense any hostility. She sat down and looked up curiously. Her mate came to her side and barked up at the female. He was _amused_. Amused that she'd run into something. Well, that wouldn't do. When he looked back at her, she pounced him again before tearing off. Playing was her favorite thing! And she loved playing with her mate above everything else. At least, she thought she did. She hadn't done much else yet.

He caught up to her quickly and tackled her to the ground. The wrestled, and she found that wrestling was another of her very favorite things! She wasn't very good at it, but her mate was patient and gentle and never never never hurt her.

So it was with shock that she went rigid and cried out. Her mate rolled out from under her and licked her snout. Her _blood_, it was on fire! She had to leave, she had to find her alpha. She had to go. Now. She had to end this pain. She couldn't stand it. She writhed and darted to her feet before charging to the western side of the paddock and throwing herself at the invisible wall. The other presence in her mind was screaming at her, but she didn't understand.

She was burning, her veins were white hot. She had to leave now! Her alpha was calling her and she had to obey!

Her mate cautiously came to her side and regarded her with sad eyes. _Oh_. Her mate. His very presence was soothing, but not enough. She yelped pitifully. What should she do? She couldn't leave her mate. But she had to obey. But the paddock wouldn't let her leave. Through the invisible barrier, she saw her alpha appear through the trees.

"Greyback! Western side!" something from above shouted. What was happening?

The air was filled with red lights, all aimed at her alpha. But the light rebounded off of him as though he had his own barrier.

"Silver is the only thing that'll hit him."

"I bloody well know that, but my aim with this knife isn't all that great."

She had to get to him. But how? The call in her blood intensified the longer she waited. She groaned in pain, shaking from it. Her mate nuzzled her face. Oh, she didn't want to leave him! She wanted to stay! But how? It was impossible. He nudged her harder and gained her full attention. He then pawed the ground. Her instincts suddenly took over. He wanted her to be part of his pack and in order to join, she must show submission. Ignoring the flames eating her insides, she sank to the ground, lowered her tail and waited.

Her mate licked her ear once in a calming gesture and then lightly wrapped his huge jaws around the back of her neck in a show of domination. He didn't pierce her skin, only showed her that he was in control. He then released her and she rolled onto her back, offering him the most vulnerable parts of her body to show that she trusted him implicitly. His eyes glowed in the darkness and he threw his head back and howled. Scrambling to her feet, she joined him. Together they sat under the light of the moon and howled.

The burning receded slowly before vanishing completely. The wolf on the other side of the barrier growled and snarled in anger, but she and her mate continued to howl their celebration of their new pack. The other wolf growled one last time before vanishing into the forest. Together, she and her mate ceased their howls and stared at each other.

He saved her. She leaned toward him and licked his face, his ears, and nuzzled his neck. She was free of that other one forever because of her mate.

"Well wasn't that something?"

"Should we track him?"

"There's no point. He's going back to Voldemort and I'd rather not face that bastard right now."

"Voldemort's not going to be happy."

"Not my problem."

She ignored the humans above her and continued to cuddle her mate. He seemed to like it. The rest of the night was spent wrestling, chasing butterflies, and cuddling. She was content in her new life, with her mate. When the sun started to rise, she and her mate calmly watched the first rays inch over the horizon through the trees. And together they shifted, broke, melted, changed. It hurt, horribly, but his presence made it bearable.

And in the pink light of sunrise, Hermione looked at her husband. There was no movement, no sound, for many moments. She was safe. She was _his_.

"The wards are down now," Shacklebolt said as he landed. "You two need help to the castle?"

"It would be appreciated," Remus rasped, never taking his eyes off hers.

Without a word, she lurched into his arms, ignoring the aches and pain, and held him tight. And in her mind she said the words her lips would not form.

_I love you, so much._


	27. Happy Halloween

WARNING: Lemons ahoy! Very lemon-y lemons, too. Skip to the middle if you're offended!

* * *

Remus was very deeply asleep and knew it. Because he knew it, he could shape it however he saw fit. At the moment, he was reclined in a shallow stream in the middle of a bright forest on a sunny day. The warm rays from the sun caressed his bare skin as the cold water streaked over his heated skin. A few feet away on a patch of grass was his mate. Her chocolate fur shone in the sunlight and her deep, dark eyes watched him contentedly.

Nothing could have been more perfect.

Well, almost nothing. She seemed to sense it as well. Her large, furry head lifted and she regarded him for a moment before shifting into her human form. Her gloriously pale skin was almost too bright for his eyes. Dark brown curls cascaded over her shoulders and chest and her eyes held a hint of mischief.

"May I join you?" she asked.

"Always," he breathed.

Comfortable in her nudity there, alone with him in the stream, she hopped over to him lithely and kneeled in the stream, seemingly mindless of the brisk water. Slowly she stretched herself out, never once looking away from his eyes.

_Provocateur_, he thought. She was stunning, always so startlingly perfect to his eyes.

She was soon soaked, like he was. Curled into his side, she ran her hand over his chest through the water.

"Do you know what today is?" Her voice sounded so near, yet at the same time far away.

"What's today?"

"Silly man. How could you forget?"

"I'm sorry. What is today?"

"You'll have to remember all on your own. While you work on that, I have something else I want to do."

His dream was starting to fade. Uselessly, he tried to stay asleep, to keep these visions in his head. The Hermione of his dream slid down his body and he _really_ didn't want to wake up. Especially now, since she was taking him into her mouth. But as the dream faded, he became aware that the tight, wet heat around his prick was becoming more tangible, more real.

With a start, he was awake and staring down between his legs. Hermione was there, situated between his thighs, her eyes on his and her mouth wrapped around his blatantly aroused cock.

"Wha-"

She sucked and he lost track of what he was saying. With a wet pop, she released him and said, "Did you figure out what today is, yet?"

"Ah, no, but if you keep doing that I might," he said huskily, both from arousal and sleep.

She chuckled naughtily and took him back into her mouth. He groaned loudly when she hummed. He'd had blowjobs before, and good ones, but there was nothing like her. She was not all that experienced and maybe that was part of it – the fact that he knew he was the only one she'd ever done this for, but it turned him on tremendously. He began to rock his hips into her mouth gently and she let him for a few moments before releasing him again. He made a sound of dismay.

"I want something else now," she said lightly. Several scenarios careened through his mind at once, but she took the decision out of his hands as she crawled up his body, straddled his hips, and took him into her.

They both sighed explosively as she took each inch at a very slow pace. She was more than ready for him. Did using her mouth on him affect her that much? Or had she touched herself beside him as he'd been asleep, just to prepare her for now? Either way the thought caused him to harden even further inside her. His hands slid up her thighs and settled on her hips just so that he could touch her. He let her set her own pace. She seemed to be of a mind to go slow this morning, and that was perfectly fine by him.

Settling her hands upon his chest, she slowly moved up and down, sliding herself gloriously on his sensitive arousal. Each lift, each descent, sparked more fireworks down his spine. He groaned, clenching his eyes shut, when she slowly, slowly, settled herself all the way down until they were completely joined. Then, again slowly, as though she weren't sure she'd be allowed to continue, she began to rotate her hips in a circular motion.

"Hermione!" Remus gasped.

"What, was it wrong?" she asked in alarm, stopping her delicious movement.

"No! No, no it wasn't wrong," Remus said vehemently. "Not wrong, just don't stop! Please don't stop."

Giving him the most innocently curious look, something direct from his deepest fantasies, she started again. It seemed to do for her the same thing it did for him – it drove her ever higher. It took everything he had not to thrust up, to let her ride him, but he held himself still and watched her as his brain turned to mush. Her eyes were closed in bliss, her hair was wild around her head, shoulders, and chest. She switched the direction of her hips and moved faster. Her inner walls were beginning to tighten. She was close. Her hands fluttered up into the air and he caught them in his own just as he felt her begin to spasm. She keened lowly and convulsed, pulling him deeper inside of her.

He held himself off from his own climax, letting himself watch her tremble until his finally collapsed onto his chest. He was torn between agony and bliss, he wanted desperately to come but he was only too happy just holding her as she breathed shakily into his neck. But soon baser needs overruled.

"Hermione," he moaned. "I need-"

"_Yes_," she practically _purred_ and just like that, all of his gentlemanly efforts evaporated.

He wrapped his arms around her slender back, planted his feet into the mattress, and thrust his hips up into her repeatedly, going faster and faster as he lost his mind in pleasure. She was so tight, so wet, so _perfect_. Slender fingers slid into his hair and then her lips were on his, she was kissing him passionately. One of his hands slid to the nape of her neck and he held her back, her neck, kissed her deeply, and let himself go. His release was body-wrenching, starting at the base of his spine and racing through his body. He thrust his hips deep and came hard inside her.

Her lips continued to nuzzle his chin, cheeks, and eyelids as he breathed roughly. He held her tight, unwilling to let her go quite yet. They were still joined. It amazed him that he'd had her for a full year, when it felt so new still. Perhaps it was because of his gradual building of feelings for her. Every day he was finding something new about himself, about Hermione, that made his love for her grow.

They started as relative strangers and now, a year later, she was his soul mate and love of his life. A year.

_A year._

"Happy anniversary," he said softly, looking up at her. "And happy Halloween."

Her eyes warmed and she smiled widely. "You _do_ remember." She then settled her head under his chin and sighed.

"I'm glad I married you," he said, holding her even tighter.

"I am too," she replied, hugging him hard around his ribs. "Very much."

* * *

The air of the school was filled with excited tension. It was Halloween, and everyone was looking forward to the Halloween Feast. Even Hermione, who had tried to avoid huge groups of people, choosing instead to eat in her rooms instead of the Great Hall, was excited for the evening. Classes seemed to take twice as long and at the end of the day, Snape kept them late out what appeared to be sheer spite.

But finally, finally, classes were over and they were free. Bags deposited safely back in their respective rooms, Harry, Ron, and Hermione made their way to the Great Hall. They ran into Luna just outside the doors.

"Where's Ginny?" Hermione asked, looking around them at the crowd of Gryffindors and searching for the familiar head of red.

"Haven't seen her since this morning," Ron replied absently. "We'll see her in the hall."

"The last time I saw her was in Charms," Luna said with a serene smile. Hermione shrugged and followed her friends into the hall.

It was full of chattering students and the noise grated a bit on Hermione's ears, but she tried to ignore it. Fluttering bats moved in groups around the enchanted ceiling, four large jack-o-lanterns were placed in each corner and filled with candles so that their faces flickered with life, and the suits of armor had been replaced with skeletons that moved whenever someone got close.

Harry sat between Ron and Hermione and looked a bit peaky. He'd been complaining of a headache all afternoon, saying that his head felt too big for his neck. Hermione thought he might be coming down with a cold and performed a Booster Charm, to engage his body's defenses a bit from viruses. It seemed to help a bit and at least he appeared ecxited for the evening.

There wasn't a speech. As soon as the tables were full of students, the plates magically filled with food and the feast was begun.

Hermione filled her plate and had just started eating when the skeletons came to life and began to dance around the edge of the hall. Music seemed to play from the very walls and everyone laughed in amazement as the skeletons did a little jig, and then went back to their places, appearing as if they'd never moved at all. Minutes later, new music started and this time the bats flew in formation around the room, striking massive forms of the house crests and finishing with spelling out 'Happy Halloween!' Then the massive pumpkins began to sing. Their large mouths formed realistically around the words as they spoke them, singing about tricks, treats, and the witching hour.

The pumpkins were still singing when Hermione began to realize that something was wrong. The candles along the ceiling were going out, one by one. Harry went rigid next to her.

"Harry?" she said.

He frowned, staring at his plate of half-eaten food.

"Harry, mate?" Ron said, nudging his side.

"He's here," Harry gasped just as a high, cold voice filled the very air of the Great Hall.

"_Harry Potter_," it said, and the room went deathly quiet. Hermione felt cold, terrified as she stared at her best friend. "_Harry Potter, you know where to find me_."

Dumbledore stood from his seat at the high table as every pair of eyes in the hall turned to Harry.

"_Come to me, or she dies_."

The room erupted into startled whispers just as Harry lurched to his feet. "He's got Ginny," he said before running to the doorway.

"Harry!" Hermione screamed, jumping up and running after him. Ron was already ahead of her.

People were screaming, some were calling after Harry. The doors to the Great Hall slammed shut just after Harry, Hermione and Ron ran out of them, keeping the students and teachers inside.

"Harry, wait!" Hermione called. "You don't even have a plan!"

"He's going to kill her!" Harry yelled, skidding to a stop and turning a furious look to Hermione. "He lured her down there to get me to come after her!"

"You need to _think_, Harry!" Hermione said. "You need to think before charging down there! He wants you to come in a rush, with no plan. He'll beat you that way!"

"I want my fucking sister back," Ron snarled. "I'm going with you."

"No!" Harry said, aghast. "No, Ron, you can't."

"Why not?" Ron demanded. "She's my bloody sister!"

"You can't," Harry moaned, looking completely dejected. "I won't lose you, too."

"Harry, what-"

Harry reached out, grabbed Ron by the front of his robes, hauled him in and kissed him hard. Hermione wasn't sure where to look. It seemed rude to watch as her best friends kissed in front of her, but she wasn't sure what else to do.

"I love you," Harry said against Ron's mouth. "He's killed everyone I love. He won't kill you."

And then Harry tore off out the front doors.

"Harry, no!" Ron screamed, running after him.

"Ron!" Hermione called, taking off as well.

She was full of terror and had no plan. She couldn't hear the sounds of the night. Her heartbeat, the wind in her ears, and the thuds of her feet on the dirt drive. That was her world at the moment. Harry wanted them to stay, but Ron had ruined that. Plus, Harry was in to state of mind battle right now. He needed them. But what could she do? She was the brightest witch of her age, but what good what that do now as she and two other teenagers faced the darkest wizard of the century? Was she about to die?

She didn't want to die. She had only just found love. Was it to be taken away so quickly? Was she never going to be able to speak those words to her soul mate? If she lived, she vowed, the very next time she saw him, she'd tell him. If she lived.

Harry was faster than either Ron or Hermione. The gates loomed up ahead, already open. How did that happen? The school was supposed to be under protection!

"Harry, please!" she yelled in futility. He ran on, his wand drawn.

Hogsmead was within sight. She could see the thatched roofs, the quaint buildings. And in the very middle of that serene sweetness, was Voldemort. He looked like a hole in the middle of a cake, ruining everything. Ginny was lying at his feet, unmoving. He grinned as Harry charged ever closer.

"Harry, NO!" Ron screamed.

"So easy, Harry Potter," Voldemort called out. Harry didn't slow. "Almost too easy," he said in disappointment.

There was no banter. He didn't monologue, as bad guys did in movies and books. As Harry had told her he did in the graveyard. Voldemort, it seemed, had had enough. He raised his wand.

The moment was a blink, a moment. A lifetime. Hermione screamed, there was a flash of green, and then Harry was no longer running. His legs stopped and he went face down in the dirt. But he was not the only one. Voldemort collapsed as well.

Ron cried out, reaching Harry's side and falling to his knees. Hermione couldn't hear her own heartbeat anymore. She couldn't hear much beyond Ron's sobs. He'd gathered Harry's limp body in his long, lanky arms and was crying so hard that he was shaking them both. Hermione looked down at them, oddly numb. How? Harry wasn't supposed to die. He was supposed to live, to be the reluctant hero. To live happily ever after. But no, he was still, his eyes closed and mouth open slightly. He could have been asleep. Ron was speaking between sobs.

"…_I love you…you git…weren't supposed to die... why…love..."_

Hermione couldn't listen anymore. Pain was beginning to trickle in. Her very soul hurt, as though a part of it had died. Harry was a part of her, of her _self_. And he was gone. As she went over to Ginny's unconscious form and kneeled by her side, she realized absently that there were no Death Eaters there. Voldemort, the greatest Dark wizard of all time, was feet away.

_Neither can live while the other survives. _

The prophecy was fulfilled.

"_Ennervate_," Hermione murmured, pointing her wand at Ginny. The beautiful little redhead stirred and her bright brown eyes opened.

"Hermione?" she said groggily. "What-?"

"It's over," Hermione said dully.

"What?" But then she looked beyond Hermione's shoulder and saw Ron, still clutching Harry's body. "No," she gasped. "Harry?" Hermione shook her head and looked away. "Harry… no! But Ron… Ron loved him…"

"He's gone."

"But…"

"He's _gone_, Ginny. He's dead. He's… dead."

And then she was crying, sobbing as hard as Ron. She and Ginny clutched each other close as they cried. Her mind just couldn't wrap around it. Harry, their broody, bad-tempered best friend, was gone. He'd never force her to talk about Quidditch again. She'd never see him fly. She'd never nag him about his work.

She heard rustling to her right and looked up. Several things happened at once. Horror dawned as Voldemort moved. Hermione darted to her feet and dragged Ginny up so she could stand, pulling her away. People were running down the drive from the school; Dumbledore, Snape, Flitwick, McGonagall, Remus, and others.

Voldemort's red eyes opened and he appeared disoriented. Hermione didn't know what to do. She stood there in total panic, gripping Ginny's hand much too tight as she stared at the Dark wizard, who'd regained his feet. He looked at where Harry had been and saw his body clutched by Ron. Then a smile, a disgusting, vile, cold smile spread over his lipless mouth.

"I've won," he muttered. He looked at the growing group of Order members and his grin widened. "I've won," he said louder, "and you all will die."

Hermione's heart filled with such hatred that she growled. Dumbledore would not let him win. Dumbledore would fix this, end him –

But it was not Dumbledore that moved forward. Ron set Harry gently aside and lumbered to his feet. His eyes were full of rage and despair and the warning that was on the tip of Hermione's tongue vanished with shock.

Harry's words filtered through her brain. _"He's killed everyone I love. He won't kill you."_

"You bastard," Ron said darkly.

"What are you going to do, young Weasley," Voldemort said in a parody of politeness. "And you, Mudblood?" he continued, looking right at Hermione who'd raised her wand without realizing it.

Ron roared, Hermione snarled, and at the exact same time they screamed, "_AVADA KEDAVRA!_"

Voldemort looked surprised, and it was with that look fixed on his face that he died. He flew backward with the force of the combined spells and landed in a heap of limbs and black robes. A soft groan met her ears and at first she couldn't figure out where it came from, but then she saw it – Harry was moving.


	28. Decisions, Decisions

The Hospital Wing was beginning to lighten through the eastern windows. The students were back in their dormitories, all with the exception of Harry, Ron, and Ginny. And Hermione, of course. Remus wouldn't let her out of his sight. There had never been a moment more terrifying in his life than when Hermione had charged out of the school with her two best friends to the voice of Voldemort. And he couldn't follow. He'd been trapped in the Great Hall with everyone else. But he had her now, and she was alright, and that's all that mattered.

Harry was on a cot in the middle of the ward. People surrounded his bed; McGonagall, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Ginny, Tonks, Shacklebolt, Bill, and Charlie. The last four had been found unconscious in Hogsmeade, where they'd been stationed by the Order to be protection for the school.

"Well that didn't work out well, did it?" Tonks had said wryly as she'd regained consciousness in the infirmary.

Dumbledore was at the Ministry, spreading the word and beginning the work of rebuilding Ministry structure. There were still spies and Death Eaters everywhere and they needed to be found before Voldemort's followers could start their own uprising. Snape hadn't been seen since Voldemort's death. Remus had only seen his back as they made their way to the castle and then he'd disappeared down to the dungeons. Dumbledore had told them to let the man be. Remus was quite sure that Snape was full of conflicting emotions. First, he hadn't known about Voldemort's plan for Harry, and so felt like a failure of a spy. And yet, his Dark master was dead. He was free. Remus wasn't sure how he'd feel in that position either.

Molly and Arthur had been notified about their youngest son's bravery and had come directly to Hogwarts, but Ron wasn't much in the mood for talking. Hermione had told Remus of Harry kissing Ron before taking off on his own, of how Ron seemed destroyed when Harry had appeared to die. And of Ginny's enigmatic words: "But Ron loved him."

And now Ron was at Harry's bedside and hadn't moved since carrying Harry's unconscious body up to the school himself. He only grunted in response to anyone questioning him. Hermione had to tell everyone what had happened in the village, how Harry had been cursed right away with no warning, how both he and Voldemort had collapsed, how Voldemort had reawakened, and how she and Ron had been the ones to kill him together.

Remus tightened his arms around her. They were seated on the edge of the cot next to Harry's and he had put her in his lap and held her tight, unwilling, or unable, to let her go. She was amazing. She had performed the Killing Curse on _Voldemort_. Was she _mad_? He didn't know what to think. Part of him wanted to smack her for her insanity, but another part wanted to kiss her senseless for her bravery.

She was exhausted. He could see it, sense it. But she refused to go back to their quarters until she knew Harry would be alright. He'd woken up in the village for a few moments before passing out cold, but at least he had a pulse. Madam Pomfrey had done all she could for him, but now all there was to do was wait.

"Ron, why don't you lay down for just a little bit," Molly said softly, running a hand through Ron's ginger hair.

"No," Ron replied shortly.

"We can wake you if anything happens-"

"_No_."

Molly didn't bother him again.

Harry looked dead. If it weren't for the magical heart monitor that beeped with every fragile beat of his heart, Remus would have been sure he was gone.

"He'll be fine," Hermione murmured just loud enough for only Remus to hear. "I'm sure of it."

"Why are you so sure?" he asked.

"Because God wouldn't be so unfair," she replied sadly. "He wouldn't take everything from him. Not like this."

Remus wasn't so sure. He'd seen many unfair and truly horrible things in his life. Harry's death would just be another on the list.

It wasn't for many hours until there was a change. It was midmorning and everyone in the wing was ready to collapse. Tonks, Ginny, and Charlie were asleep, unable to stay awake any longer. Molly and Arthur looked about ready to join them. McGonagall and Shacklebolt had left, each to their own jobs. Bill was seated with Ron, a silent comfort only a brother could give. It was just as Remus was on the edge of oblivion, about to fall asleep, when the monitor changed.

The slow throb of beeping began to quicken. Hermione jerked in his arms, and they both were suddenly wide awake.

"What's happening?" she asked, voice scratchy.

"His heart's beating faster," Ron said. He looked torn between joy and terror. What did this mean?

Madam Pomfrey came out of her office and swept over to Harry's side. Everyone was now awake, on their feet, and watching as the color came back to Harry's face.

"He's looking better!" Ginny cried out, practically bouncing in place.

But something wasn't quite right, Remus thought. Harry looked tense and his hands were balled into fists. He then started to shake uncontrollably before outright thrashing. Hermione stepped forward, but Remus held her back out of the way of Madam Pomfrey.

"Do something!" Ron screamed at her.

"I don't know what's wrong with him, Mr. Weasley!" Madam Pomfrey said loudly. "I don't want to do something that will make him worse!"

Ron growled and shoved her aside, ignoring his mother, who admonished him, and the matron, who tried to hold him back. Ron pushed himself to Harry's side and grabbed his hand.

"Harry, mate, come on," Ron said. "Wake up! Wake up, please!"

Harry began to groan, tossing his head side to side and kicking the blankets from his legs.

"Weasley, get away from him this instant!" Madam Pomfrey yelled, trying to pull Ron away. Unaware of what he was doing, Remus released Hermione and grabbed Madam Pomfrey's right arm as Bill grabbed her left, pulling her away from Ron.

"Let him be," Remus said.

"But he-"

"Let him hold the boy's hand, for fuck's sake," Remus growled. She looked as if he'd slapped her and he didn't much care.

"Harry, please," Ron said softly, leaning over Harry's shaking body. "I love you, you prat. You have to wake up. For me. Please, for me."

Harry's eyes shot open and he gasped, his body straight as a board and so tense that he was vibrating. "Ron?" he gasped.

"…Harry?" Ron replied.

"Ron," Harry said softly. His body relaxed, his trembling stopped, and the heart monitor slowed. "Was it… was it a dream?"

"No," Ron said. "No, it all happened. He's gone."

Harry made a noise like a hiccup and covered his face with his free hand.

"It's over?" he asked, his voice muffled.

"Yeah," Ron replied. "It's over."

Remus couldn't really say that he was surprised when Harry started to cry. Remus wanted to cry a bit himself. Madam Pomfrey, no longer struggling against them, was let go and Remus went to Hermione, who was also sobbing. He pulled her into his arms and held her as the relief was finally allowed to show itself. Arthur was holding onto Molly, Tonks was using Charlie's shirt as a handkerchief, Bill surreptitiously wiped his eyes with his thumb, and Ginny was hugging herself tight and looking at her brother and Harry. Madam Pomfrey left for her office in a huff, telling no one in particular that she'd check on Harry later, when she wouldn't be restrained.

"You're a prat," Ron said to Harry, who was still crying into his hand. "A great, idiotic prat. You didn't even defend yourself!"

"I know," Harry replied dejectedly.

"I thought you were dead!" Ron said angrily.

"I _was_ dead," Harry said.

"What?"

"I was dead. In some weird limbo and everything."

"Wait," Tonks said quickly, stepping forward. "What d'you mean?"

Harry dropped his hand. His eyes and nose were red, his cheeks were wet with tears and, Remus assumed, snot from his running nose.

"I remember being cursed," he said. "And then… I don't know. Suddenly I was… seeing things. Memories, I'm sure."

"Memories of what?" Hermione asked curiously.

"My life," Harry replied in wonder, his eyes seeing something they couldn't. "I was a baby and playing with my dad, I was eleven and Hagrid gave me my Hogwarts letter, I was riding a broom for the first time. All these really great memories. I felt all the good feelings I felt when they were happening to me. And then there were thousands of…"

Harry trailed off and looked away.

"Of what?" Ron asked.

"It… it doesn't matter," Harry said, refusing to meet his eyes. "But it suddenly ended and I just hurt, like…like I was burning or something. I'm guessing that's when I came back."

"You're not telling us something," Ron said lowly. "You can tell me anything."

"Do you want us to leave, Harry?" Remus asked gently. "Do you want to talk to Ron in private?"

Harry looked at him suddenly, then his eyes trailed to everyone in the room. Some, like Tonks and Charlie looked at the ceiling and tried to look innocent. But Hermione, Ginny, Remus and Molly just looked back at him curiously.

"You all know, don't you?" Harry said. "You know I… kissed Ron."

"And told him you loved him," Ginny said helpfully.

Harry groaned, flinging his arm over his eyes. But his other hand still held Ron's.

"Fuck it," he said desolately. "Fine. Everyone knows anyway." He kept his arm over his face and said, "I've been in love with Ron practically since I met him. I didn't know it until Christmas, when we were stuck under the enchanted mistletoe and had to kiss in order to be released. I hated myself for it. I couldn't tell him, or anyone except Hermione. And Remus, but I didn't know he was listening." Remus smirked down at Hermione and she grinned back. "When I thought I was going to die, before I went to the village, I couldn't bear the thought of Ron going too. But I also couldn't bear the thought of never telling him how I felt. So I did. And when I died…"

He groaned and tried to pull his hand from Ron's, but Ron wouldn't let him.

"I saw every good memory of my life," Harry continued, his voice hitching. "My parents, Hogwarts, Hermione, and… and Ron. Thousands of little things, random memories." Harry then looked right at Ron and Remus felt like a git, like he was intruding on something private, but he couldn't leave. He was as engrossed as everyone else. Harry seemed oblivious now to everyone but Ron. "Your smile, your laugh. Your pigheadedness. All of it. And then I was back, and you were holding me. I wondered if maybe I'd really died and gone on to heaven, or my personal hell. Because all I've wanted for years was for you to hold me as you were then."

Remus's eyes felt hot and he blinked hard. Hermione was sobbing again into his chest, only now she was silent, unwilling to interrupt her friend.

"Harry," Ron said gently. "You really are a prat. A selfish, blind, stupid, wonderful prat."

He then hauled a startled Harry up and kissed him. Remus looked away then, it was only right. He closed his eyes and lowered his face to Hermione's hair. He was relieved. He'd worried for Harry, but now he knew that Harry was in good hands. The tender scene also wrenched something in his heart. If a closeted teenager could finally admit his feelings, why was it that Remus felt that he still couldn't?

* * *

Hermione refused to leave the Hospital Wing until Harry was cleared. Absolutely refused. Unless, of course, Ron asked for a private moment with his boyfriend.

_Boyfriend_, God. It had really happened. Hermione had never thought that Ron would be gay. And as much as she had wished the world for Harry, she'd been positive that he'd never get the man he really wanted – Ron. But, lo and behold, Hermione had been wrong.

It was the day following the defeat of Voldemort and the infirmary only held Harry, Ron, Hermione and Remus, who wouldn't leave her side. When she'd told him that she wouldn't leave, he'd calmly explained that if she was going to stay, then by Merlin so was he. So they'd expanded one of the cots (as far from Harry's and Ron's as possible) and set up camp.

Remus was teaching his classes. Hermione and Ron were exempt from everything at the moment and Hermione was grateful. She wasn't harmed from using the Killing Curse, but it left something on her. An imprint that she'd used very Dark magic. It made her feel heavy inside.

She was sitting with Ron on Harry's bed. Harry was asleep again. His body was still recuperating from being dead for a few minutes.

"Ron," she said finally.

"Yeah?" he replied, looking away from Harry's face.

"When did you come to realize your feelings for Harry?"

"Well… About the same time he did, actually," Ron said. "I think… I think I've always loved him."

"Then why were you so angry when I married Remus?"

"Ah." Ron blushed a bit, gave her an apologetic look, and said, "Actually, I think I thought of you as like… mine but not in the right way. I always figured we'd get married. It was like… supposed to be that way. I guess you were safe, and it only made sense that we'd end up together. It never occurred to me that I didn't like girls. I'd never really thought about it. We were always doing too much to really sit down and think about it."

"That's true," Hermione said. "Being Harry Potter's friends put us in considerably more danger than everyone else."

"Exactly. And when you were taken from my cozy future, it made me mad. I thought I was jealous, but that wasn't it. Then I thought about it and realized that I never thought of you that way, which confused me. Then the mistletoe…" His eyes glazed over and Hermione prudently began to play idly with Harry's blanket. "It wasn't a very intense kiss, or anything, but something clicked and I realized that I was gay."

"So that's why you were in such a good mood?"

"Well not a first. I kind of panicked at first, but then I wrote to my parents and explained what happened. I was terrified of what they'd say. But they wrote quickly back, said they loved me anyway and that it didn't matter. They're really open-minded about that stuff, which is cool. Turns out Bill's bent, too."

"What?" Hermione exclaimed. "What about Fleur?"

"He really _was_ just helping her improve her English," Ron said wryly.

"Huh." That was all Hermione could think of to say.

"When I told them I'd fallen for Harry, they were thrilled of course," Ron continued. "It never occurred to them he might not be gay."

Hermione laughed quietly. "That's cute."

"Yeah, they were wonderful," Ron said, looking back at Harry. "I can't believe it took us so long to just say it…"

"Fear of rejection is a great way to never get anything done," Hermione replied. "I know."

"You?" Ron said in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Hermione's words got stuck in her throat, but she managed to say, with difficulty, "I'm in love with my husband."

Ron looked perplexed. "And this is bad because…?"

"Oh Ron, I can't tell him that!"

"Why the bloody hell not? You're his soul mate, aren't you?"

"Well, yes, but that and 'love' are two very different things," she said. "Just because your soul finds its mate, doesn't mean that you're in love with that person."

Ron scratched the back of his head, still appearing confused. "I don't get it."

Hermione sighed. "I'm not sure I do, either. But what if I say it, and he thinks I'm crazy?"

"Hermione, the man's mad for you. We all see it. Why can't you?"

"I know he likes me well enough–"

"No, Hermione, that isn't it." Now Ron looked irritated and Hermione felt stupid for saying anything. "He's… I don't know. All I know is that sometimes when he looks at you… it's more."

"More than what?"

"I don't know! Just…more. And why would he stay in here with you when he has a perfectly nice set of rooms? Especially since you'd have been here, he could have had them all to himself. Now he's sharing a squeaky cot with scratchy sheets with you, here, instead. If that's not love, I don't know what is."

Hermione snorted and said no more on the subject, but inside she was still worried. She'd made a promise to herself as she'd chased after Ron and Harry down to Hogsmead. She'd promised to tell Remus the very next time she saw him that she loved him. But that time had come and gone and she'd been silent.

_Next time_, she thought.

* * *

In the weeks following the death of Voldemort, Hermione rarely had a moment's peace. Harry recovered fully and he and Ron were never seen without each other. In classes the other students would stare, at meals everyone would try to talk to her. When it became public that it had been her and Ron who had killed Voldemort, she pretty much kissed good-bye to any sort of privacy.

The _Prophet_ somehow got a hold of the story and then it just got stupid. She received mail from hundreds of strangers in that first week alone, all of it thanks and wishes for her eternal good health.

The Ministry rooted out the spies amongst its employees and was slowly rebuilding back to the way it was, with a few improvements in the system. Many people had been sent to Azkaban, though Severus Snape had been cleared of all charges. In classes now he was virtually silent. The instructions were written on the board each class, the students created the potions and turned them in, and he graded them. He didn't take away points, but he didn't give them out either. It made the students even more nervous than his cruelty had.

It was three weeks later when Hermione's world careened onto its side. Lunch was the only meal she took in the Great Hall. Breakfast and dinner she ate with Remus in their rooms, usually with Ron and Harry joining them in the evenings with Dumbldore's approval. Their celebrity was just too much for them to eat in peace anymore.

She was seated by Harry and was pleasantly surprised that they weren't receiving as much attention as usual. She should have known better.

People were grouped around newspapers all over the hall. Hermione, thinking it was more news about Voldemort's death, ignored her surroundings and continued to eat. She saw Lavender rushing in through the doors and heading right to her, and she wondered how quickly she could get up and leave without it being rude. But Lavender was quick and Hermione decided that it would just be for the best to see what she wanted.

"Did you hear?" Lavender squealed, plopping down on the other side of the table from them and dropping her _Prophet_ in front of Hermione.

"Hear what?" Harry asked.

"They've repealed the Marriage Law!"

"Oh," Hermione said in mild interest. "That's good, I suppose. But all the ones that have taken place are permanent."

"No they're not!"

Hermione, Ron, and Harry all looked up at her at the same time.

"What?" Hermione said.

"Teenagers have the option of nulling the marriage," Lavender said, obviously pleased that she was the first to break the news to the Golden Trio. "If one or both of the pair is a teen, they can go through a process to get un-married. I heard it's kind of painful, but loads of people are signing up for it."

Hermione looked away from Lavender and found the familiar form of her husband sitting at the Head table. He was poring over his own _Prophet_. She couldn't read his expression. Was he relieved? Or was his heart pounding with unease, just as hers was?

She still hadn't told him she loved him. Was it too late? Would it be for the best if she said nothing, got the annulment, and lived without him? But they were mates. They were werewolves. Would she be able to handle the full moon without him? What should she _do_? He looked up then and saw her staring at him. He gave a short jerk of his head toward the doors, signaling that he wanted to speak with her. She nodded and stood, her heart in her throat.

"I'll see you guys later," she said to Harry and Ron.

"Alright, Hermione," Ron said, giving her a speaking glance.

She ignored him and left the hall, falling into step with her husband. His face was totally unreadable, completely blank. He opened a door to an abandoned classroom and followed her inside. He closed it behind him and then there was silence. What should she say? There hadn't been this much tension between them since the early days of their marriage. She couldn't even look at him and she wasn't quite sure why.

"I read about the possibility of annulment," Remus said finally.

"Yes, I did too," she replied, staring down at her own hands.

"I… If you desire it, we can do it," he said.

Her heart broke. He didn't want to be married to her anymore. Yes, they liked each other. Yes, they were very close friends. But marriage should be about love, and he obviously didn't love her if he offered her a way out.

"Is that…what you want?" she asked in a cracked voice. She mentally cursed herself for her transparency.

"It's up to you, Hermione," he said.

"No, this is both of us," she said. Anger was quickly replacing any other feeling. "We're both in this. Together. So we, together, need to decide what we want."

"What I want, Hermione, is to _not_ get an annulment," Remus snapped. She looked up. He appeared furious. She didn't understand what that meant. "I _like_ being married to you. I _like_ you. We're soul mates and forever our souls will crave closeness so even if we do separate legally, we're going to need to be around each other. And I'd do it. I'd get the damned annulment if you want it, because this whole situation has been ridiculously unfair to you."

She stared at him in shock. He wanted to stay with her? He'd rather be married to her than not? Oh, what did it mean? Why must she be so afraid? Why couldn't she just shout her feelings at the top of her lungs? But she didn't. She just continued to stare at him for many moments until he looked uncomfortable before finding her voice.

"What if…what if I don't want the annulment either?" she asked hesitantly. His face softened and he moved closer until he was standing before her.

"Are you sure?" he asked in a whisper, taking her hands.

"Yes," she said in relief. "Yes, I'm sure."

_I love you. I love you so much it's making me crazy. If we were no longer married, I think I'd literally go mad. I want to go to sleep and wake up beside you every night and day for the rest of my life. I want to see your face every day, I want to fight for the covers with you, I want to laugh with you, cry with you, sleep with you, forever._

"Then I'm sure, too," he replied warmly. "I do like you. Very much."

She could tell him now. She could say the words that flowed so easily in her mind.

"I like you very much too."

Merlin, she was a coward.

"Come on, we're going to be late for classes," Remus said, still holding her hand as they walked back out into the corridor. It was really embarrassing how that one little thing, handholding, could make her heart flutter madly even after a year of marriage.


	29. Declarations

_She was a wolf, luxuriating in the strength, the speed, of the body she in habited. The moon was bright in the black sky, sending silver light over the grass in front of Hogwarts. The air was just cold enough to feel invigoratingly sharp in her lungs every time she took a breath. Running across the front lawn, her mate at her side, she felt free._

_They tackled each other, raced each other, snuggled each other, all through the night. Nothing could compare to being with her mate. They splashed in the lake, churning up the mud from the bottom near the banks. Her mate playfully nipped her ear and then charged out onto the muddy beach, waiting for her. She yipped at him and made to follow, but she didn't see the sharp rock just under the surface of the water._

_She cried out in pain as it slashed her shoulder. Her mate changed, becoming the mate of her other self. His human body cut through the water and within moments he was at her side. She shifted, her fur becoming skin and her paws becoming hands and feet. Once human, she looked at her shoulder in dismay._

"_I'm bleeding," she said with irritation._

_Remus reached up and touched the line of red that flowed down the front of her chest from the wound. His tawny eyes were sad when they caught hers._

"_It's in the blood," he said._

"_What's in the blood?" she asked, just as she had asked every time she had this dream. _

"_It's in the blood," he repeated, a little more firmly._

"_I don't understand," she whispered._

_He shook his head, looking disappointed in her. She cringed in embarrassment, but he stepped forward and made her look at him. His face was almost pleading._

"_It's in the blood, not the body," he said, cupping her face in his large, warm hands. He leaned forward and just as his lips touched her forehead, she understood._

Hermione jerked awake, sitting straight up in bed, her heart hammering. Remus slept soundly at her side, even when his arm dropped to her lap.

"The blood," she gasped. _Of course!_

She extricated herself as smoothly as possible from Remus's light embrace and left the bed. The clock on the bedside table announced that it was nearly six in the morning. That should be perfect. She didn't bother to change her clothes and pulled on her boots. Grabbing her wand, she left the apartment and hurried down the deserted hallways.

She could hear the sounds of the castle slowly waking up, but did not encounter anyone else as she practically ran down the stairs and through the corridors. Sunlight was just barely beginning to shine through the open windows. The night torches hadn't even gone out.

_Please be awake_, she mentally pleaded as she dashed down even more steps. The air grew colder as she left the upper floors and descended to the dungeons. Wishing she'd put on a cloak, or even a robe, she scurried along and rounded the last corner. The air the left her mouth misted as she exhaled.

Sliding to a stop, she raised her hand and knocked on the wooden door in front of her.

Waiting impatiently, she listened for movement from within. There was none. She was about to try again when the door was abruptly wrenched open from the inside and the object of her pursuit stood with one hand on the door, and the other on the doorframe. He must have only just woken up, as he was wearing dark trousers and a white shirt, no shoes and no billowing robe. It startled Hermione how he suddenly looked almost human. He glowered down at her in all his greasy, unpleasant glory and raised an eyebrow.

"Someone had better be dead, Miss Granger," Snape growled.

Biting back the urge to correct her name (she'd been Mrs. Lupin for a year now), instead she stood a little taller and said, "Sir, I think I know a way to cure lycanthropy."

His black eyes widened in shock and his hands fell to his sides. He straightened up, looked at her warily, and stepped aside.

"Come in."

* * *

Remus wasn't too worried when he awoke to find himself alone. Searching through their bond, he felt that Hermione was feeling slight anxiety, but mostly excitement. He smiled. Obviously something had happened, most likely to do with her two best friends. She'd tell him soon enough.

He relaxed back into bed, glad that it was a Saturday. For once, all of his classes were caught up and graded. He had an entire weekend ahead of him where he had no responsibilities. He could simply do whatever he wanted. Thinking that he'd start his weekend of leisure with a soak in the tub, he hummed as he rolled out of bed and made his way to the bathroom.

The portrait in the living room groaned as it was swung open. Remus grinned. Maybe he'd invite his wife to join him for some relaxation in the bath.

"Remus?" she called out.

He changed direction and headed to the bedroom door. "Yes?" he said warmly, his voice scratchy from sleep. He came to a halt, however, when Hermione was standing next to Severus Snape. Hermione was still in her pajamas and Snape wasn't fully dressed either. Without his teaching robes, the man looked smaller than usual.

"Remus!" Hermione said, her face lit up with excitement. "Remus, we think we might have figured out how to cure lycanthropy!"

For a moment, Remus felt nothing. He heard nothing. Sound winked out and he simply stood there staring at her dumbly. Moments passed.

_A cure?_

The thought rang hollowly through his head. Only when she took a step closer, looking at him in alarm, did sound rush back into his ears. All the breath left his lungs in a whoosh and his legs felt suddenly weak. He raised a hand to the wall to steady himself.

"What?" he whispered.

Hermione opened her mouth, but Snape answered first. "Your wife came to me at the ungodly hour of six this morning with… quite a remarkable idea."

Hermione beamed, clasping her hands in front of her and practically bouncing in place. Remus shoved himself further into the room and rounded the sofa, barely making it in time when his legs gave out. Shock was still prevalent among his emotions, but a small spark of hope wound itself around his heart. Snape wouldn't be here if he didn't think that Hermione's idea didn't have merit.

"I think we'd better explain," Hermione said, taking a seat at his side.

Snape took a seat without invitation. "Go right ahead. It was your idea, after all."

Hermione sent him a beaming smile of thanks, even though Snape spoke in obvious sarcasm, before turning to Remus and taking his hand. He looked at her curiously.

"I've been having dreams now for quite some time," she started. Snape groaned and sat back in the chair, closing his eyes in apparent boredom. Hermione decided to ignore him. "I never understood what they meant, until last night. I'll paraphrase, but in the dreams we are wolves, then we're human and somehow it always comes around to you telling me 'it's in the blood'."

"It's in the blood?" he repeated, confused.

"Yes. Now, I had no idea what you were talking about. I'd ask, but you'd just repeat it. It all became very vexing. It wasn't until last night that you said more."

Snape raised his head and gazed between Hermione and Remus with barely-suppressed irritation.

"What did I say?" Remus asked.

"You said, 'It's in the blood, not the body'."

She paused. Remus quirked an eyebrow.

"Okay…" he said, lost.

"Remus, lycanthropy is a disease of the blood," she said, her excitement growing. "Through the blood, it attacks the body with magic of a full moon, causing the change. This hasn't occurred to anyone searching for a cure yet! All research toward a cure has been focused on the body!"

"So… you think you know how to cure the blood?" he asked.

"No," interrupted Snape. "There is no way to remove the virus from the bloodstream, as it has mutated it. But, it has not mutated any internal organs, not even the heart."

"You're sure?" Remus said.

"Positive," Snape replied. "I've been researching this for a long time, Lupin."

"So then I came to a realization," Hermione continued. "What would happen if all the blood was removed from the body?"

"You'd die," Remus said with a frown.

"Maybe, maybe not," she said, looking at Snape.

"We believe that if the body were put in some sort of stasis as the blood was removed, it would not shut down," he said. "Perhaps if it was Petrified, or Stunned, or if the person in question were to drink the Draught of the Living Death, that perhaps they'd be fine until new blood replaced the old, infected blood."

"And then that person would no longer have blood tainted by a virus within them, and they'd be normal," Hermione finished with a triumphant smile.

Remus was silent. It sounded… miraculous, but there was so much room for error. What if they were wrong? What if someone were to die as their blood was fully extracted?

"I've decided to test it," Hermione said. Remus's focus sharpened.

"What?" he demanded. Hermione was unruffled by his tone.

"I'm going to test it," she said firmly. "I think it'll be fine. I believe the best bet it the Draught of the Living Death, which Professor Snape has agreed to make, along with the antidote."

"No," Remus said softly.

"Excuse me?" she said, her eyes narrowing to slits.

"I said no," he replied evenly. "If you want to test this, do it on me."

"Why?"

"Because," he said, reaching up to touch her soft cheek. "You're so young. If it doesn't work… You're the brightest witch of the age. No, I won't allow it."

"I'm old enough to make my own decisions!"

"And I care for you too much to let you end your own life," he said.

She went still, gazing at him incredulously. He might have given too much of himself away. He might have just put his heart out there for her to take, or step on, whichever she chose. He waited, wondering what she would do.

But Snape ruined the moment.

"I don't care who ends up doing it," he said sharply, causing the couple on the couch to jolt. "I'm going to make the potion, as I agree with Miss Granger. I think it's the best option. It'll be ready, along with the antidote, by this weekend."

With that, he swept to his feet and left the room through the portrait. It was decidedly less dramatic without his robes. Remus turned back to Hermione, but she shoved herself to her feet and left the room, heading toward the bedroom, leaving him alone when all he wanted was for her to talk to him.

They didn't speak for the rest of the day. She left their quarters, no doubt to be with Harry and Ron, and didn't return until curfew. He spent the whole day alone, trying to think of something, anything but what she and Snape had told him that morning.

He was excited. He was terrified. What if it worked? What if it didn't? Either way… he'd be free in some way. One, he'd live the rest of his life with no fear of the moon. He could live with Hermione like any normal man. And Hermione… Hermione could have children.

But if it didn't work, and he died… well. He'd still be free of the curse.

But what about Hermione? What would she do? Would she miss him? Would she continue to research it? Would she still try it herself and end up like him?

He was already in bed when she returned. He looked up from the book that he couldn't focus on and watched her as she ignored him completely. She disappeared into the bathroom, where he could hear the sounds of the faucet and of her brushing her teeth. She reappeared only to vanish into the closet. Drawers slammed, hangers banged against the walls. Then she was back, now garbed in her pajamas.

She didn't look at him as she slid into bed and turned onto her side with her back to him. He sighed. Setting the book aside and waving his wand to dim the room, he settled back into bed and stared at the ceiling.

Obviously she was unhappy that he wouldn't let her be the one to be experimented on, but he would not allow her to do that to herself. She was too important to the Wizarding world. A mind like hers needed to stay. Who knew what great things she was meant to achieve? He looked over at her and nearly smiled.

Her back was tense. She was so determined. He sighed and rolled closer to her, sliding one arm around her waist from behind.

"I want it to be me," she said.

"No."

"Remus," she sighed.

"No."

"That's not fair."

"I don't care."

He pulled her closer and she didn't fight it. He settled his chin on her shoulder, breathing in her sweet scent.

"Why do you care?" she asked finally.

"Because," he replied softly. "You're too smart, too bright, to just throw it away."

"It will work," she said stubbornly.

"It _might_ work. But there is a possibility that it won't."

"I don't want you to die," she whispered, grabbing the hand he had on her stomach.

"I don't want you to die either," he replied. "The reality is that I _am_ older than you. If I were to die in a week, I'd be ready for it. Can you say the same?"

She began to shudder in his arms and he knew she was crying, though she didn't make a sound.

"Why are you crying?" he asked, turning his face into her neck.

"I… I don't want you to die," she said again, her voice tight and holding his hand tighter. "I… you… I care for you, like you do for me."

He went still, fear and anticipation roiling together in his gut. "Like I do for you? Exactly?"

"Yes," she replied.

"Do you know how much that is?"

She shuddered harder and he held her tighter. Impatience, excitement, terror, joy… so many things to feel at once. His head was spinning and his heart was throbbing, but he remained silent, waiting for her to speak. Finally she rolled over and looked at him.

The moonlight caught the wetness on her cheeks from her tears, turning them silver. Her eyes were almost black in the darkness. Even looking miserable, she was the most beautiful thing in his life. She raised her hand to his face, touching his scars and smooth skin alike.

And then she spoke.

"I love you."

Elation exploded through his entire being. His toes curled, his heart sang, and his hand gripped her back tightly. He pulled her to him and he saw surprise in her face before he pressed his mouth firmly to hers.

"Oh gods," he said against her mouth, clutching her to him. "I've wanted to hear you say that for so long."

She pulled back, eyes wide. "Really?"

"Yes, Merlin yes," he said. She grinned, hugging him tight. "I love you too, you know." It was barely more than a whisper, but she heard.

"I've wanted to tell you," she said, pressing her forehead to his.

"I'm glad you did," he replied with a grin. "I'm still not letting you through the lycanthropy curing process first."

_Author's Note: Sorry this took so long! I've been writing for a fest! Now I can focus back on this, and finish it! Once again, sorry for the wait. I hope you enjoyed!_


	30. A Game of Time

Hermione had to literally bite her lips shut to keep herself from begging Remus not to go through with the curing process. They were in Snape's private study in the dungeons. A table had been set up in the dreary room especially for the occasion. The Draught of the Living Death was simmering nearby, the antidote at the ready. The bottle of Blood Replenishing potion was settled on a small table.

All was ready.

Snape was poring over his notes one last time, Dumbledore at his side. The two had been researching tirelessly for the last week, making sure they had all their i's dotted and t's crossed. Hermione had been endlessly relieved when Dumbledore had offered his own services to their project. He was the smartest wizard in existence. Surely if he believed it would work, then all would prove successful?

Remus was casually laid out on the table, looking as though he did this every weekend. He had stripped down to his pants since they planned on removing blood from several sources to speed the process up. Hermione couldn't believe how calm he appeared. He must certainly be a wreck inside. They were either about to make history, or Hermione was going to lose her husband. Her love.

Only a few people knew of what was about to transpire. Harry, Ron and Ginny all knew but had been banned from the proceedings. They expected a report from Hermione immediately afterward, no matter what the verdict. She knew that at that very moment they were waiting impatiently in Gryffindor Tower. It was late, much past curfew, but they had sworn to stay awake until she contacted them.

"I think," Dumbledore said slowly, "that we are ready to begin."

Hermione took a deep breath and quickly looked at Remus. He was pale, but nodded to Snape. Hermione fidgeted as Snape ladled a dose of the Draught into a goblet. He went to Remus's side and handed it to him.

"Wait!" Hermione gasped. Three pairs of eyes suddenly focused on her. "Just… one moment. Please?"

Snape huffed and was obviously about give a scathing reply but Dumbledore cut him off. "Severus," he said brightly. "I do believe there a few books here I have not yet seen. Do be a good lad and show me around."

Dumbledore steered a growling Snape across the study and soon their backs were to Hermione and Remus. She would have smiled, but she was too frightened.

"Hermione," Remus murmured. "It will be fine."

She approached his side and took his free hand. "Of course it will," she said briskly. "I just… I wanted to tell you one last time that I love you. I love you… so much."

Remus smiled and pulled her closer. "I love you too." He then kissed her tenderly before leaning back. It was not nearly enough for Hermione, but it would have to do. Snape and Dumbledore were already coming back.

"Alright then," Dumbledore said. "Whenever you're ready, Remus."

Remus looked only at her as he raised the goblet and drank it down swiftly. Hermione bit back a sob when he went completely limp, the goblet crashing to the floor. He suddenly looked very much dead. The golden glow was gone from his body and his eyes were blank, staring right through her. Dumbledore went to his side and closed Remus's eyes.

"Severus, the tubes," Dumbledore said softly.

Hermione looked away when they began to stick him with needles attached to tubes. She just couldn't watch that. Seeing him appear to die was hard enough. She listened to the movement behind her with raising fear. They did not speak as they worked. All she could think were variations of, _"What if it fails?"_

She turned back around when she thought they'd been silent for too long. She wished she hadn't. They were standing still and watching as Remus's blood was sucked from his body. Several tubes were red with blood, attached to his neck, chest, arms, legs, and feet. It was horrifying. She couldn't help it when she sobbed. Dumbledore looked up and his eyes filled with pity. He came to her side and was a silent comfort as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

The process was surprisingly short. The tubes began to stutter and turn clear. Remus, it seemed, had no blood left. Snape swooped around the pale body on the table. He quickly removed the bags of tainted blood and cast a purification spell on the tubes. Dumbledore helped attached new bags full of donated blood that matched Remus's type. They moved so fast that Hermione almost expected one or the other to falter but they were smooth. Within seconds they had the bags changed and the reverse process began. Blood pumped back through to the tubes, this time into Remus's body.

Dumbledore ran a diagnostic spell. Symbols blinked into life above Remus's chest along with a line that showed Remus's heart movement. At the moment, it was still. This was to be expected, Hermione knew. The Draught of the Living Death made the drinker appear dead, while really just in a state of hibernation. The tubes continued to pump blood back into Remus's body until they ran clear, meaning his body had all the blood it could hold.

Snape took the dose of antidote and poured it into Remus's lax mouth. None spilled. They waited, watching the monitor closely. As more time passed, Hermione's panic grew.

"Professor?" she said weakly. "Shouldn't there be a change by now?"

Neither Snape, nor Dumbledore, responded. Hermione began to shake. No… It had to work. Her eyes began to water.

There still was no heartbeat.

Snape began to slowly remove the needles. Dumbledore didn't move at all. All the while, Remus laid there, pale and wan.

"Pr-professor?" she sobbed.

Dumbledore finally looked at her, deep sadness in his eyes. "Hermione… I'm sorry."

"No," she gasped, unbelieving.

"Hermione-"

"No!"

He walked up to her and took her into his arms when she began to cry in earnest. It was a failure. Her brilliant idea not only didn't work, but it killed Remus. Pure despair poured over her body as though a tidal wave had hit her at full force. She had killed her husband. She had killed the man she loved.

Flashes of the life they could have had, were supposed to have had, flashed before her eyes so quickly that she could barely understand what she was seeing. A home in the country, sun-washed lazing mornings in bed, screaming and giggling children, a shaggy dog asleep in their front yard with his paws in the air, Christmases, birthdays, dinners, parties…. All gone.

"It was supposed to work," she cried.

"I know," Dumbledore said weakly.

"This can't be happening! He was supposed to be fine! He swore he would be!"

Dumbledore held her tighter when her legs began to shake with her sobs. She had to tell Harry. But how? How could she possibly explain to her best friend that his honorary godfather had died? That she had killed him?

_Oh God._

"I have to go tell Ha-"

_Beep._

Hermione went rigid in Dumbledore's arms, straining to listen.

_Beep_.

Dumbledore released her and she launched herself to Remus's side, staring at the diagnostic symbols. The heart monitor had to two little dips.

_Beep_.

And a third.

"Oh, my God," Hermione gasped.

_Beep. Beep. _

Remus's face was gaining its color slowly. His finger twitched, and then his toe. Snape and Dumbledore stood opposite of her and the three of them watched as Remus came back to life, finally opening his eyes in confusion. Hermione sobbed and pressed her face to his neck.

"Did it work?" Remus asked.

"You're not dead," Snape replied shortly. Hermione couldn't help her slightly crazed laughter.

She lifted her head and looked into her husband's bright eyes, so full of life, and her heart seemed to swell. She hadn't killed him. He touched her face gently with his fingertips, his face full of love. She blushed.

"Alright, Hermione," Dumbledore said cheerfully. "Would you like to go next?"

* * *

The waiting was interminable. The next full moon was days away, but time moved like molasses, drudging by so slowly that Hermione felt like she was going mad. They still drank the Wolfsbane every morning, just in case. Wolfsbane is harmless to humans and was best to be prepared just in case her brilliant plan was not quite so brilliant.

They didn't speak of the upcoming full moon. She wasn't sure what she could have said. They continued their lives as though nothing had changed, as if nothing significant might be about to take place. Remus taught his classes, Hermione did her schoolwork. They slept, they ate, they spent time with Harry, Ron and Ginny. They made love, and if it was a little more tender and they held each other longer afterward, it was their time to do so.

Hermione's dreams were no longer about wolves or blood or destiny. They ranged from her old nightmares about failing every class to opaque visions of country houses and gardens.

But pretending as though nothing were wrong was weighing heavily on her. She couldn't help but think that she might have managed to think of a way to change the lives of hundreds of people. She might have saved them from the horrible unfairness that faced all werewolves. But more importantly, to her at least, she might have changed Remus's life for the better. He had been a werewolf for so long, that he didn't even remember what it was like to be a normal human. He lived in fear of one night a month were he was not himself, where he was a monster. She might have changed that for him and it was that thought that filled her both with elation and an irrational amount of fear.

The night before the full moon, Hermione and Remus laid in bed facing each other in silence. The curtains hiding the windows had been pulled back and the nearly-full moon shone brightly into their room.

Remus was tense. She could see it in the taught lines of the muscles in his arm and shoulder. His eyes were haunted by fear and anticipation of the following night. But his hand held hers gently and his thumb was soft as it caressed her fingers.

She half expected them to speak, to finally talk about what was before them, but they never did. They simply held hands and remained silent until uneasy and anxious sleep crept up on them.

* * *

"So," Ron said conversationally as he, Harry, and Hermione meandered around the mostly empty Hogwarts grounds. "Tonight's the night, eh?"

The skies were a dull grey and everything looked muted. Most of the students were inside the castle, working on homework or playing games. No one knew that her life might just be about to change.

"Yes, Ronald," Hermione replied with a tense sigh.

"We're just as nervous as you, Hermione," Ron said sullenly.

Hermione stopped in her tracks and whirled around on her friend, fire in her eyes. "You're nervous? You're just as nervous as I am? Whatever for? It's not like _you_ have to change into a monster every month! _You_ don't have the hope of hundreds of people riding on your shoulders for a cure! _You_ have no idea what's even going on, so what have you to be nervous about?"

Harry and Ron, standing side by side and surreptitiously holding hands, looked at her wide-eyed. Neither moved, nor spoke, until she huffed out a breath, turned on her heel, and marched away.

"Hermione! Wait!"

Hermione didn't slow for Harry's call. She kept right on forward. What did those boys know? How could they possibly understand? They couldn't, obviously.

"Hermione, please wait," Harry called, hurrying up behind her.

"Go away, Harry," she snapped. "I'm so tired of people trying to commiserate, to tell me that it'll all work out and that everything will be fine, that they're there for me."

"But we _are_ here for you," Harry replied.

"Well bully for you."

"Stop it," Harry said sharply, grabbing her arm and hauling her around. "Just stop and shut it for a second, alright?" Her mouth dropped open in shock and no sound came out. Harry took that as a sign that she was listening. "We're your friends. We are here for you, no matter what happens. If it all fails and goes up in smoke, we'll be there. If suddenly you and Remus are cured, we'll be there. If you rob a bank or kill someone, we'll help you bury the body and be there. That's our point. Now calm down, get a grip, have a butterbeer, and relax."

She sagged a little and his arms came up to support her. Leaning wearily against his chest, she tried to hold in the tears that were starting to brim in her eyes. She was just so scared, so anxious. There was another presence behind her and then there was Ron, holding her as well.

"It's probably wishful thinking," she whispered. "But all those extra senses, all those urges that I had as a werewolf, I'm not noticing them as much anymore. It could be that I'm just used to them now… but maybe…"

"Maybe your brilliant plan worked?" Ron said.

She sighed again. "I'm almost afraid to think it."

"Don't be, Hermione," Harry said softly, squeezing her hard. "That's what hope is for."

"But what if-"

"I know. I know, I know. Don't think about that right now. Somehow, we'll get through it. I'll make you."

Hermione grinned. She may want to strangle them sometimes, but she was still grateful that she had two of the best men in the world as her best friends.

* * *

The Forbidden Forest was oddly quiet. It was almost as if it were waiting, just as she and Remus were.

The perimeter wards were up. Their guard was there, four people at each corner. Hermione and Remus had shed their clothes and were standing in the middle of their space, totally comfortable in their nudity by now. They held hands and stared at the horizon.

"I can't feel it," Remus said suddenly. His voice was hushed.

"Feel what?"

"The call of the moon," he murmured. "I can't feel when it's going to rise."

Nor could she. Not wanting to jinx it, she hadn't said anything. But there was no pull, so sense of awful tenseness. She had no idea how long they had until the moon would appear.

"I don't know what it means," she said in warbly voice. "It could mean it's been fixed, but…"

"Or it could mean that it's only been dormant," he replied. "I know, I've thought about it too. All we can do is wait."

Wait. She was tired of waiting. She wanted the bloody moon to bloody rise so that she could bloody know what the bloody hell –

Through the trees she could see it. A sliver, a tiny, almost-impossible to see white sliver was visible. As she watched, it grew. There was no mistaking what it was, even to her human senses. It was the moon.

It was the moon and she was not changing.

She choked out a breath and looked quickly at Remus. He was staring at that small white expanse with no expression. For many moments he was still, his hand slack in hers. And then he started to gasp in breaths. He fell to the ground, still holder her hand and taking her with him, and struggled for air. All the while he stared at the moon.

Kneeling, Hermione looked back at the moon, now almost halfway over the horizon, and simply stared. She'd done it. Her triumph was muted under a towering sense of relief.

She'd done it.

There were cheers from Tonks, Charlie, Shacklebolt, and Bill, their guard. The wards came down and the four of them swooped in to hug and squeeze Hermione and Remus, all of them disregarding the nudity. Through it all Remus stared at the moon with apparent shock on his face. His face, which only a year ago had been lined and full of fatigue. Now he looked younger, happier. And Hermione could safely say it was all her doing.

Shoving a sobbing Tonks off of herself, she grabbed Remus and pulled him into a hug. He squeezed her so hard that she could barely breathe, but she didn't care. He pulled back and started to kiss her face; her cheeks, nose, eyes, mouth. Laughing, she held him even tighter.

"You're amazing," he said, pecking her cheek. "Brilliant." The other cheek. "Incredible." Her chin. "Wonderful." Her nose. He then pressed his forehead to hers and looked warmly into her eyes. "And all mine," he whispered just loud enough for her to hear. He then kissed her mouth in front of their friends while naked under the full moon in the Forbidden Forest. Normally, this would have made her very uncomfortable but at the moment all she could feel was elation and love.

Charlie was talking about throwing the biggest party since the death of Voldemort back at the castle, but Hermione ignored him as he and the others started trudging away from them. All she cared about doing at the moment was hold her husband. He stroked her face and together they turned their heads and looked back at the moon.

It was fully in the sky now, shining down through the trees to illuminate them standing alone in the clearing.

"I love you," Remus whispered, his breath fanning the top of her head.

Her heart felt so full that it might burst. "I love you too."

* * *

Author's Note: And that's the last full chapter! It makes me sad... But there's an epilogue coming so not to worry! I just had to see into their future, don'tcha know! I hope you enjoyed it!


	31. Epilogue

The sky was just so _blue_. So perfectly, wonderfully, _fantastically_ blue. She would expect nothing else on her birthday. Especially this birthday.

Turning six was a big deal. It was, after all, the oldest she had ever been.

Laying on her back in the middle of the field with her puppy, Jojo, at her side, she felt that nothing could be better. She lived in a perfect fairy cottage, had a perfectly pink bedroom with a perfect dollhouse (with its perfect dolls), had perfectly in love parents (at least she thought so; they were always kissin' each other), and a perfect puppy. Well, someday he'd be a perfect puppy. He was growing really fast and wasn't used to his legs yet so he fell down a lot. But someday he'll be big and strong and will carry her around on his back. He was a Mute, after all, and Mummy said that Mute's carried and pulled stuff around. He was also part wolf, which is why no one had wanted him. But Maddy liked his wolfiness. He howled a lot and it kind of sounded like singing.

"Maddy!" a loud, deep voice called. "Maddy, the guests are starting to arrive!"

Oh! Guests! Guests meant PRESENTS!

Maddy jumped to her feet in excitement and started to run through the tall grasses to the cottage but stopped to brush off all the dirt and stuff that was all over her. Jojo bounded to her side, his furry tail flying back and forth with glee.

"People are here, Jojo!" she said with a grin. "Maybe it's Uncle Harry and Uncle Ron! Maybe they brought Lucy for you to play with!"

Lucy was Jojo's best friend. They'd been adopted at the same time from the Mute rescue and had been really sad when they'd been separated. Luckily Uncle Harry and Uncle Ron came around a lot and Lucy and Jojo could play.

Maddy checked herself one last time and deemed herself clean (at least mostly, but it was her birthday anyway and if she wanted to be dirty, she could!) and hurried home, Jojo tumbling along beside her, his white and grey fur full of dead grass and dirt clods.

The cottage came into view and just like every other time she saw it, her heart seemed to get hot. It had two floors and her room overlooked the open fields that she so loved to play in. The whole back wall was covered in climbing rosebushes, which were in full bloom. Maddy liked the pink roses the best, but the yellow ones came in a close second. Making sure not to run through Mummy's garden, Maddy hurried onward. At the back door to the cottage, Maddy stopped to listen, wanting to know who had arrived.

Deep voices and cheerful yip. Definitely Harry and Ron. With a shriek of glee, she ran forward through the bright kitchen and into the little foyer. She spotted her uncles but before she could zoom up to them, she was caught in strong arms and swung around.

"Daddy!" she giggled. "Put me down!"

"No, I need my birthday hug first," he replied and Maddy grinned further. She always could tell when her Daddy was smiling at talking at the same time. As he swung her up and around, she turned and wrapped her arms around his neck. He held her close and nuzzled her dark curls.

"Daddy, you're smooth!" she said in surprise, pulling back and looking at his face.

Maddy thought her daddy was the handsomest man in the whole world. He was tall and muscly, and had pretty brown hair. But his eyes were her favorite, because she had them too. They were golden, like the wood of the cabinets in their kitchen and they were always bright and happy.

"Mummy told me to shave," he said ruefully, looking over her shoulder. Maddy turned and looked at her Mummy, who was also smiling. Today she had her hair up and back and looked pretty as ever. Maddy always thought her parents made the prettiest couple of all their friends.

"But I thought you liked the scruffy," Maddy said to her Mum. "You said it felt better in the nighttime."

Mummy's mouth dropped open like it does whenever Jojo has an accident in her closet and Maddy suddenly felt nervous. Uncle Harry and Ron suddenly started coughing really hard. Before anyone could say anything else, Jojo slid across the wooden floors from the kitchen and collided into Lucy. There were yips and growls of joy and then the two bolted out the front door.

More people arrived after that. Maddy kind of wanted to be put down, but not _really_ so instead stayed in her Daddy's arms and hugged people as they came in. Fred and George always gave the best hugs. Ginny and Dean brought their son, who was just a baby and was very seriously chewing on a stuffed unicorn's horn. Bill and his pretty partner came with their three year-old adopted twins, who tried to play with the dogs, but couldn't keep up.

"What kind of rescue did you get them from, again?" Bill asked, eyeing the dogs with interest. "The twins have been wanting one for a while."

"The Mute rescue!" Maddy said helpfully.

"_Malamute_ rescue, Maddy," Mummy corrected. Daddy laughed and set her down, telling to go and play with her friends. But the other kids were so little that she went to play with the dogs instead. Little kids were annoying.

Maddy finally settled on top of the wooden table in the garden and simply watched as more people came. Technically it was her birthday, but it was also a good excuse to get everyone together. At least, that's what Mummy said. Maddy loved watching her family. True, they weren't her _blood_ family, but they _were_ her family.

Grandma Weasley always gave her lots of sweets, Grandpa Weasley always showed her some new weird Muggle thingy, Fred would tell her funny jokes and George would give her toys. They never really brought girls with them, or if they did the girls never came back. Grandma Weasley said they were dogs. But Maddy liked dogs so she couldn't understand why that would be a bad thing.

She didn't know the others as well. She'd seen Ginny and Dean at every major holiday, but they didn't just stop by like Harry and Ron, who lived next door. Well… in the next field at least. They were her ultimate favorites. They were like another set of parents, even though they were both boys. Ron says that because they don't want kids of their own, she was partly theirs too. Maddy liked that. They were really good at playing Airplane, too.

Her party was so much fun! The grown-ups got really funny after drinking a lot of punch. Maddy couldn't have any, though. She got Pumpkin Juice instead. But they were all singing and dancing, though not very well. Daddy was the best though, because he couldn't stop laughing.

She opened her presents and got nearly everything she wanted. It looked like she was going to have to try harder to change her Mummy's mind about getting a hamster, but Maddy had a plan. She'd set that into motion soon. No doubt Harry would help her. Harry did almost anything she asked him to.

When it got dark, everyone started to leave. They all gave her hugs and sloppy wet kisses. The twins each blew on her belly. The last to leave were Harry and Ron. Lucy wasn't ready to go though and they had to pull her away from Jojo, who was whining sadly.

"Don't worry Jojo," Maddy said, petting his head. "She'll be back tomorrow."

Lucy tended to run away to be with Jojo. Or Jojo would run away to Harry and Ron's house to be with Lucy. Somehow they always ended up together and if one went missing, they were always at their friend's house. It's a good thing they live so close!

And then it was bath time, where Daddy played with mermaid dolls with her, and then helped her get ready for bed as Mummy cleaned up after the party.

"Wouldn't she like it better if she waited until tomorrow?" Maddy asked, thinking of the huge mess.

"Oh no," Daddy replied, running and comb through Maddy's curls. "You know your mother. If she let it sit, she'd never sleep."

True. It was scary how much her parents knew about each other.

Daddy tucked her in, kissed her forehead and said goodnight. He left the door a little open, just as she liked it. You know, in case the nargles under her bed wanted out in the middle of the night for a stroll. Luna said they did that sometimes. Jojo, who'd been waiting patiently in his basket, hopped up and went to jump on the bed. But his legs slid and he hit his head on the mattress. Biting back giggles, Maddy urged him to try again. He finally made it and curled up on her feet.

She tried to sleep, she really did. But after the excitement of the day, she just couldn't. She really wanted to play with her new broomstick, which Ron had given her, but knew Mummy would be mad if she flew in the house. Her thoughts were interrupted when music started playing from outside. It wasn't like the fun, fast music from the party. It was slow and romantic, like those films they sometimes went to in the city. Curious, Maddy pulled her feet out from under the sleeping Jojo and went to her window.

Down below, dancing in the light of the full moon, were her parents. They held each other close, real close (just like the film stars!) and were swaying back and forth. Maddy smiled. She couldn't wait to fall in love and live in a cottage with her prince charming, just like Mummy did. Because Daddy was the perfect prince charming. He even played with mermaids in the bathtub.

She watched for a while longer, grinning at every laugh and smile. When they kissed, all slow and sweet (like in the films!) she sighed. Someday… she'd fall in love too. For now, she thought as she went back into bed and stuffed her feet underneath her puppy, she'd be perfectly fine with Jojo. True, he fell down a lot, but he was still very cute. And sometimes, when he howled and hopped around, he kind of reminded her of Daddy.

* * *

_Author's Note: AND THAT'S IT! It's complete! Omg. It's complete. I don't even know what to do with myself now. OMG. _


End file.
